By: Rogue Fox
A/N: Well, I did it. By popular request, here it is. A romantic fic in the POV of everyone's favorite lunatic, (not me!) Yami Malik. Oh my god, I seriously scared myself with this one. Yami Malik's head……… :shudder: Don't go there. It's scary. ;; Oh, by the way, I did this one like you're listening to Yami Malik's internal dialogue. Very scary.
People are the funniest damn things in the world.
Doodling in melted cheese on the countertop is fun……… Um, what was I thinking about before? Oh yeah. People are funny. Ha ha……… Just watch them sometime. They're damn hilarious. Um, I think I lost that train of thought. Oh well. Malik just came in.
" Yami! What are you doing!" he shrieks at me.
" Um, drawing?" I suggest, attempting to sound kind. That's hard, you know. Sometimes Malik can be a little slow. I mean, it was pretty obvious that I was drawing.
" I can see that!" he shrills.
" Well, why'd you ask, then?" I ask, annoyed. Malik sighs in exasperation.
" Why are drawing in melted cheese on my countertop?" he asks me. His countertop? When did it become his countertop? I thought I made it quite clear that I own everything in this house. I let an eyebrow rise questioningly.
" Cause I wanna." I tell him. Guess what? This conversation is boring. " Can I have booze?" I ask.
" No." Malik tells me. This, I am not liking. Since when do I let him tell me what to do? And then, that little voice of reason in the back of my head speaks up and reminds me that I let him tell me what to do cause I like him happy come nightfall……… That makes things so much more pleasurable. So guess what now? This conversation is boring too. Malik seems to be in a boring mood. I need to fix that.
" You're no fun. Maybe you should have booze." I suggest. I like Malik better when he's fun. He's not fun now. Now he's boring. Boring Malik. Ha ha ha……… That sounds dumb.
" No. I'm not going to get drunk so you can knock me up." He tells me harshly. Well, he saw through that easily enough. I can't seem to decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Oh well, why decide? Too boring. And I'm too bored as it is. I wanna have fun.
" I don't need to knock you up." I tell him. He glares at me over his shoulder while he tries to mop up my pretty picture. How sad……… Bye bye, pretty picture.
" Don't even think about it. It's the middle of the day and I promised Ryou I'd go with him to the movies today." He tells me. What! And why was I not informed of this! I bristle automatically.
" You didn't mention that to me." I growl. Malik flashes me a worried glance. Yeah, you'd better worry, little hikari.
" I just got off the phone with him. I came in here to tell you." He says. Humbug. He just killed my reason to be mad. I like being mad. Things are so much easier if you're drunk or mad. Then, if you're me, pleading insanity works wonders. " Yami Bakura wants you to come." Malik adds. Ah, I see. Wittle tomb wobber is afraid to go into da big wide worwd all awone? Ha ha ha ha……… Funny. But then again……… I don't wanna deal with all those icky people. They're all smelly and nasty and yucky and they make Malik annoyed and I don't like it when Malik gets annoyed. But……… What an opportunity! Havoc! Mayhem! Madness! Rubber Duckies! Ummm……… I'm not sure where that last one came from. Hee hee……… Rubber duckies……… What was I thinking about? Oh yeah. To go or not to go? Interesting. Not really. Simple choice, actually.
" Are you gonna come or what?" Malik asks impatiently. Ah, I'm not that stupid. Stupid's funny word. Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid………
" What are the rules?" I ask. Malik grins.
" What a good yami!" he cooes, patting my head. That's annoying. If he wasn't my favorite toy, I'd rip that arm off and shove it up his ass. " The rules are you can't cause mass hysteria and……… Just try to be normal, okay?" he asks. Normal?
" Define normal." I request.
" Act like everyone else." Malik tells me.
" That's boring!" I cry, already bored with this conversation. I walk over to the table and begin to rummage through the cereal box there. I know there's a toy in here somewhere! I don't really care that I'm spilling cereal everywhere.
" I know, but if you wanna go, you're going to have to keep it to a minimum." Malik tells me. Mi-ni-mum. That's not a funny word. Especially in this situation.
" I guess." I mutter. " Aha!" I cry triumphantly. I giggle when Malik jumps.
" What!" He asks. I grin at him and hold up a plastic figurine of some cartoon. It looks like a big pink bunny with over-large eyes.
" I found it." I inform him.
" You're going to use that as an effigy, right?" Malik asks, making a disgusted face.
" Maybe." I say, drawing the word out in a manner I know Malik finds annoying. That's fun to do.
