That's A Moray!

Written for Shipping Week on Morsmordre
Prompt: no prompt today!
Pairing: Lucius/Narcissa


It all began when Lucius and his wife were invited to a fancy dinner party. And although Narcissa had warned him not to try the jellied eels, Lucius couldn't resist sampling the gelatinous seafood.

One sample turned into several helpings of pie, mash and eels. Which would have been fine if it weren't for the fact that the eels were past their expiration date. The next thing he knew Lucius was on his knees in the bathroom, heaving the contents of his stomach into the toilet.

"Good heavens, Lucius," said Narcissa, putting an arm around her husband as he slowly got to his feet. "You look positively dreadful."

Lucius was pale and trembling, sweat trickling down his cheeks as he emerged from the bathroom. His insides were churning uncomfortably, and any minute now it felt like he was going to regurgitate what little remained of his meal.

"I... I think I need to lie down," he groaned, slumping sideways against his wife. "I probably contracted food poisoning from those bloody eels."

His wife tried her best to make him comfortable, adding another pillow and tucking the covers under his chin. She then sat down on the side of the bed, stroking his silvery blond hair until he fell asleep.

It wasn't long until the nauseating effects of the spoiled eels began to spill over into his dreams, creating some very bizarre images in his mind.

In his dreams, Lucius saw himself dressed in his finest suit, wearing a top hat and playing the piano. His skin had turned a deep shade of emerald green, and there was a white stripe running vertically across his left cheek. It looked like he was wearing a roll of spellotape over his left eye like a monocle. Either that or someone had stuck an oversized Lifesaver to his face.

He began to sing. And yes, you guessed it. His song was about eels.

"Eels up inside ya
Findin' an entrance where they can
Eels up inside ya
Findin' an entrance where they can
Boring through your mind, through your tummy, through your anus
Eels!"

A man behind him was playing the drums, while another man beside him was playing an electric keyboard. Lucius had his own band, playing music while he sung his ode to eels.

Psychedelic colors began to flash and swirl all around them, while neon eels floated past in the air. Lucius then grabbed his walking stick and began twirling it like a baton, dancing and kicking up his heels as he continued to sing.

"I was obsolete
I couldn't hear the beat
Staggerin' around on me old man's feet
I had one foot in the grave
But now I'm new rave
It's a mash up
Pie and mash up
Eels up inside ya
Findin' an entrance where they can."

He spun around in a circle, his walking stick glowing and flashing with every color of the rainbow. The music grew louder and he started the song all over again, only this time he was joined by a team of eels, each one a different color, bobbing and swaying in time with the music.

Lucius awoke with a start from his bizzare dream. His stomach was cramping, and the last of his dinner was rising into the back of his throat. He threw the covers off and made a mad dash to the bathroom.

'Never again,' he thought. 'I will never, ever eat eels again.'