This work is inspired by the song by Sawano Hiroyuki and Mirror, Mirror by Jeff Williams ft. Casey Lee Williams.
I claim nothing, except for my own plot and writings. This fanfiction is only for fun, do not take it so seriously.
[Cross-post from Archive of Our Own under the name Imperceptible.]
It lingered in the mind of Slaine Troyard―Saazbaum, is now his middle name. Yet, he thought it as if it wasn't there. How his Princess Asseylum does not visit him even once, how the water in the sink dripped into the drain, the sound of nocturnal animals searching for prey―Bat. He missed that nickname more than Seagull―Most importantly, how Kaizuka Inaho always lounged his time in this wretched place insufficient for living. The castle was mostly mossed, crumbled―Like how his state of heart now―and no longer functioned, said the State.
There is a dream though, where he was with Asseylum in this cold, barren prison. Her skirt swished elegantly. Her hair was a shade more yellow than Slaine's―it looked more like gold to him than blond―It should suit her well. But this Asseylum he knew was a bit more harsh, playful, teasing―Reminding him more about Lemrina Vers Envers than Asseylum.
―Still, he adored even this version of Asseylum Vers Allusia.
"Slaine," The gorgeous yet deflated voice called him, binding him on a magic of attraction, as if he was in a trance. Hard to believe, the Princess he used to love, to cherish, now a wife to Count Cruhteo―Still bitter on his tongue, that name. He bit his lower lip in return, staring at no one on the ground.
"..Prin― No, I mean.. E-Empress Asseylum." He whispered with apathetic voice, cursing his own stutter. It felt like thousand of needles pricking into his skin, cracking a precious glass, as he tried to smile―No longer capable of. The realization dawned a bit late―too late, because maybe, just maybe―Let him hope―she was here to visit his long lost childhood friend.
He no longer deserved this kindness anymore.
Maybe he was hoping too much. Too much that it would broke his hope more. The higher birds fly, the harder they will fall later. But at least, birds have wings.
Slaine's hope was only embodiment of blue rose. Miracle or Impossibility. Slaine thought, it would be the latter than the former, no matter what he do.
He was covered in sweat. The uncomfortable bed was the only thing that bordered him from the chilly jail floor. But Slaine wasn't aware the nightmare he fought against. The room was peaceful, until a certain brunet―The prodigy. The Earth's Hero, the role he desperately want―trudged into the small prison where Slaine slept for the rest of his life. His face was void of expression, as he twisted the lock and it fell, making an awful clanking sound.
"Slaine," Murmured slow, controlled. Inaho could see―only with one eye, yet it was too obvious―that he wasn't the one who is in Slaine's dream. Clearly he knew and understand, judging by the fleeting name Slaine whispered. Asseylum. But nevertheless, the blonde boy woke up. Panic, forlorn, tearful, nauseated, but most of all, longing―Not for Inaho, but for her. Always.
"She ordered me to kill myself to gain her trust again."
Again, Slaine was reliving his own nightmare. Sooner or later, he would self-destruct―The same brunet who became his archenemy banned him to self-destruct himself.
Even though Kaizuka Inaho wasn't the one Slaine longed, not the one who haunts his dream and reality, not even the one who Slaine thought first―it hurts Inaho a bit, himself reassured. A bit―But, Kaizuka Inaho was there, to hold him. Assure him, love him. Maybe, one day―make Slaine return his unrequited feelings too.
"I won't let you."
Asseylum with her attractive gown and smile to boot, Slaine with simple blue shirt and exhausted smile to contrast.
Earth and Sky, Slaine and Asseylum, respectively.
Inaho doesn't even have a chance at the beginning.
The same dream for a week, Inaho noted. The blonde clutched to Kaizuka Inaho's navy blue uniform, after a series of nightmares. Raged breathing accompanied the incoherrent words of comfort from the brunet―The same person who tried to kill Slaine. The ironic thought made the blonde let out a breathy chuckle, as if he was trying to laugh the fate that bound two of them―it used to be three of them. Now, they only been for two, Kaizuka Inaho and Slaine Troyard. Savior and Criminal. Empress Asseylum Vers Allusia was having a happy ending, in her own solid and majestic castle, with someone she loves beside him. Unlike Slaine's savaged and terrible castle, unlike his devoted―He did everything she wanted, even if it was wrong―yet unworthy love.
"I did everything for her! I don't even think about myself.. She said, I could regain her trust again by doing―" His voice showed desperation, it sounded more like a broken recording.
"Slaine, she abandoned you. Stop thinking about it." Kaizuka Inaho's voice was clear as a day, ringing thousand times in his head. Abandon.
He clutched to it a bit more tighter, drowning his head to the heavy coat Inaho used. Tears of frustration and confusion leaked, dripping to the freezing tile. Slaine sobbed hard that day, and Inaho was there to hold him together once more.
Never once, he stopped murmuring Asseylum's name. Never once, he murmured Inaho's name. The brunet wished too much, as well.
Beneath the empty charade he had, Inaho wished Slaine would understand and noticed.
He hated the fact Slaine always thought about Asseylum.
How he hated that name escaped his chapped lips.
The next day too, Slaine was crying out loud. The guards were on the second floor of the solitary castle, leaving Inaho to take care of him. It was what he exactly asked. For umpteenth time, Inaho comfort him―again, and again. Rough hands he used to pilot Sleipnir was patting his blond hair―so soft, like hers―while murmuring words of comfort.
"Let me die, pleasepleasepleaseplease. I want to gain her trust again, Inaho. Please!" He screamed at the young man, the same scream resounded inside the room.
That sentence alone―with hiccups and cries he let out, that name―managed to broke something inside.
"I'm sorry, I won't let you die."
Because I still need to make you love me. I still need to make you happy.
One night, he found Slaine was awoke. His eyes were dry, no tear tracks staining his pale cheeks―beautiful, marvelous Slaine. He entered the cell, regardless. Dull―Once so bright, that it blinded him―sky irises stared at Kaizuka's longing amber―and the eyepatch.
"Why did I do wrong, why did she abandoned me?"
"Please," Inaho began, unbeknown what will he say next. "Stop thinking about her."
"I can't, Kaizuka Inaho." The―used-to-be―proud Count Troyard retorted. Weak smile caressed his unnatural white complexion.
"For once, notice." Notice me.
"You should try to bear." Bear the same forlorn hope as I held.
"I did and do. But you never know how much I want you."
More than you love her, more than she cared about you.
"I love you, Slaine Troyard."
Haha, this fic is kind of suck, yes? I was getting my muse back when I heard the song , and technically been working this for.. I don't know, a week? I only get to finish it now, due to never-ending homework (possibly because the A/Z ending as well).
This fic is also my first one in this web and also this fandom. Was made because of my inability to cope with the ending.
Thank you for reading this rants, and this fic.