AN: It starts happy and then goes a little bit dark. Just like that year for Juvia.
Gray couldn't put a finger when it happened, when she became more than just his friend (has she ever been 'just' anything?), but before he knew, she was the one who kept him sane.
And he had no idea when it started.
Maybe it was when he saw her laughing with Cana at the Fantasia parade. Or when they ate Caramades Franks together. Maybe even when Ultear tried to kill her. Or when Lyon hit on her.
But definitely by the time she defeated Keith.
So, when she told him (yes, told him, not asked) that she was going with him in his journey to learn more about END, he didn't hesitate to accept her offer. Perhaps he was afraid of being alone, but he couldn't see his path without her, not anymore.
So, Gray Fullbuster and Juvia Lockser started their journey together.
The first time they kissed, it was after a nightmare, and, surprisingly, not his.
Fall into a routine was easy between traveling, training and resting. In less than a month they had reached the abandoned city – it was nice to have the place for themselves to train with no prying eyes – and they developed a whole new bond after sparring with each other every day for hours.
On their 43rd night traveling, Gray and Juvia went to sleep in their bed (they argued for a long time the first night to settle the sleeping arrangements until they agreed the bed was big enough for both of them) when he woke up to get some water and a soft whimper made him look to where Juvia was.
Gray recognized the clear signs that she was having a nightmare by the way her head was thrashing and the way she was frowning, he sat and gently shook her by the shoulder. "Juvia." When she didn't open her eyes, he called her again and a little louder and the blunette opened her eyes, and looked around, confused. "Hey, it's okay. It was a nightmare."
Her eyes got wide as she focused her blue eyes on him and Gray frowned; how come she didn't recognize him?
"Father?" Juvia whispered, obviously surprised to see him.
"No, it's Gray." He saw her relax immediately and couldn't help but to feel a little warmer inside of how much she trusted him.
"Sorry." Juvia sighed and sat, a hand pressed against her forehead. "Did Juvia wake you?"
"Nah, I was going to drink some water and I heard you." Gray explained. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"Juvia doesn't want to burden you." The Water Mage whispered. "It's fine."
"Come on." Gray bumped his shoulder on hers in an amicable way. "Let me help you out."
Juvia sighed and looked to him for a few moments before talking again. "It was about Keith. and… Silver-sama." It was as if Gray already expected her to say those words because he just kept staring at her, not surprised, after all, she had almost died defeating the Necromancer and it was pretty traumatizing. Plus, she called him 'Father' when she woke up and it was what she had called Silver when they communicated. "Juvia defeated Keith, but Silver-sama turned on me, he said that Juvia killed him, that she hurt you." Her eyes watered. "He blamed me." The blunette whispered.
"Hey." Gray put an arm around her and she leaned on him. "You know this is not true. My dad was the one who asked you to do it."
"I know." Juvia whispered, leaning into his warmth even more. "But it doesn't make the guilt go away."
"Yeah." Gray agreed, resting his chin on top of her head. "It's the same with me."
"Maybe it's better this way." She whispered. "If we feel bad, it means that we didn't lose our humanity, no matter what happened."
'It's too fucking early for this.' Gray thought, but decided against saying it out loud, choosing to change the subject a little. "I have them too."
"Juvia knows." She shrugged and he frowned in confusion. "Juvia calms you down some times."
"You do?" The Ice Mage was genuinely surprised.
"Everyone has demons." Juvia looked up, resting her chin on his chest.
Gray stared at her eyes for a few moments. "I'm sorry you have the same one as me."
With a shy smile, the blunette said: "Juvia doesn't mind sharing a bit of the burden."
It was as if some switch turned on inside him when the words left Juvia's mouth, because a moment later, his lips were on hers. She had been his rock during the past month, supporting him and pulling up when he was feeling down, hearing his rants about destroying END and training with him. She had been more than sharing the burden, she had been the only thing that kept him sane.
The moment their lips touched something inside Gray just calmed in relief. Her lips were so soft and perfect against his, the side of her body pressed against his felt so amazing that there was nowhere else he'd rather be than kissing her.
It was a sweet brush of their mouths, as if it were the most natural thing in the world for them to be sharing that moment. As if they were puzzle pieces getting together. As if there were never a choice. As if it couldn't be in any other way.
