Author's Note: I don't know where this came from. Yes, there's a threesome, but ultimately, it is JJ/Hotch. Based on the fact that JLH and AJ Cook are both pregnant, but ignoring Kate's pregnancy reveal on the show and the fact that they don't have the same due dates.

THREESOME OR HOW HOTCH KNOCKED UP TWO AGENTS

"Have you ever had a threesome?"

"Wh- what?" Kate sputtered, nearly spitting her margarita across the table. "JJ, you're drunk."

JJ rolled her eyes and pointed to her half-finished wineglass. "I've had one and a half glasses of wine. That's nowhere near enough to get me drunk." She leaned forward. "I'm just trying to get to know you better."

Frowning, Kate countered, "And you couldn't have started off with my favorite color?"

"Red." JJ laughed when Kate shot her a look. "I am a profiler. So, tell me, have you ever had a threesome?"

"No!" she replied, indignantly. Kate took a sip. "Have- have you?"

JJ licked her lips and nodded. "Oh, yes. A few times. Not with Will, though," JJ clarified, though Kate hadn't expressed any curiosity. "He's asked a couple of times, but I don't know; I'm just not interested in having one with him."

Kate nodded, absently. She focused her eyes on the rest of the bar, hoping to appear nonchalant, even as her brain raced a million miles a minute. She sighed when she realized that JJ was watching her. "What kind of threesomes?"

"You mean like was it two women and one man, two men and me, or three women?" Kate's eyes widened. "I haven't been with all women, although Emily – she was here before Blake – used to try to bring me into her affair with Erin Strauss. Did you know her?"

"Yes!" Kate shouted. "I didn't know she was having an affair with an agent in the BAU."

JJ shrugged. "Actually, she had two: with Emily and with Rossi. And her and Reid had this weird night once at one of Morgan's poker games that got out of control, but we were never quite clear on what exactly happened. And she and Hotch had this weird chemistry at times, but I think that was more on her side. I know for certain that they never slept together."

Kate put her elbows on the table. "How do you know?"

"Because I asked him." JJ took a sip of her wine. "And I always know when Hotch is lying."

"Speaking of weird chemistry," Kate muttered. She waved off JJ's questioning look. "So, which kind of threesome have you had?"

Waggling her eyebrows, JJ shivered. "Both with two women and one man and with two men and just me."

Kate ran her fingers across the exposed skin of her chest. "Anyone I know?"

"Oh, yeah. Once with Hotch, Jordan Todd – she was the woman that took over for me while I was on maternity leave with Henry, and me; once with Hotch, Ashley Seaver – she was the woman who joined the team right after I left for a year, and me; twice with Hotch, Rossi, and me; and a few times with Hotch, his ex-now-deceased-wife, and me."

"J-J," Kate drew out as she reviewed JJ's list, "all of your threesomes have involved Hotch."

JJ hummed in agreement. "Hotch is very, very good."

Shifting in her seat as she felt moisture pool between her legs, Kate pushed further, "But why do all of your threesomes involve Hotch?"

"He was the one that got me into them," JJ stated, plainly. "See, when Rossi first joined the team, there was a bit of friction between him and Hotch."

"Over what?"

Running circles over the table with her index finger, JJ glanced up through her lashes. "Part of it was do to the differences between how the BAU was run when Rossi and Hotch were first on it together and how it's run now."

"And the other part?"

"Rossi may have tossed a few leering glances my way that Hotch didn't appreciate." JJ smirked. "Anyway, Hotch came up with the idea that maybe if we had this threesome that it would create a bond between the three of us and allow any awkwardness to disappear."

Kate no longer hid her intrigue. "And did it work?"

JJ did a little shimmer as she remembered that first time and how beautifully Hotch and Rossi worked together over her skin. "Oh, yes. Our second time was right after I decided to come back to the BAU. There was this lingering uncomfortableness between the three of us because I went to Rossi before I went to Hotch with the news. It really was just a coincidence; I thought it would be Hotch working late when I stopped, but it was Rossi."

"What is with you and H-"

"The threesome," JJ continued, cutting her off, "with Hotch, Jordan, and me was to get him to trust her when she was taking over for me. I did not have a hard time convincing her at all, but that was definitely odd because I was nearly nine months pregnant. It was loads of fun, though."

Kate swallowed the saliva forming in her mouth. "And you, Hotch, and Seaver? How did that come about?"

Biting her bottom lip, JJ suppressed a giggle. They had certainly "come" a lot that night. "Well, Hotch was a bit concerned that Ashley wasn't fitting in well with the team and asked if I would be willing to help them bond. I think she was a little disappointed that I was there, honestly, but she came around."

"Okay, but you and Hotch's wife?" Kate questioned. "His wife?"

"Hotch thought it would make Haley less jealous of our working relationship; mine and Hotch's." JJ made a disdainful face. "It didn't."

Kate played with the rim of her glass. "How did Hotch talk you into doing any of this in the first place? You don't seem like someone who gets easily enticed into situations and this doesn't seem like Hotch at all."

JJ shook her head. "It's not. I mean, he's not, someone that would usually do this. I was the one that talked him into it at first. Well, not the threesome, but-" She took a deep breath to stop her rambling. "When I first joined the team, there was some… resistance from Hotch. I thought it had to do with my age and well, the face that I'm a woman."

"But it didn't?"

"Nope. Turns out that he was majorly attracted to me and felt incredibly guilty about that. Of course, he didn't tell me that until later. So, anyway, I had this real close call with an unsub, like a real close call. I though Hotch was angry with me for putting myself in the situation, but he was actually terrified for me. I went and I told him that we should have sex to get everything out in the open and as a way to connect. The bottle of whiskey that we shared probably aided in the decision."

Reaching across the table, Kate grabbed JJ's hands. "JJ, do you have feelings for Hotch?"

Closing her eyes, briefly, JJ was unable to look directly at Kate when she opened them back up. "I love him; I'm in love with him. But our timing has never been right. So, we grab what we can with these threesomes, and occasional twosomes, but only under extreme duress."

"Why are you telling me all of this?" Kate questioned with a gentle voice.

"I don't know."

Kate's lips curled upward. "Could it maybe be because you're hoping that I'll help you out tonight with Hotch?"

JJ dodged her knowing expression. "Maybe."

"And maybe the reason that you won't have a threesome with Will is because it's your thing with Hotch?" To this, JJ gave a singe terse nod. Kate sat up straighter. "JJ, you know, I've been on this team for a few months now, but I don't really feel as though Hotch trusts me."

"What?" JJ's head flew up.

Kate grinned. "You seem to have a good rapport with him. Is there anyway that you can help me 'bond' with Hotch?"

A slick smile appeared across JJ's face. She stood, tossing money down on the table before pulling up Kate by her hands. "Come on. Let's go."

Giggling, the two skipped from the bar holding hands.