Round 1

Yo everybody! So I've been enjoying Mortal Kombat X recently, and one of the cool things I like about the game is all the unique intro dialogues between every characters. So I started thinking about where else this could be applied to, and came up with some dialogue for the SSB4 characters. I tried to make them humorous and/or badass, but some probably don't convey that too well because I try to also make the interactions realistic as well. Also, I tried to put these in some kind of order that made sense, but it kinda got muddled up at some point.

But hey, if enough of you people like these, maybe I'll make more of them. So with that in mind, enjoy!

Rating: T for mild sexual references.

Mario: I don't-a want to fight-a you Peach.

Peach: If you win, I'll bake you a cake.

Mario: Alrighty!

Bowser: Any last words, Mario?

Mario: So long King Bowser.

Bowser: That's what Peach said last night.

Bowser: I will destroy you Mario!

Mario: We-a still going golfing tomorrow, right?

Bowser: Oh yeah. Tee time's at 10.

Mario: I want to challenge you Sonic.

Sonic: More Olympics then?

Mario: I was-a thinking something less painful.

Sonic: The eternal rivalry!

Mario: Wasn't much of a rivalry after Heroes.

Sonic: Oh it's on now!

Luigi: This time, I'm-a gonna be the hero!

Bowser: Who are you again?

Luigi: It sucks to be Weegee.

Bowser: Green 'Stache!

Luigi: How can you never remember my name?

Bowser: Do you remember every Goomba you've stomped?

Peach: Bowser.

Bowser: You're coming with me.

Peach: I can fend for myself this time.

Peach: Wasn't I supposed to fight you before?

Doc Louis: You backed out on us, Peachy.

Peach: I had better things to do.

Pit: So you attack with your butt?

Peach: Are you curious?

Pit: I…think I need an adult.

Bowser: Maybe I should kidnap you instead.

Rosalina: I am no one's silver medal.

Bowser: I could never settle for less anyways.

Bowser: You dare go against your father?

Bowser Jr.: Gotta take the throne somehow.

Bowser: HAHA! Make me proud, son!

Link: How long must my incarnations fight you?

Ganondorf: Until the Triforce is mine.

Link: So always.

Ganondorf: So you're the "Hero of the Sky".

Link: Are you…Demise?

Ganondorf: Specifically yours.

Zelda: You're not my Link?

Link: I'm afraid not.

Zelda: Then there's no need to hold back.

Zelda: You can't be…

Sheik: I am. Free and unbound.

Zelda: Then I shall overcome myself.

Zelda: Ganondorf.

Ganondorf: Prepared to be possessed again?

Zelda: Your powers won't work this time.

Zelda: You're the "Goddess of Light"?

Palutena: At your service!

Zelda: The Golden Godesses are more respectable.

Zelda: I also used bindings to disguise my gender.

Lucina: What…bindings?

Zelda: …Oh.

Captain Falcon: You copying me Fugly?

Ganondorf: What is there worth imitating?

Captain Falcon: A proper fist to the face for starters.

Ganondorf: Any final words?

Wario: How 'bout "extensive plastic surgery"?

Ganondorf: Obnoxious till the end.

Pit: Hey Ganondork!

Ganondorf: How original.

Pit: I'll spice things up in the fight.

Ganondorf: The Goddess of Light.

Palutena: Sure you wanna pick on a goddess this size?

Ganondorf: Even the deities fall before me.

Palutena: Don't you wield a sword?

Ganondorf: That would make this too easy.

Palutena: Same reason I only give 10%.

Samus: Think you can take me on?

Mario: I-a have a dragon as a rival.

Samus: So do I.

Samus: Wario.

Wario: You gonna go crying back to Adam?

Samus: I'll give a report once I'm finished with you.

Doc Louis: Look who's back from flying!

Samus: I'm here to pay you back for that kidney you punched.

Doc Louis: Even her out a bit Mac baby!

Samus: Stand aside Falcon.

Captain Falcon: You don't have the authorization.

