Wife Swap: Blacks vs. Cullen

Summary: Wife swap with the Blacks and Cullen's is fun right? But while one is trying to handle a coven field with vampires and wolves, the other… well, they discover some shocking news about themselves, who they really are, and about their parentage. When the wives reunite, not everyone is happy to be back home. What happens when the other sister returns back home after fifty years?

A/N: Severus and Bellatrix did not die in the final battle, Bella had killed Molly instead, and Severus had slipped a bottle of potion in before Nigie had 'killed' him.

Chapter I: Wife Swap Letters

London England:


I was just watching my favorite show, Wife Swap, when Draco comes running in, he stops just in front of me, and says, "Auntie Bella, I know what we should do in order for us to find Mother."

Draco, Severus, Lucius, and I have been at this search ever since the battle, and so far we have not found her yet.

I said, "What is it Draco?"

Severus came in and said, "We should go out into the Muggle world and find her."

I said, "What?"

Lucius says from just behind Severus, "Severus thought of the idea."

I said, "No."

Severus said, "You don't have to go if you want to."

I said, "Draco, did you agree with this?"

Lucius said, "Yeah, we both did actually."

I said, "I know, Lucius. I know that we all miss her, and I do know that we all will be reunited with her once again."

Lucius said, "Perfect, now we just have to find her out there, and we could hopefully bring her back home."

I said, "I hope this works."

Draco said, "Oh it will."

Our house elf Jane came in, and she said in her high pitched voice, "Master, Jane has a letter for you."

I said, "Give it to me."

She gave me the letter, I opened it, and read it out loud to everyone:


Mrs. Bellatrix Malfoy:

You have been chosen to be on the show.

You'll be staying with your host family for two weeks, the first week you have to follow the family's rules, and then the second week you could make some new rules for your host family.

Have fun with your new host family.

You'll be traveling to Forks, Washington.


Wife Swap Team.

When I was done, Severus said, "Great."

I snapped, "Who done it?"

Lucius said, "Who done what?"

I said, "Who bloody put me onto that show!?"

Just then Pansy had returned from town, when she saw us all in the kitchen, she said, "Draco, did she—"

I turned to glare at Pansy, and I said, "Pansy! How dare you put me onto that show!"

She said, "Bella, calm down. I mean, we all know that you love that show…"

I went out of the room, while forming how to hex Pansy.

She will pay.

Forks, Washington:


I was in my room here at our home in the forest, I didn't know what to think now that I was a vampire, during my transformation, I had lost so much of my memory, that all I could remember was from when I had first met Edward all the way up to when I was giving birth to Nessie, I had also lost a lot of my childhood things, I didn't have any interest in the whole wanna-be-a-dark-witch phase that my mother was telling me about.

I couldn't even remember why I liked dark witches at the time, maybe it was always because whenever I would try to read any of the Harry Potter books, I would just start feeling like I knew some of the characters in the books personally.

It used to bother me so much, that I wouldn't pick up any of the books, but now I hate them so much.

Edward came back, he went out hunting with Jasper, when he saw me, he said, "Bella, Alice wants us at the big house for a family meeting."

I said, "Alright Edward."

So we both sped up to the big house, when we both got to the big house, and we all were sitting down, Alice said, "We're all signed up for Wife Swap."

Esme said, "Alright, which one of you did it?"

Just then Carlisle said, "Bella, you have mail."

He handed me a package, I tore it open, and it said:


Mrs. Isabella M. Swan-Cullen:

You have been chosen to be on the show.

You'll be staying with your host family for two weeks, the first week you have to follow the family's rules, and then the second week you could make some new rules for your host family.

Have fun with your new host family.

You'll be traveling to London, England.


Wife Swap Team.

When I was done reading the letter, I shouted, "EMMETT AND JASPER CULLEN! HOW DARE YOU PUT ME ON THAT SHOW!"

Emmett said, "Oh come on! Bella how come you ALWAYS assume that it was me. WHEN IT'S CLEAR THAT IT WASN'T ME!?"

I said, "Because you and Jasper are the two goons who would do this kind of thing! That's what!"

Jasper said, "Bella, you know that I would never EVER do this kind of thing."

Alice said, "Alright! Both of you stop it. We have a problem."

I said, "What is it Alice?"

Just then Nessie said, "Mommy, can I talk to you for a minute?"

I said, "Sure honey, what's up?"

She said, "Who's Narcissa Black?"


"Just a fox. I thought perhaps an Aura – Cissy, wait!?"

"Cissy, - Narcissa – Listen to me—"

"Go back, Bella!"

"You must listen to me!"

"Cissy, you must not do this, you can't trust him—"

"The Dark Lord trusts him, doesn't he?"

"The Dark Lord is… I believe… mistaken, in any case, we were told not to speak of the plan to anyone. This is a betrayal of the Dark Lord's—"

"Let go, Bella!"


"Cissy, your own sister? You wouldn't—"

"There is nothing I wouldn't do anymore!"


"Narcissa, what a pleasant surprise."

"Severus, may I speak to you? It's urgent."

"What is it, Cissy? What happened?"

Just then it all ended, I don't know how or where the thought of her name had come from, but I whispered, "Bellatrix."

Nessie gasped, she said, "Mother, come with me!"

I followed her into her room at our home, when we both were in her room, she shut the door, went over to her closet, and she pulled out a black dress, black cloak, black high heal boots, wand, and broomstick.

She turned to face me, and she said, "Do you know anything about this? Because I found these at grandpa's house in your old room."

I said, "Why did you go into my old room?"

She said, "I was curious, but when I found these cool looking clothes—"

I cut in coldly, "You're not allowed into my old room, do you hear me? You're not allowed to ever take those clothes out of that room."

She said, "Mother—"

I said, "Give them to me."

She said, "But why?"

I just went over to her bed, and started picking up the dark outfit, but when I got to the wand, I felt something warm go up my left arm, and I heard someone say, "Call him!"

Just then something appeared on my left arm, I turned away from Nessie, went back into my room, when I was alone, I slowly pulled my left arm closer, and what I saw made me froze, I saw the Dark Mark on my left arm.

And at that moment I knew that it was all true.

My entire life all had been a lie.