NirCele: Yes, you are crazy. Gothmog? He lives in Barad-Dur.

Phillip Callaway: Yes, that definitely is a complement.

Peredhel: I'll take the mushrooms. MINE!

LOTCR: O_o o_O Now that was a review! I think that's the longest review I've ever gotten! Thx! *hands you a mushroom*

Elektra Elentari: Thanks! :)

freefornow: I saw what you did with those yeses. Lol.

Sixty-Four K: Thanks! That Legolas song...*dies of laughter*

Thranduil's Party Moose VIII: Ikr. Lol. Thrandy's in this chapter! ;)

Thalion Estel: Thank you so much! :)

Guest: Thanks! :)

Just a Reviewer: *cruelly punishes the dwarves*


Thorin, Fili and Kili were in hiding, discussing what should be done next. Thorin thought they should offer Pippin some mushrooms, and then attack him. Fili was of the opinion that they should find out if Merry was still alive, and Kili was debating between the two. They were silently discussing it when Merry, unknown to them, came within earshot. He froze when he heard the dwarven voices.

"I still think we should just trick him into letting us in there." stated Thorin majestically. "Then it would be three against one. Not a problem."

"Darth Vader is in there too." said Fili. "Also, we do not know where Merry is. He could have joined Pippin, although I doubt it."

Merry trembled. Fili did not know how near he was to the truth. He could not decide what he should do. Betray Gandalf and everything he had ever known? Or honour his word to Pippin and join him? The dwarves voices broke into his troubled thoughts.

"...but what if Merry has turned?" Kili was saying. "We must be very careful, especially if Pippin trained him."

Merry finally reached a decision. He leapt out from his hiding place, drawing his lightsaber in an instant and held it inches from Thorin's neck. "You are right, you should be more careful." he said a low voice. "Drop your weapons or he dies." Fili and Kili threw down their lightsabers with grunt of disgust. Pippin reached down and placed them in his belt, and then took Thorin's. "Get ahead of me and walk. One move of resistance and you all will die." The dwarves obeyed, grumbling angrily.

"Traitor!" shouted Thorin. "You are below all insults!"

Merry did not reply.


Meanwhile, Thranduil and his Party Elves were marching on Mordor. Thranduil had the good sense to bring a huge load of mushrooms to offer to Pippin as a fake token of friendship. Legolas had come along even though Thranduil was of the opinion that he did not have near enough fabulousness for such a mission. Thranduil passed the time dancing on his elk, while Legolas feebly tried to imitate him on horseback.

"Ada?" Legolas called.

Thranduil turned with a fabulous hair toss. ""Yes?"

"I believe I could dance far more fabulously if I had an elk to do it on."

Thranduil raised and eyebrow. "Do not speak to me of fabulousness. I know it's awesomeness and glory. But you really think so, come dance on my elk for a few minutes."

Legolas attempted a fabulous leap from his horse to his father's elk. He misjudged where to land, however, and crashed into Thranduil, knocking him to the ground. Legolas laughed and began a dance. Thranduil leapt to his feet. His son really was impossible. He strode to the elk's head and whispered a soft command into it's ear. The elk responded immediately, leaping into a run. Legolas struggling vainly to stay on, but he fell off and rolled up to his father's feet. Thranduil laughed and shouted to his elk to come back. The elk obeyed, and stood next to him, waiting for him to remount. Thranduil leapt up, and continued dancing.

"Legolas!" Thranduil shouted.

"What, Ada?" muttered Legolas, still rather angry over what had happened.

"Get out some kegs of Dorwinion! It's time to PAAAARRRRTTTYYY!"

Legolas rolled his eyes and left to get some. Thranduil practiced his fabulous hair tosses. In a few minutes, Legolas returned. "How are you going to conquer Pippin?" he asked, handing Thranduil his Dorwinion.

"One look at my Fabulousness and he will likely surrender." answered Thranduil confidently. "He will never be able to endure it!"

Legolas looked doubtful.

"DO YOU DOUBT MY FABULOUSNESS?! roared Thranduil fabulously. Legolas hesitated. "My fabulousness will conquer all Dark Lords!" Thranduil continued. "All shall see me and surrender!"

Legolas slowly nodded his head. "I'm sure he will surrender immediately."

Review or Thranduil will take over your home with his pure fabulousness.