" Because that's that stupid Funny Bunny. Burn it, I refuse to sleep in a room where that is." Malik tells me. I frown. Malik's not happy. The bunny made him sad. That officially sucks. Bad bunny! I don't like things that make Malik sad. I really don't. I smile widely as I crack the bunny's arm off. Bad bunny indeed. Bad bunny has to be punished. My grin stretches more as I snap its head off. Very bad bunny………
Malik's a neat freak. I'm not. Right now, Malik's cleaning up the cereal mess I made earlier. He knows we should be going if we're gonna meet Ryou and the tomb robber on time. I like to be on time. Call it a fettish. I don't like cleaning. And I don't like the pants Malik's wearing. If they make me want to drag him up to bed and screw him, they're going to make someone else want to screw him too. And that isn't allowed. I might have to punish that someone like I punished the bad bunny. No one makes Malik sad.
" Okay, we can go now." Malik says, walking toward the door. I note that the cereal is gone. I wonder if he threw it all away. Probably. Malik says food gets icky if you let it touch dirty things. I don't know about that, but I am sad that all the yummy cereal is gone. It was my favorite, too. But I don't like icky things, because Malik doesn't like them.
Malik's happy now. I like it when Malik's happy. It makes me happy. It makes me want to run in circles and scream. I don't see a problem with this, but for some reason, Malik seems to think screaming that I think he's a sexy god is a bad thing. He says I can run in circles if I want, though, so I do. I can't help it if my hikari's sexy. Why shouldn't I tell the world that my hikari's sexy? Happy Malik……… He's smiling now. I like it when he smiles. It's like the sun is burning at its brightest, and all the mountains look smaller and all the oceans less deep and all the colors less bright in comparison. Nothing can compare. I wonder if I only think this because I don't think like everyone else. I know I don't. That's kind of obvious. I don't know if I'm crazy, like Isis always says, because I'm not sure what crazy is. I know it means someone who can't really see reality the right way, but how do you know what way is the right way? How can you know, if everyone see everything differently? I know what I see, even if it is different or even not right. And I see Malik smile. I hear Malik laugh. That's good. I like that. He sounds happy. I wonder if the Pharaoh and the tomb robber feel like this when their hikari's laugh? Like everything is so very right……… There is no bad when Malik laughs. That makes me feel a little lost, because I don't know what to do when there's no bad.
" What's the matter with you?" Malik asks me. The matter? Oh, he wants to know what's wrong with me. Well, aside from the obvious………
" Nothing." I say. I'm not lying. I have to lie to Malik a lot, and I know it makes him sad when he finds out. Actually, he starts yelling at me. I don't like that, because he always gets sad afterward. But I have to lie to him sometimes, because I know the truth would make him sad and it's worth risking getting yelled at to prevent that.
" You've been awfully quiet." Malik notes. Then he gives me a suspicious glare. " What are you planning?" he asks. Well, I know I'm trusted.
" Nothing." I repeat defensively, which is true. I'm not planning anything. Yet. Insert maniacal evil grin here.
" Just promise not to do anything too drastic." Malik requests. I frown thoughtfully, wondering exactly when things get "too drastic."
We do manage to get to the appointed meeting spot, both on time- yay!- and without causing any major disasters. The thing with the truck doesn't count. He was being a jackass, and he deserved what he got. I hope he's having a good time in the Shadow Realm. Heh-heh……… Oops. The tomb robber was asking me something and I wasn't paying attention. Umm………
" Yes." I say automatically. Maybe that will appease him. Or not, judging by the expression on his face. " No?" I suggest sheepishly. Nope. That didn't work either. " Maybe." I say. Now he's giving me a weird look.
" Where you even listening?" he asks. Busted.
" No." I answer. He rolls his eyes.
" I don't even want to know what's going on in your head." He declares. I decide not to tell him. " I wanted to know if you want to come with me while those two watch their movie." Bakura asks, motioning to our hikaris, who were discussing what movie to watch. I sure as hell didn't want to go with them. Movie theaters are amazingly boring. However, if I went with the tomb robber, I was bound to have some less than moral fun. But I'd also be leaving Malik behind unprotected. Big no-no. The tomb robber seems to read my mind. " We won't go far." He promises. Now he has my attention.
" Whee! Fun!" I exclaim, jumping up and down. Malik casts me a look I can't read and turns back to Ryou. What's going on in that pretty little head of his? I bristle a little when I realize that he's blocked me out of his head. Naughty Malik. I'm the yami here, and I own you.
