In the Beginning
Lexa paced. She was not normally one to pace; or one to feel, but Clarke had changed this. The feelings the Sky Girl made her feel were not one a warrior should allow- let alone a commander- and Lexa was fully aware of this. A spur of the moment make out session does not a Heda make.
She turned on the balls of her feet, moving now to the other side of the tent. "If I had not told Clarke, not kissed her... my weakness would not be something she may now perceive... She would continue to see me as strong." Lexa's thoughts continued to hound at her, a nagging that made her question repeatedly how Clarke would now perceive her, and if others were to find out, would they too revel in this weakness?
Lexa pulled her dagger from her belt, running the cold blade along her fingers. The polished surface pulled her back to the moment Clarke's lips had met hers, her tongue brushing against Lexa's bottom lip. Even the dagger, coated in the dry blood of Lexa's last kill, brought with it memories of weakness, memories of lust.
Lexa had promised herself after the loss of her past love that she would never allow herself to feel again. Not to love, not to care; for anyone but her people... And even then it was the love of a commander to their people, a commendable love backed by strong spirit granting respect. A love that was not to cloud choices. Unlike her love for Clarke.
Lexa exited the tent, only to be caught by Indra. "Heda."
Lexa nodded acknowledging the constantly stern faced warrior. "Indra."
Indra matched pace with Lexa "Clarke has asked to meet with you. I attempted to explain your duties in the time of war and how this would mean you would get back to her tomorrow, but she seemed not to take this well, having the childish manners that seems to be a given with all of the Shaikru, and demanded she see you. I told her that she should be careful not to speak in such-"
Lexa turned to Indra stopping in front of her. The sky girl wanted to speak to her, Clarke, Clarke wished to speak, about her feelings? About the impending war? Lexa knew the war took priority but as far as she was concerned if Clarke wanted to kiss her again or even wished for a post war love making session... Then who was she to say no?
Lexa turned to continue walking, Indra again following in her step "Tell Clarke I will be available and that I shall be leaving Ton DC at sunset." Indra tried to mask her confusion and annoyance at how Lexa was encouraging the petty behavior of the Shaikru, but Lexa took note of Indra's already angered face somehow creasing further and stopped her. "You seem to have a problem with this Indra, speak." Indra although tough feared the Heda like any other, and death was not something even the toughest grounders look kindly upon. "Nothing Heda," she replied "I shall leave now.
Indra mounted her horse and grabbed Octavia on her way out of Ton DC. Octavia wasn't particularly as good at reading Indra's emotions as Lexa was, Octavia just saw pissed Indra 24/7 and though the levels varied, pissed off Indra was pissed off Indra and Octavia wasn't going to wait for a miracle to talk to her, "So where are we heading?"
Indra grunted, clearly the level was higher than Octavia had anticipated "Heda wishes for us to inform Clarke of her arrival later."
Octavia continued to converse for the rest of the journey, however it was more of a one sided rambling as Indra blocked her out to focus on the mission at hand.
"Clarke!" Octavia went to embrace her but after a disgusted look from Indra, settled for a hand shake blended hug with a back pat that Octavia believed would be more accepted, and generally cool looking.
"Hey Octavia!" Clarke grinned turning to greet her higher up "Indra," She moved towards the grounder "I'm sorry I was demanding about seeing Lexa, but if she can't find the time to see me, I'll head up to Ton DC myself... with or without her approval."
Although Indra disliked the lack of manners and emotional control the Shaikru commander had, she let out a slight smirk, approving of her power and stubborn nature. "She will be here tonight, have your people prepare her accommodation, I shall hunt with Octavia later for food as I doubt your people will have the courtesy to provide this yourselves."
Clarke; although irritated by Indra's tone, grinned. Lexa would be here. In her camp. To speak with her. Privately.
Clarke restrained the happy dance that was building inside of her then began to work on suppressing the grin "Thank you Indra."
Octavia opened the flaps of Clarke's tent waiving her in to join her. "Are you gonna sort this out or-"
Clarke looked baffled by the beautiful Sky girl turned Grounder "Or..." Clarke answered.
"Or are you going to tidy this mess up for when Lexa gets here," Octavia noticed Clarke's still confused gaze and continued "You know it's too cold to do it in the woods and although Grounders enjoy smearing war paint everywhere, they are pretty tidy people," Clarke's face began to turn pink and she immediately spat the water she had been drinking at Octavia's face, choking loudly as she did. "Please. Don't act surprised, it's so obvious you two are together."
Clarke cleared the water from her airway, her face now fully red from the embarrassment. "We are not together Octavia."
Octavia laughed slightly and bit her lip, attempting to restrain the laughter she felt at how embarrassed Clarke had become over the conversation. "I saw you last night you idiot-"
Clarke once again cut Octavia off with a shocked response "AND?"
Octavia grinned at her annoyance, "AND, there was more of Lexa's war paint on your face then on the grounder who walked you back dummy."
Clarke felt like some one had winded her. "Shit." Clarke whispered, accidentally voicing the thought.
Ocatvia broke out into a fit of laughter, having believed she was aware of the enormous black hicky that covered her face last night. "No, way," she tried to restrain the laughter to get out the rest of her words "that is seriously hilarious though," she took in another deep breath "you didn't even know," Clarke herself now begin to laugh catching Octavia's dorky giggle "Lexa didn't even tell you!?"
Clarke and Octavia sat laughing hysterically. Clarke was slightly annoyed at the commanders cruel choice not to tell her about the make out induced makeover shed been given, but hysteria had taken over and she couldn't stop laughing. "We're not together though," Clarke broke out of the laughter slightly and tried to gather her breath as she talked. "We kissed, I dunno."
Octavia too had finally stopped laughing in time to reply. "You, you 'dunno'?"
Clarke stopped to think. "I guess I've never thought about it."
Octavia looked at Clarke "About Lexa?"
Clarke shrugged her shoulders. "About being bisexual," She thought for a while before continuing. "I always had this plan when we we were back up there, I would find a guy and he'd be the one... Lexa... she makes me question this. She's always made me smile and, I just get really excited when I know she's coming-"
Octavia began to laugh again then quickly bit her lip, hard. "Sorry."
Clarke continued once Octavia composed herself, trying not to laugh herself after realizing what Octavia was giggling about.
"I get excited WHEN I KNOW I'M GOING TO SEE HER, and she makes me feel all warm... I guess I figured at the time I just really admired her and wanted to be her, now I'm realizing I want to be ON her, not with her and-"
Clarke turned to see Raven standing at the tent door . She folded her arms and met Clarke's gaze. "Well... I did not see that one coming."