Hi it's me your favorite authoress {Elves and men run screaming in terror} I have taken to writing humor but don't be scared I will continue with Elloenen. Now then disclaimers: I own nothing by Tolkien {GOD} Also no offence is intended towards Microsoft, Bill Gates or other computer companies. My computer wasn't cooperating with me and I am taking it out on them. (Oh by the way Libeatgl= Bill Gates scrambled. He He)

It began with the formatting of the great confusing Floppy Disks. Three were given to the elves wisest, immortal, most confusing of all creatures, seven to the dwarves, great craftsman of 'some assembly required' toys, and nine, nine disks were gifted to the race of men who above all else are easily confused. But they all blinded for in the land of Microsoft the dark lady Libeatgl formatted in secret a master disk to confuse all others. One by one the smart lands of middle-earth fell to the confusion of the disk. But there were some who resisted. A last alliance of elves and (confused) men marched against the evil calculators of Microsoft. (Scene of people fighting talking calculators) The dark lady entered the field and confused half her enemies to death. It was in this moment that all sanity had faded that Isilidor; son of a slain king hit the big, shiny red button. Libeatgl uttered on final shriek (Which sounded like a dial-up connection) before shattering in shards of a CD. The disk passed to Isilidor who had this one chance to delete confusion forever. But the heads of men are easily confused. Isilidor kept the disk and it betrayed him to his death. (Scene of evil calculators killing Isilidor.) The disk was taken by the creature Golum who took it deep into the heart of the internet. Confusion spread across the lands of Middle-Earth, whispers of a nameless nonsense. The disk uploaded that it's time had come. It pulled a system failure on Golum and was picked up by a hobbit, Bilbo Baggins of the shire.

(Fast forward 60 years. We see Gandalf driving a bright red Comaro to the shire.) "You're late. Did you V.C.R. start blinking 12:00 again?" "No it did not and a Wizard is never late Frodo Baggins. See my watch says 3:30." "You need to get it checked. It really is 4:15. You are so dead when we get to Uncle Bilbo." "Why is that?" "He has been touchy lately, I mean it's gotten to the point that I wonder what crawled up his @$$ and died. One false move and he blows up at you. And you being almost an hour late is not helping matters any." "Well what about the party has he canceled that yet?" "Mordor no! Half The shire's been invited and the other half is showing up anyway." Frodo laughed. "Of course, of course. It was nice seeing you Frodo." "And you old man. See ya at the party." "Old man? I may look like one but I got plenty of life in me still." Gandalf muttered as he drove to Bilbo's house. The sound of Willy Nelson blaring on the radio showed Gandalf just how old he and his friend were. Valor! He remembered when Willy Nelson was young! (No offence meant to Willy Nelson and or his fans.) He knocked on the door. "No thank you! I don't want any more salesman, well wishers or distant relations!" Came the voice of Bilbo from in side the house. "What about very old friends?" Gandalf asked. "Your almost an hour late so NO!" Gandalf stood stunned then finally shrugged and went to the in to see if there was any good ale around.