I did the Ipod shuffle for this Addisam one shot. They should have been endgame. I will never stop believing that!
1. Te Amo – Rihanna
2. I Wanna Dance with Somebody – Whitney Houston
3. 90's Baby – Karina
4. After All – Cher and Peter Cetera
5. The One – Tamar Braxton
6. Halfway to Heaven – Celine Dion
7. Live to Tell – Madonna
8. Why Not – Hilary Duff
9. The End of the Day – Connie Britton
10. Hard Promises to Keep – Trisha Yearwood
Song: Te Amo
"I love you, Sam," she says in a hoarse whisper as they glide around the length of the room together. They are at a ball –a 500-hundred-dollar-a-plate charity affair. No one else is close as they move brilliantly together beneath the light emanating from the candelabra. They are equal parts graceful and sultry. Also, somehow, incredibly in sync.
"Sam?" She prompts, daring him to reply.
He just lets go of her arms, disentangling from her embrace and briskly walks outside.
Song: I Wanna Dance With Somebody
Artist: Whitney Houston
She finds him on the beach, shoes off, pants rolled up to his calves as waves crash over his feet. She is angry. "You know, Sam; I'm really fucking tired of chasing after men – including you." Her voices softens noticeably. "I told you how I felt and you just walked off. I get that maybe you don't feel the same way but just running out like that-"
She breaks off as he is suddenly closing the distance between them. He grabs her by the arm and pulls her close to him. His minty breath tingles her nostrils. "I wanna dance someone – I wanna be with somebody – who loves me."
"I already said –"
"I know what you said. But you said it in a low voice, a voice that clearly communicated to me that it was a secret. How you feel about me… You don't want anyone to know. I'm your dirty little secret."
"You are not. It's just Nae-"
"Naomi and I are over. We have been for going on five years now. When are you going to get that? She has no claim on me or my heart. Addison, my heart belongs to you but we can't be together because I want to tell the world I'm crazy about you and you want to hide. What happened to the fearless, brave Addison I once knew?"
Addison doesn't reply. She doesn't know how, but she feels the loss of his touch acutely as he lets go of her and stomps off down the beach.
Song: 90's Baby
The next morning at Oceanside Wellness, everyone is gathered in the break room talking. Somehow the topic turns to what everyone was doing (and wearing) in the 90's. "I had impossibly high bangs," Violet admits. "I used to gel them into place. Suave Maxhold was my best friend."
Everyone laughs. Coop looks at his wife. "What's your dirty little fashion secret, babe?"
"I didn't have one," Charlotte said indignantly.
"Come on," Naomi says. "Everyone was doing something in the 90's they regret."
Charlotte smirks. "It wasn't fashion-related. It was song-related. 'Ice Ice Baby' was my signature song. I blasted it from the windows of my red Convertible constantly."
Everyone snickers. Coop says, "I dare anyone to try to top that!"
Addison is trying to join in the fun but it's hard. Last night her heart was shattered.
She sees Sam come into the room. Their eyes lock and hold for a moment before he looks away. "Sam can top that," she says. "He had a Jheri curl – a holdover from the seventies – and his favorite movie was 'Pulp Fiction' because of it."
Laughter and jokes ensue. Naomi looks between Addison and Sam. "Hmm, I totally forgot about that phase of his. I must have blocked it out entirely."
Addison and Sam dare to take a look at each other. The look in Sam's eyes says it all – he recognizes that Addison will always know him better than anyone else, and vice versa.
But that doesn't mean they could or should be together.
Song: After All
Artists: Cher & Peter Cetera
Once again, she finds him on the beach – this time the little stretch of beach just outside their front doors.
"Here we are again," Sam says when he looks up to see her standing there.
"I guess it must be fate," Addison says.
"Addison –" Sam starts.
"Sam-" Addison says at the same time.
They laugh a bit, uncomfortably, of course. "You first," Addison said.
Sam splays his hands. "I'm in love with you."
Addison's eyes burn at Sam's admission. That's the first time he's really said those words. She feels her heart hammering and wants to move in for a deep kiss but senses that there is more that he needs to say.
"I'm crazy about you but like I said last night, I don't want to be your dirty little secret. I won't be."
Addison nods. "I realize that. I appreciate the sentiment even… I just don't want to hurt Naomi and Maya."
"And you think I do?" Sam asks. "But look, Naomi and I are divorced. She expects me to move on."
"With her best friend?"
"Maybe not," Sam allows, "but that's not her choice either. This is between you and me and no one else. Something keeps drawing us back together – call it fate or something else … But you have to want this too, Addison."
