So I thought of this, and couldn't put it down, so I decided to post it. Don't you just love funny one-shots? I do. Here's one. (At least I hope it's funny:) another note, This is in the young justice universe because I couldn't find the justice league universe thing. Anyways, on with the story.
"Don't be silly."
"No I'm serious! Think about it! Batman is always so dark and mysterious, and Broody and, and-"
"Flash, Batman is not a Vampire." Green Lantern rolled his eyes.
"Do vampires even exist?" Hawkgirl asked.
"Yes! Batman told me he fought Dracula last Halloween!" Flash waved his arms in exclamation.
"Dracula? How did that happen? I thought he Was a myth." Wonder Woman shrugged.
"I don't know, something about some bad dudes accidentally resurrected him." Flash sighed.
"Hmp. Well even if Vampires exist, Batman isn't one." Wonder Woman crossed her arms.
"He is! Think about. Dracula Probably wanted Batman to join him, and when he said no, Dracula bit him!"
"Batman wouldn't just let Dracula bite him." Superman frowned.
"Yes but Vampires are really strong and fast, so I don't think bats could of stood a chance."
"Flash, he's Batman. I'm sure he could of outwitted him somehow." GL told him.
"I know, of course bats defeated him in the end, but not before biting him!"
"You can't even prove Batman's a vampire I bet." Hawkgirl picked at her nails.
"Can too! Remember when Batman teamed up with Superman in Metropolis? He kept complaining it was to bright and kept hiding behind his cape!"
"That's because the it's a lot Darker in Gotham, and he wasn't used to it." Superman reasoned.
"And what about how he vanishes? And how a swarm of bats is always nearby him? And how he's able to stay awake for so long and how he like always survives everything and-"
"If Batman was a vampire, wouldn't he have to drink blood?" Wonder Woman interrupted.
"Yes! He like always has blood on his mouth! Like he just drank some!"
"That's probably his blood."
"Then how do you explain he fact that Wayne Enterprises owns the biggest blood bank in Gotham?"
"It's a charity thing. That's what he does." Wonder Woman said knowingly.
"And Vampires are immortal, so it would explain how he knows so much stuff, cause he's been around for so long."
"He's probably really smart because he took the time to study."
"Hmp. Who does that anymore?"
"Don't vampires have sharp teeth? Not that Batman smiles a lot it's just that, when he does open his mouth, no vampire teeth." Hawkgirl raised an eyebrow.
"They're retractable, duh."
"I think Flash may be on to something..." GL trailed off.
"Don't tell me you believe in this nonsense." Superman crossed his arms.
"Not entirely, we have to have actual proof of course."
"Vampires don't like garlic! We could like, throw some at him and see what happens."
"Now that garlic thing could be just a myth. But vampires don't like sunlight, that's for sure." GL told him.
"That's it! All we gotta do is Superman has to ask Batman to team up in metropolis again, and it has to be a garlic villain!"
"Yeah, but nobody is dumb enough to be a garlic themed villain." Superman rolled his eyes.
"Oh yeah. So what? We go with plan b and throw garlic at him?"
"And shine bright lights in the room at the same time."
"Then we'll know for sure." Flash grinned.
"Know what for sure?"
"Batman! Uh, nothing! Nothing at all! What are you doing here?"
"It's my watchtower." (Well he paid for it.)
"Oh, right." Flash scratched the back of his head nervously.
Batman looked/Batglared at him.
"You know what...I'm gonna go!" Flash nervously smiled ran behind the exit door, peeking behind it.
"Batman." Wonder Woman acknowledged. All that nonsense flash was talking about, was silly.
"We haven't had any alerts lately. And the fate of the world hasn't been threatened in a while." Superman informed him. Batman didn't answer.
"Things have been kinda quiet lately, haven they?" Hawkgirl yawned.
"What about Gotham Batman? Have things been quiet over there?" Wonder Woman asked, hoping to get a conversation out of him.
"Things are never quiet in Gotham." Batman answered gruffly.
Wonder Woman frowned. Just as the computer sounded a red alert, in Gotham. He jinxed it. She smirked at the thought.
Batman quickly pulled up the news to see what was happening.
"I'm reporting live from is under an attack, by Vampires! We don't know when or who started it, but if you can, stay inside and away from them!" The reported announced.
Batman growled, and mumbled something about vampires.
"Do you know anything about this Batman?" Wonder Woman asked hopefully.
"You could say that. I can take care of this. It's my problem, and my city." Batman pulled out his BatJet remote.
"What do you mean by your problem?" GL asked curiously.
"I know exactly who's doing this. This isn't the first time I've had a run in with him." Batman told them as he fast walked out.
"See?! I told you!" Flash zoomed back in.
"What?" Hawkgirl crossed her arms.
"How do think Batman is gonna save an entire city from becoming Vampire City? He's a vampire himself!" Flash smirked.
"Okay, I'm sold. Batman's a vampire." Superman announced.
"Yes! See the man of steel agrees with me!" Flash smiled.
"Okay, so If he's a vampire, how does he cope in the sunlight when he's not being Batman?" GL asked the smirking Flash.
"Bruce Wayne is rarely ever seen in the day time!"
"Oooh yeah...okay I'm sold too." GL enjoyed seeing the look on the girls faces when he said that.
"You two can't be serious!" Hawkgirl rolled her eyes.
"This is madness. Batman is not a...a.." Wonder Woman widened her eyes.
Wonder Woman pointed to the screen behind them, showing the Gotham News.
"Batman has saved the day again! In record time too! How he did it, we don't know. But what we do know, is Batman's our hero today." The reported smiled. Suddenly the reporter disappeared from the screen.
"Batman? Your back already?" Hawkgirl raised an eyebrow.
"I had to stop and change my suit." Batman told them. Nobody noticed the small smile hidden on his face when he said it.
"Why?" Flash asked curiously.
"It had two holes in it."
You know what they say, curiosity killed the cat. Poor flash. Lol. Inspired by the fact that bats does act like a vampire, and he became one for one episode of Batman Brave and the bold. Just so you know, Batman made the two holes thing up, because of course he knew what they were taking about, and wanted to scare flash out of his mind, which he did successfully. You know why? Cause he's BATMAN.