Hello my loyal readers. I present to you my new story, co-written by my awesome friend Demon Anarchy of Pride, who himself is the author of great fics like "Tokyo Ghoul DxD", "Fire Emblem: The Miraculous Birthday", "TOKYO GHOUL: Requiem for a Demon", "Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion R-eset" and many more! Each one is excellent, and I recommend them all.
This marks the first example of a crossover that should have been done a long time ago:
Highschool DxD meets Disgaea and the absolute craziness, wackiness and randomness of the Nippon Ichi Universe!
Get on your seats and secure your belts people, because one crazy journey is about to begin!
Prologue: A Wacky Start
The Protagonist Has No Idea Where He Is, And The Others Have No Idea What They Are Doing
A world spoiled by spite, cruelty, blood soaked taboos and boundless riffraff. They say that dark dwellers run rampant, causing horrifying disasters in those lands.
In the center of this hellish place lies a school that endlessly continues to expand its grounds:
The Nether Institute, Evil Academy.
With the Overlord as dean and greater demons for teachers, demon students who follow their baser instincts are labeled as honor students at this school of torment. This is the root of evil in this tumultuous Netherworld... The Pandora's Box that spreads corruption and destruction.
Inside one of the Freshmen's Classrooms, which saw more use as battlefield that places of lessons and learning, a trio of bizarre individuals were fretting around a boiling cauldron. They resembled bipedal boar-like creatures with purple fur, their clothes consisting only of a belt around the stomach and a metal helmet adorned with three small spikes.
They were also short, a trio of midgets barely taller than ten year old children, but very few dare to say that to their faces.
Not that many people bother to speak to them in the first place, instead choosing to ignore them outright.
Meet the Vato Bros, Freshmen Honor Students and all around typical mooks you would find in any self-respecting RPG.
"Are you sure this will work, ese?" Chewie, the youngest brother, asked with a Mexican accent while peeking inside the cauldron, grimacing at the pungent smell.
"You can bet your naranjas!" Churro, the oldest brother, boasted with the same Mexican accent. "What, you don't trust your old bro, weddo?"
"Of course we do big bro!" Cholo, the middle brother, protested (again with a Mexican accent) while waving his arms. "That niño Mao's gonna pay for looking down on us, homes!"
"Yeah!" Churro slammed his palm on the cauldron, causing Chewie to almost fall inside. He took out from behind him an old book's page and chuckled. "With this ancient summoning ritual I found in the library, we will summon a monster so powerful, so temible that it will squash that niño Mao like a bug! And it will do everything we say, weddo!"
"...Evil Academy has a library?" Chewie asked with a confused expression soon mirrored by Cholo.
"Sure. I think... It looked like a library: it had books..." Churro said with a faraway look before continuing as if nothing happened. "Let's not waste time! Little bros, do you have the ingredients?
"Yes big bro! Dried Dragon, Fairy Oil and the Shura Sword!" Cholo held up a shriveled lizard, a bottle of olive oil and an old broken katana.
"I have the Clown Shoes and a Wyrm Bone." Chewie showed a box with a pair of smelly size 18 shoes and the skeleton of a Komodo dragon.
"Good, good-That's no good!" Churro checked the ritual again before staring at his little brothers. "There are six ingredients. Where is the life energy, weddo?"
Churro and Cholo turned to Chewie, who developed a sweat-drop.
"...Wait a momentito." The youngest of the Vato Bros took his club and run out of the classroom.
He returned a few minutes later dragging with him a knocked out student, a large bump forming on his head. "Life energy 'here, ese."
"We're good. Alright little bros, put everything inside the caldera, weddo!"
Cholo and Chewie tossed the ingredients and the student into the cauldron. At the rough treatment the student began to stir before Chewie's club resolved the problem.
"Now, the incantation..." Churro read the page. "Sound simple."
He walked in front of the cauldron, put his palms on the opposite shoulders and spun around on himself. At the third spin he stopped abruptly, raised his arms by 45° and kicked the air with his right leg. "Olé!"
"That's it, homes?"
"Nope. You gonna help too little bros! C'mon, weddo!" Churro repeated the movements. "Olé!"
"If you say so." Cholo walked next to Churro and assumed the initial pose. He spun around, raised his arms-
-And kicked his older brother's ass.
"What are you doing?!"
"Sorry big bro!"
"Whatever." He massaged his ass, who stung. "Chewie, your turn."