"Can I be honest?" Gray said once their lips parted and he rested his forehead on hers.
"Yes." Juvia sighed, content.
The Ice Mage smirked. "I thought this would happen in a different way."
"Me too." She giggled. "I'm glad it did, though. This way or any other way."
"Yeah." Gray gently pushed her back to the mattress. "Go to sleep. I'll be here."
"Thank you." Juvia let him lay her down.
"You don't ever need to thank me for trying to keep you safe."
Even with the new found intimacy, the couple didn't stray from their original objective reserving most of their days to training. The bright part, though, was that with the physical part of their relationship being explored, their nights were much more interesting,
Weirdly enough, they were happy.
As it turned out, Gray liked kissing her. He liked touching her and had absolutely no objection if she wanted to reciprocate (she always did). They didn't take further than some above-the-clothes petting and even if they slept on the same bed, their snuggling was very platonic.
One night, though, they had played with the line when Gray put his hand underneath her skirt, on her naked thigh and they froze in place, knowing that they were playing with fire. Gently, Gray released Juvia's thigh and parted from her with a peck on her lips before lying back down to his side of the mattress.
An uncomfortable silence fell over them.
"Have you ever… before?" By her tone Gray knew that she hated asking if he ever were with another woman, but he couldn't lie to her.
"Yes." The Ice Mage turned his head to stare at the blunette. "I was fifteen when I had my first time. There were some girls later, but nothing that lasted."
Juvia tried to keep her face expressionless. "Oh."
"How about you?" He extended the question to her even though he already knew the answer.
"Yes." She said, color rising to her cheek and Gray blinked two times before the simple word finally sink in.
"What? With whom?" A positive answer had not been what he expected. Not at all.
"Juvia's first boyfriend." The Water Mage replied. "Juvia was seventeen."
Gray was having a hard time assimilating the words. It was reasonable enough that she had dated someone enough and that she had been intimate with him, but somehow, the thought of Juvia with someone before him didn't make sense.
But then again, what did he know about her life before Fairy Tail? She knew pretty much every dirty detail from his life: all his fears and pain. She met everyone he considered family, she met his actual family, she knew all of his friends and what did he know about her? She was an orphan, there were no friends as she grew up because they thought she brought rain and Master Jose had extended an invitation to Phantom when he saw how powerful she was.
Other than that, Gray didn't know much about her past.
"You had a boyfriend when you were seventeen." Gray repeated the information slowly.
"Bora-kun was very good with words, especially to a seventeen-year-old girl that never had a friend, much less a romantic interest." Juvia explained to the Ice Mage with a sad smile. "Juvia thought he was the one." Irrational jealousy boiled unexpectedly in Gray's stomach and he tried his best to keep it down. "He clearly wasn't, or he wouldn't have had dumped Juvia after a month."
Gray thought about how he didn't know about her history before Fairy Tail and, even if it made him grit his teeth, he pushed the subject. "Why only a month?"
"Juvia's rain bothered him." The blunette shrugged trying to sound nonchalant about it, but Gray saw the hurt in her eyes. "Plus, he just couldn't accept that she was stronger than he is. Bora-kun was kind of weak, really."
"I see." Gray was processing the information slowly and something in his tone probably betrayed him, because a moment later, Juvia was sitting on their bad with a panicked expression.
"Oh, Gray-sama thinks Juvia is easy now that she told you?" The blunette put a hand over her mouth in horror. "She is not! It had been him and only him. And Juvia only let him because she thought she was in love, even though that wasn't even close to the real deal." Gray tried to speak, but she didn't let him. "It wasn't even good and it we only did it…. I don't know. Four times, perhaps?"
"Juvia…" He managed to say before she cut him.
"Oh, dear. Juvia should've waited and said 'no', but she thought he loved her. I thought I loved him!" Juvia passed a hand through her hair in disbelief. "This is disastrous! What Gray-sama must think about me now?" She gasped.
"Juvia, calm down." Gray finally sat as well. "It's okay, I don't think anything bad about you."
"I don't. It's fine, I was just surprised. You never talked about him before."
