Disclaimer: I own nothing.

This is a silly little one-shot not to be taken seriously. Characters purposely act OOC. I don't think this is how they would seriously react to this situation. Rated for language and sexual propositioning. Also, accidentally heavy on Will/Chad but I promise it's not in a romantic way.

Will Horton awoke with a deep throbbing pain in his shoulder. Eyes fluttering lazily, Will took in his surroundings: a clinical looking white room. White walls, white carpet, white furniture and white bedding. Will immediately took note of his baby daughter Arianna sleeping soundly on the bed next to him. Briefly checking over his daughter Will realized not a single hair was out of place. Will's chest tightened in panic, 'Where the hell are we?'

Attempting to rise from the bed Will groaned in discomfort. His shoulder ached horribly. Bracing himself Will pushed against the bed and walked to the lone mirror hanging on the wall. His appearance alarmed him. Pale skin, deep shadows under his eyes, and scruff adorning his cheeks. 'I must have lost a few days at least,' Will thought in horror, fingertips trembling as he touched his face.

Hesitantly, Will turned around. Lowering his shirt Will could easily see the dark bruise on his left shoulder. Moving in closer Will saw a deep mark, most likely from a needle. With a creeping suspicion clawing at his throat Will spun away from the mirror.

The room they were in was small with only a double bed, a white dresser, the mirror, and a nightstand. Slowly walking to the door opposite him Will startled when it easily opened at his touch. Sighing deeply, Will walked back to the bed, carefully gathered Ari in his arms and slowly crept out the door.

The same stark white walls greeted him in a long hallway. Will encountered many doors, all locked but for one leading to a simple bathroom. Moving on, the hallway veered to the right before opening into a large room. Couches outlined the room with bookcases pressed against the walls. The biggest TV Will had ever seen hung above a fireplace.

Thinking they were alone, Will startled and jumped when a voice from behind him yelled out, "Will!"

Turning to the voice Will was shocked to see his old friend Chad Dimera rushing out of a kitchen. Chad's long arms gathered Will to his chest desperately. "Oh God, I was alone for so long here. I can't believe someone is finally with me," Chad rushed out, smile splitting his face open.

Will's neck began to hurt from craning up to look at Chad, 'Damn giant.'

"Where are we Chad? What is this place," Will questioned quietly, Ari snuggled up in his arms. Chad guided him to the couches.

Scratching the back of his neck Chad looked at Will imploringly, "You have to know I had no idea that this would happen."

"What Chad," Will demanded. Gently setting Ari down on a nearby sofa, Will lined pillows around her so she couldn't roll off.

"I don't know where but I know who took us. There can only be one person," Chad admitted somewhere between long-suffering and apprehensive.

Will threw himself on the couch. He knew already, of course he knew, "Your father. Stefano."

"That's not the worst of it, Will," Chad said glad Will didn't seem to be holding his father against him. Then again Will knew all about being judged upon by your parent's actions. "Watch this."

Chad grabbed the remote off the side of the couch and turned on the giant TV. There in front of Will's face was Horton Town Square. When no one seemed to be stopping the screen changed to the Brady Pub. There the screen froze before focusing on Hope and Jennifer. Will could clearly hear their entire conversation. Horrified he watched on as the scene shifted again to the hospital.

Looking back at Chad with his mouth open the two locked eyes, understanding passing between them.

Ari was coloring and babbling quietly on the floor in the front room. There seemed to be a plethora of coloring books and toys for her in the house. Will was at least grateful for that. He adjusted his position on the couch, swatting Chad's hands away from the popcorn bowl. Watching Sonny on the TV always made Will's chest ache. Seeing the fake Will next to him just made him roll his eyes.

'I never realized Sonny was so stupid,' Will thought bluntly. How his boyfriend thought that guy was him he would never understand. They looked nothing alike. Plus, that baby looked nothing like Ari!

"I'm beginning to wonder if being business partners with Sonny was a smart choice," Chad commented with a mouthful of popcorn.

"Tell me about it. I thought I was the dumb one but wow," Will agreed shaking his head.

When the scene on the TV shifted Will almost chocked on his popcorn, hearing someone call out Chad's name. Just then a male appeared on their TV answering to the name, "Who the hell is that?"

"What the fuck," Chad screamed, popcorn flying everywhere as he overturned the bowl.

Will glared at him and checked that Ari was coloring and not paying attention to Uncle Chad. "Guess I'm not the only one with a mediocre replacement."

"Are the people in this town actually imbeciles? When we get out of this place we're testing the drinking water. There's no way a whole town could be this idiotic," Chad ranted while pacing back and forth.

Scratching his ear, Will mused, "I'm kind of disappointed in Stefano. Usually your family gets lookalikes that are more realistic than this. Remember the fake Rafe? Quite frankly I'm a bit offended."

Chad shook his head sadly, "Old man must be losing his edge."

