Don't Cry Alone
Part One
Written by Colonel Karl L Schubaltz

Author's Note: This fic is a Karl/Thomas fic, you know what that means... yes you do. It's a bro/bro incest fic. Don't like it? Then SCRAM!!!

For those who would like to read this, it's got attempted suicide, Thomas-angst, lemony freshness, Van-bastardization, and other good stuff.

He watched her walk away, just like that. Unable to stop her, he felt Van Fleiheight just reach into his chest and rip out his still-beating heart. He didn't have to look into Van's face, he can still imagine the look he gave him when he proposed to Fiona. It was like he was mocking him greatly.

"Lieutenant Schubaltz." Van's voice called out to his dark blonde comrade-in-arms. "You're coming to the wedding, right?"

"What the hell does it look like? I ain't got much of a say in the matter since you made me the Best Man, dickhead."

It was clear in his lime green eyes that he just wanted to snap on Van. But he heard her magical voice over the comlink. "I'll look forward to seeing you there, Lt. Schubaltz."

"Yes, Miss Fiona." He sighed, lowering the communicator to collect his thoughts. Watching the Blade Liger vanish from view, the young Imperial lieutenant turned toward the base and just stood there. Rain clouds began to roll in, thunder rumbled above his head. He continued to stare into the Imperial flag as rain fell against his body. He didn't move, he didn't budge, he just let the rain hit him and drench him in their cold embrace. He felt a hand firmly on his shoulder, and a shelter from the downpour. Looking up to see who it was, the 22-year-old lieutenant looked directly into the pretty face of his older brother, the great Colonel Karl Lichen Schubaltz. Karl was holding a black umbrella who he was using to shelter his younger brother from the rain.

"Get inside, Thomas, or you'll catch your death." Karl instructed firmly but in a brotherly sort of way.

"I rather stay in the rain." Thomas looked down at the watery ground, avoiding Karl's warm gaze.


"Because I belong in the cold." Thomas closed his eyes, hoping that the stinging is just the rain getting into his eyes.

"Don't be silly, Thomas. Come inside, I'll fix you some tea." Karl escorted his brother inside and closed the door, before closing the umbrella. "Let's get you out of those wet clothes." He smiled at Thomas, patting him on the back softly.

"Karl... I don't..."

"If you say you don't want to get dressed, I'm gonna backhand you."

"Yes, brother." Thomas let Karl close the bedroom door and then search for some clean, warm, dry clothes. He looked at the various things on the walls and on the shelves. There were all kinds of military academy trophies from the academy he went to. The diploma was hung against the wall with care, in a ebony and gold picture frame. There were photos on the wall, photos of their parents and them as kids. Along with the two boys was a girl, 2 years younger than Thomas and a girl 1 year older than Karl. The little girl was Samara, she was daddy's little princess. The teenage girl was Bianka, the siblings' surrogate mother when the parents were attending charity banquets and balls and various rich-people things. Karl was mommy's little pride and joy, he always has been. Thomas got lucky when he entered Vaskuyard Academy, it was because of his name that he was able to get in so easily. If the Schubaltzes had a black sheep, Thomas was surely it.

"Here you go." Karl handed Thomas some clean, dry clothes and smiled. "Get dressed in these, don't worry about returning them."

Thomas got out of his wet uniform in the eyes of his brother. He set the wet uniform in the basket and reached for the grey shirt on the chair. Karl held his nose, remaining calm and composed while he watched his brother undress. Thomas was aware of Karl watching him, but they seen each other naked before so it was no big deal... or was it. Finally in the dry set of clothes, Thomas went to put his boots back on when the strawberry blonde colonel put his hands on his younger brother's shoulders. "Stay here, I'll fix you something warm to drink."