Juvia stared at him in confusion. "Bringing up an ex-boyfriend to the guy a girl is interested is not exactly the best romantic technique."
"Touché." He couldn't help but to grin at her words. "What this means is that we need to talk more about your life before Fairy Tail. You know everything about me, it's fair that I have some ammunition as well."
"What do you want to know?" Juvia asked after a few minutes pondering his words.
"Whatever you want to tell me."
"Still waters run deep, you know?" She smiled sadly.
"Are you meaning to say that this" he waved in her general direction "is 'still waters'? You are more like a whirlpool." Gray tried to lighten the mood and grinned when she giggled.
Juvia told him about discovering that rained all the time because of her. She told him the day she moved water by herself. She told him about mastering her powers on her own. She told him the way she felt when no one got closer to her. She told him about a lost puppy she played with when she was ten. She talked about all the what and whatnots of her life.
He listened (asked the right questions with impeccable timing) and drank every word coming out of her mouth. Even though Gray knew what was in Juvia's core, he enjoyed listening what made Juvia, Juvia.
The sun was coming up when they fell asleep, twined together.
Every other week Gray and Juvia hiked to the nearest village to get supplies or try to get short missions to gather some money. By coincidence, one of those visits happened the same day the spring festival was being held at said village and Juvia's eyes sparkled with all the flowers in display. In all honesty, even Gray was pleasantly surprised with the beautiful set up.
So, when Juvia turned in his direction with puppy dog eyes, asking if they could stay for a little while, Gray didn't have the heart to tell her no and just grunted an answer, earning an excited shriek and a kiss on his cheek.
During the next couple of hours, Juvia had dragged him to almost every booth set on the main street buying what they need and some more plus looking at everything with such excitement that Gray couldn't help but to be glad she was having fun.
"Your hair is so pretty!" The couple turned around just to see a little girl in pigtails. "I never saw someone with blue hair before!"
Juvia smiled and leaned down. "Thank you."
"Can I touch it?" The girl asked, eager and when Juvia nodded, she reached for it, eyes bulging in admiration when she touched the lock of hair. "Wow. This is so cool!" After a moment, she called two more girls that were nearby and they were also admiring the blue curls of Juvia's hair.
"I'm going to the store to get the rest." Gray informed Juvia, who looked over her shoulder with a smile. "It won't take long."
"Go. Juvia will be here." The blunette's attention returned to the little girls as Gray walked towards one of the stores.
Twenty minutes later, Gray's backpack was filled with their supplies and, once returning to where he left Juvia, he was confused when he didn't see her anywhere. An old woman, seeing his eyes seeking for the known shade of blue, informed with a smile that his girl was by the fountain with the children. Blushing, Gray thanked her and walked to the middle of the square.
He was actually surprised to see about fifteen children around Juvia – who was seated by the fountain's edge, twirling water up and about – while the one who appeared the oldest of the children posse did something with the blunette's hair. The children gasped and cheered when Juvia's magic made the water take all kinds of shape.
"Having fun?" Gray asked, amused, when he got closer to the group.
"Yes." Juvia grinned, his heart warmed at the sight.
"I hate to tell you this, but we have to go." The Ice Mage pointed with his chin to the setting sun. "It's a long walk back home."
"Oh. Okay." Juvia returned the water to the fountain and the kids complained. "Sorry, it's time for Juvia to go home."
"When will you come back?" One of them asked.
"Can you teach me to be a mage?"
"I want to be a Mage too!"
Soon, all of the kids were talking excitedly and Gray couldn't understand what they said. He put two fingers inside his mouth and whistled loudly, getting the children's attention without fail. "Alright, listen up: we'll be back in about two weeks, you can" he tried to find the right word for it "play together again then. Now we have to go home, otherwise we'll have to walk close to that mountain" Gray pointed to his left side "at night and I would rather not have to."
The children seemed to ponder his words for a bit, before nodding.
"Are you her boyfriend?" A little girl with golden curls asked and the other girls giggled, while the boys looked bored.
"Yes." It was Gray's instant answer – it surprised him, after all, they hadn't talk about what they were to each other. "Now go to your parents. You shouldn't be talking to strangers in the first place."
Moaning and groaning the children dispersed after waving good-byes and saying happy 'see you soon' to the blunette, who was staring at Gray with wide eyes, and he knew why.
