The Order

By: Lauren Freeman

Summary: The school must set aside there rivalry to fight a common enemy...Cornelius Fudge?!?

A/N: This is my first humorous fic. Wish me luck!:0)

Beta Reader: Kitty Daykin - Thank you SO much! :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters; I am getting no money for this story.

The Order

By: Lauren Freeman

"Harry's not going to like this," Ron mumbled as he and Hermione stepped onto Platform 9 and 3/4. She was looking as though she could start to cry at any minute, and hotly replied:

"Harry's not going to like this, I am hating this! Fudge is going to ruin the school."

"What has Fudge done now, and what does it have to do with the school?" Harry asked, meeting them on the other side of the barrier.

"Harry! How was your summer, mate?" Ron asked, with a fake smile.

"Same as always. You're stalling." Harry grinned back.

"It's horrible, Harry. He fired Dumbledore, said he was losing his mind, because of Dumbledore claiming that You-Know-Who is back and all."

"He did what?!? What is this world coming to? Somebody needs to put that man in his place, forget Voldemort, we're going after Fudge," Harry whispered, as soon as he got on the train. Hermione quickly placed the silencing spell on their cabin so that know one could listen in.

"Harry! Don't talk like that, what if someone heard you! We do need to get Dumbledore back though, or we have no chance against You-Know-Who."

"VOLDEMORT! His name is Voldemort!" Harry yelled. His two companions grimaced.

"Okay, Voldemort. So what is the plan?" Ron asked.

"Well, we need to get the whole school together on this one, house rivalries would only make things harder."

"Of course getting houses together could be hard," Ron stated.

"Only Slytherin," Hermione corrected, "We should start an Order."

"Yes! Perfect, what should we call it?" Ron asked.

"Well since we are trying to get Dumbledore back... how about The Order of the Phoenix?" Harry asked.

"Great, now we need to recruit members. Let's go from carriage to car, and get members. We will have our first meeting later," Hermione commanded, standing up. Harry and Ron followed her out of the car.

Two hours later found everyone except for most of the Slytherins in the order. Hermione had thought up a spell that would make a charmed parchment paper into a sort of on-line chat room. Everyone could talk to each other by writing on the parchment. All members had one, and it was charmed so that non-members could not read it.

HarryP - I now call this first meeting, of the Order of Phoenix to order. Welcome everyone.

HermioneG - As was explained, the purpose of the order is to get Dumbledore back.

RonW - We will do whatever necessary to get him back.

HarryP - Any ideas on how to start?

TerryB - We should convince him that Voldemort is back.

ChoC - Yes, but we can't let him know that it's us doing the convincing or he will have know problems expelling us.

HarryP - Okay Project Voldy has started, this could be a long project, we need some smaller projects in the meantime.

FredW - What about Practical Jokes on him, make it so that he doesn't want to be at Hogwarts?

GeorgeW - Yeah, we have some great jokes that can't be traced back to anyone!

RonW - I love it, imagine the look on Fudge's face when his salt explodes!

HermioneG - Alright, Project Joke will start us off.

HarryP - Okay, Before we go any further, we need committees, mainly security. If Fudge or a teacher gets wind and comes to investigate, we need people in all houses to be able to get around making sure the teachers find nothing!

HermioneG - Volunteers?


Fudge had already fired Hagrid and was working on Snape. Classes had to be taught a certain way and everyone hated it. As agreed upon, the Order members pulled out their charmed parchment and got ready for their second meeting as a whole. Pranks had been planned and the next day they would be pulling off their first one. The brightest kids in the school had checked it over to make sure it was untraceable and if you looked hard enough you'd fine the clues they had left to show that the whole school had done it. Last minute plans and ideas were made and soon the Joke committee was sent into action.

The group, consisting of Harry, Fred, George, Terry, Susan, and Draco, sneaked down to the Great Hall, with the help of the Marauders' Map. Susan stood at the door, holding the map and watching for danger, while the rest walked up to the head table and glued all of the plates, silverware, napkins, and cups to the table. They then charmed it so that only they could let it loose, they then charm the chair so that once Fudge sat down, he could not get back up. Trying not to laugh too hard, the group hurried back to their common rooms.

