I love this story, I have a lovely connection with these characters but I have to confess that I've had a bit of a block on it for a while. It seems like it does come to me, but it takes ages.
I don't want to rush it. I think it and you deserve better than rushed, crappy chapters. So this is why it's not been updated as much as I would've liked.
I've tried putting it down and working on other stories and that seems to be working! Woohoo!
I love Pussyhound because he may act like a hound but I think he's really more of a pussy (cat.)
I love you guys!
I don't own Twilight.
I open my eyes and immediately realise that we've stopped. I quickly glance over at Edward's seat but he's not there. Panic and confusion start to spread through me as I sit up and look around. Finally I spot him in the gas station, I shake my head and laugh nervously at my own pathetic silliness as I watch him walk out holding a bag. His brow is furrowed and concern is etched on his handsome face.
I can only imagine that it has to do with what happened to me and I just want to smooth those lines away with my fingertips, lips and tongue. I close my eyes and lean back against the head rest again, my head feels completely messed up as well as incredibly sore.
I hear him buckle up and the car starts to move again. I peek at the clock display and realise that I've been asleep for over an hour.
"Have a nice sleep there?" He laughs and glances at me as he turns the heat up.
"Yes, thanks." I smile and then I feel it disappear when I remember what he said about James. I feel like I need to know more.
"So you and James were friends?"
He turns to look at me while we're at a stop light, before returning his attention to the road. I wait patiently for him to speak.
"I met him while I was going through a difficult phase. My only goal in life was to simultaneously; piss of my Dad and get laid."
He laughs bitterly and shakes his head.
"I know that probably isn't nice to hear Bella but I want to be honest with you."
I nod my head and then realise that he can't see me with his attention on the road.
"Okay, I get that and I definitely appreciate the honesty."
"It wasn't long after I turned sixteen. I started going to parties, crazy parties. I would drag Emmett with me, until he got his act together and that was when I met James." He glances at me sideways, as though he's gauging my response.
"It was the first party that I went to on my own, I was completely pissed at Emmett for abandoning me, when in walked James. He had girls hanging off him and it was known that he could get drugs which made him even more appealing. We were pretty inseparable for a few years until he changed. I think I changed too, I stopped taking drugs and I wasn't into the party scene as much." His eyes slide over to me again quickly.
"I only did it whilst at parties and never anything too hard. James on the other hand, he was on some really hard stuff and I don't think he ever really understood why I wouldn't get into it." He shrugs his shoulders before continuing.
"I guess I had some level of sensibility. Well after that he started getting into other things, sexually, and would talk proudly about how he'd treat women badly. Don't get me wrong, I know I'm no angel, but I always make sure that they know what the deal is. I wouldn't ever hurt anyone physically. I knew he was into some tough shit and I even knew that he found it hard to hear the word no. I can't help but feel partially responsible."
I watch his face and see a mixture of sadness and regret colour his features.
"There's no way that you are even a tiny bit responsible Edward." I can feel the tears well up in my eyes as I see how much he's beating himself up over this.
"I wish I could believe that but he probably wouldn't have done what he did, if he hadn't realised that you were with me. He's still bitter about how I left things."
"You are not responsible. He is. He's sick."
He turns his head at my passionate outburst and it makes me jump when he suddenly bangs his palms on the steering wheel.
"I want to fucking kill him for what he tried to do to you. How he touched you. You deserve better than that. You deserve better than all this."
A heavy silence hangs between us as I try to digest everything that he's said. Is he saying that I deserve better than him? I don't even know what we are or if it's going to last but I want him in my life. I can't describe it but it feels like I was meant to meet him. I examine his side profile, every inch of his face seems familiar and safe.
He reaches behind him and grabs the bag from the gas station out of the back and passes it to me.
"I bought some drinks and snacks. Help yourself."
He turns briefly and smiles.
I delve into the stack of snacks and pull out a candy bar and a bottle of water. He pulls out a bottle of coke.
"How's your Dad? I'm not pulling you away from him, am I?" I ask between mouthfuls.
"No, he's fine. He has Jessica and Carlisle Cullen is dropping in on him most days."
"That's good, I'm glad he's doing better." I rub his arm in what I hope is a comforting gesture.
"Me too. I've wasted too much time being pissed at him. He's not perfect but he's the only Dad I've got."
"I think it's great that you've managed to forgive him. It shows what kind of man you are."
