Yo it's TTJOD here with the seventh chapter of The Cold Uzumaki. In this chapter we get Naruto's reaction to Jiraiya's book. Shiro is like Kon from bleach or Krillin from DBZ, but you know a lion and deadly. I also put Kurenai finally hearing Naruto sing and a few romantic moments. Anyway Kurenai is going to become part of the cold clan next chapter along with a certain taken waitress. Until then stay true my devoted legion of Doom.
Once back in the village Naruto was in her home reading her a book on the council rules, because so far she had been flying by the seat of her pants. Shiro had settled in very nicely and was resting in her lap like the good little lion he was. She yawning was about to put the book away, when there was a tap on her window. She turning to the window blinked spotting Yugao with a picnic basket and a little teal book. Naruto picking Shiro up placed him on one of the shelves and walked over to the window. Opening it, she smiled and asked "What's up Yugao-hime?"
Yugao smiling leaned in and kissed Naruto on the lips. She ending the kiss stepped into the room and said "I thought I'd make you dinner, since you've been cooped up in here since we got back."
Naruto smiling said "Yugao-hime you're such a good girlfriend."
She then blinked when Shiro mewled. Giggling she said "Shiro-kun hopes that you brought something for him to eat or he's gonna be very upset with you."
Yugao giggling said "I brought an entire ham for Shiro-kun."
Shiro hearing this was instantly up pawing at the basket. Naruto giggling picked up the lion and said "I don't understand why you're even hungry Shiro, I just feed you six plates of bacon and a entire cow." Shiro looking up at her with the puppy dog eyes mewled. Naruto giggling said "I didn't say you weren't getting the ham, I just don't understand why you're hungry."
Yugao setting the blanket down, put the basket down and put the contents down on the blanket. Shiro spotting the ham, jumped from Naruto's arms and attacked it with vigor. Naruto laughing at this sat down on the blanket and accepted a sandwich from Yugao. An hour later and Shiro was sleeping on his back his belly being larger then the rest of his body. Naruto and Yugao were cuddling in Naruto's bed. It was obvious to tell who wore the pants in the relationship as Naruto's head was resting on Yugao's chest, with Yugao's right hand resting on Naruto's waist. Naruto with her eyes closed asked "So what is the other reason you came over Yugao-chan?"
Yugao biting her lip with fear said "Well I have something to show you that's probably going to make you really mad at me."
Naruto leaning up looked at Yugao with dubious eyes and asked "What are you hiding from me Yugao-chan?"
Yugao getting up from the bed, revealing herself to be naked, walked over to the book she had brought with her. Bending over to pick it up, she really started to worry about how Naruto was going to react to the contents of this book. She sighing walked back to the bed and climbed in it. Handing Naruto the book she closed her eyes and waited for the explosion. Naruto reading the title of the book instantly felt rage build up. It was called Cold Icha-Icha; Queen's Harem Book 1. She opening the first page, read the dedication and scowled as it was dedicated to her and Yugao. She then flipping to the next page, felt her blood absolutely boil as the first page had an image of her being pulled in five directions by five familiar girls. She quickly flipping through the rest of the book, was now furious beyond reproach. Her killing intent was leaking and the entire village felt it. Yugao in the same room as the source of the killing intent got really nervous.
Naruto gently closing the book, got out of bed, ignoring the fact that she was naked and walked into the bathroom. Closing the door, she opened the bathroom window and fired off six death beams into the sky. She shutting the window, opened the bathroom door, walked back over to the bed and climbed back in. She laying her head down on Yugao closed her eyes said "I will deal with you in the morning Yugao. Until then I'm just going to sleep using you as a pillow."
Yugao was about to say something when Naruto said "Say a single word and I will kick you out of my home, no clothes, no nothing and make you run home naked." Yugao moving her eyes to the window shut her mouth as it was dark outside and that meant that the creeps were out and about. Naruto yawning said "Good girl now sleep." Yugao closing her eyes knew that it was going to be a long road to redemption for her.
The next morning Naruto woke up and climbed out of bed. Walking into her bathroom, she turned on the sink and brushed her teeth. After rinsing she took her shower and used the bathroom. Once done with that, she walked out of the bathroom dripping wet and into her closet. She getting dressed slowly put her earrings in. Once fully dressed she walked into her kitchen and fixed breakfast, ignoring how Yugao and a few others were now watching her ready for her to explode. She fixing a plate of honey glazed bacon set it on the floor, and watched as Shiro tore into his plate. Once done with his plate, he looked up at her with his face covered in honey. She picking him up wiped his face clean with a cloth. She then walking over to the most comfy chair in her home, she sat down in it, and pulled the already snoozing Shiro into her lap. She folding her hands together finally allowed her rage to show in the form of a not so subtle influx of killing intent that crashed down on the village like a tidal wave on a small island. Everyone in the village gulped loudly and some children started crying for their mothers, who in turned cried for their mothers.
Naruto with her eyes closed said "You have five seconds to explain just why I shouldn't dump all five of you for this transgression."
