1.
Warning. I fully intend to mess with the canon here. Be warned. Also, there will be an OC. I've tried really hard not to make her mary-sue-y or irritating, I promise. Also, I know the Amity-to-Dauntless thing has been done before, I'm sorry. I just wanted to do it again, because Amity is my favourite faction. I hope you enjoy, and any suggestions, advice or reviews would be welcomed.
I couldn't see properly, it was too dim and gloomy. The room was completely bare except for a seat that looked like a dentists' chair. Actually, no. There was someone sitting in the corner. Try as I might, I couldn't see her face. Or his face.
'Sit.' the Someone gestured towards the chair. I sat, and the Someone handed me a glass of liquid. I downed it as I knew I was supposed to, and almost immediately I was alone. The chair, the Someone...all had gone, and there were only mirrors and my reflection. I felt kind of dizzy, surrounded by so many versions of myself.
'Hey,'
I turned around, bewildered, to see my own reflection. 'Are...are you talking to me?'
My reflection looked impassively back. 'Choose.'
'Choose what?' I suddenly noticed two tables. One with cheese, one with a long, serviceable knife.
'Why?'
'Just choose.' the reflection repeated calmly. I shook my head. It's not real, she thought. Hey, maybe I'll get Erudite.
A vicious snarl interrupted my smug little reverie. A huge dog, glistening fangs bared, crouched in the corner of the room. Oh no. I like dogs, but this one looked...hungry.I frantically tried to remember what father had told me regarding vicious dogs. The dog flung itself across the room at my throat. I tried to dodge, and the dog squared up to me again. Dogs can smell fear. I looked it square in the eye as it approached for the second time, and relaxed. It's not real. I waited. Nothing happened.
'Hey, a puppy.'
I looked up in surprise. The dog was lying at my feet, tongue lolling. A young Amity girl was walking towards the dog, hands outstretched. The dog's head snapped around with a blood curdling growl. It leapt towards the girl and my heart stopped. I grabbed the scruff of the dog's neck with both hands. The weight and momentum of the dog nearly dragged me off me feet, but I managed to hang on. 'Run,' I shouted to the girl. 'Run! Now!'
Then I was back in the dim room. It was over. Was that it?
'How did I...' I began, turning to the Someone in the corner. I stopped. The Someone was pointing straight at me. 'You.'
'Me...?'
'You are different. You are dangerous. You must be destroyed.'
'What? I just want to know what my result is! I'm not dangerous.'
'You are a divergent, and cannot be allowed to poison our society.'
'A what? What's a divergent? Why won't you tell me?'
The Someone advanced on me until I felt the the cold wall pressing into my back and arms. 'Please...' I began, and then stopped as I saw Mama and Father standing behind the Someone. Contempt and fear was written on their faces. Contempt and fear for me.
My brothers stood behind our parents, faces averted. Carrie, my oldest and best friend, shook her head , hatred twisting her features. Suddenly, soldiers dressed in black jumped from nowhere and pinioned my arms painfully behind my back, they were dragging me away...
#
I shot up straight in bed, gasping for breath. Sweat ran down my face, and my pillow was soaked with it. Nice. It was just a dream. Of course it was a dream. The real thing hadn't been nearly so bad. The plump Abnegation girl who had conducted my aptitude test had been kind and friendly, like Abnegation always were. Her black hair was pulled back in the customary Abnegation bun at the nape of her neck, and she looked harassed.
'You're listed as Emily Arbe, is that right? Nervous?' she asked me brightly.
'A little. Is there anything to worry about?'
'Not at all. I mean, you'll probably get Amity. Most people get the faction they were born in. Although this is only my first year doing this.' she added, and then flushed, as if she shouldn't really be talking about herself.
'Good for you. Do you enjoy giving aptitude tests?' I couldn't help wincing at the fake over-friendliness in my voice. Small talk had never been my forte, although I've gotten very good at faking friendliness over the years. But the Abnegation girl smiled at me gratefully. 'It doesn't really matter what I think. Although you're the first one to be nice to me today.'