She moves to him and slides her hands up to graze the smoothness of his cheek. Even after five o'clock, he is as clean shaven as always. His skin feels hot and familiar under her palm. He is home to her, she realizes. She always knew that, deep down, but now she is forcing herself to admit it.
"I need you, Sam," she whispers huskily. She begins to lean in for a kiss and can tell he is drawing forward to do the same.
Their lips are a mere hairsbreadth apart when Sam stops. "I can't do this. Not if I have to keep being your secret."
"You know my terms," Sam says and he gives her a look that breaks her heart before turning and heading back to his place.
Song: The One
Artist: Tamar Braxton
That night, Addison can't sleep. All she can do is toss and turn and hear Sam's words over and over in her head.
"I'm in love with you."
"I don't want to be your dirty little secret. I won't be."
She watches her alarm clock. It's 3:15 a.m. She should be in bed with Sam right now, locked in his strong arms, listening to his steady breaths, hearing his heartbeat under her ear.
"Dammit," she curses and hauls off the bed. She is going over there. Right or wrong, she is going to lay her heart on the line and let the chips fall where they may and all that.
It's damp and cold as she runs next door bare-footed and pounds repeatedly on Sam's front door. The light comes on and she sees him part the curtain. He stares at her in surprise for a moment and then wrenches the door open.
"Addison, do you know what time it is?" He asks. "What –" He breaks off as she is launching herself at him. She yanks him into a hot, forceful kiss. He is slack in her arms for a moment and then returns the kiss for the briefest moments.
"Addison, you can't do this if-"
"You're the one, Sam. The one I love, always. I can't deny how I feel about you anymore. I don't want to. I'm ready to tell the world about us."
Sam's eyes grow smoky in the porch light. "You mean that?"
"Addison," he murmurs huskily and pulls her against him. He kisses her and then they walk into his house, slamming the door after them.
Song: Halfway to Heaven
Artist: Celine Dion
Their passion is exploding as they tumble backward onto the sofa, silently acknowledging that there is no way they will make it upstairs now.
His fingers hook in the waistband of her tiny boy shorts and he tugs them down. She rears up on him as his nails bite into her hips and his mouth finds her breast.
She moves her hand through the opening of his boxers and grasps him in her hand. He grinds out her name on his lips. Then he kisses her and the rest of their scant clothes come flying off.
Addison sinks down onto his hard shaft and screams as he immediately finds that certain spot on her. She holds onto his shoulders and rides him as he pumps his hips against hers. She is halfway to heaven when her orgasm hits and hard. When she comes she is soaring above it all, every care, every worry, lost in a heady haze of pleasure.
"I love you, Sam," she whispers as afterwards she collapses onto his chest.
He burrows his lips in her neck. "I love you too, Addie," he replies.
Song: Live to Tell
"Should we tell her together?" Addison asks as she and Sam walk into Oceanside Wellness later that morning.
Sam doesn't get to answer because Coop is walking by, interrupting them. "This sounds juicy," he said. "Tell who, what?"
"Nunya," Sam answers with a roll of his eyes.
"Well excuse me for asking," Coop says and walks away, but not before looking at them curiously. Addison figures that she had better get used to the questioning looks and uncomfortable questions.
"Where should we tell her?" Addison asks. "Not here… right?"
They spot Naomi heading towards her office. She gives them both cursory looks. "You two look serious. Got a secret you want to share?"
Addison looks at Sam and back at her best friend. "Nae, actually, can we talk to you in private for a minute?" Addison asks. She wants to get this over with now, she decides.
Naomi slowly nods. "Yes, this sounds important."
Sam shrugs at Addison and they follow Naomi into her office. It's now or never, Addison thinks and she and Sam begin to tell their tale.
Song: Why Not
Artist: Hilary Duff
Addison spots Naomi on the street the following day. Naomi sees her and starts in the opposite direction. Addison's not in the right shoes for running but she does just that, sprinting to her best friend. She still thinks of Naomi as her best friend. She always will even if Naomi wants to call it quits.
"Nae, wait, wait!" Addison calls to her.
Naomi stops in her tracks and points a finger at Addison. "Don't – don't you dare call me 'Nae' like we're still 'besties' or something."
"I still think of you as my 'bestie'."
"Addison, are you kidding? Best friends borrow each other's clothes, not each other's ex-husbands."
Addison sighs. "I don't want to fight with you. I just want my best friend back. You may not like that Sam and I are together but-"
"No, Addison, I do not like it. I hate it. How would you like it if I went after Derek? Would you be okay with that?" Addison just sighs. "What I really want to know is how long this thing has been going on? Two weeks, two months, two years … Since college?"