The next morning, the entire school got to breakfast early and were just in time to see Fudge sit down in his seat. The entire school was now in the order; after the first week even the Slytherins found that they couldn't stand the man. The teachers had their chairs as far as they could from the new headmasters. The students had a feeling that if they did not get rid of Fudge soon, they would be out some good teachers as well. Everyone kept one eye on Fudge as he ordered his food, a huge grin crossed Fudges face at the sight of it. Everyone had to keep from laughing out loud as the grin turned into a frown, as Fudge tried to pick up his silverware. A loud growl from the head table gave everyone an excuse to look at him directly. The students couldn't keep it in any longer; the entire Great Hall burst into laughter as they watched the Minister of Magic try and lift his bowl, then his napkin, then his cup. Harry carefully swished his wand as the minister was pulling at his cup. The cup came loose, and the liquid in the cup flew out of his cup and all over his face. The students started laughing even harder. The headmaster looked furious and pounded both fists on the table causing the room to go quiet. The silence did not last for long however when Fudge tried to get up. The teachers had their hands over their mouths and everyone could tell they were also laughing. Fudge looked like he was ready to kill, quickly pulling out his wand and starting to cast spells to get himself loose. McGonagall got up and tried to help him, but to no avail. Draco carefully cast the spell that would let Fudge loose. The man jumped, knocking his chair backwards and himself with it. By this point the students were rolling on the ground. Seeing that their enemy was free, everyone quickly gathered their things and walked swiftly out of the room. When Fudge was finally up again the room was empty. Growling, Fudge stomped towards his quarters.

"A man like that doesn't deserves the name Fudge," Ron mumbled, "I mean Fudge is a type of chocolate, which is great! That man is anything but."

"If you think about it though, Fudge is also a word to take the place of a certain curse word," Harry said.

"Hey, you're right, good thinking," Ron smirked. "Did you see Fudge's face? That was priceless, I loved every minute of it."

Hermione didn't say anything but only grinned, as they walked to their first period class.

The only thing anyone talked about for the next two weeks was the prank. Fudge had done his investigation, but as planned had found nothing. The order had been sending anonymous owls to Fudge stating facts that proved Voldemort was back, but he just rolled his eyes, and threw them away. Meanwhile the Order was planning their next prank.

HarryP - It's been two weeks since our first prank, any ideas for the second one?

Adams - Did we get any of the house elfs to join our Order?

HermioneG - Yes, we have Dobby, and Winkie, and a few others. They don't like Fudge either, but many don't want to take the chance of losing there jobs.

RonW - I can understand that.

FredW - What if we had the elfs shrink the Minister's clothing a tiny bit every day.

GeorgeW - He will think he's is gaining a massive amount of weight!

FredW - Then in a couple of weeks, we can start to do the opposite and make it look like he has lost weight!

DracoM - Bloody Brilliant.

FredW - Thank you!

GeorgeW - Thank you!

HarryP - Dobby, are you here?

DobbyE - Dobby is here, sir.

HarryP - Do you think you could do it?

DobbyE - Dobby can sir, and Dobby can make it so that he cannot adjust or have his clothes adjusted by anybody but the house elfs.

HarryP - You're a great friend, Dobby. Thank you!

DobbyE - Oh, Dobby is welcome! Harry Potter is a great friend.

JenaT - Hey guys, the Project Voldy committee, has an idea. What if we anonymously started leaking information to the Daily Prophet about Voldemort being?

FrankZ - Where are we going to get our information?

HarryP - We need solid proof.

WinkyE - I can get you proof, sir!

RonW - How?

WinkyE - The house elfs have to clean that mess Fudge calls an office. He is constantly receiving up-dates on the latest Death Eaters attacks. Winky can copy these, before she throws the originals away, sir.

JenaT - Great, place them in my trunk, our group will go through them, and send what we need to the Prophet, then we'll give it to the security committee rid of the evidence.

HarryP - You have a go! Keep us up-dated. Dobby and Winky you two have your missions, whatever you do don't be seen.

A week later, the school could see the strain of the two tight clothes on Fudge. He was constantly sitting up straight, and always looked uncomfortable. He looked to be eating less and less. The day was Monday, and the Order had sent off its first article to the Daily Prophet the day before. They had made the article untraceable and had signed it, The Order of the Phoenix. The school couldn't wait for the mail to come, to find out if the newspaper had printed their article. Finally it came and the look of pure fury on Fudge's face was enough to know that the article had in fact been printed. The school was very cheerful for the rest of the day. A week later, Fudge could barley walk, and was always angry, for despite how many letters and threats he sent to the newspaper the articles kept popping up. Two weeks after that, Fudges clothes were so baggy on him that he kept tripping over them, causing up-roars of laughter wherever he went.

HarryP - Well the last two weeks have been incredibly eventful, great job everyone!

RonW - The clothes prank has been finished, and tomorrow Fudges clothes will back to normal. We need a new prank.