'Really?'
'Yes. I've only had people from Candor, Erudite and Dauntless. They all seem to think Abnegation is a joke.'
I nodded. It was true; the selfless Abnegation faction was the butt of much contempt. It wasn't fair. 'If it makes you feel any better,' I volunteered, making myself comfortable in the chair, 'They laugh at us too. They think the Amity are just stupid farmers.'
When the test was over, I winced at the headache the simulation fluid had given me, and looked over to the Abnegation girl. She was fiddling with her computer screen with a strange look on her face. I padded over and peered over her shoulder, and the Abnegation girl jumped, covering the screen with her arm. But it was too late; I'd seen it. The five Faction symbols were pulsing gently on the screen. One symbol should be highlighted following the aptitude test. The only thing was, my screen had four symbols highlighted, and they were flashing a dangerous red.
'W..what's going on?' I stammered. The Abnegation girl ignored her, tapping the screen until the red flashing stopped, and only one symbol was highlighted. 'Nothing.' she replied after a moment. 'Your result is Amity. You can go now.'
I stared at her. Well, I'd never had an Abnegation speak so brusquely to her. 'What aren't you telling me?'
The Abnegation girl looked away and chewed her lip. 'Nothing. Your result is Amity, as I told you it would be. Now, if you don't mind, there are a lot of people waiting to take their test...'
I folded my arms. 'Abnegation aren't good liars. Please, if you're holding something back...it's something I could need to know before I choose tomorrow. I thought I might get...Candor, maybe?'
The Abnegation girl looked down. 'You got Candor.'
'Oh,' I breathed out.
'And Amity. And Dauntless. And Erudite. You tested positive for four of the five factions.'
'But how? I mean, there's only so many choices in the simulation, so surely...'
The Abnegation girl shook her head. 'Your results were inconclusive. They call it Divergence,' she interrupted. Another trait unusual in Abnegation. 'I didn't want to tell you because it is dangerous.'
I felt the hairs on the back of her neck prickle. 'How can it be dangerous?'
'People who don't fit into any one faction cannot be controlled by the faction system. Many powerful people will feel threatened by you, so you must keep it a secret. Try and forget this ever happened, and tell everyone your result was Amity, or Abnegation. If it's known that you are a divergent...well, I don't know what will happen to you. But it will be bad, I guarantee it. And you'll drag me down with you, because they will know that I lied for you.'
'You did?'
'Yes, I manually entered Amity into your results. Now please, go.' the Abnegation actually gave me a little push towards the door.
'Wait,' I stopped just before she opened the door to leave. 'I didn't thank you. What's your name?'
The Abnegation girl hesitated. 'Christie. Go!'
'I'm Emil...' the door closed firmly in my face.
#
Divergent. I didn't even know that was thing, and now I was one. Why couldn't I have just got Amity like everyone else? I thought. Surely it wasn't that bad.
'Emily?' Carrie whispered. It was still dark, the sun hadn't touched the horizon yet. Carrie was my best friend, and she was staying with the rest of the my family. I tried to breathe quietly and not make too much noise after my nightmare, but Carrie's a light sleeper.
The Amity have big families, and my parents, John and Mary Arbe, had no less than ten children; eight boys and two girls. My oldest brother, Steven, chose Amity. The second, David, chose Abnegation. The twins Jeremy and Jerome chose Erudite and Candor respectively. The next three boys, Robert, Paul and Hamish all chose Amity. Now it was my turn.
'What was your result?' Carrie asked.
I said nothing. We're not supposed to talk about or tests, let alone ask, but Carrie's never been good at keeping her mouth shut.
'Mine was Amity.' Carrie volunteered.
There was a surprise. Carrie was the ideal Amity girl. Besides, she'd been going out with my brother Hamish for almost a year.
Surely it wouldn't be so bad to tell Carrie. I mean, I know she can't keep a secret, but this is really important. I'm sure she could keep it to herself. Maybe she could give me some advice.
I opened my mouth to speak.
