Just a little light-hearted TG fic involving the ghouls chilling around and having fun. Because the manga and anime is angsty enough.

Thanks to yuuki24688 for beta-ing fic. Any remaining mistakes are mine.


Kaneki thinks that one major difference between humans and ghouls is how they act when they are drunk. Ghouls are more uninhibited, taking in alcohol like a fish to water whereas humans are more restrained in their alcoholic intake.

Kaneki remembered having been persuaded (forced) by Hide to loosen up a little after one of their major examinations. As a law abiding citizen, Kaneki usually frowned upon alcohol but as he rubbed his bloodshot eyes and saw a couple of eye bags beneath them, he decided that having a couple of drinks wouldn't hurt.

True enough, a couple of glasses reduced them to red-cheeked boys who may be a bit overly emotional when it comes to the misfortunes of being young. Homework assignments and exams in particular, ended up being a sore point for Hide.

"Oh woe is me! Why is an A so hard to get? Why must I shed my blood, my tears, my precious vitality and youth just to obtain a mere alphabetical grade in class?"

Kaneki, staring into the bottom of the sadly empty glass, shook his head in sympathy.

The truth is that both Kaneki and Hide were rather intelligent human beings. (At least, they were human beings when they were getting drunk. Time pass, shit happens and Kaneki ends up changing his species. All part of life, unfortunately.)

They were just students who needed a little break from all the stress of examinations. It's not like they have to worry though. Their scores in class are above average, hovering somewhere around wow-that's-not-bad to holy-fuck-what-on-earth-is-this-even-real. Also, being intelligent may probably account for their free pass for overly dramatic sighings and musings.

After a couple of glasses, Hide said morosely, accompanied by a slight drop in his pronunciation abilities. "There mus' be more to life than dis. Grades. Who needs 'em? I'm smart. Right, 'neki?"

To which Kaneki, still mesmerised by the glass in his hands, simply nodded.

"Hey 'neki, do you have a girlfriend yet?"

"What?" The spell broke and Kaneki looked up to blink owlishly at his friend.

"Not lis'ning to me," Hide complained.

"Sorry, a bit distracted." His gaze strayed back to the glass before snapping back to Hide's face when he scoffed.

"I'm more important than a glass! Anyway, 'neki, d'you have a girlfrienddd?" Hide dragged out the last syllable in childish glee.

With the same shy charm that earned Kaneki a huge fan base, Kaneki looked away and blushed. "I'm not thinking about getting a girlfriend. I'm more interested in my studies."

"Right," Hide nodded in mock seriousness, before bursting out, "But you're lonely!"

"What? No. I'm fine."

When Kaneki goes to scratch his chin, Hide could only mentally sigh. Too easy, this is just too easy. Like a lion going in for the kill, Hide crowed in victory, "Kaneki, we need to get you a girlfriend!"

Kaneki spluttered, his face flaring a deeper red than all the apples in the world combined.

Hide chuckled to himself and it ended up turning into gales of laughter that had the other patrons wondered to themselves if there was a lunatic on the loose. When Hide turned to face Kaneki and almost fell out of the chair, he grabbed hold of Kaneki's shoulder for support and announced to the whole world at the top of his voice, "Everyone! Get this guy a girlfriend! Cause he's so lonely he's going to cry like an emo!"

Amidst his friend's declaration, Kaneki slammed his head into the table in sheer embarrassment as Hide laughed wildly. Now, the patrons have reached a conclusion: Yep, there is definitely a lunatic on the loose.

So yes, Kaneki tries to avoid getting drunk with Hide after that. Hide is a good friend, but he can be a little loud when he is drunk and tend to talk. A lot. He can wax lyrical about his eraser ("Oh my precious stationery, making my world a little less dreary. Erase my mistakes and rise another day, over the rainbow and up up away!")

Well, yes, Hide talked a lot when he is drunk, but the amount of logic and reasoning that goes into his speech declines rapidly after his first glass. Kaneki learnt to take it all in his stride. From "Hey Kaneki, I think my pencil is a better friend than you," to "The fork and the spoon ran into a wall! Call the ambulance, Kaneki, god damnit! They can't die!"

It's better for all parties involved to simply accept these words rather than to dwell on them too long, Kaneki figured.

Since actions speak louder than words and Hide always had to be the loudest person in the room, there were also a few funny incidents like the time Hide picked a fight with a rubbish bin, and a few not so funny incidents when Hide picked a fight with a rugby player. And the bartender. And their girlfriends. At the same time.

Supposedly, intelligence isn't universal when it comes to alcohol.

Still, Kaneki was thankful that they had managed to escape in one piece from that encounter and he's both angry and annoyed at Hide for getting them into trouble. Although he had to tell him later; they were too busy exchanging shit-eating grins with busted lips and giggling between themselves.

Of course, if he thought Hide was bad, nothing could prepare him when he decides to get drunk with his ghoul friends on a whim.

After all, when it comes to ghouls, things are different. Way different. Uninhibited strength, mercurial temper, and dangerous mood swings where one wrong look can mean instant death. Oh, and who can forget?

Maximum violence.

In retrospect, Kaneki would rather take Hide anytime.

I have 2 other TG fics and am busy writing them but the idea for this fic kept niggling in my head and I eventually gave in (damn it, brain). I would consider this a side project to my other TG fics so I'll only upload this when I have the time. :)

If it's not too much trouble, please leave a review to let me know what you think. Pretty please with a fire-breathing dragon on top? :D