Ino with her tail wrapped around her waist said "Naruto-hime I would never subject you to that horrible book on purpose. I love you with all of my heart. I'm part of your clan now. You're my dark queen, and I'm your blonde haired follower. I'd follow you into the mouth of the devil if I had to."
Naruto hearing this glared at Ino said "Yet the both of us are in this book doing things no one should be privileged to."
Ino gulped at this. Kin dropping to her knees said "Forgive me Naruto-sama for I have sinned. I laid down with my mistress while knowing that we were not alone. I beg of you to punish me as you see fit."
Naruto hearing this blinked when Shiro mewled. She smiling said "Kin-chan you have been forgiven by the grace of Shiro. Your punishment is to be his groomer for the next 3 years."
Kin still with her head bowed said "I humbly accept my punishment."
Tayuya dropping to her knees said "Forgive me Naruto-hime as I could not resist your body no longer. I gave in to the tempting scent of your body and didn't do my job of destroying the pervert."
Naruto hearing this said "I will punish you Tayuya. You are going to be Anko's training partner for the next 3 years. You will not complain once or your time will be increased. When you are here you will do what I assign you."
Tayuya sweating said "Yes Naruto-hime."
Naruto turning to Ten-Ten quirked an eyebrow. Ten-Ten standing proud said "I will not apologize for my actions. I gave you my virginity and loved every second of it. If I had to, I would do it again. You rocked my world and even now when training with my team, I can still feel my toes curl."
Naruto hearing this blinked when Shiro mewled again. Smiling she said "Shiro has decided that your punishment is to dress in what Lee and Gai does. You will wear this all day and all night. You will wear it in public and will not wear anything else for the next 4 weeks."
Ten-Ten blanched hearing this and shakily said "Yes Naruto-hime."
Naruto then turning to Yugao said "Your turn, and it'd better be damn good."
Yugao swallowing said "I am eternally sorry for what I have done. I only did it to relax you, as you seemed stressed at the moment. I also gave Jiraiya directions to the hot springs, knowing full well what he was going to do with the information. I know that I broke your trust but please forgive me for doing so."
Naruto hearing this could feel her inner darkness roaring for the death of Yugao. She closing her eyes, said "Ino and Yugao, you two have somehow brought out my inner sociopath. Right now I want to do nothing but shoot the both of you with a death beam." She opening her eyes revealed her glowing golden eyes as she said "I will not be relinquishing either of you from your lives. Instead from this moment on the two of you will be on probation. I will be watching the both of you like hawks, but you'll never see me. If you even speak to the pervert." Her power and killing intent tripled and everyone in the village swore that death was hovering over them. She then tilting her head said "I will show the true power of the cold clan, and reveal my inner darkness and show everyone why it is NOT A GOOD IDEA TO BREACH THE TRUST OF NARUTO UZUMAKI FUCKING NAMIKAZE, QUEEN OF THE GODDAMN COLD CLAN."
This roar was the last thing that came out of her mouth before Shiro transformed into his lion form and roared "GET THE FUCK OUT!"
Everyone did indeed get the fuck out, as this was the first time they had heard Shiro speak, and he sounded way to close to Naruto's second form. Once everyone was out of her room, she slowly stood up and said "Come Shiro-kun we have paperwork and a nap to get to." Shiro transforming back into his cub form followed Naruto into the second room.
Tsunade in her new office shook her head spotting the reason Naruto was upset. She sighing said "I have the feeling I'm going to need to get her out of the village, and quickly before she kills someone." She looking at a sheet of paper said "Namely the Uchiha and his loyal howler monkey."
She was about to send for Naruto when Kurenai came in with her team. She looking at Tsunade said "Tsunade-sama Kiba-kun has been approached by someone from the land of snow. They wish to ask for assistance in taking it back. I believe that you sent team seven minus Naruto to escort the princess to snow, hidden as a movie."
Tsunade hearing this blinked and looked at the mission. She quickly face palmed as team seven was way in over their heads, even with Kakashi. She then blinked and got the perfect idea. She smiling said "Kurenai you have my permission to accept this mission, on the condition that you take Naruto with you as back up."
Kurenai blinked and asked "Does this condition have anything to do with Tayuya appearing in front of Anko earlier to be her training partner or Ten-Ten dressing like Gai ?"
Tsunade shaking her head said "I need to get her out of the village before someone pushes her past her limit and she kills them."
Kurenai hearing this said "Alright she can come along, but I'm in command right?"
Tsunade nodding said "Yes, just get her out of here."
Kurenai nodding turned to her team and said "Go pack team, we have a country to save." All three students nodded and took off. Kurenai then shaking her head took off towards Naruto's apartment.
Naruto reading a book about how to tell the difference between poison mushrooms and regular mushrooms blinked when there was a knock on her door. She not moving said "Shiro-kun go answer the door."
Shiro mewling walked to the door and opened it. Kurenai blinked spotting the lion from before looking up at her with curious eyes. Shiro then mewled and let her in. She shaking her head searched out Naruto. She blinked finding her reading her book, while painting a gorgeous picture with her tail. Naruto looking up from said book blinked spotting Kurenai. She tilting her head asked "What can I help you with Kurenai-chan?"