'Breakfast!' Father shouted, breaking the stillness. Around us, people stirred groggily, murmuring and complaining.
'Why are we getting up so early?' I asked Father.
'It's the choosing ceremony. We have to travel back into town today. We need an early start. Come on, you've a big day today.' he smiled kindly at me. He's sure I'm going to choose Amity. We're all so happy here, who'd want to be anywhere else?
Even this early, the queue for food was long, and people are chattering and laughing happily. I avoided eye contact. It was just too early for conversation.
'Look, Roger's serving today.' Carrie nudged me in the ribs with her tray, and my heart sank. Roger was a typical Amity boy. He had been born in Amity, and chose Amity last year. He had a lazy smile and long floppy hair, a good sense of humour and nothing ever riled him. He liked everyone and everything. And he especially liked me. I don't know what's so great about me.
'Here you go, Emily.' he deposited a handful of carrots on my tray. 'Good luck today. Go with happiness.'
I cracked. Every single day, three times a day for the last sixteen years, someone had told her to go with happiness.
'Why?' I said aloud.
'Hm?' Roger looked at me blankly.
'Why did you say that? You don't really care if I "go with happiness" or not. It's just a thing you say. It doesn't mean anything. You say it to every single person every day. It means nothing.' my voice grew higher and higher, until I realised there was silence around me. Everyone was looking at me. Oops. Roger looked dumbfounded. I felt my cheeks start to burn. Why do I always end up making a scene? Then Roger smiled. 'It's all right, Emily.' he reached out and squeezed my shoulder comfortingly. 'You're choosing today, aren't you? I know you're afraid. But everything will be fine. Here, have some more bread.'
For some inexplicable reason, I just wanted to slap his face. But I choked back a scathing response and forced a smile. 'I'm sorry, Roger. You're right, I am afraid. But I should not have spoken so harshly for you. Forgive me.'
Roger nodded understandingly, and I hurriedly moved away. I knew what was expected of me, but didn't often manage to do it. What was wrong with me? Roger didn't deserve that. He was just trying to be nice. I'm the one with the problem. I'm always the one with the problem.
'Emily Arbe?' I heard a blonde woman behind me whisper to her companion.
'That's her. John Arbe made the new thresher, remember? He fixes the machines. An excellent man.'
'Ah yes. Choosing today, is she?'
'Yes. No one thinks that she'll choose Amity. I think this is the last we'll see of her.'
'I suppose not. She doesn't really belong here, does she?'
I put her head down and concentrated on my food. The conversation she had overheard had had no malice or dislike in it all. That made it worse.
#
'You're not wearing that!' Carrie cried.
'Why not?' I had pulled on my usual red check shirt with worn, grubby beige trousers. They were my favourite clothes, being comfortable and practical for work.
'It's our choosing ceremony. We're going into the city! We never get to go into the city. We need to dress up.' Carrie would not be stopped, and she soon had me wearing a light yellow peasant blouse and a long red skirt.
'See how nice you look,' Carrie grinned. She looked beautiful in anything. She had waist length light blonde hair that was almost white, and clear blue eyes. My chestnut coloured hair was curly, but not the glossy ringlets and corkscrew curls Mama had. My stupid curls defied brushing or styling of any sort. Usually I plait both sides to keep my hair out of my face – it gets hot and sweaty working in the fields all day - and wind the rest into one long plait that hangs down my back, and slaps me in the face if I turn around really quickly.
'No, leave it loose today,' Carrie insisted.
#
Almost everyone came out to see us off. All the ones who were choosing and their families crowded onto the trucks, talking animatedly. I found a seat and concentrated on not throwing up my breakfast.
'Nervous?' Carrie asked breezily.
'Me? No, no.' I answered hurriedly, casting a furtive glance around. No one else seemed nervous. They were all chattering and laughing with each other. It's all right for them, I thought sourly. They know exactly what faction they have to choose. I have absolutely no idea. Let me think, what did the Abnegation girl – Christie, was it? What did she say? Erudite...Candor...Dauntless. And Amity. Well, Candor is ruled out, for a start. If I can't tell anyone I'm divergent, I can't go into the honest faction. And Erudite are supposed to be intelligent, so that's not a good idea either. They'd figure me out in no time. I didn't get Abnegation in my test, and I don't think I'd be good at being selfless. So it's either Dauntless or Amity.