He shoots me a questioning look.
"What kind of man am I then Bella?"
"Kind, caring, generous. Hot." I laugh as he pulls a face at me.
"Well I know that last one." He drums his fingers on the steering wheel.
I roll my eyes and laugh.
I hear my cell as it starts ringing and I dive into my bag to find it. I turn to Edward as I read the display.
He nods as a response and turns down the music as I answer the call.
"Bells, I'm not at home tonight, I'm working a night shift but you know where the spare is. Let yourself in. Is it Alice or Rose with you?" It sounds like he's walking.
"It's actually Edward who's bringing me." I grip the phone tightly, his warm, familiar voice makes me long to see him.
"Who?" His gruff voice is suddenly guarded. I quickly clarify.
"Edward Mason." I twirl a piece of hair in between my fingers, nervously.
"Eds boy? Why's he bringing you?" He sounds confused and I wince slightly at his sharp tone.
"I'll explain later, I can't wait to see you Dad."
"Me too Bells. I hope you're alright? Your friend can sleep on the couch. See you tomorrow." He enunciates couch.
"Yes, I'll be okay. He will. Love you Dad."
"You too, bye." He hangs up and I stare at my phone until it automatically locks.
"Everything alright?" Edward sounds nervous and I bite back a laugh.
"He's cleaning his guns, ready for our arrival." I can't stop the laugh this time and he rolls his eyes.
"Seriously?" Both his eyebrows are raised and I'm sure that I can see a bead of sweat on his perfect forehead.
"No, he won't be home until the morning but he said that you've got to sleep on the couch. Sorry." I suddenly realise that I'm just assuming that he's going to stay. I peek over at him.
"Unless you weren't planning on staying?"
He tilts his head to the side and then sighs.
"I'd rather stay tonight and make sure you're alright. I can always book into a hotel if it's easier."
"No. I mean it's fine, Charlie's fine with you staying."
"That's sorted then. I'll stay for a night and then I'll set off."
I nod, gratitude wells up inside of me. He doesn't have to stay, he didn't even have to bring me here. He did though, and that means the world to me.
We talk about music and light subjects as we drive towards Forks. The atmosphere lifts and we both end up laughing and smiling. Everything seems momentarily forgotten as we tease and joke.
Edward's phone starts to ring as we are arguing light heartedly about our favourite TV programs. He glances at it and then slowly pulls over to answer the call. I fiddle with my sweater while he gets out of the car. I can't help but watch as he paces back and forth, he looks angry.
He gets back in and we take off in silence.
"Is everything okay?" I can't take the sudden tension in the car, it was going so well.
"It's fine, just work." His answer is short and abrupt and I don't attempt prying any further.
When we arrive at my childhood home it's pouring with rain and we both make a run for the front door. I find the key under the fake rock on the porch and we both walk in. Edward immediately takes my bags upstairs and he dumps his behind the couch.
He paces until I can't take it anymore.
"Edward, what's wrong? You're making me feel really anxious."
He strides over to me and he grabs my face gently in his large hands.
His eyes search for something before his lips collide with mine. It seems frantic and my lips move in time with his. I feel his tongue as it plunges into my mouth and it starts to seem desperate. I pull away and try to regulate my breathing and heart rate. I place my hands on his chest.
"Whats wrong? Tell me, please. I want to be here for you."
He shakes his head as he answers.
"Nothing, I just want to be with you. I want to forget everything." His hands smooth over my arms and my body reacts to him immediately.
I take his hand and pull him towards the stairs. I walk up slowly and lead him into my room. The bed is already made, not that it would've stopped me. I just want to feel his skin on mine, feel that closeness. I feel like he's gone somewhere in his head and I don't like it.
We pull at each other's clothes as we kiss. When we are both naked and I can feel his warmth against mine, we pause as I run my hands over the lines of his gorgeous body.
His eyes still look lost and I make him look at me.
"Don't leave me, stay here."
He rests his forehead against mine and sighs.
"I'm still here."
There's a loud knocking on the front door and we both stare at each other for a second before I get up and rush round, grabbing my clothes. I pull on my jeans as I rush for the stairs.
I take them two at a time and run my fingers through my hair before pulling the door open.
"Oh wow. Hey B."
Jake is stood on the step with a big grin on his face. This isn't what I was expecting and the thought of Edward naked in my bedroom is making the idea of slamming the door shut and bolting it, really tempting.