I have been a Jacob/Bella fan for a very long time, but I never really read their fanfiction before, nor did I write for them, but once I started reading, plot bunnies started hopping around in my head, and I had to write this down.
I don't have a Beta for this just yet-please, feel free to volunteer-so I apologize for any and all mistakes. I'd like to point out that Bella is slightly different in this story, as I imagine she would have been had she not lost touch with her family and friends in Forks. She is, therefore, a little less socially awkward, and more sure of herself.
She and Jake are very close friends, as they never lost touch, and their relationship continued to develop since their childhood.
And the rest... Well, I'm not too sure about continuing this just yet. I have a few ideas, involving Bad!Edward or even Bad!Cullens, imprinting and a whole lot more angst than I usually write, but I also have opposite kinds of ideas, which involve Bella being involved with Jake from the very start, since BEFORE she met Edward, and therefore altering the entirety of Twilight's original storyline.
This is, most definitely, AU.
Also, mildly M, strong T scene in the flashback, in Jacob's POV.
Please, leave a review, tell me what you think, if I should continue or not :)
DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Twilight franchise, I just like to take out the characters and play with them. I do not own anything but an overactive imagination and this storyline.
SOMEWHERE I BELONG
Chapter One—I'm Coming Home
I'm coming home
Tell the world that I'm coming home
Let the rain
All the pain of yesterday
I know my kingdom awaits
And they've forgiven my mistakes
I'm coming home
I'm coming home
Tell the world I'm coming
—Coming Home, Skylar Grey
PRESENT TIME—SEATTLE AIRPORT
My leg bounced up and down as I waited impatiently for the baggage carrousel to start turning so I could pick up my bags and get the hell out of this airport. I wasn't exactly thrilled to move to Forks, but I did look forward to seeing some of my old friends again.
I hadn't seen any of them—unfortunately including my dad and my best friend (and maybe kind-of boyfriend)—in over a year and a half. I'd hated to not see them for so long, but it had been inevitable—my dad had to work the entire time and Jacob couldn't afford plane tickets to fly out to meet me, and I hadn't been able to afford one to meet him either.
We'd talked over the phone often enough, but it wasn't the same.
I'd missed them all.
We'd been best friends since we were both kids, but the last time I had been in Forks something between us had shifted… Our relationship had… Evolved. Jake had asked me to be his date for a dance his school was throwing—not that that in itself was so unusual, we always went as the others date to important stuff like that—and the date had turned a little more… Real date-like than either of us had anticipated.
Not that I didn't love Jacob—I did and I always would, and I was pretty sure he felt the same way—, but it had been unexpected and a little painful.
Two years ago when I spent the summer in Forks, Jake and I had shared a few kisses—it happened accidently, I swore—before we decided that we wouldn't risk our friendship by trying to date long-distance.
I didn't want to risk losing him if it didn't work out.
He felt the same.
And we'd both been content enough with it, until last year, when the dance was over and Jake drove us home, then impulsively kissed me on the front porch—and though there was a part of me that demanded I stop him before things went too far, I hadn't, and Jake had ended up spending the night.
In my bed.
With far less clothing (and sleep) than our usual sleepovers.
A YEAR AND A HALF AGO—SWAN RESIDENCE, FORKS
Bella giggled as we stumbled into her house, both grinning like the stupid love struck teenagers we were—I knew I was; at fifteen, I was completely and utterly certain that Bella Swan was the love of my life and that I'd never want anyone else.
Her lips were soft and addictive, and I couldn't stop pressing small kisses to them—I pulled away to breathe, but she wouldn't let me move away. Her arms were still wrapped around me tightly, and I couldn't find it in myself to complain about that. "Bells," I breathed, resting my hands on her hips gently, kind of nervous, because this wasn't supposed to happen—we were not going to go there, because it was dangerous, I didn't want to risk losing her—, "Are you sure you want this?"
I backtracked when I saw the slightly hurt look on her face, "I mean, I want to, I really do, but I don't if you're not ready."
She shook her head and leaned up, pressing her lips to mine, resting our foreheads together.
I sighed contently, melting into her kiss after a moment of hesitation, treading my fingers through her lusciously curled hair, before allowing her to break the kiss to breathe. Bella blushed prettily and breathed in deeply, looking up at me from beneath her lashes.
