I can't take this anymore, I had to do this, I'm the Commander so I have to dirige my people and take care of them! I had to save my people ! So I've decide with my head not with my heart.
But it's too much...
When I've told to Clarke that her People wasn't in the part of the deal, her eyes, her beautiful blue eyes were so desesperate, she was in shock and I had to go away from her, turning my back from her, desesperate face. My head was telling me to go away because this was the right choice. Saving my people was my job, the Commander Job.
But my heart, my heart was telling me to come back to her, to take her in my arms and just hug her. Telling her that what I said wasn't the true, that I didn't betray her...
But I did, I betrayed "Clarke of the Sky people".
The only person that I really care about, not only the Commander, but me Lexa, the girl who just want to love someone and share her life with someone'else.
That part of me who has lost Costia, my lover, and let my heart frozen.
But when I met Clarke, my heart became to feel, to be warmed up by Clarke, my Clarke.
But I missed up everything, I take the little chance to be with Clarke with this deal...
The litte chance that Clarke could be with me someday. I just missed up that.
I decide to go to the forest, alone. Without the guards who are staring at me and seeing the Commander. I just want to be Lexa. So I go outside my tent and diriging myself to the dark forest, thinking about what I've done. That I will have to leave with that. Why can't I just telling to my heart to fock op! Im the Commander he had to listen to me !
But he didn't care and continue to feel...
"Love is weakness" I began to tell to myself.
I want to cry but I just can't so I sit under a tree and tell to myself dont to fall asleep.
But in few minutes, I was dreaming about blue eyes and a beautiful blond hair.
"May we meet again" I told him. The same think that Lexa told me few hours before, and after that what did she do? She betrayed me ! Yes Lexa betrayed me ! I don t understand why, I mean yes she is the Commander so she has to defend and protect her people but why ? why did she do this to me?
When she first kiss me, I was suprised but I kissed her back, yes I kissed her back ! I was so stupid.
But anyway I have to think about something else so I just close my eyes and continue to walk.
But something stopped me...
A sound, like if someone was following me so in a half second i was beside a tree looking for the person who are looking at me. I started to listen to the silent forest and just quiet myself.
I heard nothing...
When, suddently, I was in the ground with a knife against my throat! I stared to defend myself, to attack the person who put me on the ground!
The person almost don't move, and I was shocked by seeing that he were warpaint.
His face was emotionless and I started to think about the Commander face, The Commander who told me that my people wasn't in the part of her deal ! Someone take me back to the real life when he came closer to me and started to starring at me with his 2 metres high.
"Take her, we don't know who is she exactly" Told the man in English.
I begin to push the other men out of me but everything went black in a momentum.