"What? You wanted me to tell our history to define what we have to a bunch of children? That would take about three hours and a box of tissues. And we would traumatize them for life. It was easier this way."
"Our history is not…" He stared at her pointedly and she caved in. "Okay, so maybe it is… unusual." Gray snorted and noticed that her hair was now in some kind of braid.
"What's going on with your hair?"
"Hm?" Juvia asked, distracted and touched the braid. "Oh, Hana asked Juvia to do it and I didn't mind. How is it?" The blunette turned around so Gray could see it better and he was impressed with the kid's handiwork. In contrast with Juvia's blue locks – which were now in a French braid – the girl had put pink, yellow and violet small flowers all over.
"It's very nice." Gray admitted. "Maybe we can find some mirrors so you can see it better before we leave."
"Okay!" Juvia turned back around. "Let's go."
Gray nodded and they took six steps when the high beat song started to play and Juvia immediately turned around, curious and Gray watched as her expression turned from curiosity to excited. He also saw when she shook her head slightly before resuming her way.
The Ice Mage stared at his somewhat-girlfriend's back for a moment before sigh in resignation. He was such a weak bastard when it came to humor her that it was ridiculous. Gray called her name and the blunette stopped walking and looked over her shoulder in confusion.
Gray put his backpack on the ground before pointing to where people was gathering to hear the band better. "We can stay an hour more. You wanted to participate, come on. We can't leave without at least one dance."
He was certain that she was beaming at him before she run to him, wrap her arms around his shoulders and kiss him soundly on the lips. "Thank you."
That night, Gray danced with her even if he didn't know the steps, but her smiles were worth the times he felt embarrassed, he decided. Juvia swirled, laughed, and if he hadn't been in love before, he certainly was at that moment.
They ended up going home when the sun was high in the sky, hands together and matching smiles.
A month later, they were even more comfortable with each other in pretty much every aspect there was. Their teamwork had improved, their non-oral communication and their relationship in a whole.
Gray lied her down, not breaking the kiss, settling his weight on her as the blunette opened her legs so he could rest his hips on top of hers. Juvia sighed happily when he started to kiss her jaw, trailing towards her neck and Gray smirked on her skin – he liked to hear her, he found out once they reached the hard-make-out-session stage of their relationship and did more than just kiss.
Juvia put her hands on his hair when he nipped a particular place on her neck that he knew she loved and when he heard her gasp, Gray reached for the back of her thigh to pull her closer to him and neither could suppress their moans. Their groins touched and he caressed her thigh before returning to kiss her mouth.
It was easily the best part of his day: return to their house after they trained so he could kiss her for a while before they went to sleep curled around each other.
Even in his lusted-mind Gray knew Juvia was going to stop him anytime (that was the further they went) by putting a hand over his chest and pushing him slightly, telling him she was sorry. He would roll his eyes, tell her she was a fool if she thought he was mad at her, he would give her a peck on the lips and rolled to her side before pulling her to his arms so they could talk for a little while and then go to sleep.
They talked about taking the next step and Juvia emphasized that even though she really wanted him, she was afraid of rushing into things just like she did with Bora and Gray understood, not pushing the subject any more than necessary.
After a couple of minutes more, Gray gathered all his strength and stopped kissing the blunette. They were both out of breath and he rested his forehead on hers, their breaths mingling. He gave her a peck on the lips before releasing her thigh and rolling to lie by her side.
He closed his eyes and began to think of the most disgusting things so his painful erection could go away at least a little bit so he could try to get some sleep even when there was an incredibly beautiful woman lying next to him.
"I trained next to the river today." Gray told her, eyes still closed. "I know you like it, but I kind of froze the whole thing. Sorry. I'll melt it down for you tomorrow; I just want to know how long my ice holds." He felt Juvia move next to him and he opened one eye to see her seated. "Juvia?"
The blunette looked over her shoulder with a nervous smile that made him frown; the Ice Mage was about to ask her what was happening when he saw her reach for her belt and his breath got caught on his throat as he watched her pull it and put on the side of their sleeping bag.