Damn her, that looks does things to me.
"I want this too, Jake," she whispered softly, stroking my cheek, "I love you. I always have."
I slid my hands down her sides, rubbing the soft silk of her dress between my fingers as I asked, "Are you really sure? I don't want to pressure you or something." My heart was beating so hard and fast and loudly, I was almost sure she could hear it, if she'd lean close enough—she tilted her head, brushing her lips over mine just a tiny little bit (just enough to drive me absolutely insane with desire; I'm a hormonal teenage boy, I am not always in charge of my hormones, especially not where Bells is concerned).
"Of course I am," she smiled, curling her fingers in the fabric of my jacket, "I always wanted it to be you, Jake. Kiss me again."
I happily obliged—I'm a hormonal teen who's super in love with this girl, so sue me—and kissed her deeply, fully, gently tugging on the tiny buttons on the back of her dress, loosening as many as I could with one hand, while burying the other in her curly hair as she hopped up, wrapping her legs around my waist.
I stumbled towards the stairs, trying to get us to her bedroom—I really didn't want our first time to be on Charlie's shabby old couch—but Bella's tongue is in my mouth and holy fucking shit.
I could barely remember my own name, much less the lay-out of Bella's house.
"Bella," I moaned against her lips, sighing victoriously when we made it into the bedroom and I managed to undo all the little buttons on her dress, pushing it off her shoulders slowly—very hesitantly, because I'd never seen her this undressed before (I'd never seen any girl this undressed before)—revealing the deep purple bra and panties she was wearing.
She was absolutely breathtaking, and when I tried to tell her—albeit stuttering and blushing—she grumbled and told me to do less talking and more kissing. I slid my fingers over her warm, soft skin, smiling briefly at her cheeky comment before taking her hand in mine and leading her to the bed.
We were both absolutely still for a split second, and then her lips were on mine again, and I'm lifting her, carrying her the last few feet to the bed, where I let her fall back onto the soft mattress, my hands instantly reaching for the front clasp of her bra, fumbling slightly, because my fingers were shaking with want and desire and nervousness.
Eventually, I broke the kiss, leaving us both panting and desperate for air, yet still wanting more—my hands are shaking as I finally manage to won my battle with the front clasp of her bra, and I was fumbling like an incompetent idiot, but I managed and then the bra slipped and she was bare before me—and holy shit, she's beautiful.
"You are so beautiful," I breathed, completely in awe of the gorgeous girl laying before him—I'd loved Bella since we were children and I couldn't believe this was happening. "Jacob," Bella whined softly, tugging on his shirt and snapping him from his haze. "Take off your clothes, mister," she ordered, and he couldn't help but chuckle at her bossiness.
"Whatever you want, Bells," I grinned, sitting back on my haunches to pull my shirt over my head—I lost my jacket somewhere on the stairs already, though I wasn't sure where or when—, feeling a slight burst of purely male pride when he caught Bella eyeing my chest appreciatively.
"Jacob," she moved a little, leaning up just far enough to pull my lips back down to hers—and then I was simply gone.
I stopped thinking and just did, moving her back against the bed, relishing in the feel of her body against mine—skin to skin, our mouths permanently fused together. I was hard, ready, pushing against her thigh, her fingernails digging into my back, and all I could think about was that it wasn't enough, and that I needed more of her.
I wouldn't ever be able to get enough of her.
"Please," she breathed against my lips, "Jacob, please." Neither one of us said anything particularly coherent after that—I was sure I didn't even think anything coherent as the remainder of our clothes got tossed and we melted together in every way possible, and all that registered with me was the faint noises that fell from her lips, the soft cries and moans of pleasure every time I did something right and all I could do to tell her how much I loved her was groan and move faster and there was nothing but her and me.
Our hands were clasped together so tightly, my knuckles were whitening and I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think…
All I could see, hear, smell and feel was Bella.
And then she was crying out, panting my name in my ear, tightening impossibly around me—and then I was gone too.
The waves of pleasure that washed over me were so good, so intense, I felt like I was drowning in them, and I barely noticed that I had collapsed on top of her. I wrapped myself around her to keep myself at least a little bit grounded before I could be completely washed away by pleasure.