I've suspected for a long time that Malik loves someone. I don't know who. He blocks his mind off, even in his sleep. He's a clever one, my hikari. I know it's not me that he loves. He hates me. But I'm not sure who he does love. Isis, obviously, but she's his sister. He's got more sense than to fall for that Anzu girl that's always hanging off Yugi and the Pharaoh. And Mai isn't his type. Shizuka, that blonde doof's sister, is too young, and I really can't think of anyone else. Any other girls, that is. Which makes perfect sense. My little aibou is sleeping with me.
You're probably wondering how I can be so at peace with the fact that the object of my adoration hates me. That's fine. I don't think I could handle it if he loved me the way Ryou and Yugi love their yamis. I'm not the kind of guy who accepts love, whatever the hell that is. Just so long as Malik understands that he belongs to me and me alone, that his soul was made for mine and vice versa, I'm happy. Well, content. Not even that, really. There's a lot of shit about being a yami that kind of makes it hard to be happy.
Anyway, guess what? No, nothing's boring yet. There's a mall right next to the movie theater! A mall! Yay! The absolute perfect place to cause utter chaos and hysteria and then slip into the crowd and not get blamed! For the tomb robber and I, fun consists of figuring out how to cause all sorts of chaos and avoid getting blamed for it. Of course, when we're in more mellow moods, we've been known to just play practical jokes on each other and the Pharaoh, who is nowhere near above dealing out his own pranks in retribution. Anyway………
Hey, I remembered that train of thought I lost earlier! The one about people being funny! Heh-heh……… People are funny, from a distance. I like to avoid icky, stinky mortals when I can. They're so wrapped up in their own little dramas that they can't even see some pretty obvious shit around them. For example; hello, geniuses, your planet is dying under your feet! There are little kids who have to drink water cows pissed in and starving to death because no one has a few measly cents to buy them a piece of fruit! But hey, you don't care. As long as you and yours are okay, the rest of the world can fuck off, right? Pretty funny. One of these days, all your mistakes are going to rear their ugly heads and bite you in the ass like a venomous snake. Trust me about this, I know. I know all about past mistakes suddenly slapping you in the face, poisoning you……… Making you suffer until you've paid your dues. Yeah, I know all about that. And trust me, just because I know about it doesn't mean I'm not going to laugh my ass off when it happens to you. Cause I will. Actually, I'm already laughing.
" Whee!" I cry joyously. The tomb robber rolls his eyes. Aw, up yours, you stiff.
" Keep it down. The idea is not to draw attention to ourselves." He tells me. I stick my tongue out.
" Where's the fun in that?" I ask. The tomb robber chuckles and nods to our left. I follow his gaze. There's a group of girls standing there, goggling at us and giggling like the set of idiots they are. Oh, this has such wonderful possibilities.
" They've been following us around since we came in." Bakura informs me. Oh, really?
" Huh. Wanna have some fun?" I ask.
" Hell yeah." He automatically responds. Whee! Fun! I turn and follow the tomb robber into a store and behind a rack of books where they can't see us. " Flip a coin over who has to talk to them. Loser goes." He tells me, fishing a coin out of his pocket. Damn it, Malik has the Rod. I can't use it to make him believe he lost. Which means, I have to do this the old fashioned way.
" Heads." I say as he flips it. We both step back and let it fall to the floor, then bend down to inspect it.
" It's tails." Bakura announces, flashing me a gloating grin. I wince.
" I don't wanna talk to them!" I whine.
" You lost, fair and square! Now go get 'em!" he tells me, shoving me out of the store. Ick. They're staring at me. I know I'm good looking, I just have to look at Malik to figure that out. But really, do they have to stare at me like that? I feel like I'm on display or something. Which pisses me off.
About fifteen minutes later, the group of idiots are all blubbering in the girls' bathroom. The tomb robber and I effectively scared the shit out of them. I won't go into detail how. But I will tell you that it was extremely fun. A few people stare at us as we walked into the main part of the mall, which was probably on the account of the fact that I was grinning widely, which always tends to make people nervous. I pretend to lunge at an elderly lady, which makes her squeal like a pig. I laugh. Mortals are so funny. And then I see him. The Pharaoh. Woohoo, this is gonna be fun……… Unfortunately, he seems to get into a fight with his precious hikari……… Funny as hell. He goes into his soul room in a shimmer of light, and I wonder what that was about. I decide I don't wanna know.
