"Care to explain this, cher?" Will asked as he held up the pregnancy test he had found in the trash can of their bathroom. JJ blanched a little as she slowly shook her head back and forth. "It looks like this is a positive pregnancy test. Only, we haven't slept together in about two months, so I highly doubt that this is my child. Care to tell me what's going on?"
She shrugged a little, looking down at the floor, unable to find the words that would explain to her lover that she had been unfaithful to him. After all, she wasn't quite certain what had come over her that night, when she had had to write her exit interview from the BAU. After she had left her papers on Strauss's desk, she had had every intention on walking out the door and never looking back.
All that had changed when Strauss had caught her at the elevators on the ground floor, slightly out of breath, her eyes full of fear and concern. What had followed was an intense explanation of why she hadn't been allowed to turn down the position at the State Department, and a hurried meeting with Matteo Cruz. She had just been about to leave the BAU for the second time when she happened to glance into the bullpen, wondering if she would ever see her friends again. There was no telling with the assignment she had been asked to do, and that thought filled her with sadness, more sadness than at the thought of never seeing Will ever again.
Hotch had chosen to step out of his office at that moment, his briefcase in hand, a haunted, sad, look on his face. JJ hadn't been able to stop her feet from making their way over to him, and they met in the middle of the deserted room. What happened next was the culmination of all the pent up repressed sexual tension that had thrummed beneath their skin from the moment she had joined the team. And she had thought that her momentary indiscretion would be kept in the dark forever, since they had both sworn it was a one-time mistake.
Biting her lip, JJ looked down at the floor and shrugged one more time. "I thought that I wasn't ever going to see them again. I thought that I really was going to the State Department. In the heat of the moment, I made a mistake."
"Let me guess, you just had to have your moment with Hotch," he spat out and she shuddered a little. That tell must have been enough for him, as he shook his head in disgust. "Typical, Jareau. I'll be spending the night at a hotel."
He stomped from the room, and JJ winced as the front door slammed closed a few moments later. From the way his tires squealed out of the drive, she knew that he was furious, and the first tears began to roll down her cheeks. Knowing that she couldn't afford to lose her cool, especially with her returning to Afghanistan the next day, she blinked rapidly as she made her way upstairs to see if Henry had slept through their argument.
Quietly slipping open the door, she tiptoed into the room and let out a soft sigh to see her baby still sleeping soundly. Only, he wasn't her baby any more, that position would be filled by the life currently growing inside her. Sinking down onto the mattress next to Henry, JJ brushed a piece of hair out of his eyes before leaning in and kissing him. She would miss seeing him when she was over there, a continent away and unable to Skype home, due to the sensitive nature of her mission.
"Mommy will always love you, my little star," she whispered before kissing him once more. Standing with a sigh, she made her way over to her bedroom. It felt empty without Will there, and she wondered if she could ever make things right with him. There was little chance of that happening right away, and she could only hope that she could finagle a call home in the next few days, so that she could start to rebuild her relationship.
Another broken sigh slipped from her lips as she undressed. Once she was completely naked, she went over to the full length mirror that stood in the corner of their bedroom and studied her appearance. There was just a hint of a bump there, and her brow furrowed a little as she ran her hand over it. "I really hope that no one notices you," she whispered to her stomach. "I know that this mission is really important, and that it's going to be both mine and Strauss's job on the line. You know, baby, she seemed almost human as she filled me in on this mission. It was Cruz who seemed the most gung ho about having me over there. I'm trying not to question that too much, but it does make me wonder, even if he is a nice man."
With one last stroke, JJ moved over to her dresser and pulled out a tank top and shorts. It didn't take her long to dress for the night, and then she was trudging over to her bed, throwing back the covers and slipping beneath them. She flopped onto her back and closed her eyes, trying to will herself to sleep, but it seemed like the Sand Man was staying far away from her bedroom that evening.
Popping her eyes open, she looked at the ceiling and let her thoughts run wild. There was a good chance that Will would use her time overseas as an excuse to move back to New Orleans, taking Henry with him. And he would be justified in doing so, since she had betrayed him, and she wasn't going to be home a lot with this assignment. She wondered if Strauss was having the same thoughts, since she would be over there with JJ for much of the time. It would be odd to be in close quarters with her, since they had never really gotten along.
The rabbit trails that her mind kept wandering down kept JJ up most of the night, and it was only when she had four hours before her alarm would go off that she finally fell asleep. And even then, her sleep was troubled, filled with dreams of Will chasing her, of Strauss protecting her from him, of Hotch looking at her in disappointment as she told him that she had lost their child. And so, when she woke up at five, she felt even more tired than when she had fallen asleep, and could only wonder if Cruz would allow her to sleep on the plane. She had no doubt that Strauss wouldn't mind that, but there was no telling with the other man. He was still such an unknown factor, though she assumed that that would quickly change.
Groaning a little, she stumbled out of bed and stumbled over to her dresser, taking out a long sleeved shirt and a pair of jeans. Not bothering with a shower, she quickly dressed and made her way downstairs. There was a pot of coffee on the counter, and she frowned a little before seeing the note resting there.
I couldn't leave Henry here alone once you left. I'm in the living room, but I really don't feel like seeing you this morning. I'll talk to you as soon as you're able to give me a call. I still love you, I'm just really pissed off right now. Stay safe over there.
JJ smiled as she read those words, knowing that there was hope for her relationship working out, she would just have to be patient and not lie to Will any longer. She had to provide Henry a stable household, that was the most important thing in the world to her. Filling her travel mug with coffee, she headed out to the garage, her mind swirling with the possibilities of her future.