A/N: It's taken long enough but I have finally embarked onto a journey into writing Harry Potter, after spending a long time reading it. This is going to be quite different from my Wicked fics.
Focused on an original character (Eventually, very Sev-Centric early on) but most major canon ones will appear. Also going to try to be reasonably plausible in terms of canon, but not canon. I also have an unhealthy bias for Slytherin.
If I get things wrong, please tell me. Also please bear with me and review xx
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine, recognizeable characters and content not mine. All credit J.K Rowling. Etc etc. I don't like these things and will do a proper one on my profile at some point in the near future.
More importantly, in future chapters I have created a mental link between Severus and another character. The idea of the mental link is shamelessly stolen (with permission) from the illustrious and magnificent corvusdraconis. All credit goes to Corvus' incredible mind for that one.
Chapter now updated thanks to the amazing Beta work of Corvusdraconis who's skill and patience is unrivalled. Massive thanks to Corvus, for making my chapter readable :)
I also promise to not have A/N this long in future.
A/N: (5-5-2015) vampirela69 pointed out a canonical error in that I got Lily's birthday wrong. As such the story has been changed now relying on the wizarding world's archaic pureblood views and that women shouldn't have a child out of wedlock
Prologue: February 7th, 1977
The orange hues of the sky reflected off the crimson waves of Lily's hair. Severus found himself entranced as he watched her walk slowly across the grass towards him.
Her caution was palpable in the slowness of her gait. She walked as though the ground had hidden dangers that she could sense but not see. Her eyes flicked from looking straight ahead to looking down and then to the side as if someone or something could appear at any moment and attack her.
It pained him to see the hurt he had caused her displayed so clearly on her face and in her demeanor. He clenched his fist as his arms dangled almost helplessly at his sides. It took a great deal of control to keep from damning all self-restraint and just running to her.
"I didn't think you would come," he stated quietly as she closed the gap between them. She was closer to him now than she had been in all the time after he had said the word that had broken them apart.
"I wasn't going to," she admitted, her breath huffing in the coldness of the encroaching night. "I didn't think I could bear to give you a chance."
"What changed your mind?" Severus asked softly. He had prayed every minute of every hour since their confrontation outside the portal into the Gryffindor Common Room that she would forgive him. He had prayed to gods he barely remembered the names of for the forgiveness he could not give himself.
"I'm not sure," Lily said, her teeth worrying on her bottom lip. "Why did you invite me here?" She watched him in silence as he seemed to be gathering his thoughts or his willpower to regain the power of speech.
"I know you are with Potter now," he said softly, restraining his tone for her benefit alone, "and I want you to be happy. But, I need you to know that I love you. I will not get between you, but I," he trailed off, looking skyward for some sort of guidance. "I wanted you to know," he finished in a rush.
"I loved you too, for a while, I think," Lily confessed into the darkening sky, "but you changed, and I don't know if you are still there inside the person you've become."
"Lily," he said in a choked voice. He took her hand in his and clasped it with a desperation that filled his normally emotionless eyes.
Much to his bewilderment, she did not pull away. Even as she tolerated his touch, there was conflict in her eyes. It ran across the surface of her green eyes like ants scurrying to save their nest from exposure to the elements.
"I need you to prove to me you're still in there, Sev," she said, her voice faltering and breaking at the same time. She looked down to her feet.
Hesitant, and perhaps scared, Severus stepped closer to her, enveloping the witch in his arms, their bodies colliding like opposing waves in the ocean.
"Thank you, Severus," Lily said, pulling away from Severus as they lay entwined on the ground. She was pulling her clothing back on in hasty scoops of her arms.
Severus, feeling even more vulnerable after their union, reached for her. His fingers brushed against the skin of her arm. "For what?" he asked.
Lily stood up and moved away from him, jerking her arm out of the way of his touch. "I didn't wish to go to James inexperienced. You were the only person with the immorality to do it for me. Goodbye, Severus."
Dumbfounded, Severus froze in place as he watched her leave. Despair filled him as surely as the hope had only minutes before that Lily had at last forgiven him. A moaning sound was all around him, and he vaguely realized that it was coming from his throat. He doubled over, pressed his forehead to the ground and screamed. His voice was desperate in his agony. It was like the cry of a wounded or dying animal whose leg was caught in a trap. After minutes or hours, he looked up, and his eyes were dead, black pools of nothingness.
October 31st, 1977
Aged roof tiles were no defence against the wind, and they were certainly not proof against the gusts on Halloween in tandem with the combined malicious spirits of the dead. The winds attack the roof tiles on Spinner's End mercilessly.
Severus stood in the centre of the house, his face and mind utterly blank. No one else in the house moved. His mother was dead in her bed exactly where his father had left her. His father, Tobias, had stumbled out of the house drunk on beer and death. Severus, deprived of the only soul that had ever truly cared for him, prayed that Tobias would never return. He hoped that in his drunken state his father would simply walk into traffic, stumble down a cliff, or simply stop breathing.