Her body relaxes beneath mine, her arms wrapping loosely around my back and her fingers trailing up and down my back gently—it would've send shivers down my spine, but I was so spent and sated, I could barely keep my eyes open. I loved how she breathed in soft little puffs, how her muscles were still contracting and how she was pressing her lips to my temple.
I wasn't too sure about other people's first times, but I was pretty damn sure it wasn't like this, and I was really damn sure that I was lucky to have a girl like Bella to share it with—my best friend and the love of my life.
I might've been young, but… I could love this woman forever.
"Oh my God," she panted, her fingers tangling in my hair, "That was…" She stopped and exhaled in frustration, and I chuckled a little, moving so I could lean up on my elbows, staring down at her. "I know," I whispered, leaning down to press a soft, gentle kiss to her lips, "me too."
When I moved to lie down next to her, she whined and tightened her arms and legs around me, so I couldn't move away, even if I'd wanted to. "Don't move," she pleaded, "I like you right where you are." I complied and rested my head against her chest again, soothed by the sound of her heart thudding steadily in her chest, beneath my ear.
I wondered, for a brief moment, what this would mean for us.
I knew she'd be going back to Arizona in two days, and I wasn't sure how either of us would handle the separation this time.
"I love you, Bells," I breathed, my eyes closing despite my best attempts to stay awake longer, to bask in the afterglow for a little bit longer. I didn't really register her fingers running through my hair, nor her soft, blissful smile, or her whispered, "I love you too, Jake. Always."
PRESENT TIME—SEATTLE AIRPORT
Thinking back on it, I thanked my lucky stars that Charlie had been working a night shift at the station so he hadn't heard or caught us.
I was well aware that sleeping with my best friend—for who I may have far-from-just-best-friends-kind-of-feelings—the night before I would return to Arizona was not a very good or smart idea, but I wanted to not be smart for once.
I wanted to be with Jacob and only Jacob, and I would never regret sharing my first—and only—sexual experience with him. I knew he felt the same, and that had made not seeing him for a year and a half afterwards even harder.
We hadn't spoken of what had happened between us.
He'd kissed me goodbye when I left, but when we talked on the phone in the past year, neither of us had brought it up—I was a little afraid to, and I suspected Jake was too.
It would make for an interesting—possibly awkward—reunion.
"Finally," I exclaimed when the carrousel whirred to life and my tattered red bag came into view. I snatched it up and hurried towards the exit—thankfully without tripping over my own feet—before the other five million people in the room could decide that they wanted out too. While I was walking, I dug my brand new iPhone (my mom's idea of a goodbye present) out of my pocket and fumbled with it for a minute before I managed to text my dad that I was almost in the arrivals hall.
I was pretty sure he'd be outside, waiting with the cruiser in the parking lot, like every other year.
He was pretty surprised I had decided to finish my junior and senior year in Forks—my mom too—but I had thought about this a lot. I missed my friends in Forks, I missed Jacob and I missed my dad, and I figured seeing them for two months once a year was not enough anymore.
I kind of missed living in a small town too.
I was a little apprehensive about living with my dad, but I figured it would be fine—after all, we'd managed during the summer months before—after a few weeks of adjustment.
I frowned a little when my dad didn't respond to my text, unsure of where I was supposed to wait for him—it wasn't like the airport in Seattle was that big, but it was bigger than Port Angeles, where I'd usually fly to, where he'd always picked me up. Unfortunately, there was a storm brooding over Port Angeles, and all flights in that direction had been cancelled—I'd considered waiting to fly up until the storm had cleared, but dad had ensured me that he didn't mind driving a few hours to pick me up in Seattle instead.
I sighed and shoved my phone back in my pocket, running my fingers through my hair distractedly as I concentrated on not tripping over my own two feet. The arrival hall wasn't that large, and I pouted a little bit when I didn't see my dad immediately, reaching for my phone again to call him when a loud, enthusiastic and completely unexpected voice called out my name.
I froze, eyes wide, as I tried to process what hearing his voice meant.
Surely he wouldn't be here?
Slowly, I turned around, unable to stop the huge grin from spreading across my face as I spotted Jacob—my Jake—waving at me like an idiot. He looked so good—he was taller, and God, my memories did not do him justice.
Jacob was really, really hot.
Not that I hadn't always thought he was handsome, but hell…
Jacob had really grown up in the year and a half that we had been apart.
