Six Months Later.
"Dean, what the hell?" Sam whined, moving closer to his brother as a group of clowns giggled by the three. God, he hated them. There had been a call about a haunted house at an amusement park, that was actually haunted. People had went in, but came out in a zombie like state. "We could've came when the place was closed, why drag me here during the evening?"
"For that face." Dean laughed openly, loving torturing his little brother a bit. "Come on Sammy! It is supposed to be fun." He joked and Sam rolled his eyes.
"You know I hate these places..."
"That is what I told Dean, but he insisted you join us. " Castiel jumped in, picking at the treat in his hand. It was called a 'Funnel Cake', and Cas would never go without one again.
Food was amazing.
"Slow down there Cas, that is your second one...You don't want to get sick again..." Dean warned, trying not to smile in amused disgust. Castiel had decided to down a turkey leg before getting on a spinning ride known as 'Spider'. Cas grimaced, handing the sweet to Sam.
Correction, food was amazing but did not taste good when it came back up.
"The ride we need to see isn't even opened anymore, we have to wait for this place to start shutting down anyway." Sam said, taking the plate and dropping it in the closest garbage can.
"I know that, I just figured we could use a little fun." Dean's eyes lit up like a child when he saw the ferris wheel. "Aren't you the one always griping me to get out more?"
"I'm not going on that..." Sam frowned, following his brother's gaze.
"You're such a bitch, you know that?" Dean gave a harmless glare at his brother. "Fine. Me and Cassie will enjoy ourselves, right?" He turned and smiled at the former angel, who was examining a stuffed giraffe hanging off of the ring toss prize wall with such intensity that both the Winchesters chuckled. Castiel looked at the two with confusion, obviously not paying attention to their bickering. In the months that passed Cas had found life of a human to be easier than he thought. It was still complicating emotional-wise, but the rest was quite simple. Change clothes regularly, sleep every night(if possible with their line of work), eat(his favorite part), and keep good hygene. He had to admit, he was having a lot of fun.
"Do you want to go on the Ferris Wheel with me?" Dean asked, pointing to the very large wheel a few feet away. Castiel's eyes widened.
"People get on that?" He thought it was just a impressive decoration.
"Sure do, I bet you can see the whole place too." Dean added, trying to win him over.
"That sounds...dangerous." Cas frowned, looking between the two. "What if we fall off? Humans don't have the wings to fly, or the ability to relocate before hitting the ground."
"Exactly." Sam smiled smugly at Dean while pointing at Cas.
"You guys are a bunch of pansies, I swear." Huffed the older Winchester. "Well, I'm doing it." He then turned and walked off toward the line.
Dean bounced on his heels, excitement clear. He was feeling good, real good. The last six months had really turned him around. Sure, they still had monsters to fight and life was as gloomy as ever, but he decided to not let that get to him. Mostly because his relationship with Castiel was slowly healing. The two would actually talk now. It was hard in the beginning, and he's sure they gave Sam more than a few headaches with their arguing or tantrums, but they were definitely doing better. Cas had started to come around him again after a few months. They would have conversations about more than work, and he helped the recently made human understand his surroundings better. Castiel still had his moments of mistrust in Dean, and he wasn't sure he could ever make that fully go away, but he would take what he could get.
"Are you really going to get on this?" Castiel's worried voice surprised him, but he quickly smiled at him.
"You bet your ass I am." Dean let a cocky grin spread on his face. "You decide to join me?"
Castiel glanced up at the ride then back to Dean. "There isn't even proper straps to hold you in." He pointed out, clearly unsure of anyone getting in such a device. Even the ride he chose was secured properly.
"That's because it doesn't spin or flip you around. You just go up..." Dean pointed upward, then circled back around to the ground "Then down."
"I...I am not an angel anymore Dean, if you fall off of this 'ride', I won't be able to save you." Cas admitted after a moment, worry clear on his face.
"Wait, you're worried about me...?" He asked with surprise.
"...Don't get on this ridiculous thing." Thoughts of Dean falling from unimaginable heights and lying on the ground with a busted head and motionless sent a sharp pain through his chest. Dean couldn't help but feel a wave of happiness at the silent admission. That means he had to mean something to Cas, right?
"Come on..." He grabbed Cas' wrist, pulling him forward as the line moved. "Let me show you there is nothing to be afraid of." Cas still looked hesitant, but allowed the other to pull him up on the platform.
"You guys together?" The ride operator asked and Dean looked at Cas, waiting for him to answer.
"It will be fine, trust me?" Dean chose the word 'trust' on purpose, waiting for the other to respond with suspense. A small nod was all he got, but it might as well have been a shout. Dean felt another smile creep on his face. It wasn't a huge deal to most, but this was a big step for the two. Castiel was putting trust in him again. The two were herded over to and put in the odd bowl. Cas stared out nervously when the man shut them in and walked to the control panel. Dean's hand on his caused him to jump, but he calmed down slightly when he saw the reassuring smile on the other's face.
"It's fine Cas." He nearly relaxed completely at those words, but tensed back up when the ride lurch forward.
"It's moving? You said it didn't move?" He nearly stuttered out, the bowl swinging slightly. "Why is it moving?" Castiel felt fear of dying, and it was so odd. As an angel he worried little about something as trivial as dying. It was hard for him to remember why though, especially when the ground was moving away from him at an alarming rate.
"It's just a little rocking, it's supposed to do that." Dean laughed out, moving closer to the frantic man. He'd never seen him like this, scared, well not since...Dean shook his head, trying to keep the images of a scared Cas staring at him, because of him. He hated those looks. "Hey neat, you can see the sun setting." Dean smiled, trying to distract him while the ride continued to move them away from the ground. "This is one of the best ways to see a sunset."