Juvia, then, turned back once again and Gray couldn't see exactly what she was doing, but he certainly hoped that she would undress herself so they could sleep – he had seen her naked before when he had peeked her taking a bath before and after they started living together, but never so close.
After a few moments, he saw her open her dress and push the sleeves off her arms and the fabric pooled by the sides of her hips and Gray took in a sharp breath when he saw her uncovered fair skin. When she looked over her shoulder once more, Gray met her eyes and was afraid of moving and breaking the spell.
Juvia bit her lower lip in apprehension before covering her chest with her arm and then lie down next to him and Gray found out that he couldn't move a muscle so he let her lay her head on his chest, her naked breasts pressing on his ribcage as she put her arm over his torso.
"Juvia…" Gray found his voice a few moments later and it was barely a whisper when she started to kiss his neck. "Wha… what are you doing?"
"Well…" The blunette said between kisses. "Since you stopped, Juvia is trying to seduce you."
Oh, she did not need to seduce him at all. "Juvia." He tried (very weakly) to talk to her, but her kisses and hand roaming his chest were quite distracting, but when her hand went too further south, Gray grabbed it before it could reach the bulge on his pants. "Juvia, wait a second."
"You… don't want to…?" Juvia whispered and Gray could feel her retreating to her mind o overanalyze his reaction.
"I do. Trust me, I do. Very much so." Gray reassured her quickly and with a pained laugh, before she could panic. "But I have to make sure that you want to..." He trailed off, his cheeks getting warmer even as he fought his embarrassment and excitement. "I don't want you to regret it." He said pointedly, because, as girly as it sounded, he wanted it to be special. Juvia deserved special.
Juvia's cheeks turned pink, but she nodded, certainty in his eyes. "Juvia is sure." She touched his cheek, kissed him on the lips and Gray didn't hold back: he rolled them over, so he was once more on top of her and when the Ice Mage's hands touched her bare breast for the first time, Gray groaned in pleasure and so did she.
Her skin was so soft and warm that Gray's mind went blank when he reached for her thigh to pull her closer – just like he had done it not too long before – and that time all that stood between them was their underwear and it did little to hid both of their states of arousal.
"Juvia thought you didn't want her anymore." The blunette breathed when Gray started to kiss her neck.
Gray couldn't help but to laugh into her skin at the absurdity of her words. "Yeah, it is really difficult to know I want you." He pressed his groin on hers and she held back a moan. "Juvia," he breathed and she focused her eyes on his "just say the word and we can stop anytime."
"Don't you dare." The blunette grinned and pulled him to another bruising kiss
As everything in their relationship, their love-making had been so intense Gray couldn't believe he could share so much with someone without saying a word. Every sigh and moan an incentive to Gray. Every raise of her hips a clue that he was on the right path. The nails digging into the skin of his shoulders, the certainty that she didn't want to be anywhere else other than with him.
After getting rid of her panties, Gray couldn't help but to step back from her and trying his best to burn the sight of her in his memory, because if there were anything more beautiful than Juvia's pink cheeks, lust-hooded eyes and blue hair like a halo, he didn't know what it could be.
She was so beautiful and, not for the first time, Gray wondered why she had chosen him. He was an alright looking guy, he knew that, but he was broken. Utterly broken and most days he didn't even know what glued him together and there was Juvia: bright, beautiful, strong Juvia who fought to be with him, faced death more times than not because of him and even then, she managed to smile and be his rock whenever he felt like falling apart.
He must've taken so long staring at her, because the touch of her hand on his cheek made him snap off of his thoughts and she was staring at him with worry. "Are you alright?"
The humane thing to do was push her away, try his best to make her leave him because sooner or later he was going to hurt her, he was going to be responsible for breaking her also, but Gray was greedy. He knew it was only a matter of time before their bubble of happiness burst and he was going to be greedy, selfish, and take all he could.
"I'm fine." The Ice Mage whispered, kissing her lips once again before getting up from the bed for a moment to take off his underwear; once he was done, Gray returned to his position on top of her. "Are you?"
"Never better." The blunette grinned and Gray felt his heart beat faster with how easy the whole thing had been. He never had been in a relationship when doing this and all his encounters were more lust filled than with tenderness and even awkward at some points.
Not with her. It felt as natural as breathing.