"Jacob!" I was absolutely horrified by the screech that fell from my lips, but it didn't seem to bother Jake too much—he hopped over the barriers and ran towards me, sweeping me up in his arms for one of those warm bear hugs that I had missed so much.
My entire body relaxed into his embrace, my arms winding around his neck as he held me tight. "Jake," I sighed happily into his warm skin, my fingers curling into the soft hair at the back of his neck, "I missed you." It was true—I had missed Jake. He was my best friend, and much as I liked Arizona, it didn't hold a candle to Forks, simply because I didn't have my best friend (and maybe-kinda-sorta-boyfriend) there.
"I missed you too, Bells," he whispered back, his arms tightening around me.
I had no idea how long we stood there, wrapped around each other in the middle of the airport—I'm sure people were staring, but I honestly couldn't bring myself to care—, but when we did finally break apart, I took my time to appraise the boy (man) standing before me.
"You're huge," I exclaimed, "When the hell did you get so big, Jake?"
He grinned boyishly and rubbed the back of his neck, a soft blush staining his russet skin. "It's not a big deal, Bells," he mumbles, "I guess I just got hit by a grow spurt."
"Not a big deal?" I raised an eyebrow at him and grinned, "You're at least a foot taller than me now, Jake. That is a pretty big deal if you ever want to kiss me again—you'll get back problems having to bend over the whole time."
My words seemed to hit him at the same time they hit me, and I blushed furiously, averting my eyes from Jake's all-too-smug smirk, deciding that studying the tips of Jake's shoes was a far more interesting and safer enterprise than looking at his face.
Clearly, looking at his face made my brain-to-mouth filter malfunction.
I hummed softly, not taking my eyes off the tips of his boots, not quite ready to face him again after putting my foot in my mouth—jeez, we hadn't talked about that night since it happened, probably for a reason, why, why would I bring it up now? I heard Jacob chuckle and jumped when his fingers suddenly touched my jaw, gently forcing me to look up at him. His eyes were beautiful and dark and sparkling with mirth.
"Bells," he whispered softly—and no, my heart did not skip a beat, thank you very much—his fingertips leaving a burning trail on my cheek, "I don't mind back problems if it means I get to kiss you again."
My breath hitched and I shifted closer to him—honestly, I'd been referring to him as my kind-of-sort-of boyfriend since long before we slept together and I knew that our only excuse for not trying had disappeared when I decided to move back to Forks—, curling my fingers in the front of his shirt.
"Oh," I breathed—yes, I got an A in every single English paper because I was so damn eloquent when it came to important things—, swallowing thickly.
"Yeah," Jake grinned, "Oh." He glanced down, and I swear to God I could feel my lips tingle under his intense gaze, before abruptly returning his eyes to mine. "We should go, Bells. I do not want to have this conversation in the airport of all places."
I wanted to protest—hell, I didn't want to talk at all, I just wanted him to shut up and kiss me again—but then I remembered what I had been wondering earlier and blurted, "Yeah, hey, speaking off… Where's my dad? I thought he was picking me up." Jake grinned cheekily at me—that grin did things to me, I was tingling all over—and shrugged.
"He was called in. There was a huge pile up in town and he needed to be there, so he asked me to come pick you up." He tapped my nose playfully and added, "We didn't think you'd mind."
I couldn't stop the smile from spreading on my lips—Jake's smile usually did that to me—and nodded. "I don't mind," I smiled, allowing Jake to take my bag from me as he reached for my hand with his free one.
I was well aware that we'd have a lot to talk about on the drive back to Forks—like the fact that we had slept together a year and a half ago and I left two days later and we never spoke of it again—and that maybe holding hands and flirting and nearly kissing my best friend was not the smartest thing to do, but I just… I didn't want to stop.
Being with Jacob had always been as easy as breathing.
When I actually managed to shut my overly active brain off for two minutes, Jake and I always had fun, and we were never awkward.
Not even when our dads would gang up on us and show us baby pictures or regale everyone who was listening with tales of our antics as children—for one, Jake and I had decided, at the age of five and six, that we would get married, so that I could stay in Forks with him and dad.
I remembered that day.