"Naomi, we did not cheat on you. Don't go over to the dark side."
"Why not? This is the dark side as far as I'm concerned. How long have you been in love with Sam?"
"Naomi, we didn't so much as kiss until a few months ago. We kept our distance from each other."
"For my sake?" Naomi said. She peered closely at Addison. "Ohmigod, why didn't I see this before? What an idiot I am! You've always wanted Sam, haven't you? You'd probably be together if I didn't meet him first. You'd have a child and a white picket fence and –"
"Don't do this, Naomi."
"Answer the question. Have you loved Sam all along?"
"I – yes, I think I have. But I never acted on it. Neither did he. We were completely true to you."
"Oh please. You both played me for a fool for over twenty years. You can both go straight to hell."
Song: The End of the Day
Artist: Connie Britton
At the end of the workday, Addison and Sam spotted Naomi holding a keyboard and lugging a big box after her.
"What's going on, Naomi?" Sam asked. He went to reach for the stuff but Naomi threw up a hand to stop him.
"Don't. Don't you dare."
"What are you doing, Naomi?" Addison asks.
"Isn't it obvious? I'm leaving."
"No," Sam said. "No, you're not leaving the practice over this."
"Oh I'm leaving town," Naomi asserts. She starts dragging her box again towards the elevator.
"Don't do this, Naomi," Addison says.
"Naomi," Sam calls to her, "why are you throwing away the best friend you've ever had?"
"You mean Addison?" Naomi asks facetiously. "I used to think she was my best friend but no friend of mine would betray me like this."
"She didn't," Sam snaps. "Addison has done nothing but worry about your feelings. If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at me."
"I'm mad at both of you. Now goodbye. Don't call, don't write."
"You're being so immature, Naomi."
"Go to hell, Sam."
And then the doors were sluicing open, Naomi was dragging her box onto the elevator, and she was gone where they could never hope to reach her.
Song: Hard Promises to Keep
Artist: Trisha Yearwood
The next three months passed slowly. Every morning Addison stepped into Oceanside Wellness, she expected to see light emanating from Naomi's office but she was never there. Sam had told her a million times not to feel guilty and she tried not to, but she missed her best friend, even as she was falling more and more in love with Sam every day. It wasn't any one thing that made her love him… It was everything about him that she loved.
They are snuggling on the sofa in his place one Saturday afternoon when her cell phone rings on the coffee table. Addison reaches for it and can't believe who's name she sees flashing on the screen.
"It's Nae," Addison says.
"Well, aren't you going to answer it?"
Addison isn't sure she's ready for whatever Naomi has to say but she presses the green button and puts the phone to her ear anyway.
"Naomi?" She says.
"Addison," Naomi says. "Is Sam with you?"
"Yes, he's right here."
"Good, put me on speaker because I only want to have to say this once."
Addison looks at Sam. "She wants to talk to us both."
Addison sets the phone between them after pushing the speaker button. "Naomi, what's up?" She asks.
"You know, I promised myself the day I left Oceanside, that I would hate you both forever." Sam rolls his eyes. "Sam, I know you're rolling your eyes. Stop it," Naomi says. "I didn't call to berate you two, believe it or not. I called to say … God this is so hard… I called to say I am … sorry."
"You're sorry?" Sam asked in disbelief.
"Yes. I'm sorry that I went off on you both the way I did, that I ran out, leaving the practice in a lurch."
"It's okay, Naomi," Addison says. "Just tell me you're coming back to L.A."
"Addison, I really can't come back. I met someone. His name is Chase Dorman and he's a freaking Greek god, no joke."
"I can't leave him," Naomi said. "I don't want to. I finally understand what you two are feeling – how crazy love can make you so no, I won't keep holding your relationship against you. Just know, Sam, that if you break Addison's heart, I'm coming after you."
Sam laughs. "Duly noted."
"Naomi, do you really mean all of this?" Addison asks.
"Do I seem like the type to play you?"
"No, definitely not."
"Then you have your answer." Just then they hear a voice in the background. Naomi squeals uncharacteristically. "Chase just got here. I have to go. Bye."
She hangs up quickly and Addison closes the phone, rolling over on her side to look at Sam. "That was the very epitome of unexpected."
"Yes, but you're happy about it right?"
Addison nods. "Yes. The truth is I missed my best friend. But I could never give you up either."
Sam stroked the inside of her slender arm. "I couldn't either. But this means we can stop feeling guilty and live our lives together the way we see fit."
"Together, mmm, I like the sound of that," Addison says and kisses him hard on the mouth. "I like it a lot."