Gray touched her sex, touching and trying to figure out what she liked. He let her moans guide him and soon enough he knew she was ready for him. Removing his finger from between her legs, Gray positioned himself at her entrance and Juvia's breath got caught in her throat just like his were.
Theirs eyes locked and all he could see was lust, trust and love in her deep blue eyes. All the insecurities left him, all the doubt was gone and his world narrowed to the woman underneath him.
Slowly, he pushed inside her without taking his eyes off hers and those seconds were the most intense experience of his life. It wasn't just physical, if ever were.
Once Gray sheathed himself completely inside her, he stopped, giving her time to adjust as she closed her eyes, bit her lower lip and frowned a bit. Gray had to focus all his strength into not to succumb to her heat and tightness, after all, she was clearly uncomfortable.
"Are you okay?" Gray asked in a whisper, his forehead touching hers and his weight mostly supported by his elbows.
"It's been a long time." Juvia whispered back. "Can Juvia take a moment?"
"Yeah." Gray nodded. He was almost going insane with lust, almost begging her to let him move, but he wouldn't, not until she was ready. He could do this for her.
It seemed like an eternity, but Juvia finally moved her hips experimentally and Gray almost came right there. "Juvia." He warned her in a strangled breath.
"It's alright now." The blunette told him and moved her hands from his shoulders to his hips, pulling him closer, both sighing in response.
With a nod, Gray started pulling from her in an agonizing slow pace and sliding in at the same speed, testing if she was really okay with the situation and trying his best to analyze her expression (the best he could while overwhelmed with her heat around him). He guided himself by the way her body reacted to his movements.
His lips found the juncture of her neck and he started to kiss and bite, still moving his hips slowly and Juvia seemed to have found her own, as she met his in the same rhythm as his.
"Juvia won't break." The Water Mage whispered in between a moan and it was what Gray needed to hear.
Picking the pace up, Gray's mouth found Juvia's breast and while her pebbled nipple rolled into his mouth, he tried to move his hips trying to find the best angle for her pleasure and he knew he found it when Juvia let out a high pitched noise and her body arched.
After that, it was all a blur. He thrust into her like he wouldn't see tomorrow, as if she was going to disappear and as if that wasn't their first time together and they already knew the other's body very well.
Juvia moaned, called his name like a prayer and Gray was sure he did the same.
He held back the best he could, tried to prolong the trigger of his release, but she wasn't making it any easier by the way she sounded and felt. "Dammit." Gray cursed when he felt so close he could taste the orgasm coming. "Fuck, Juvia." He slid a hand between them to touch the bundle of nerves in the apex of her thighs and the reaction was instant: she moved more frantically, making their bodies lose the synchrony, but it didn't matter, not anymore, they were already close to the abyss.
Juvia cried out his name when she leaped from the edge and Gray couldn't help but to follow her a moment later, emptying himself inside her with one last harsh thrust before collapsing on top of her, exhausted and completely satisfied.
He had no idea how long he stayed on top of her or how he gathered strength to pull out of her and fall by her side, but he didn't care, not when she snuggled next to him once her breathing turned back to normal, naked, hot and lazily drawing some invisible patterns on his chest.
"Did you imagine this in other circumstances as well?" She asked, throwing a leg above his.
Gray couldn't help but to chuckle, putting an arm around her shoulders so she could have better support. "I like these circumstances just fine." Juvia smiled, nodded and they fell into silence once more.
"Thank you." She told him and Gray frowned in confusion.
"Are you thanking me for the sex? Because I can tell you right now that it was pretty mutual." He raised an eyebrow and the blunette giggled.
"Not that. For being patient."
"Oh." Gray shrugged. "I didn't want you to regret me." It would kill him.
"Never." Juvia said with certainty. "This was the best night of Juvia's life."
"I didn't need the ego boost, but… thanks anyway." Gray looked down to her and kissed her lips softly. "Mine too." Juvia blushed and Gray felt his own cheeks get warmer as well. Apparently after having sex with his somewhat-but-not-really-or-maybe girlfriend, Gray talked feelings.
"We will have to repeat this soon." Juvia said casually and Gray smiled.