"Alright!" Chewie walked next to Cholo and assumed the initial pose. He spun around, raised his arms-
-And kicked Cholo's ass.
"What where you put that foot, homes!" He grabbed his younger brother by the fur below the neck and shook him.
"Cut it out cabrones!" Churro pushed the two apart. "This time, all three at the same time. And no kicks, comprende?"
The three brothers assumed the initial pose. They spun around, raised their arms-
And again Cholo kicked Churro's ass, while Chewie kicked Cholos's ass.
"YOU'RE DOING THIS ON PURPOSE, WEDDO?!"
"I'MMA BURY MY FOOT INTO YOUR ASS, HOMES!"
"WHAT DID I DO, ESE!?"
As things degenerated into a family brawl fought ferociously by all parts for lame reasons, no one noticed when the inside of the cauldron began glowing an angry red and shooting lightning bolts.
"Haaah, man, this sucks..."
In the human world, an average teen was walking back from his friend's house after having been there for the whole night watching eroge anime and other perverted topics. To the females that lived in this town, it was no surprise. He was among the Perverted Trio, a group of gaggling boys that partook in everything related to perverted stuff such as hentai and the likes.
The human, Issei Hyoudou, was average with brown hair, his bangs swept off to the right side as to not hinder his sight, while the overall length came down to the collar of his shirt. He was dressed in his street clothes consisting of a simple white v-neck shirt with red lines along the sleeves and down the sides, complete with blue jeans and white sneakers.
"There's really nothing to do here..." Issei groaned, a bit disappointed that, despite it being summer vacation, there was hardly anything for him to accomplish. It was a simple schedule: get up in the morning, eat, go watch hentai, then sleep. However, despite being in the early days of summer this routine was starting to get a bit boring. "And the swimming pool isn't open, so I can't exactly watch the girls go bathe and whatnot..."
One would think how the boy's parents might feel. In all honesty, they were disappointed and saddened that their son was a gigantic pervert, but even more than that, they were despairing at the thought of never having any grandchildren, so much that they went on a cruise for the entire summer with the secret (and final) hope that Issei would use the empty house to bring a girl home and 'score' with her.
Issei really didn't see what the problem was. Seriously, was it wrong to pursue the dreams of wanting to be between a woman's most sacred area?
If one must wonder how he ended up like this, you may blame the old man that turned him and a few other children into oppai obsessed idiots.
"I wish something exciting would happen..." Issei muttered before he was forced to stop, his arms over his face as a giant gust of wind kicked up, nearly knocking him off of his feet. "W-whoa!" He gasped from the sheer pressure before it began to subside. "Oh man... talk about a big one... Huh?" He blinked when he saw what looked like some kind of magic circle in front of him. It was one of those that you would commonly see in supernatural anime, bearing a pentagram with some weird gibberish along the circle. "The hell?"
Curious, Issei examined it from all sides, even going behind it. "Is this some kind of magic trick?" He wondered aloud, crossing his arms over his chest and tilting his head in thought. "Maybe a hologram?" His curiosity continued to grow, eventually nodding his head and placing a fist against his open palm. "Yosh!"
Doing what was probably the stupidest thing you could in this situation, Issei placed his hand against the circle.
Once again, the stupidest thing that one could do in this situation. Obviously, Issei had not watched enough manga or anime to understand what happens when you put your hand in a magic circle.
"Bwuh?!" His eyes widened in alarm when he felt himself being pulled in. He tried to struggle, but nothing could be done. He tried to reel himself back, but the pull was stronger. His free hand flail wildly behind him, searching for anything to grab on. Hope blossomed when he felt his fingers clench around a long, soft object.
And promptly shattered when that object turned out to be the tail of a cat, the poor animal landing on his back and digging its claws into his soft flesh as the pull from the magic circle turned even stronger.
He fell in face first.
When Issei's feet were absorbed into the circle, the pentagram vanished from existence, as if it was never there in the first place.
No one had even noticed that Issei Hyoudou was gone.
Back in the Netherworld, Cholo was biting Chewie's leg and Churro was hitting Cholo's head with his tiny fists, all the while Chewie kept slamming a chair on his older brothers helmet-covered heads without success, when from the cauldron came out glowing lights that converged into a single point above it, forming a crimson sphere-
"Que paso?" None the worse for wear, Chewie emerged from the remains of a desk and asked.
