Blood Red and Sky Blue

Disclaimer- I don't have any rights to Evangelion so don't sue!

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The bang was loud, louder than she had expected. She felt a burning force cut into her abdomen pulling her up against the cool white walls. The pain wasn't what she called excruciating, a sharp tearing sensations that stung like a bitch, but she had been through a thousand times worse. She felt her legs go out beneath her, making her slowly descended down the wall and to the marble floor. She looked down, at the warm gash in her stomach and at the beautiful shade of red that was now dribbling out of it and onto her pale hand. She looked at the contrast thinking there was nothing more lovely. She was dying, slowly dying. And nothing could be better. She felt an icy chill start to cover her body starting from her bloody fingertips, up her arms and slither down to her toes. The only place that was warm was the burning hole in her side, which was now hypnotizing her with its wonder. The syrupy substance coming out of her was endless and all she wanted was for it all to stop. She wanted the voices screaming to stop, she wanted time to stand still and she wanted to have this moment forever. She was dying. She thanked the god who had betrayed her so many times for his kindness. She managed to look up, but it was hard because her head was oh so heavy and it was oh so hard to tear her vision of the image of her spiritual freedom. The gun was still smoking; it was a shiny silver magnum. 'A classic' She thought simply. Her head rolled uncontrollably to her shoulder. Her eyes glazed over as she watched her killer drop the gun in shock, and looked ready to run any moment. She managed to find sound again much to her disgust and delight and she rasped,

"No, don't run away. Stay and watch, stay and watch me bleed. Please. I'm going to die soon, soon I'm not going to exist at all. Stay and watch, and tell people I was real after I'm gone." She smiled and held out her bloody and shaky hand to the killer, who merely took the moment to run away. Her eyelids soon felt heavy, but they were still on warm red spilling on the cold white floor. She could hear footsteps becoming louder and then a shrill scream.

"Asuka! What happened?" The suddenly foreign purple haired woman inquired.

"I was shot. Can't you see?" She laughed in response, wiggling her bloody fingertips in front of the woman's face with childish delight.

"Your in shock. I'll get doctor." The woman began to stand up but Asuka grabbed her arm with fierce strength before she could leave.

"No." She said weakly, "Why would you want to do that?"

"Asuka! Now's not the time. You were shot and now you're bleeding to death." Asuka merely clamped down more.

"Then let me die." The woman stood rigid horror painting her worry stricken face, but Asuka went on, "You know it isn't so bad. The noise was really loud and then there was this tearing feeling in my insides, then a burning. But it's okay, I'm going to die, I'm going cold see! It doesn't hurt. Everything is just really soft. Feel" She offering a cupped hand filled with her own blood to the shocked major, "The blood feels like silk. Feel it. It's so soft. Like it isn't even there." She then turned her hand over and let it slide off. The purple haired woman was stunned.

"Now look who's in shock." She laughed. Then she caught sight of someone else and let go of the woman. There standing perfectly erect was the Doll, watching with those swirling red eyes reflecting the beautiful red blood covering her wound. It's seems even ghosts haunt the dead.

"You like to watch people die don't you?" Asuka snarled at her. The doll always took away things that were precious to her.

"No, it something I do not enjoy viewing, but I do except the fact we all have to face our mortality eventually." She said coolly and collected. Once again the purple haired woman interjected with her booming yet unsteady voice.

"Rei! Watch Asuka I'm going to get help!" And the woman was gone. Asuka was pretty sure that she left her with the doll because the woman herself was afraid of what she was seeing while the doll was not. Asuka sighed deeply.

"It looks like once again I'm too embrace death with you present." She said directing her stare to the single drop of blood on farther away white tile.

"What do you mean Pilot Shoryu? If you are speaking about the angels-"

"Shut up and go away," Asuka interrupted, why couldn't she have anything to herself. Why was she always forced to share? First share her mother with the stupid doll, then EVA with the other children, Kaji with Misato, her home with Misato and Shinji, nothing was ever hers, nothing. Only her soul was hers and it was so twisted and messed up that she didn't even want it. Besides her soul already belonged to the grim reaper. Asuka had realized after her mind rape that she must of unwittingly sold her soul to it when she was young, when all she wanted to be was an Eva pilot and willing to give anything for the dream. The Doll still hadn't left and was now burdening Asuka's freedom to die.