HermioneG - Also, the news articles are doing a great job. Word from the outside say's that the public is not panicking to badly and is starting to take processions.

AdamS - Word also has it, that they are incredibly angry at Fudge, and he may get kicked out of office, which would mean he would get kicked out of our school!

DracoM - I have a prank, let's make Fudges hair fall out.

FredW - Whoa, evil...I love it!

GeorgeW - So do I!

HarryP - How?

HermioneG - We should not use the house elfs for this one, they may be suspects our last prank.

GinnyW - What about a spell?

RonW - Or a potion.

TinaQ - DYE! Place parchment clothes dye in the shower picket, so that it sprays out when he takes a shower dyeing him and his hair a certain colour. He will obviously change himself back to normal colour, then we do it again the next day, this will cause his hair to fall out.

RonW - But where are we going to get the DYE?

HermioneG - Leave that to me, my mum swears by the stuff, I will ask her to send me a couple of bottles.

HarryP - Great, we will have another meeting as soon as the package comes in.


HarryP - Okay, how are we going to get the dye into the picket?

RonW - Well, we could use the invisibility cloak, and the Marauders' Map.

FredW - The map should tell us the password to get into the office.

AbigailJ - What about the paintings?

GerorgeW - Can they see through invisibility cloaks?

HarryP - No, they can't - well at least the fat lady can't. She is always trying to figure out who is sneaking out.

FredW - Then that problem is solved.

GinnyW - Someone should be in there to get a picture.

RonW - Wicked! That could be used for later pranks, plus he'll think that we did it in the first place for the picture and won't be expecting us to do it again, the very next day.

DracoM - Who's going to go in?

HarryP - I will, Dobby what time does Fudge usually take a shower?

DobbyE - Ten-Thirty, every night, sir.

HarryP - Good, we start tomorrow. Everyone eat fast and leave five minutes after Fudge arrives for dinner, since he is always late for that meal. If only a few people leave early, he will have some one to suspect. So I need someone to be my lookout, who volunteers?

GinnyW - I'll do it.

HarryP - Great, tomorrow after dinner Ginny and I will go up to Fudges bathroom and add the dye, that night at ten twenty-five, I will head back up there alone, with a camera...need a camera.

ColinC - You can use mine!

HarryP - Thanks Colin. Okay I will go up with the camera, as soon as the water comes on I will snap a picture, and run for my life. The next day I will do the something, only I will only go up there that night to make sure it works.

Ten minutes after Fudge walked in to the Great Hall, one by one the students started to make there way out. Ron, Hermione, Ginny and Harry left after half the school was already gone. When they got to the point where Harry and Ginny would have to go separate ways from the others, they said their goodbyes, and quickly stepped into a classroom to put on the invisibility cloak. Watching the Marauders' Map to make sure they did not run into any teachers, the two made it to the headmaster's chambers.

Harry placed the water picket back on with a smile. He quickly got back under his cloak and ran back into the hall where the waiting Ginny stood, pacing impatiently. Jumping under the cloak, Ginny grinned.

"Just in time, he's on his way now." They quickly ran towards the Gryffindor chambers. After making the last turn they took the invisibility cloak off and hid it in Harry's bag, then walked the rest of the way. When they walked into the common room, they found all of Gryffindor waiting for them.

"So, did you do it?" A first year asked.

"Was there any doubt?" Harry grinned. Everyone cheered, and Harry went up to his dorm room to nervously wait.

Later that night, Harry placed Colin's camera around his neck, and after receiving a bunch of good lucks, he put on his invisibility cloak and looked down at his map. Quietly making his way around the school, he looked up at the imposing door that led in to Fudge's chambers. Taking a deep breath, he whispered the password and the door opened. Quietly stepping in, he made no noise as he shut the door and walked into the bathroom. Harry stood in a corner, and shielded his eyes as Fudge walked in and started to undress as he whistled an improvised tune. As soon as Fudge entered the shower Harry stepped over to the curtain and opened the corner just enough to get the camera in. The shower turned on and Harry snapped his picture before running like he had never run before. Behind him he could hear a scream that would have made the mandrakes proud. Exiting the chamber, Harry didn't stop running until he was through his own common room doors, taking the invisibility cloak off. Harry grinned at the many faces staring at him.

"Did you hear him yell?" Harry asked, passing the camera to Colin, who went to immediately start developing it. Once again, everyone cheered. "When should that be ready?" Harry asked Colin.

"Less then an hour." Colin grinned, then disappeared from sight.