"Okay, Karl." Thomas sat down on Karl's bed as the colonel left for the kitchen. He looked around the room to his dismay, Karl seemed to have it all right in front of him. Trophies of his success, photos of a happy childhood, awards of his great, many achievements and letters from fangirls who somehow see Karl as a bishounen-god instead of a great war general. (Guilty) Thomas's eyes began to water, his heart wrenched painfully in his chest, he gripped the blankets tighter until he was white-knuckled. To his surprise, Karl's gunbelt was on the bedpost, complete with a military issue pistol and a clip of ammunition. Pulling the dark grey pistol from its' holster, Thomas examined it and saw on the stock of the pistol was the Imperial insignia along with the markings of the First Panzer Division. His fingers burned with anticipation when he held the loaded pistol in his hands, his green eyes stared into the cold metal deeply. Thoughts wandered into his mind, thoughts about Fiona and of Van. Fiona smiled at him in his mind, her pretty face and slender body dancing in his mind's eye. But soon she was swept off her feet by Van, they kissed and held each other tightly. Van turned to Thomas, flipping him off and grinning sardonically at Thomas's aching heart.

More images flooded Thomas's eyes, images of his own brother taking all the limelight while he sat in the shadows, watching. People praised and congratulated Karl, while Thomas sat in his corner, hugging his knees. 'He's a spitting image of his father' or 'he proudly carries the clan's glorious name on his shoulders' was one of the more common things he heard growing up. Thomas was often ignored, even by his own sisters. In his mind, he could see Karl ignoring him just the same way, letting the glory of being the Firstborn son consume him. 'You should be more like Karl.' He heard his father's voice repeat that over and over in his ears. Snapping from his bubble, Thomas wiped the tears from his cheeks and put the gun to his temple. "The world is better off without me." He cried out, letting out a sob as he slowly started to squeeze the trigger. Then WHAM!!!! The gun flew out of his hand and against the wall with a loud THUD. Thomas opened his eyes but before he knew it, his wrists were grabbed. He struggled, blinded by the tears of sorrow and torment and his own tortured existence, Thomas let out a painful scream. He twisted around, trying to get out of his captor's grip.

"Thomas!! What the hell are you thinking!?" He heard Karl's angry voice cry out to him, waking him from his bubble of pain. The lieutenant opened his tear-filled eyes to see Karl looking directly into his face. He was holding his wrists in his iron grip, sadness and anger in Karl's face. "Damn it, Thomas... I don't want to bury my only brother!" Karl's eyes watered, his grip on Thomas's wrists loosening.

"B-brother!? All through our childhood, you were always in the limelight! You got the praise and the attention and I got the shaft!"

"AT LEAST YOU HAD A CHILDHOOD!!!" Karl shouted, pushing Thomas against the wall, causing him to lurch forward. "Did you ever see one toy in my room? One poster or one childhood accessory? No... they didn't exist to me, Thomas. You were always the one with the toys and the games and such. Muter and vater didn't WANT you to grow up to be a soldier...! They wanted you to be a normal kid!"

"..." Thomas looked up at Karl with tearful eyes, he hugged his knees and buried his face in his knees. "I wanted to be just like you. You were my hero...."

"Thomas...." Karl slowly brought Thomas to his feet, gently and tenderly. He wiped the tears from Thomas's red cheeks. "I'm sorry for pushing you, when I saw that you were about to take your own life, I...."

"It's okay, Karl..." Thomas sobbed, his grip on his brother's off-grey uniform loosened. "I deserved it."

Before another word was spoken, Karl kissed his brother with such tenderness and mercy. His arms pulled Thomas in closer, his fingers gripped the grey fabric of his brother's attire. Thomas was at first shocked that Karl was kissing him the way lovers kiss each other, his green eyes sparkled as they widened. A blush tinted his cheeks, his eyes closed slowly and his arms wrapped around Karl's neck. Karl scooped his brother into his arms like a groom carrying a bride and carried him to the bed.

The moonlight was hitting their bodies just right, Karl was watching Thomas as he sleepily looked at the moons in the window. They both were naked and covered with the blankets on Karl's bed. Thomas gazed into Karl's eyes, he let Karl's fingers slide delicately in his hair.

"Did I hurt you, Thomas?" He whispered softly as his thumb lightly brushed against his lips.

"No." Thomas kissed Karl's thumb, he smiled up at his brother.

"I'd die before I hurt you again." Karl whispered again before leaning down to kiss him. "I love you, dear brother."

Pulling Karl close to his body, letting him rest, Thomas's eyelids fluttered shut as he went to sleep. "I love you too...." The dark blonde whispered, watching Karl start to doze off.