The Pharaoh's hikari is pretty, in his own little way. All childlike and cutesy, bright sun rays peeping shyly over the horizon just as dawn breaks. Like ginger, sweet and yet slightly spicy and tangy. Not yummy, though. Oh no. The thief's hikari is silvery and pretty, like dainty beams of pale moonlight shining brightly from the moon's lonely perch, all pale and pretty and frail. Like vanilla, cool and subtle and yet strangely distinguishable all the same. Not like mine. My own pretty one, mine. All mine, just for me. Mine, with sun-kissed skin that tastes of salt and cinnamon, hair soft and fragrant like flower petals. Mine, all pretty-lovely and yummy, tasty and just for me. Mine, burning like the sun over the desert I miss deep down inside, shining bright for all to see. Yes, let them all see. Let them all see my pretty, lovely, tasty, yummy hikari. Mine. No one else's. Mine. Let them all see, and be jealous. Mine. All mine. The soft hair, the tanned skin, the lithe form, the big round eyes, the slender hands……… All mine. I know every inch of him better than I know anything else. Sometimes I know nothing else.
I can't think about him any more, or I'll be reduced to a babbling idiot, and I haven't sunk that low yet. But I spend the next hour and a half in simmering agony. The tomb robber doesn't speak, and I know he feels it too. We're waiting outside the theater when they come out. Pretty, nummy-yummy. Mmm……… Moon and sun. The thief can have his precious moonlight, moonlight that he lives by. He can have his moon-hikari. The Pharaoh can have his cutesy sunrise-hikari, and keep walking his fine line between night and day. I'll have my sun, thank you. I'll walk the dark alleys of murder and pain and darkness that I know so well, and I'll have my sun, my precious sunlight, sun-hikari. I'll wrap him up in the warm, familiar, hellish darkness that is a part of me. I'll smear the blood of those that make him sad across that sweet body of his. I'll watch those lovely-soft eyes of his dance in his own personal light. I'll let him go on hating me.
Sweet-soft Malik, smile, laughter, sugary sweet to see and touch and taste……… No idea in that yummy-yummy head of his how much I adore him. My lovely-pretty hikari. Mine to love, mine to hate, mine to paint with blood.
We're free now. Night has come, with it a chill that bites……… Bites. Hee-hee. Sweet-soft hikari, lovely little one next to me, pulsating with warmth and comfort. My little lovely. Kill for him, yes. Make the icky streets bright, pretty red. Show him that I can, will give him everything. I'll paint the world bloody red, so those pretty, wide eyes will shine and he'll laugh at the silly mortals. Silly, icky yami. Silly, pretty hikari. Hate me, adore him. Icky yami. Pretty hikari. Paint the streets. Paint him. Malik looks lovely-wonderful in red. He likes it when I think like this.
Blood tastes metallic. Blood tastes like darkness. Kill for the pretty hikari. Paint it all red. I see, I hear, I think, I feel differently than the others. Paint it all red so all I can see is pretty Malik and red. That's all I ever want to see.
" You'd like him, wouldn't you?" I ask the stupid mortal woman who looked at my pretty-soft Malik too long. Stupid woman. As though she would ever be good enough for him. No one is. A god is below him. Why he takes me, I'll never know. " He's soft and tasty, you know. Pretty, pretty, pretty. You see the gold? Gold all over. I put that there. I paint him in blood, in gold, in jewels. All mine, not yours. Never yours. Mine. Yummy, and all mine. You don't touch what's mine." I tell that stupid mortal woman. She screams and cries. Stupid woman, shut up. Malik thinks your voice is terrible. Itchy-scratchy and nasty. You made him sad.
" Yami, she sounds like nails on a chalk board." He tells me. I can hear the wince in his voice. I can see in my mind exactly how that perfect little nose will crinkle up and that round mouth will pucker and those dainty eyebrows will raise in disgust. That's not nice. That's mean. Malik's sad. Pretty-soft so sweet, she made him sad. I don't like that. I wanna see the red.
