Author note: I do not own Yakitate! Japan, nor do I own Suwabara, Meister, Kuroyanagi or Monica.

It's been a while since I've written some Yakitate! Japan fics, and I think I'll be putting up mostly oneshots for this fandom until the inspiration strikes me to work on a multi-chapter fic. But still, I hope you all read, review and enjoy! Constructive Criticism is also helpful! Thanks! XD


The Traumatization of Kai Suwabara

Summary: Suwabara walks in on Meister reading yaoi manga. Utterly confused despite Meister's awkward explanations, he asks Monica to explain. And thus Monica is forced to explain to him what yaoi and yuri are, possibly traumatizing the poor samurai in the process.

Characters: Suwabara, Monica, Meister, Kuroyanagi

Pairings: SuwaMoni, MeisterxKuroyanagi


It all started with Suwabara walking in on Meister reading yaoi manga. It really did start with that. Suwabara had walked in to hand in a report (Kuroyanagi forced him to, being the childish Pantasia executive he was) and...well.

"General Manager? I have a report for you..."

"Oh! Suwabara-san!" Meister literally dropped what appeared to be a book onto the floor behind his desk, surprise crossing his face despite the mask hiding most of his face as he turned to face him. "I wasn't expecting you. Did Kuroyanagi-san send you?"

"Yes, he did. Said something about " The samurai baker approached Meister's desk, handing him the file. "Here."

Meister smiled, taking the file from him. "Thank you, Suwabara-san. You may return to your work."

The samurai turned to leave, ready to get back to work...

...and then he thought of the thing that Meister dropped only moments earlier as he entered the room. The samurai turned in a heartbeat to face him.

"General Manager, if you don't mind...what were you reading just now?"

"What was I what?" Meister repeated, blinking.

"Reading." Suwabara repeated.

"Erm, other reports from the South Tokyo Branch, as well as the Nagoya Branch..."

"...I don't think the book you were reading was a report..."

There was an awkward silence before the General Manager responded awkwardly.

"No, it wasn't. It was..." Meister could feel the embarassment coat his face as well as his voice, and he was grateful that he wore his titanium mask as he picked up the book from the floor behind his desk. "It's...manga. Yaoi manga, to be specific. Kuroyanagi got me hooked on it and I haven't been able to put it down since."

"I see." The samurai turned, presumably to leave the room, but realized something, turning to face him again. "...General Manager?"

Meister was a little worried now. Should he be worried for the young samurai baker in front of him? Yes. "What is it, Suwabara-san?"

The question Meister was dreading went through the samurai's lips only a moment later.

"What is yaoi manga?"

Oh shit. Oh shit. If there was anything the Pantasia General Manager did not wish to do to any of his coworkers, it was to scar them for life. Especially when it came to Kai Suwabara, who was practically living under a rock in comparison to everyone else in the entire country, Meister guessed.

"Uh...you've heard of manga, yes? Comics?"

The samurai merely nodded. Meister swallowed nervously. How should he explain this again? Taking a deep breath, he figured that he'd have to wing this.

"Er...yaoi manga is basically manga, except the stories within yaoi manga focus on relationships between, ah, men."

The samurai gave him a slightly confused look. "What exactly do you mean by relationships?"

"I mean by romantic relationships." The older man managed. This part was easy to explain, right? "For example, you know how Kuroyanagi-san and I are dating, yes? It focuses on relationships like that."

"I see."

"Though I would warn you that you should be careful if you plan on reading any," Meister continued. "Yaoi manga contains...some content that I'm not sure you'd be comfortable with."

The samurai raised an eyebrow. "Like what?"

...I just dug myself into a deeper hole! What to do, what to do... The poor General Manager wracked his brain until he thought of something.

"...Erm, actually, I'm not very good at explaining this. I, uh..." He hesitated, before speaking. He really didn't want to leave it in the hands of Kai's girlfriend, but he really didn't want to scar the samurai right now, either. "I think you need to ask someone else about this. LIke, say...Adenauer-san? Your girlfriend? She might know more about this than me."