Kurenai smiling explained what Tsunade had told her. Naruto nodding said "I'll be ready in a second. I have to grab my travel gear, and maybe a parka." She hearing a mewl, giggled and said "Make that two parkas as Shiro-kun refuses to go out into that winter wonderland naked."
Kurenai giggled hearing this. Naruto telling Kurenai to get comfortable, grabbed her gear, and with a little difficulty slipped a pink parka over Shiro. She smiling picked him up and said "Simply Adorable."
Shiro mewled and started to scratch his nose. She then putting Samehada on her back, walked to Kurenai with her black parka unzipped but on. She smiling at Kurenai said "Myself and Shiro are now ready Kurenai-sensei."
Kurenai spotting Shiro giggled at how adorable he looked. Kurenai then leading them to the gate, blinked as her team still wasn't there yet. She sighing turned to Naruto who was trying to keep Shiro inside of his parka. She giggled at this. Naruto hearing this blinked and asked "What's so funny Kurenai-chan?"
Kurenai blushing said "Shiro-kun seems not to want to remain in his parka."
Naruto smiling down at Shiro who was looking up at her with big innocent red eyes said "He doesn't mind the parka, he's just trying to keep me level headed as he knows that I'm upset." She kissing Shiro on the nose said "He's very good at his job and I love him for it." Shiro hearing this mewled and puffed out his chest. Naruto and Kurenai giggled at this. Naruto realizing that they had some time to kill asked "Kurenai-hime would you like to hear a song?"
Kurenai remembering how Ino had described Naruto's singing nodded and said "I would love that Naruto-hime."
Naruto smiling closed her eyes and said "I wrote this about Ero-sannin and his continued attempts at wooing Tsunade-san. It's called Million Dollar Houses. I hope you, Shiro-kun and Samehada-hime enjoy."
[Million Dollar Houses (The Painter) by Pierce the Veil. I don't own]
"So what if I was just a painter
painting houses on the rich blue coast?
Would you ever try to leave me
for somebody who deserves you most?
'Cause darling I am just a painter.
I'm painting houses for the rich old folks
I'm gonna make a million dollars
'cause nobody's gonna steal you no
For diamonds and gold
For diamonds and gold
'Cause I've broken bones for you, and for you only
I make money but we just can't keep this home
Give me your heart and your hand we can run!
We can run, we can run baby, run now.
We can run baby, run
She's like a bullet through an ocean
I still remember how you moved so slow.
You tried to kill me with a shotgun.
Bang! Now we're even
We don't stop till someone's bleeding.
(We don't stop till someone's bleeding)
'Cause I've broken bones for you , and for you only.
I make money but we just can't keep this home
Give me your heart and your hand and we can run!
We can run, we can run baby, run now.
We can run baby, run baby, you're my hope.
Sometimes the moon looks brighter than the sun.
As times like this run up my wrist,
she hates all of the guts and blood.
Splash around with me while we move like flames
on burning sheets.
And your doctor won't stop calling me her
But baby no, sometimes things don't work out the
way we planned.
To live is just to fall asleep,
to die is to awaken.
Maybe we're meant to lose the ones we love,
but I'll fight for you until then.
And if they stole you from me,
on my arm there's a tattoo of your name.
I've broken bones for you and for you only.
I make money, but fuck money we want love.
Give me your heart and your hand and we can
She opening her eyes sweat dropped spotting everyone around them swooning, including the client. She turning to Kurenai was about to ask how was it when Shiro actually started to cry. She feeling her eyes softening picked up the lion and nuzzled his face. She trying to get the lion to stop crying said "It's not about me Shiro-kun it's about the old pervert who writes those smutty books and his love for the old lady warming up the hat for me. I haven't broken any bones for anyone and I'm fine."
Shiro looking at her with tears in his red eyes mewled. She smiling said "Of course I mean it."
Shiro hearing this mewled happily. She giggling put the lion down, who instantly went back to scratching his nose. She turning to Kurenai asked "How was that Kurenai-chan?"
Kurenai still swooning said "I see why Ino calls you her dark queen and a sexy siren." Kurenai smiling gently said "That song was dark, but romantic at the same time. It makes me want to cry, but at the same times makes me want to take you to a private place and make sweet love to you until the end of days."
Naruto blushed hearing this and said "Kurenai-chan."
Kurenai giggled at this and said "Then you blush and I remember that you're not some great tragic poet, but ninja of the village hidden in the leaves. Who could crush an entire army with a swing of your tail, and still new to the whole sweeping people off of their feet thing."
Naruto hearing this smirked and asked "So I swept you off of you feet eh Kurenai-hime?"
Kurenai now blushing turned spotting her snickering students and said "Well this mission isn't gonna start itself. Let's get going."
She then walked out of the gate followed by team eight and the client. Naruto giggling picked up Shiro and said "Notice she deflected the question Shiro-kun."
Shiro getting comfy in her arms mewled. The group got about a mile away from Konoha when they heard someone scream "I AM NOT OLD YOU SMART ASS BRAT!"
Naruto giggled at this and said "Says the old lady with a genjutsu on to keep her looking young forever." Everyone laughed at this, including the client