"What? No! I would not say yes to Sonny! I'm way too young to get married. Say no, Will," Will argued with the TV. Throwing his popcorn at the screen when the fake him said yes, Will groaned.

Chad chuckled, "Well that should have been a big clue that wasn't you. With the amount of times your mom's been hitched there's no way you'd say yes this young."

"Ugh. Quit ruining my life," Will yelled at the TV.

Chad patted him on the back, "There, there little buddy."

"Does no one notice that I've suddenly turned into EJ," Chad questioned. "I liked it better when I only had to see Fake Will ruin your life. And I would not be screwing my friends over and listening to my father so easily. It's like no one knows who I am."

"It's not so fun watching the other shoe drop is it," Will said smartly. He hardly felt concerned for Chad when his own boyfriend couldn't even tell him apart from literally a random stranger.

"Oh shut up. You're married to a moron," Chad said heatedly, arms crossing his chest.

One morning Will and Chad were sitting on the floor playing with Ari. The two were arguing over who could build the best tower with Ari's blocks. Ari, annoyed she wasn't the focus of their attention, knocked both their towers over with a smirk. 'Take that.'

Before Will or Chad had a chance to complain they heard footsteps down the hall. Pulling Ari behind him quickly, Will shouted out in surprise, "Justin! What are you doing here?"

Looking around the room at Will, Ari, Chad, and at the TV, Justin sighed, grabbing the bridge of his nose, "Let me guess. We've been kidnapped by Stefano and we're trapped watching the happenings of Salem with no means of escape."


"Pretty much."

"Uh huh, Gampa."

"Geez, Chad is so annoying. Am I that annoying," Chad asked, tossing his Barbie doll on the floor in frustration.

"A little bit," Will admitted, brushing his Barbie's hair.

"Oh shut up both of you. At least you've got replacements. I'm literally missing and no one seems to notice," Justin said in exasperation.

Ari grabbed her Barbie's out of her Daddy's and Grandpa's hands, snatching the one off the floor and flouncing off to her room.

"I'm just saying Will; you're gay and I'm horny. It makes perfect sense," Chad whined to Will.

"How many times do I have to tell you no, Chad? I'm not a sex toy," Will said in a bored voice.

"Oh, come on," Chad shouted, throwing his arms up and walking away.

Yelling at Chad's retreating figure, "I liked you better when we were fighting over a girl!"

"Why the hell do so many people talk to themselves in Salem," Justin mused out loud.

"I never noticed while in town but it's true," Chad commented, nodding his head.

"How is the Salem P.D. so useless? Set up a camera in Horton Town Square and all crimes would be solved within a day," Will agreed. Realizing half of the police force was related to him Will thought, 'God my family members are dumb.'

Ari, proudly wearing Chad's shoes, Will's shirt, and Justin's tie, twirled around the front room. Once again a figure appeared from the hallway.

"What in blazes is going on here," the distinct, British accent of EJ Dimera commanded.

"Welcome home big brother," Chad shouted in greeting, pleased his brother was there. 'If EJ's here nothing really bad can happen to us.'

Ari sighed in frustration, twirling harder until she stomped on everyone's feet, forcing them to look at her sweet and angelic smile.

"I would never sleep with that twit," EJ thundered, stomping around the room. Vein in his neck bulging as he glanced back at the television.

"My mom is so going to kill you," Will said, covering Ari's eyes from the horror on the TV screen. He cringed away from EJ, remembering none too fondly how often EJ would smack him around when he was in a mood, 'At least there's no fancy leather folders to hit me with now.'

"At least Father got you a doppelganger," Chad pouted jealous of their father's favoritism rather than his ex-girlfriend sleeping with his brother.

"How do they not care that I'm missing," Justin marveled again, head shaking dejectedly.

"In what universe would I air my mom's dirty laundry? Why would I want everyone to know about this? I would never embarrass her that way," Will argued hotly, annoyed yet again that stupid Fake Will was ruining everything.

"It's alright William. We all know the truth. You'd do anything to protect her. Hell you even shot me in the back for her, remember," EJ comforted, putting his arm around Will.

"That's true," Will sighed feeling slightly better. Enjoying the heartfelt moment with his pseudo-father Will didn't even notice Chad leaning on the couch behind them.

"How many people do you think Ari is going to shoot? With you and Gabi as parents it's practically genetic," Chad noted, scratching his chin.

"Hopefully it's you," Will muttered, face buried in EJ's chest.

"How could Father let this happen," EJ raged. "How can my double be dead?"

Everyone had been on edge since it happened, horrified that something like this could even really happen. Did the murderer know EJ wasn't real? Or was it a tragic coincidence? Did those even exist in Salem?

Watching his mother break down over the fake EJ's body, Will frowned, "I'm starting to think Stefano had nothing to do with this one."