I wasn't sure if I wanted to stay. I wasn't sure what I wanted. My family is here. My friends. But I don't know if I can spend the rest of my life biting my tongue. I always say the wrong thing, I always hurt people's feelings. They ignore it now, but if I choose Amity...it will all change. I'll have to change. I don't know if I can.
Wrapped up in my own thoughts, I don't think I spoke a word for the entire journey. I barely heard the lively buzz of conversation. I think one or two people tried to speak to me, but I stared past them as if they were not there, and they soon gave up. I saw Mama cast worried little glances at me, frowning.
'John,' she whispered quietly to Father, 'Look at Emily.'
Father looked, and said nothing. I just knew that the look on my face was the exact same look David, Jerome and Jeremy had all had before they chose to defect. I wasn't sure how Mama would take losing me. I spent most of my time with her and Carrie. My younger sister, Marie, spent most of her time doing goodness knows what, running all over the fields with her twin brother, Joshua. She was the only other girl in the family, and she wasn't going to be much comfort if I defected.
I tried not to think about it, and focused entirely on the rumbling and swaying of the truck. Father had been a transfer from Erudite, and he had made a life for himself building new machines for us, new vehicles, and fixing the old ones. He spent three months transforming this very truck from a rusted, burned out wreck into a reliable truck we could use. Suddenly we were there. We piled out, laughing loudly. I watch the Erudite sniff and roll their eyes at our effusive greetings. Candor hardly notice us, they are too busy arguing amongst themselves. I'd hate to be in Candor. They're supposed to be entirely truthful, but the truth is subjective. As Father says, what the truth is depends on where you're standing. So as a result, Candor members just argue all the time, because each one believes he or she is in the right. Abnegation members just smile mildly at us. When we get into the Hub, a group of Abnegation get out of the elevator to let me and my family in, and I see them start up the stairs. Surely they're not going to walk all the way up?
#
Finally, we are there, and now I am nervous. Mama is on one side of me, Carrie on the other. The names are being read out in reverse alphabetical order, so I will be last. Great.
'Here goes.' Carrie whispers, as her name is called. She goes up to the five bowls, winces as she cuts a tiny cut on her palm, and drips a single drop of her blood into the Amity bowl. Faction before blood. I thought she would come back and sit with us, but she has to stand behind the Amity section.
I prick up my ears when 'Caleb Prior' is called. Prior? That name sounds familiar. Oh yes, he will be the son of Alexander Prior, who is an Abnegation leader. There is a collective intake of breath as Caleb Prior chooses Erudite. Erudite are Abnegation's bitterest rivals. I bet Caleb's parents are proud. Then Beatrice Prior is called. After a moment's hesitation, she chooses Dauntless. This time the muttering and hissing is much, much louder. I glance over at the Abnegation section. This will not go down well.
Finally, finally, my name is called. Emily Arbe. I can't look at anything except those five bowls. I pick up the knife and make the smallest cut possible. It stings, and I berate myself for being such a baby. I look at the Amity bowl, filled with earth, but my arm goes out of its own accord. I have already decided. Dauntless. I drip my blood onto the sizzling coals.
'Dauntless!' I hear the announcement being made, and unhappy murmurs from my faction. The Dauntless faction cheers wildly, and someone jumps up to give me their seat.
I don't need the seat. There is no one else after me, and Dauntless start to file out the door immediately. I can't help it, I look back to see my family. Mama is crying, Father has his arm around her. Steven looks grim and stern, Robert and Paul look shellshocked. Carrie is staring straight at me, and I can't face her look of betrayal and hurt. Hamish can't even look at me, he's trying to talk to Carrie instead. I look away quickly, and follow my new faction. A doubt prickles in the back of mind. Will it be worth it?