"Ah. I see. Thank you, General Manager."

With that, Kai Suwabara left...to go to his scarring doom.


"Monica!" The samurai called out as he got back home.

"Kai?" Monica came running to him, a wide grin on her face. "You're back early!" She grinned, going and hugging him tightly.

"H-hey, wait! Don't hug me too much! I don't want to get you pregnant again!" The samurai felt his face heat up as he hesitantly hugged her in return before she let go of him. He still had to get used to the hugging thing. "I have a question and I tried to asked General Manager about it, but he told me that you might know better."

The Queen of Pattisserie blinked in surprise. "Huh? What is it, Kai?"

Suwabara took a deep breath. "Well, I walked in on the General Manager reading what he called this 'yaoi manga,' and I know from that it involves romantic relationships between men. The General Manager also mentioned that there would be content in such yaoi manga that I wouldn't like, but he didn't elaborate on what it was..."

Monica slowly nodded. She had this strange look on her face, and Kai couldn't quite tell if she was confused or understanding him.

"Well," She started, "I think I'm going to have to give you a thorough explanation about this..."

The samurai nodded, not expecting what would come next.

Monica took the time to sit him down, explain to him throughouly what yaoi manga contained, from kissing to holding hands to hugging, to...more intimate actives and certain positions/roles the characters would take in yaoi manga. She then went on to explain yuri manga, which was basically the same as yaoi manga except for the fact that it was focused on romantic relationships between girls and not guys.

And it was awkward, in a way. Really was.

So awkward that Monica wasn't quite sure if her boyfriend was actually taking it well or was slowly being scarred by such explanations on the inside.

"Erm, Kai?"

"Yes?"

"...Are you alright?"

There was a moment of silence before Kai finally stuttered an answer, his face red, and if there was anyone who would look close enough to a fangirl nosebleed, it was him.

"N-no."


OMAKE

Meister dialed Kuroyanagi's number into his cellphone as he felt his face heat up of embarrassment and mortification. He only realized just now that he sent the samurai to be possibly traumatized for life, considering how innocent the samurai really was in terms of things like this.

There was pause, before Kuroyanagi answered. "Hello?"

"Kuroyanagi-san," Meister started, unable to keep himself from staying too calm for the situation, "This is all your fault!"

"Wait, what!? Meister, is that you?"

"Yes, it's me! And it's all your fault! Suwabara-san is going to be traumatized for life!"

"Wait, wait...let me guess. When I sent him up there to give that report to you, did he..."

"Yes, he witnessed me reading that yaoi manga you gave me last week! And then I had to partially explain to him about what yaoi even was! And then he began asking about what sort of content is in yaoi manga and I couldn't just tell him! I didn't want him to be scarred for the entire rest of the day! And now I've sent him to his scarring demise at the hands of his own girlfriend!"

Kuroyanagi was silent, before he started laughing. "Wh-what!? Seriously!? Th-this is..."

"Kuroyanagi-san!" Meister huffed, trying to sound angry though he was failing due to his blushing so much. "This is serious! This is actually serious! If it affects Suwabara-san badly, it'll affect his work and I don't know how bad that will get..."

"Meister, calm down. He usually finds a way to get back into things somehow. Though I have no doubt that he's going to be scarred either way, so there's nothing we can really do about it."

"Ah, true I suppose..."

"Besides...if you're really that embarassed or pissed off about it I would be fine with visiting you tonight to help you calm your nerves a bit."

"Kuroyanagi-san, you're sick, and I'd also prefer not to be sick either, so I think it's just best if we both not be close to each other physically..."

"We could 'do it' over the phone if you really want that..."

"K-Kuroyanagi! We are not talking sex over the phone! I-I need to get back to work; goodbye for now!" Meister slammed down the phone as he heard Kuroyanagi burst into laughter, unable to keep himself from having his face heat up.

Damn. Meister decided from today on, he was never going to read yaoi manga in his office. Ever again. Ever.

Especially if it caused an embarrassing phone call with Kuroyanagi-san in the end.