There was a knock on the door that startled him out of his reverie if only for a moment. He shambled towards the door like a zombie, one foot slowly and deliberately planted in front of the other.
"Professors?" Severus managed to articulate, shaking himself into a more presentable demeanour. Seeing Minerva McGonagall and Albus Dumbledore on his doorstep was enough to spur some semblance of action out of him.
Minerva seemed to be holding something. Her expression was grave, and Severus had absolutely no idea why either of them were at his door.
"Mr. Snape," Dumbledore addressed him without precursor. "Are your parent's home?"
Severus froze in place, staring somewhat wide eyed.
"Severus," McGonagall started to say hesitantly, "are you quite alright?" She stared at him with concern. Something flickered across her face as she realized that whatever Severus was going through, he was far from what was considered "okay."
The witch and wizard stared silently as Severus mustered up the inclination and will to admit them into the house.
"What can I do for you at this hour, professors?" he said without inflection.
"As I understand it Mr Snape, you are 17," Albus said in an official tone. "As such it means there are certain responsibilities you need to accept." Albus nodded and Minerva revealed the bundle she had been carrying.
A newborn baby was tightly swaddled and pressed tight to the Witch's chest. Severus couldn't tell if the child was male or female, only that it was pale and had hair as black as his own. Its eyes were closed.
After a moment, Severus' regained something close to composure and he looked frantically between both Albus and Minerva. Dumbledore had that damnable glint in his eyes, but Minerva just looked sad. Severus decided to focus on Minerva as the safer of his options. Despite already knowing Occlumency, he didn't trust Dumbledore not to try and rifle through his mind.
"Perhaps, I will ensure that the house is suitable for a child while Professor McGonagall answers all the questions you have," Albus said after tiring of the awkward silence. The old wizard swept from the room in the direction where Severus' mother, Eileen, lay dead in her own house.
Severus mustered his mind action, thinking of logical questions to ask so he might acquire the same knowledge of the child that both Dumbledore and McGonagall were already privy to.
"Why have you brought me this child?" Of all the questions he could have asked, that was the first one he blurted out. A part of Severus was already pinching the bridge of his nose as he admonished himself for being an imbecile.
"Lily told us you were the father," Minerva said after a moment. "She refused to take the child and couldn't, she's a single woman and the powers that be will not allow her to raise the baby. You also have a higher blood status than she."
Severus mentally cursed himself. That one mistake 9 months ago was going to cause more pain than he had ever realized at the time. He thought he was done having daggers shoved into his heart. He thought he was done paying for his mistakes, but it seemed that he was always making more of them.
He considered rejecting the child. Surely, he was allowed to do so. After all, how was he supposed to raise an infant while he was still at school? The question seemed even graver without the presence of his mother.
The prospect, or rather the fact, that he was father hadn't even been on the radar for him. Lily had not said a thing to him, and had apparently used some spectacular glamour's to conceal her condition.
Minerva was looking at him like she expected something, but Severus had no idea what. She peered at him with some realization.
"Would you like to hold your daughter?" she asked after some silence.
Severus looked up at her, completely petrified.
Minerva just smiled and passed the little girl into his arms. The child awoke and looked up at the young wizard with the most incredible eyes he had ever seen.
There was no doubt whose child she was; his own inky black irises were swirled with the most incredible green he had only ever seen in one other person.
Severus nearly wept and realised he would not be able to give the child up. Minerva shifted her position and seemed to realize he had come to a decision.
"I'm sure your mother will help…" Minerva said in comfort.
Severus swallowed loudly at the suggestion.
"Where is your mother?" Minerva asked.
"My father finally went too far," he responded, his voice quiet to prevent it breaking.
His daughter furrowed her brows as if she somehow sensed something was wrong, and he made the effort to relax and smile for her. To his relief, she relaxed too.
"In that case," Minerva said, changing the plan in her head thanks to the new information, "arrangements will be made for you to move to Hogwarts. I'm sure plenty of the staff, myself included, will be happy to assist in caring for the child while you attend classes. They need not know who the child is."
Severus merely nodded. Dumbledore re-entered the room and set a bag down.
"I took the liberty of cleaning up and packing your belongings to be moved to Hogwarts," Dumbledore said grimly. "I suggest we apparate there immediately."
"Minerva," Albus added, "if you wouldn't mind holding the crate while Mr Snape holds the child? I should be able to have a free arm to give Severus a side-along. What have you decided to name her?"
Severus thought for a moment as they shuffled into position. Somehow, over the past hour or so, he had come to think of the child as beautiful. Still, he couldn't deny how disruptive she had been to his life in a very short amount of time. He made a decision.
"Eris," Severus answered after a moment. Eris was the Greek goddess of chaos, strife, and discord. Welcome to my life, Severus thought to himself.
There was a loud crack as the four of them apparated away.