A/N: This fic was inspired by a conversation on the Morgan/Garcia Shippers: The Wednesday Night Girls Facebook page.
Song Lyrics are from, "I Can't Make You Love Me" by Bonnie Raitt (Songwriters Michael Reid and Allen Shamblin)
Turn down the lights
Turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me
Tell me no lies
Just hold me close, don't patronize
Don't patronize me
She bent down and blew out the candles fighting with all her might the feelings of disappointment and anger. Once again his job had taken him away from her and she couldn't help but see it as a confirmation that she wasn't first in his life.
She'd finally gotten it right…the meal that is; well, adequate enough to not have to order out. She'd set the dining room table, lit the candles and dimmed the lights; she smiled as she surveyed her handiwork and rushed around the corner to greet him when she heard his key turn in the door. Their eyes met, he looked so exhausted as he pulled her close with one hand while holding his go bag with other.
He kissed her lightly on the lips and then she saw the telltale look in his eyes; the one that said he was about to disappoint her…again. She refused to acknowledge it or give it audience so she turned out of his arms, grabbing his free hand and pulled him into the dining room.
"I made dinner!"
She looked back at him waiting for his approval.
"Savannah Baby, this…you did this for me?"
"Yes and I didn't burn it or have to place an emergency call to Panelli's for take out!"
He pulled her against his chest and wrapped his arms around her waist. As he buried his face in her hair she waited for him to give her the news.
"I've got a case."
She pulled away, still with her back to him already the tears beginning to well in her eyes and she refused to let him see.
"Can't you stay long enough to eat?"
"I wish I could. I'm sorry."
"I know, I know, it's your job."
"I wanted to come and tell you in person. I know it's been tough lately and…"
"Derek, please just go; don't make it harder than it has to be."
She turned and saw the hurt in his eyes and for a moment she felt vindicated. Why shouldn't he be hurt? She thought to herself as she watched him without protest turn and head out of the room and up the stairs to their bedroom to grab fresh clothes for his go bag. It seemed easy for him to…to what did they all call it? Compartmentalize, yeah, that was the term. She never understood their language but at any rate, he was good at what he did. He was able to keep everything and everyone in his life in their separate places with ease. Not her. She always wondered why she'd very seldom been brought around the others he called his family and why he never insisted on spending time with hers. She didn't want to doubt him, his sincerity and commitment to her but then there were the nagging voices that seemed so loud during times like these when he'd take a call and cancel plans and walk out with bag in hand…she hated that bag, such a looming presence as he slung it over his shoulder, kissed her goodbye…walking out the door without looking back.
He felt like a heel, an A-Number-One Jerk. It would have been easier to just call her but he needed to feel guilty for some odd reason, he deserved her wrath and she deserved so much better. He loved how she'd tried so hard to learn to cook and as smart as she was, he was afraid that the art of cooking even the simplest of meals would always elude her. He had to admit that he loved her efforts, the dozen or so cookbooks that she'd purchased over the last several months, the weekend cooking classes she'd tried to drag him to and the failed attempts at dishes even Rossi probably couldn't pronounce. No one had tried as hard to make him feel loved and no one had cared enough to stick around and put up with his impossible hours and single-minded dedication to his job. He wanted things to work between them, he needed them to work but he didn't have to be a rocket scientist to realize that he was failing miserably.
BAU Headquarters -
She often wondered what it would have been like had their friendship taken a different turn. Oh, there'd been many times that he'd hinted at there being more between them and she'd done her share at throwing out hints that the door was open but they'd both shied away and they'd each had a million excuses why they shouldn't risk it. Still, even though theirs was her most treasured of all friendships, her mind still wondered and her heart still dared her to take a chance on the man who had already done more and meant more to her than anyone else ever could.
It didn't take much for her to realize that he wasn't in a good place when he joined the rest of the team in the conference room. Like always, he'd play it off when asked how he was. He'd deflect her question by asking about her wellbeing and he'd rush from the room toward the jet before she could insist on a real truthful answer. Then, like she always did, she would wait for him to come back to her ready and needing to talk.
"The bodies of three men have been found in or around downtown Los Angeles in the last three weeks…" Hotch began.
"Wow, that's a lot of rage!" Rossi pointed out.
He frowned as he looked intently at the pictures on the board.
"According to the coroner's report each man suffered blunt force trauma to the head and multiple stab wounds to the face and upper torso." Hotch continued.
"This looks personal." Morgan noted.
"If the UnSub stays true to pattern we have five days before we find another body. Let's stopping him before that happens. Wheels up in thirty."
The team filed out waving and nodding at their technical analysis as she stood near the door bidding them safe travels; Morgan was the last to leave and without a word he lingered long enough to pull her into a silent embrace kissing her on the top of her blonde mane then stepping past her out the door.
"Come home safe, my love."
He turned slightly back toward her with a slight grin on his face.
"That's the plan."
Home of Derek Morgan -
Savannah sat in the den curled up on the couch in the spot he normally occupied on the rare evenings when they spent quiet time watching movies and enjoying just being in each other's company. She drained her glass and reached for the bottle that sat just within her reach on the end table. It was empty and she cursed to herself; she didn't feel near drunk enough for her satisfaction. She contemplated opening another bottle but she knew her thoughts of more wine were merely a diversion from allowing her mind to become occupied with thoughts of Derek.
They had started easy enough and the first few months were magical she'd gotten caught up in the idea of no one knowing about them. He'd wanted something in his life that the others didn't know about except for of course, Penelope. He never kept anything from her. Savannah didn't mind she just wanted to get to know her mysterious neighbor next door. He wasn't much of a talker but he never failed to mention his best friend; they shared everything it seemed and Savannah wondered how much about their relationship he had shared with his best friend.
'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something that it won't
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't
Los Angeles, CA Morning –
It was 9 a.m. when the team stepped into the large busy precinct. The others in the room barely acknowledged their presence as they strolled toward the center of the room. Hotch noticed a detective heading their way. Rossi noticed her too as he cleverly stepped around Reid and stood next to Hotch…almost too close earning a curious glance from his friend.
"Wow, that was a quick trip!"
"We left as soon as we could." Rossi blurted out just before Hotch could respond.
Rossi grabbed the detective's extended hand while the other's looked on struggling to hide their smirks of disbelief.
"Thank you all for coming…"
"I'm David Rossi; this is SSA Aaron Hotchner our unit chief, SSA Jennifer Jarreau, SSA Derek Morgan and Dr. Spencer Reid."
"Lt. Ana Monteiro, please forgive me if it takes me a minute to remember all of your names."
"Not a problem." Hotch said resuming control of things.
"I've got a room set up for you if you'll just follow me."
Derek placed a firm hand on Rossi's shoulder as Hotch led the team after the Lieutenant.
"Easy Cowboy, you're looking a little thirsty!"
"C'mon, Morgan, we're hear to solve a case..."
"Right. I know that look, Rossi."
"… And if I happen to meet a new friend in the process, then it's been a good trip."
Morgan patted him on the back and nudged him forward grinning as they picked up the pace to catch up with the others.