"It worked, weddo!" Churro clapped in glee. "My invincible loyal monster is here!"
"But where is it?" Cholo wondered, seeing only himself and his brothers inside the ruined classroom.
"Obviously under the rubble. Man, who knew summoning rituals are so messy..." The oldest Vato began searching among the rubble and almost immediately noticed a certain pile was shaking. "Here! Arise beast of Armageddon, and greet your lord and master!"
"Puah! God, I thought I was gonna die!" Issei Hyoudou's head and arms shot out of the pile before pushing the rest of his body outside, his clothes slightly singed but otherwise intact.
"Big Bro? This 'invincible loyal monster' looks a lot like a dumb teenager, ese." Chewie pointed out to the (literally) petrified Churro.
"I knew that ritual was rubbish, homes." Cholo lowered his helmet to cover his eyes.
Recovering thanks to the power of being massively pissed off Churro grabbed Issei's shirt and started shaking him. "Who are you? Where's my invincible monster, weddo?"
Of course, being in an unknown location with a monstrous creature straight out of Hell yelling enraged at you, Issei did what anyone else in his situation would do.
"A talking pig?"
He put his foot in his mouth.
"...What did you say, weddo?" Even with his [Harem Protagonist] level denseness Issei understood he said something he shouldn't have. So he tried to remedy.
"A talking boar?" He scratched the back of his head in embarrassment. "Sorry, they're kinda the same to me."
And failed miserably.
Issei just barely managed to get out of the way of Churro's club, his eyes widening as the blow left an indent the size of his head in the pavement. "What the hell! Are you trying to kill me?"
"I'MMA GOING TO MAKE YOUR INSIDES LOOK LIKE A BURRITO, WEDDO!"
"AAAAHHH!" Issei screamed as he run out of the classroom, Churro hot on his ass.
"I'm coming Big-YEEEOWW!" Cholo was going to join the hunt when an hysterical cat jumped out of the debris and ravaged his face.
At the same time the student knocked out by Chewie woke up and noticed the youngest Vato. "YOU!"
"Ops." Is all the Orc could say before a fist slammed him into and through the wall.
"STOP AND TAKE YOUR PUNISHMENT LIKE A MAN!" Churro roared.
"I'M NOT EVEN A LEGAL ADULT!" Issei screamed back as she run faster than he ever did, grabbing whatever he passed by and tossing it behind him in the hope of slowing down his chaser: a mop, an empty bucket, a chair, a very realistic (if weird) statue of a penguin...
"Watch out, Dood!"
Issei didn't even slow down, fear filling his head with conjured images of what his fate would be if the strange pig-man were to catch him: as none of them were pretty and for people under 18 years of age, the natural reaction was to push himself further.
Thus, he didn't noticed when slivers of a strange energy flew into his body, not when something in his left hand seemed to react to said energy.
Only after half an hour without hearing a death threat Issei allowed himself to stop and relax, slumping down and leaning against a pillar. "Aah... aah... How did one goes from taking a stroll in the city to running for his life from a pig monster?" He wondered. Looking around he found out he was in a large hall one would find in an ancient castle, with shops selling all sorts of bizarre weapons and armors. People looking as if they came from a cosplay convention were calmly chatting and walking around attending their business, while in the center...
Was another statue of the same weird penguin, only this one was bigger, made of rough stone and said penguin was reading a book while carrying on his back a stack of logs.
Issei arrived at a single conclusion: he was well and truly lost.
In case you're wondering, this story start at the start of Issei's summer vacation between his first and second year of highschool, so before DxD canon. At the same time Mao left his house to begin his own journey to defeat the Overlord: our favorite young evil genius and Issei will eventually meet, but I leave the exact circumstances to the future chapters.
Lastly, I open a challenge: send me your OCs that you want to see in the story. Some will become Issei's companions, while others will be antagonists (and some maybe both), but I swear I'll find a way to fit them all in. The more you send, the more colorful this story will become!
Title: Oppai Baka
Evility: Hentai Power (+5% to all stats for every female on the field, +10% if they have big breasts, but receive -20% to all stats when fighting a female)
Weapon Types: Fist, Sword
Skills: all Fist and Sword Skills
Description: The hero of the story and a massive pervert with an unhealthy fascination for breasts. Despite his fault he's a hardworking and loyal person who will risk limbs and life to protect his friends.