Hey, guys! I swear I'm not taking abandoning my other stories, nor am I stealing another person's story. It's all legal lol. It's not removed from the other account for readers' sake, so they won't go searching for something that's not there.

I really hope you all enjoy this, I've changed a few things, mainly some wording and any error that I could catch. Thanks! :)

As I sit here at the dinner table in this itchy dress that I would love to burn in Hell fire, I look around at my southern, traditional, fucked up, Christian family.


Aunt Jamey has been screwing the milk man for years; Uncle Ben fucked his secretary and his daughter's college roommate. Cousin Benny (Ben Jr.) likes to suck dicks to get higher up in the law firm; Mom's a drunk while Daddy is a so called preacher who fucks the Sunday school teacher on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Sundays service at 9 o'clock.

But I can't be in love with the bad ass Rachel Berry. I can't possibly be a lesbian who's obsessed with her sexy short body and perfectly weird nose, especially her chestnut locks with that one blue strip. I can never be a sinner who wants shred those ripped jeans and leather jacket off her and fuck her into oblivion. All because I would be a sinner. I'd be a lot easier if I was born with a dick and cooler parents.

"Quinnie, would you like to say the prayer this fine Easter evening?" Mom fake smiles at me, bringing me out my muse.

"Of course, Mother, I'd be glad to. Would everybody join hands?" I say just as fake with a Barbie doll smile on. "Dear Jesus. Merciful Father in Heaven. Thank you for this food that You have placed on this group of sinners," You'll need five crosses for Uncle Pete's sins. "We come today and ask that You change us," Preferably with a big rod and Rachel Berry as a girlfriend. "And we asks that You bless us with new life," New family and a thick one. "And finally, we asks that You bless us with a new heart," The heart to asks Rachel Berry to be my girlfriend and I'm still holding out for a cock stiffer than Aunt Carol's homemade casserole. "In Your name, Amen."

We open our eyes and Dad give the well rehearsed proud-of-you-show-smile. "Quinnie, that was a wonderful prayer! I've raised you perfect in the eyes of God!" If only you knew…

"I agree Russell, just yesterday she was going to her first vacation Bible school and her first church camp, now she's growing up! Seventeen year old, red-blooded, Republican woman!" She gives this horrible laugh. Little does she know, I paid this guy on the street fifty bucks to vote for Obama.

My family laughs and tells the worst jokes ever to be heard. Cousin Benny continues to talk about Mr. Mitchell's promotion. Well I know what he's been promotin'.

"Lucy," oh shit. Here we go again. Uncle Pete's going to give a lecture. "I've been thinking. And I don't know if you're parents have talked to you about his yet, but it's time for you to have a nice young fellow to stand by. What do say?" He grins his bleached teeth at me and ruffles my hair.

I smooth is down and smile again, trying to make myself blush. "I have my eye on a nice boy at school, Uncle Pete. I believe he's going to ask me on a date soon." Hearing this, my father straightens up and my mother places her hand over her heart. And the award goes to … QUINN FABRAY! *cheers silently in mind*

"Now who is this boy, where's he living, and is he a Republican?" Dad laughs, but I know he's serious.

"Daddy, his name is Samuel Evans, his father works at the bank with Mr. Smith. He's that blond guy I sit next to on the way to Church Camp."

"Oh! He's such a nice young man! You two would go together just lovely." Mom gushes with my aunts.

"Yes well, I'm sure he would love to meet you as my boyfriend," After I pay him. "But I must get going to bed; I have to volunteer at the animal shelter tomorrow morning at eight."

"Oh, that's great honey! How wonderful and caring! Goodnight, Quinn."

"Goodnight." I receive a chorus of echoes as I go upstairs and go to bed.

Little did I know that prayer would change my whole life.

Yayy ! lol. Tell me how you like it! Please. Review. If you've previously read it on the other account, your reviews are needed! Lol

~Kay :)