Life was good, truly good. But just like always in his life, his luck was running low and he could feel it. He was going to be greedy, selfish and take it all he could. But that was trouble for another time. For the moment, he was content at just lie on their bed with Juvia in his arms and pretend nothing could harm them.
The first time the mark appeared, he had been outside their house and Juvia was collecting his clothes. They had been away from Fairy Tail for six months and he could see her stare at his blackened face and arm with caution.
The first time he blacked out, he was gone for the whole day, no idea where he had been whatsoever. The second time, he went missing for two days and Juvia had almost hit him when he appeared back in their house confused of why she was crying so much her powers went berserk and it was pouring.
He could feel that his mark was getting stronger, some sort of darkness trying to eat his soul and he couldn't help but to think what could happen if he did something to Juvia while he wasn't in control of his body.
"Does it scare you?" Gray asked her one night after dinner and he didn't even need to elaborate more for her to catch his drift.
"You would never scare me." She touched the dark mark on his jaw with tenderness. "If this is a part of you, Juvia is not scared. Concerned? Yes. Scared of you? No."
Gray sighed in relief, he wouldn't bear if she became afraid of him. "I don't know why I got it back. It's been almost seven months since it went away."
"We'll figure it out. Just… don't disappear again." Juvia pleaded and Gray decided not to promise her anything. He needed to control it first.
The third time he blacked out he had woken in the middle of the woods, miles around him frozen and trees on the ground. He stayed away for almost a week and retuning home had been the most difficult thing in his life, because when he did, Juvia was waiting for him, bags under her eyes and the heavy rain was back.
He knew, then, that he needed to leave her, needed to stay away in order to try and not hurt her even more.
Gray always knew it was inevitable, but it didn't make it any easier. She would be safer without him around until he knew exactly what was wrong with him.
The night before he left, Gray kissed her with so much eagerness that Juvia was taken aback for a moment before returning it in kind, opening her mouth to deepen it and the moment she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, Gray hoisted her up by the thighs so she could wrapped her legs around his waist.
With a few steps, they arrived at the bed and Gray spun around and sat on it, Juvia straddling him without breaking their kiss. He reached for her shirt and pulled it over her head, with her help and as soon as the shirt fell on the ground, his lips were on her throat, kissing and sucking the places he knew she liked it.
Juvia, meanwhile, busied herself with gripping his hair tight and rolling her hips on top of his, making both sigh in contentment. Gray released her hips to reach behind her, to undo her bra and Juvia let go of him so she could throw it somewhere on the ground and without losing time, Gray latched his mouth on one breast enthusiastically, earning a moan from the Water Mage.
With the grinding of her hips on the bulge in his pants, Juvia set a sweet friction between them, the room suddenly felt way hotter even if they were just wearing their pants and Juvia's moans were not helping Gray at all.
Gray latched on her other breast and lied her down on the mattress.
He watched as she slept peacefully, naked underneath their blanket and Gray was trying his best to gather his strength to leave their house. Their life together. God, why had he let things go to that point? Why did he let the mere thought of leaving her make him physically ill?
That night, he had gone down on her for so long Juvia begged him to stop. He was trying to memorize her taste. He had taken her so hard in hope to stay like that forever. He had marked her skin with all kinds of love bites and the fresh scratches on his back would remind him of her for a while even after he left through their front door.
"I'm sorry." Gray whispered to a sleeping Juvia before kissing her forehead and grabbing his backpack and some supplies. He tried to convince himself that it was for her own good, that once he had things figured out, he was going to come back to her.
Wishful thinking, perhaps, but that was the plan.
Gray glanced one more time towards her sleeping form before stepping out of their house. He would come back to her. He wouldn't let his darkness win. He was still broken, but less than before. He was still selfish otherwise he wouldn't had started the relationship at all.
It would be the memories they shared for the past seven months living together that would give him strength. It would be the sight of her playing in a fountain with some kids. Would be the way they danced together. The giggle she would let out every time he touched the spot on the top of her ribs. Would be the way she always seemed to know how to make him believe in himself.
He was going to come back to her.
AN: Gray and Juvia at the festival is shamelessly based on the festival scene on Tangled.
I hope you guys like it! This is what happens when I stay up writing until 3 a.m LOL
03/17/2015 ~ BonneyQ