"Damn Doll." She muttered venomously. She had to get away from it or it would ruin everything. So with all the strength she had left Asuka heaved her massive body up and broke into a full out run. She couldn't feel anything, she couldn't feel the screams of her body when she ran, not the warmth in her face from running or the burn her legs from the pace. She couldn't hear anything, not even the echoes of her feet stomping down the hollow halls and the air rubbing past her eardrums.

All she needed was blue sky, beautiful blue sky. The doll had made the once beautiful blood red ugly, because they were like here cold eyes. The once warm velvety blood had lost all feeling. So had the sterile white floors that look like the doll's skin, they both sickened her now. Blue, was all she needed, blue like the endless sky, blue like her endless eyes when she looked in the mirror.

Some how after running non-stop incoherently she made it to the doors, but before she could reach the warm light she stumbled into something, making her fall down. Now on the ground what strength she had, had been lost with her loss of wind. She was so close she was oh so close she could almost smell the grass and not the pungent aroma of formaldehyde. She could almost feel the salty tears beginning to lace her eyes. She would crawl if she had to.

"Asuka, I'm sorry-" The blockade cut his words short as Asuka began to scrape her damaged belly across the floor, leaving a trail of blood as a slug would slime.

"ASUKA!" The blockade helped her up and she actually could recollect his name.

"Thank you Shinji." She muttered for the first time probably meaning it aswell. Then she watched her now pale hands leave claw marks of red on his shirt. "I'm sorry about your shirt. Blood doesn't come out easily you'll probably have to buy a new one. I have to go outside now." And began an unsteady dance towards the door. She quickly found Shinji under her arm with a very forlorn look gracing his youthful face,

"What happened Asuka?" He probed gently. Asuka smiled in response, saying,

" I was shot." Shinji's eyes widened in horror and she realized that they had blue in them too, but much darker.

"Why?" He said with an obvious fright in his voice.

"Because I'm a killer."

They stepped outside. There was the sky waiting for her, the immortal sky. Asuka desperately ran to the grass and collapsed taking laboured breathes until her lungs burst with semi-clean air.

"Asuka!" Shinji cried out in concern, "Asuka get up!"

"Why?"

"We need to get you to a doctor!"

"Why?"

"You're going to bleed to death!"

"So?"

"Don't you want to live?"

"Not particularly. Besides I'm a killer I should be killed just like he said." Sighed Asuka remorsefully.

"Who?" Shinji sat beside down beside her not sure what else to do.

"The man whose daughter I killed." She responded laxly.

"You didn't kill anybody Asuka."

"Sure I did. I must've killed when I was in my Eva. Fallen on a building or something and it collapsed on her. How horrific. What a monster I have become." It was said simply but had so much impact on Shinji.

"It wasn't your fault, she shouldn't of been there, you didn't know. None of us could. He shouldn't have shot you." He said in his most tender heartfelt tone. Asuka just laughed.

"Of course he should of shot me. I'm the perfect scapegoat. I'm evil too. Did I tell you I sold my soul as a kid to become an Eva pilot? I treat everybody like shit and I'm probably the most expendable pilot here."

"THAT'S NOT TRUE! Asuka you're ten times better a pilot than me-"

"Oh save it Shinji, this my pity party not yours. I'm dying and you know what? I don't really mind." She took a deep satisfying breath. "But you know what my only regret is? It's that I've never known love after my mother died." Shinji watched a single tear escape and roll down her face. There was a long silence then a sound from Shinji.

"I love you Asuka." He said. Asuka merely rolled her head in his direction and smiled,

"No you don't, but it makes me feel good to hear you say it. Come on and lay down on this soft naturally fake grass with me." He honoured her wish and lay beside her. There was a short raspy gasp from Asuka, and his eyes went wide with fear, but it was merely a result of her amazement towards the sky.

"Look at how beautiful the sky is. Have you ever seen something so lovely? I would have never of noticed. That would have been a tragedy wouldn't it?" There was a soft silence.

Her hand found Shinji's and she could feel its warmth. The warmth of life, he was the only thing she could feel. As everything grew dark she could hear the yells of people and heavy thumps of feet, and she thought to herself.

'So, this is what peace is like.'

End

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A.N Okay so Asuka might be OOC, but it's just my interpretation of what would happen if Asuka was ever shot ( out of her Eva) after the mind rape, this is how she would react.

Did she live in the end? Well that's not really the point of the story, it's up to you the reader! So tell me if Asuka was as OOC as I thought she was and what you thought. I'm kinda going out on a limb here from my usual stuff and this is my first eva fic, so don't flame me do hard now! I'm not too great with heat, but constructive criticism is welcome.

So review! It's good for your Karma!