I force her head around so she has to look at him. I grip her by her hair and slide the golden blade of the Rod over her throat, making her weep in fear. Ha ha ha………
" Shut up, stupid. He doesn't like you nasty voice." I snarl. She complies very quickly. Malik's lips part in a small snicker. " Do you ever wonder about death?" I ask her. " Do you believe in a god?" The icky mortal woman doesn't respond. I think she's too scared. " You don't touch what belongs to me. Don't mess with things you don't understand." I advised her. " Oh, and by the way……… Are you scared of the dark?" With that final question, I yank on her hair and she starts screaming again. Malik, sweet aibou, winces again as she does. Then I press the blade against her throat and make a slow, deliberate slice, watching Malik's eyes gleam as the slippery redness of blood spills over my hands. But she's not dead yet. Oh no, I didn't cut too deeply. I cut a little deeper. And a little deeper………
Malik giggles as the screaming stops. Pretty little soft perfection, have I spoiled you? Have I ruined your sweet with my bad? Giggle giggle, pretty Malik, I like it when you giggle. You think sad thoughts. You feel sad things. Soft-sweet of mine, why do you giggle when the red paints the ground? I giggle, I laugh, I shriek, but I'm different. Bad me. Gorgeous-sweet, you're right. So so so right. So sad, my pretty-pretty, so sad. Why? You love another, I know, warmy-sweet, but I want you. Pretty Malik, all mine, let me paint you in blood. I know you hear me think, I know you see my thoughts splash across the walls of our shared consciousness like pretty, violent colors. Sad-sweet, why? You don't answer. I know. Prettypretty sweet-love, I know you. I know you inside and out. I know the way your eyes flash in fear, in hate, in lust. Sweet-soft, I didn't know I could adore anyone like this.
I paint him red, red on the cheeks where I grabbed his face and kissed him. Red smeared across his chest, down his back. Red from the hands that the blood spilled over, warm and slippery and soft, my hands. Sweet little one, who would make those lovely rose-petal lips turn to a frown? Tell me, so I can rip their heart out. Pretty sweet, don't love me.
/ You're difficult to understand, Yami./ my sweet whispers in my mind. I have him pressed to a wall, kissing him hungrily.
/ Sweet, you're so sweet./ I murmur. I know he loves it when I do that. / Don't try. Don't fret your pretty head, sweetness./ I tell him. He moans a little under my touch.
/ I want to understand you./ he protests.
/ That'll take the fun out of it./ I mutter in response. He doesn't consciously pursue the topic after that. I catch snatches of thought floating through his soft little mind as we make love in that back alley, walls, street, sweet hikari, and icky yami all splattered in red blood. Things like, "I hate you," "Don't leave me," "Understand," and once, "I can't, even if I want………". He's very good at blocking me out at just the right moment.
Pretty Malik, soft and sleeping in my arms. Carry him home to nice Isis. Can't take care of him. Just can't. I killed his father. Nearly killed him. He hates me. He always will. Oh, my sweet-soft hikari, hate me. Hate me. Keep hating me. Don't ever stop. I adore you. I worship you. I think I love you. But I need you to hate me. Ha-ha, silly yami. Silly silly yami. Bad yami. So bad. Never, ever, ever have the pretty hikari completely. He loves another. I let him, he's happy. I like Malik happy. There's no bad when Malik smiles. Bad yami made him sad. Bad yami must be punished. But how? Make me go away from Malik would be good punishment, but Malik would be sad. Hikari needs yami, yami needs hikari. Malik would hurt. How do I punish me? Silly, silly yami.
People are the funniest damn things in the world.
I laugh, a sad, funny, strange laugh. Stranger here, not right, don't belong. Pretty Malik, sweet Malik, my only. Mine. Bad, silly, awful yami. Bad me. Silly me. Gods, give me back a little of what I had. I don't remember……… Before the dark, when pretty-soft Malik was a dream. Shadows in night, when no moon gleams. No hikaris. Bad coming……… Different. Hate. Oh gods……… I am insane. There is no bad. Pretty Malik, sleeping in the bed while I watch him. Watch his chest rise and fall in rhythmic breathing. He's smiling. No bad when Malik smiles. Just lost. Lost, silly yami, all alone in the night. Little hikari hates him. The world hates him. Supposed to be dead, gone, bye-bye. Gods forsake him, no one will have him. Pretty hikari is all he has. Pretty hikari hates him. No bad when Malik smiles. All I have. My all. Mine. And yet, not mine. Never mine. Bad yami. Bad, bad, bad yami. All alone in the night. The red on his cheeks that didn't quite come off. My sweet, broken, blood-painted, stained, wonderful, sad, soft hikari. I broke you. I still break you. You hate me. I love you. Bad yami. No more now. Time for sleep. My head hurts. I think I thought too much. Pretty hikari all painted in red. Never leave me, my lovely-soft. Sweet-soft, goodnight. Goodnight, love. Hate me always, love me never. Goodnight.
A/N: Well, that was just weird. If you got any of that, you're very special. My head really does hurt, so excuse me while I eat my ever-faithful Advil. Don't forget to review, folks!