Ari squealed happily from the front room while the rest of the household was in the kitchen preparing breakfast.

"Ari," A feminine voice shouted in shock, several younger voices joining in.

EJ immediately dropped his knife he was holding before running into the room. Sweeping the fiery blond he loved into his arms he whispered her name over and over, "Samantha." He almost welcomed the familiar sensation of her slapping him round the face.

Will watched his fake self on the screen in bed with Paul, "I am so disturbed right now."

Chad watched the scene with a little bit too much interest for Will's liking.

"Don't even say it, "Will grumbled before walking away.

'I'm never getting laid again,' Chad lamented.

"What the hell," Will, Justin, and Sami yelled in unison, staring at Lucas and Adrienne on the screen.

"That bitch," Sami growled, defensive over her old friend.

"And she always gave me grief about Mom's failed relationships," Will said in disbelief.

"How does no one notice I'm missing," Justin asked, wide eyed.

"Will this might not be a good time but…" Chad began, arm smoothly wrapping around Will's shoulders. Before he could finish Sami leaned over and punched him hard in the arm.

Watching Sonny and Paul with distaste, Will forced his eyes away from the TV. 'I'm starting to think he was the one replaced with an imposter.' Everyone was gathered around the TV while the children were in one of the bedrooms playing. Shivering in disgust at his idiot boyfriend or husband or whatever Sonny was to Will now, he turned towards Justin as he spoke.

"So, if Stefano didn't do this than who did," Justin asked, face a little green from watching his son with that man on screen.

"It has to be someone who wanted to destroy a lot of lives," Chad said, bitter Sonny had someone to get off with and he did not.

"But again, if it's not Father than who else," EJ countered. EJ was quite satisfied with his life, Samantha and all of their children and grandchildren by his side. "Also, William, if we ever leave this place you aren't going anywhere near that man again."

Sami interjected, "Only a Dimera could have the means and motive to do this. Maybe it was a different one."

"Maybe it was Kristen," Will suggested. "Taking Chad would hurt their Father and EJ. Taking Ari and I would hurt Mom and Sonny plus the rest of my family. Taking Justin would hurt the Kiriakis family. Taking EJ hurt mom and the kids. Everyone's lives have been messed up and for no apparent reason."

Justin elaborated, "Plus, no one even knows that we're gone. So it would have to be a pretty private revenge."

"That does seem like Kristen's style. Chaos for no real purpose," Chad agreed, "But she would probably throw a party to let everyone know what she did. Silence and subtlety is not her forte."

"I'm still amazed no one even noticed we were replaced," EJ wondered, "But it could be possible."

"I keep telling you they're very convincing," Sami defended; still miffed she didn't notice her son and lover were switched with imposters.

"Mom, that guy looks nothing like me," Will said dully.

"Well I think Chad's idea about the water must be right. Now when I see them I can tell they're not real but in person I had no idea," Sami insisted, grabbing Will's hand tightly.

"But what is Kristen's plan? Just leave us here forever and destroy our lives without anyone even knowing," Justin questioned.

"Um, didn't Andre take over Tony's life for decades," Chad commented with trepidation.

"Well," EJ sighed, "Maybe we're better off here."

Everyone stared at him in silence.

"I'm just saying nothing bad has happened to us here. My family is all here. The dangers of Salem are behind us but we can still see what's happening in town," EJ continued. "Do we really want to go back to that mess?"

Justin thought about his wife and Lucas. The confusion his son created with his love life. Plus, the indignation he felt over no one searching for him when he was gone.

Sami curled up in EJ's arms. She thought about her children and grandchild growing up here without any of Salem's influences. Not to mention her head really did feel clearer now that she was here.

Will thought about Sonny. His Sonny seemed so far removed from the one he sees on the TV each day. He knew if he went back it would be hard for them to get passed what happened. Could Sonny forgive Will for what the fake him did? Could Will forgive Sonny for not realizing he had been replaced? And what about Paul?

It seemed everyone had reached the same unspoken agreement.

Finally breaking the silence, "If we're sticking here, Will, I'm sorry but I'm going to have to fuck you," Chad said in a no nonsense tone.

Will sighed deeply and rolled his eyes.

The End.

Authors note:

Does anyone remember Justin is missing? Will Ari ever get the attention she's craving? Does Will give in to Chad? What exactly is in the Salem water supply? Who kidnapped everyone? Has anyone checked to see if the front door is unlocked?

I don't intend to write anymore of this so feel free to come up with your own ideas.

As an attempt to explain the changes in Will and Chad's characters since they recast them I went to an old soap opera standby. If anyone in Salem starts acting OOC it usually means they've been replaced with an imposter.

Please review and let me know what you thought. Did I actually succeed at making this funny? Was it horrible? Good or bad let me know.

For anyone that's curious I'm working on an AU fic and yes, this time Sonny is in it.