DISCLAIMER! Please read!

The protagonists of the following one-shots are the children of Thorin Oakenshield (modern AU John Thorington) and my OC, Wren (modern AU Wren Leary). they have appeared previous in some of my other stories, if you need clarification, feel free to message me!

Thror (modern AU Thomas): basically mini-Thorin.

Unna (always Unna): royal pain in the sensitive areas, daddy's girl.

Dain (modern AU Dane): best from Wren and Thorin, pure magic, rainbows, unicorn and merengues, and every girl's dream. Basically Sam Heughan in "Outlander" :D

Othin (modern AU Oliver): appearance based on Dimitris Alexandrou, heartthrob of Erebor, no fear, always a smile.

Mira: Wren's daughter from Amrod (modern AU Auggie Anderson), adopted by Thorin/John in all universes

Stories in this one-shot dump will have no rhyme or reason, will happen in different verses, and many characters who could never meet will be best of mates here :D

There will be modern AUs, Frerin is alive, and of course there will be age discrepancies :D But for Dain's high cheekbones and Othin's grins, you will forgive me, won't you? :)

I'll try to make it as clear as possible when and where the events are happening :D

I have Pinterest, and there is a board dedicated to Thorin/John and Wren's children there. Have a peek! And again Sam Heughan as Dain rocks! :P

This first one-shot was inspired by the photo of Dimitris Alexandrou, the face of Othin, in a tux and on a skateboard.


Middle Earth, 3009 TA

"If an Elf can do it, I can do," Othin is grinning giving a wide Dwarven shield in his hand a measuring look.

"Making premature, most possibly erroneous statements is exactly the definition of stupidity," Othin's older brother, Dain, son of Thorin, the second prince of Erebor is sitting on a bench, apple in his hand.

"Will you help me or not, lulkh?" Othin puts the shield back on the stand and picks up a larger one. "You fraternize with the wood wimps, you should know what and how." Othin places the shield on the ground and jumps on it. The shield rocks, but he keeps his balance. "A flat one would work better… But again, the pale wimp can do, so can I!" Othin turns to his brother and gives him a wide smile. "How do I look?"

"Like a Dwarf with bones that will shatter in a matter of minutes," Dain takes a large bite from his apple with gusto. "And the aforementioned pale wimp is Prince Legolas Greenleaf, Prince of Mirkwood, and a man who saved your father's life twice. Are we still insulting him?"

"Prince?" Othin is testing his shield wiggling his hips side to side, "I thought it was a lass." Having ensured the steadiness of his toy, the youngest Prince of Erebor lifts one foot and pushed from the ground. With a screeching noise the shield moves several inches ahead. Dain cringes from the noise and from the view of paint and wood slivers burst from under Othin's rather impressive weight. Dain's younger brother is completely Dwarven in appearance, having inherited his father's wide build and dark waves of silken strands, nothing in him from his mother, a red-haired woman of Men.

"Should I call Oin now or we will wait till you decorate the Lower Passage with your teeth?" Dain has finished his apple and throws the core into a narrow window behind him. They are in the Erebor Viaduct, there is the Low Passage below them, an open gallery, with stairs leading down to it, and Othin has dragged his transport to the edge of the staircase.

"I think we need a bet. It is dull without a bet," there is a helmet of Othin's head, but Dain doubts it is an adequate precaution. The staircase is long and steep.

"Alright, if you fall and smash your face, we will not tell amad that I was here and did not stop you," Dain offers and jumps off the bench.

"Deal, and if I win you let me train with adad's sword for one day," Othin gives his brother one of his myriads of grins. Othin smiles, always, sometimes sunnily, sometimes it is more of a snarl, but never a gloomy face. He also knows no fear and there is not a single maiden in Erebor who is not at least slightly infatuated with him. Many married Dwarven dames might also sigh when he passes by.

"Half a day. You get half a day with Orcrist if you slide down these stairs on this shield without falling off and jump off at the end as smoothly as Prince Legolas Greenleaf." The answer to him is a wide radiant grin.

"Still think it was a lass," quips Othin, son of Thorin Oakenshield and Wren of Enedwaith, healer from the city of Dale, and he jumps on the shield, pushing away with his other foot.

The shield slides down the stairs with a deafening rumble, Dain has half a thought of squeezing his eyes and turning away, while Othin looks like he had just found a treasure bigger than the riches of Erebor, and with a victorious 'hee-yah' he surges down.

Dain rushed to the stairs, to see for himself, and if needed to pick up his brother from the floor, and in front of his eyes the edge of the shield snatches on the last step, and together with the third prince of Erebor, the already distorted piece of wood and steel flies aside.

Othin lands on his backside and emits a tirade of the most exquisite swearings in Khuzdul. Dain discreetly exhales in relief and bounces down the stairs to his brother, who is still sitting on the ground shaking his head.

"It was an Elven shield for sure, they are probably as smooth as their chins," Othin gives his verdict and gets up with a groan.

"Amad will never find out of this," Dain shakes his finger in front of his brother's nose.

"Agreed, and we are only telling adad of it if the second attempt is successful."

Othin is marching up the stairs already giving the shield stand an evaluating look, when Dain exclaims behind his back, "What second attempt?"


amad = (Khuzdul) mother

adad = (Khuzdul) father

lulkh = (Khuzdul) oaf