It was a bittersweet memory—I loved remembering how pure and sweet my love for Jake had been then, but it also hurt to remember that when I told my mom I wanted to stay, that I was going to marry Jacob so it would be okay for me to stay, she laughed at me and told me that I would get over it, that there would be more boys in Arizona who could be my new Jacob.
Of course there never was a new Jacob—there had only ever been my Jacob.
I sighed and shook my head, tugging Jake's arm around my shoulder and snuggling into his side as we walked out of the airport.
I grinned when Jake tossed my bag onto the backseat of his orange Chevy truck—I loved that truck, had since the first time I saw it back when Billy bought it when Jake and I were kids—as I leaned against the driver's seat door.
Jacob slammed the door and turned towards me, mirroring my position as he leaned against it.
"So…" He drawled, reaching out to take one of my hands in his—huge—hands. "Should we… Talk when we get home? Or now? When we're driving? I don't know, I just—" He shuffled a little, his eyes looking everywhere but mine, and I knew I shouldn't think that he was adorable when he was nervous and trying to ask me if I still felt more than friendship for him, but he really was cute.
"Jake," I smiled a little and took a small step forward, tiptoeing to press a kiss to his cheek, "My feelings haven't changed at all. You know I love you."
His answering smile was bright and beautiful and so inherently Jake, and my breath hitched when he tilted his head closer, our faces now so close together that our noses brush against each other and our breaths mingled. "I'm going to kiss you now," he breathed, his fingers brushing over the skin on the nape of my neck, curling into my messy hair, "if you're okay with that."
I had some trouble thinking for a moment, because he was so close and he was warm and he smelled really good, and why were we still talking?
"Yeah," I managed to choke in response, "Yeah, I'm really okay with that."
I couldn't tell which one of us moved first. My fingers curled in his shirt, pulling him closer as he pulled me up, our lips meeting in the middle, both of us holding our breaths as our lips finally, finally, after a far-too-long separation, meet.
I sighed involuntarily, my lips parting beneath his warm, soft lips, willingly allowing him to pull me up and closer—I was pretty sure my feet were dangling above the ground, so I wrapped my legs around his waist, smiling into the kiss when he groans—and to deepen the kiss. I couldn't help but marvel over the the feeling of his fingers sliding over my scalp, leaving tingles in their wake, as he twined his fingers in my hair, my knees feeling very weak all of a sudden.
If Jake hadn't been holding me, I was sure I would have fallen over.
I'd forgotten how incredibly soft his lips were, and I shivered as his tongue slid out to caress mine—he tasted absolutely delicious, and I forgot how to breathe for a moment or two.
Unfortunately, the need for air became too pressing, too urgent, too soon, and I couldn't help but whine under my breath when he broke the kiss. My head is spinning and my lips are tingling deliciously where his were still brushing against mine. "Shit Bella," he swore softly, and I swore I'd never heard him—or anyone—say my name like that before.
Like I was the most precious creature he had ever encountered.
He sounded thoroughly awed—and I had to say, the feeling was more than mutual.
I couldn't believe how good kissing Jake had felt—my memories of the night we had spent together before I'd left again had not done him any justice. If he could make me feel like this with just a kiss, I couldn't wait to see what he'd manage when we had some more… alone time.
My eyes fluttered open slowly, lazily, and I tightened my grip on him, so he couldn't leave—so he couldn't set me down on her own two feet just yet.
I didn't want this moment to end.
Even if we somehow wouldn't end up together—and that seemed completely impossible at that moment—I would never be able to forget how completely perfect that kiss was. Jacob slid his fingers down from where they were tangled in my wavy locks, over my cheek, his thumb lingering on my—kiss-swollen—bottom lip. "We should stop," he whispered, "Before we… I mean… We have a long drive ahead of us and—"
My eyes fluttered closed for a brief moment, resting my forehead against his as I nodded slowly.
"Yeah," I breathed, "I know. I know." Reluctantly, I loosened my grip on his shirt and unwound my legs from around his waist, pouting a little at how shaky my legs were.
Jacob noticed—of course he did—and gave me a smug kind of grin that made me want to slap—or kiss—it off his face. "Let's go home, Bells," he grinned, leaning in to press one more chaste kiss against my lips.
"Home sounds good," I sighed happily, crawling into the truck and buckling myself in.
Home—Forks—sounded really good.