Castiel stared out, forgetting his worries for a moment at the breath-taking view when the wheel brought them to the top. "...It is...amazing." He spoke in quiet awe. Suddenly he felt a pull of homesickness. A view like this was Heaven worthy and for just a moment, Castiel felt like himself again. He hadn't even realised a tear falling from his face until Dean's hand cupped his face, wiping it away.
"I'm sorry Cas. All of this has to be so hard on you." Castiel gave him his full attention when the ride lowered back down. "We'll make you whole again, I swear it."
"It has been no harder on me than it has you and Sam..." Castiel was born into the unreal, the hard to believe, but Sam and Dean were thrust into this life by fate. They were robbed of the chance to be like the people around them; those who ran around so freely, their biggest fear couldn't even compare to the Winchesters' everyday life.
"Yeah, well, that doesn't give me the right to make it worse on you baby." The word slipped out before he could stop it, and he rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. It remained quiet for the next few spins around, Castiel watching the sun disappear and stars appear.
"You've called me that before." Cas spoke softly. "...That night, I remember." He looked around cautiously when the ride halted, the two of them at the top.
"Ah...yeah...heat of the moment." Dean admitted, not really liking talking about it but knowing he couldn't avoid it.
"Why?" He wasn't a baby by any means, and the way Dean said it was with affection. "You said it like I am your car."
Dean laughed at that. "Hey, best compliment ever if you think about it." THe joke only got him a confused head tilt from the other and he sighed. "Because...ah hell Cas, making me admit embarrassing things all the time." He huffed again, his ears reddening, but he continued. "Sometimes you are just so cute, the way you act and the things you do...and I care about you."
"You love me." Castiel said clearly. "Still?" Dean had to work to keep the blush off his face when he nodded.
"Always. It's not going away. Love...it doesn't go away."
"...So it is similar to an angel's understanding of love." Castiel smiled then let it fall. "At least that is the way it used to be."
"Yeah, I'd love to do something to your brothers alright..." Dean joined him in a frown.
"Is that why you att-...raped me?" Dean hadn't been ready for that and clenched his jaw, looking at the ground.
"No...that...that wasn't love I showed you." His voice was just above a whisper. "That was...anything but love." Dean let the memories of that night play in his head. Castiel drunkenly smiling at him, trust clear in his eyes when he saw Dean's face. Castiel inexperienced kisses, between moments of unconsciousness; him taking advantage of every ounce of trust given to him. God, he hated himself on a new level.
That was something right there.
"Over the years, I have also found myself having unexpected feelings toward you." Castiel could see Dean's inner battle on his face. A few months ago, it would have made him disturbingly happy but now...He found himself frustratingly confused. Sure, he still felt anger rise inside when he caught himself dwelling on that night; and some days he couldn't even handle hearing Dean speak without wanting to snap at the man, but this was Dean afterall...Out of all the bad he'd done, there was a mile of good following too. He couldn't put that aside over one very large mistake. Could he? This was so much easier as an angel.
"Oh?" Dean actually sounded surprised, then scoffed. "Bet I blew that the shreds huh? It's what I am good at, you know? Destroying the things I cherish most."
It was Castiel's turn to look at his feet, thinking about his next words. The ride was slowly lowering, people exiting the ride cart by cart. Just before it was there turn Cas took a breath. "Didn't you just say that love doesn't go away..." Dean's head shot up to look at him, hope floating through his eyes. He didn't have time to speak because it was their turn to exit. When they reached the ground safely Cas turned to look at the green eyed man. He was smiling with such sincerity that Cas found it contagious. He had just given Dean a true second chance, and all the hope he was capable of.
"We should head over to the haunted house now, right?" Cas asked, pointing in the direction the map earlier had indicated.
"Huh, oh...Yeah!" Dean was still smiling like a five year old, a good mood put in him for the rest of the night. "Hey...where's Sammy?" He asked, realizing his giant of a brother was not where he left him. Castiel looked around as well.
"Maybe he is already at the house?"
"He knows I hate when he disappears like that..." Dean's sounded worried.
"Well then don't drag me to places I hate for your own twisted amusement." Sam's voice immediately relaxed the older brother and Castiel smiled. Dean's feelings for Sam could never be hidden. He was pretty sure he loved his brother more than anything in this universe. When they turned to see the tall brunette, he had his arms filled with toys.
"Oh yeah, you really look like you're having a horrible time." Dean chuckled reaching up to pull at the moose hat sitting on his head. "What is all this?"
"I'm surprisingly good at ring toss." Sam shrugged, a smile growing on his face. "And there were no clowns there...Here." He handed the stuffed giraffe to Castiel, who quickly snatched it with a smile. He had no idea why he liked this animal so much, but they were just so...interesting. Next to bees that is. Sam just chuckled too before handing Dean a stuffed squirrel. He got a punch in the shoulder for that, but it was light.
"Come on guys, play time's over, let's go check out this house." Dean said, tucking the small stuffed animal into his leather jacket. He smiled to Cas as three walked off. Castiel tilted his head, but smiled too.
His grace was still lost, the road ahead was as unclear as his relationship with Dean. Castiel looked to the sky and sent out a prayer for protection as he stumbled through this temporary life of a human.
That's right I ended it with a possible sequel...What of it?
Don't kill me please...
I just couldn't think of a better way for it to end right now. I tried, I did. So, expect a sequel at some point. Castiel trying to get his grace back, and the rebuilding of a broken relationship. It will probably take place a while in the future. I probably won't post that until it is complete though.
If I have learned anything from my random jump into writing, it is that "Writing is Haaaard" and better when you have at least a few chapters done before posting.