SO I'VE POSTED A NEW STORY!
It's a Noblesse/Avengers crossover. Only 8k+ words rn. Link on the profile. Sorry if you thought this was an update :(
BUT, on the insistence of y'all I, your almighty lord, have included an omake of Rukia's reaction
Rukia was wary. Kaien-sama looked to be on Cloud Nine. Which shouldn't be possible as of two days ago. He seemed like a totally different person. She'd gone to Ukitake Taicho with her concerns. But the kind Captain had looked slightly amused as he explained to Rukia that this was how Kaien used to be.
That left her confused. Why would her mentor, who she knew to be a scowling, but kind teacher, be such a...goofy idiot? There was no way that wasn't an act. Obviously Kaien-sama, kind person that he was, didn't want anyone to worry. Yes, that must be the case.
But then she saw Kuchiki-taicho look at her mentor and only smile. She was confused. Kuchiki-taicho wasn't afraid to call anyone out on their shit. Why would he put up with this? But later, when she saw Miyako-sama, she saw that she too looked happy. Then it dawned on her.
Obviously Miyako-sama was pregnant! And of course Kaien sama was going to be happy to be a dad. Chastising herself for not congratulating her mentor, she quickly left to find him. On her way, she heard some people talking.
"Did you hear? Toshiro-taicho has been demoted to fukutaicho again. Matsumoto-san looked positively orgasmic when she was demoted to third-seat again." Rukia paused. That couldn't be right, even if it did sound like Matsumoto san.
"What?! Why?" someone exclaimed.
"It's true. They say that the old taicho has returned."
"Really? I wonder how powerful he must be..."
"Well, they say he trained Toshiro taicho, so pretty powerful, I bet."
Rukia shook her head. People would listen to anyone these days. Resuming her walk, she found her mentor. He was laughing like he didn't have a care in the world, holding on to a bowl of sake alongside Shinji and Urahara taicho. He seemed to notice her, just as she was to make her presence known.
"Ah! Rukia! What brings you here?" the merry man asked. Rukia cleared her throat.
"Well, I came to congratulate you, of course-" Kaien laughed.
"So you've heard? My, I couldn't have thanked the Reiou enough even if I had a lifetime! My brother finally waking up after such a long time!" Rukia, who'd been growing more confident suddenly lost it.
"I-what? Your brother?" she asked, clearly confused.
"Yes. His brother." a smooth baritone answered from behind her. Rukia turned around, first noticing the haori of the taicho of tenth division. Only it wasn't Toshiro-san.
It was Ichigo Shiba. Who was looking far too amused.
"You're a Captain." she said faintly. He raised an eyebrow.
"Yes." he said slowly. An awkward silence descended.
"Did you really train Toshiro-ta-I mean, fukutaicho?" Rukia asked, not really sure why she did. Shiba...taicho only looked more amused.
"Yes, I did."
"And the rest of the Elites who have control of their bankai, of course." chipped Kaien-sama in a proud tone. Shiba-taicho rolled his eyes, and an all too familiar scowl settled upon his features.
Rukia did what any sane person would do.
She kicked him in the shin.
"Ow! Whatever was that for midget?!" the orange haired man hissed.
"If you dare put Kaien sama through that again, I swear to the Reiou, I will murder you. And don't. Call. Me. Midget." with a final kick to his shin, making him hiss again, she walked out, but not after politely nodding to the hysterically laughing Shinji and Urahara taicho, and Kaien sama.
She only barely got to her room before she fainted of shock and embarrassment.