Disclaimer: Ok...I don't own anything thats in Dianna Wynne Jones' book A Tough Guide To Fantasyland or any of her other books. Oh yeah... I don't own the Gnomic utterances either. I think I own the plot though. Unless of course some one else has taken it that I don't know about.

A/N: If you haven't read DWJ's A Tough Guide To Fantasyland then thats ok....this story will still make sense.

Chapter 1
In which there is an extreamly long line

The line of people waiting to bok a tour of Fantasyland was long and slow, filled with people of all ages and sizes. A little girl clung to her mother's skirt overwhelmend by the hustle and bustle of the little store on Main Street. Meanwhile an old man flipped through a brochure filled with pictures of "a range of spikey mountains from which a tall waterfall desends adorned with a rainbow at its crest. Along with huge and intensley gnarled trees in the foreground and a long line of horesmen making their way across a misty green plain." - TP The one picture that makes people want to book a tour. But this story isn't about the little girl, old man, or even...well...I suppose it would sort of be about fantasyland but thats not the point. The point is that this story is about the teenage girl who just stepped up to the counter at the front of the line.

Lauria Losturrien stepped up to the front counter. She had been waiting in line for what seemed like an eternity.

"I'd like to book a 1st brochure tour please," She told the clerk.

"One tour to Fantasyland," The lady said in an annoying sales person like voice, "Name?"

"Lauria Losturrien," Lauria said, "Ria for short."



"Will you be taking any luggage with you on your trip? If so please get in that line over there." The lady gestured towards the desk next to her. Another endless of people with backpacks and suitcases wound its way up to the desk.

"Uh, I wont need any luggage other than my coat and book. I heard that clothes were provided. Right?" Ria hastily told the lady.

"Right...very well," The woman replied, "Here is your meeting room number. You will find the rest of your companions waiting there." She tore a slip of paper from a small printer and shoved it at Ria. Ria scooped up her belongings and almost dropped her book, A Tough Guide to Fantasyland as she hurried to get out of line. Unfolding the slip of paper she read:

*Name: Losturria, Laurien
*Age: 14
*Luggage: Nothing
Meeting room: 117
Tour # : 10,392,245,336,001
*If we made any mistakes please get back in line and let us know

Glancing back at the long line to the clerk's desk Ria groaned. At least her age was right. She would just have to live with being "Losturria, Laurien" for the time being.There was no way she was going to get back into that line. Ria sighed and trudged over to a door labled "Tour meeting rooms 1-117". As Ria opened the door it creaked and moaned as if it hadn't been used in awhile. Right after she stepped inside and let go of the door it slammed shut making Ria jump. Looking ahead of her all Ria could see was hundreds of doors with little plaques that read: "room 1" and then "room 2" and so on and so on. Yet again Ria let out a loud, exasperated sigh, figures she would end up having to walk down a hallway even longer then the line she was just in. Just as she suspected the walk to room number 117 was long and boring. In fact, Ria had gotten so used to the rows of wooden doors with numbers that if she had not smacked into the wall at the end of the hallway she probably would have passed number 117 by. She thrust the heavy door open to reveal a cozy little room filled with about 9 tourists, 10 including herself. They were lounging in comfy chairs that surrounded a tiny coffe table in the center of the room. Ria took her place in an empty chair.

"Oooooh!" The girl next to her cried pointing to Ria's book A Tough Guide to Fantasyland ,"I've read that book at least one thousand times if not more! It has such cool information in it!"

Ria stared at the girl. Who would read a travel guide more than once? When Ria didn't say anything the girl began to ramble on and on, "Whats your name? Im Kit! 'Ask any question you please of the gods they dont have the answer' Ko'a Orto'o, Gnomic Utterances, IIXVI! Gnomes were soooo smart! Dont you agree? The have the most famous sayings! I memorized them all!" While Kit was talking Ria just stared at her. The girl had fiery red hair just like Ria except instead of green eyes this girls were robins egg blue. She was dressed in black jeans and a white tank top with a jacket thrown over. Compared to this Ria felt unkempt in her dirty blue jeans and 2 sizes too big T-shirt.

"Im Ria. And um...yeah...gnomes rock!" Ria said when Kit finally stopped talking. She was going to say something else when she was interupted by a tall man who had just walked in.

"Welcome tourists! Im here to help you get started! Now, as Im sure you all know, as soon as you walk through the portal to fantasyland you are on your own with only your companions to help. There are some rules however. You must not tell anyone from fantasyland that you are a tourist! You will be supplied with money, horses, a saddle bag, and apropriate atire. Now whos ready to go to Fantasyland?!?!"

Cheers could be heard from every corner of the room. With that said the table suddenly vanished, leaving a great black hole. The portal to Fantasyland.

"You may now enter!" The man said in a big booming voice, obviously supposed to sound fantasy-like.

The tourists just stared at him. No one wanted to be first to walk through the portal.

"Well...what are you waiting for?" The man asked them impatiently, "GO!"

A small rat faced little man said, "Oh heck I'll go first!" and stepped into the black circle. Imediatly he disapeared, leaving behind nothing but a puff of smoke. One by one each of the other tourists followed. When it was her turn Ria peered suspiciously down into the blackness. It didn't have the reek of wrongness (OMT) it just did not feel right. She began to have second thoughts. What if she never returned? What if she was killed in Fantasyland? As if reading her thoughts Kit slapped her on the back and said, "Come on! This is a chance of a lifetime! How will you ever be able to meet gnomes?" Ria wasn't to sure meeting gnomes was her idea of a chance of a lifetime but she smiled weakly at Kit and stepped into the portal with her eyes squeezed tightly shut...


A/N: Yeah I know...just when it was getting intresting. The next chapter will be more intresting I promise!!!!!