True to his word, Colin ran out with a large grin. He went to Harry first, since he took the picture. The picture was an amazing one. It showed from the waist up. Fudge was completely purple, and had a look of pure shock and horror all over his face.

"Perfect! I need a team to make at least two hundred copies of this," Harry announced, passing the picture around. Five hands were quickly raised; the group went to work with the picture, after everyone got to see it. "Alright parchment meeting in ten minutes, those of you making copies, you can finish after the meeting." Harry ran up to his room, tapped his parchment, and gave the key word that would make all the Orders parchments in the school glow, telling the members that a meeting was about to start.

HarryP - Part one is done! The plan worked with out a hitch, he has been dyed, and we have a beautiful picture, which is being copied. I need a team to secretly post them all over the school. You CANNOT be seen posting them!

GinnyW - I will.

SusanB - So will I.

TerryB - Me too.

AnaF - Me too.

LaurenF- Count me in!

HarryP - I will post some.

RonW - Yeah, me too.

DracoM - If it means being one of the first to see it, you can count me in.

JenaT - I will post some, and send one to the Daily Prophet.

MyaK - Me too.

HarryP - Great! I will collect the pictures tonight, and hand each of you twenty. Make sure at least fifteen of those get posted, somewhere in the school. The rest feel free to give away, to friends around the school, family, newspapers, tabloids. We are so mean!

HermioneG - The pictures should all be posted before Harry goes up tomorrow. Perhaps we should go post some tonight, so that he sees it first thing in the morning.

RonW - Brilliant, Harry and I can use the cloak and map to get around and post ours.

HarryP - Right, then in the morning at six am everyone else who are posting pictures, come and see me in greenhouse one, to get your pictures.

Everyone agreed.

By lunch that afternoon, all the pictures were posted...everywhere. Fudges face turned from pink to read, and was now a dark purple colour. Every time Fudge tore a picture down, a new one would take its place. To say the man was furious would not do justice. After giving the school a lecture that lasted two hours that morning, cutting in to classes, he had been rendered so mad he could not speak right, and had gone to silently glaring daggers at anyone who came into his view. Dinner that next night was just like the night before, Harry found Fudge had chanced his password but had had no trouble getting in. This time he put green dye in the picket, and had just gotten out the door, and Ginny into the cloak when Fudge rounded the corner, growling loudly. Harry and Ginny held their breath, as Fudge practically yelled his password before going in. Harry grinned at Ginny and they made there way back to the common room. That night Harry sat in a chair in the room, until he heard the failure scream. He did not make it out the door however, because Fudge was suddenly storming around the room in rage, and nothing else. Harry slipped into a closet, and sat down in a corner, as he watched Fudge running around the room looking for his wand. Harry noticed it on the floor right in front of him. Quickly picking it up hi carefully placed it right outside the closet door, before slipping back down to the ground. Fudge appeared in front of him, completely green. He was about to walk into the closet when he saw it and backed out. Harry let his breath go, and watched Fudge storm back into the bathroom. Harry quickly got back up and ran out of the room, he ran straight to his common room, where he slid down the wall just inside of the common room.

"What happened?" Ron asked.

"It worked, but I was really close to getting caught." Harry grinned.

The next day, Fudge didn't even come out for the entire day. The day after however Fudge did show up, and this time he was completely bold. The entire school was once again in an uproar. Fudge, stood up, with a look of fury.

"Shut up, you stupid brats!" The hall fell quiet. You will all be happy to know that I will be handing this-this school back to Dumbledore, today by lunch. I never want to see any of you again!" With that, Fudge left breakfast. The room cheered, as soon as he was out the door. Everyone couldn't wait for lunch, finally it came, everyone's smile faded however at seeing Dumbledore's stern look.

"Students, it pains me to see how you treated, Fudge while he was headmaster. That was very rude, and unbecoming...therefore we shall be having a party tonight." Dumbledore's frown turned to a grin. Everyone cheered, until McGonagall tapped her glass to get everyone's attention. "I suppose that the Order of the Phoenix is here in this school, can all members stand up?" Every student stood up. This made Dumbledore smile even bigger. "Ah, it's nice to see the houses set aside their house rivalries to get something done. Now who started this Order?" Everyone sat down except Harry, Ron and Hermione and everyone pointed at them.

"Thanks guys," Harry grinned.

"Ah, the three of you are to see me in my office after lunch, so that you can tell me everything. Classes our dismissed for the rest of the day." With that Dumbledore clapped his hands and a large feast appeared. Yes, it was good to have their headmaster back.