Samus: I don't need authorization to put you down.

Captain Falcon: So how about we split the bounty?

Samus: I prefer to work solo.

Captain Falcon: Then the winner gets the full cut.

Zero Suit Samus: The SA-X!?

Samus: No. The real Samus.

Zero Suit Samus: Prove it then.

Palutena: So about those heels…

Zero Suit Samus: Not this again.

Palutena: I'm just saying, Bayonetta called.

Fox: Just like old times, huh Falco?

Falco: It will be once I win again.

Fox: Let me jog your memory.

Falco: You sound like a dweeb Fox.

Fox: And you sound flat and emotionless.

Falco: 'Cause I know this'll be boring.

Falco: What kind of angel can't fly?

Pit: Well what kind of bird is…blue!

Falco: Great comeback Einstein.

Fox: So you're the top dog?

Captain Falcon: The one and only champion!

Fox: Soon to be the former champ.

Captain Falcon: Another falcon?

Falco: A better falcon.

Captain Falcon: There can be only one.

Meta Knight: King Dedede.

King Dedede: Oh goody, the emo puffball.

Meta Knight: You'll be the only one cut here.

King Dedede: Where's my respect!?

Meta Knight: One must earn it.

King Dedede: I saved this world! Isn't that enough!?

Bowser: The King of Dreamland.

King Dedede: The King of the Koopas.

Bowser: This means war.

Ganondorf: How the mighty have fallen.

Meta Knight: Still leagues above you.

Ganondorf: Care to back up that claim?

Meta Knight: You dare challenge me?

Doc Louis: The punch is mightier than the sword!

Meta Knight: Not when I'm its wielder.

Captain Falcon: I heard you have some impressive skills.

Robin: Well I am the master tactician.

Captain Falcon: Well come on! Show me your moves!

Robin: You hurt Lucina!

Captain Falcon: To be fair, this is a fighting tournament.

Robin: To be fair, I'm going to make you pay.

Captain Falcon: I think we'll get along just fine.

Lucina: You attacked me and my father!

Captain Falcon: I said "just fine", not "great".

Lucina: How hard did you hit my father?

Captain Falcon: Enough to knock him out of the roster.

Lucina: I will fight for his honor!

Robin: You remind me of my father.

Ganondorf: You will get no parental love from me.

Robin: Really remind me of him.

Ganondorf: There is darkness in you.

Robin: I overcame it long ago.

Ganondorf: Let us see.

Lucina: The Hero-King!

Marth: Shall we spar now?

Lucina: O-of course sir!

Ike: I heard you've met my descendant.

Robin: Yeah. Defeated him and his army too.

Ike: I will redeem our legacy.

Captain Falcon: What have you been eating big guy?

Ike: Lots of meat. Why?

Captain Falcon: How about you wash that down with some Falcon Punch?

Robin: I don't want to fight you Lucina.

Lucina: Nor do I. But we must.

Robin: It's just one battle. We can get through this.

Lucina: Oh, what have you been up to Robin?

Robin: Just doing some training with your father.

Lucina: Let's see how much you've improved.

Robin (M): Why is there a girl version of me?

Robin (F): Why is there a loser version of me?

Robin (M): Great, now I'm an immature brat.

Mewtwo: What is this?

Lucario: The one who succeeds you.

Mewtwo: Unlikely.

Lucario: My aura sensed your presence.

Mewtwo: Because I hide from no one.

Lucario: Nor can you run from this battle.

Mewtwo: Do you know who you are faced against?

Palutena: I don't have any data on you. I can't believe it!

Mewtwo: You will learn soon enough.

Mewtwo: You know what it's like to be a clone?

Dark Pit: I know what it's like to be the stronger clone.

Mewtwo: I almost pity fighting a kindred spirit.

Ganondorf: Together, we could rule.

Mewtwo: I do not work with inferior lifeforms.

Ganondorf: I would have casted you aside anyways.

Wii Fit Trainer: You are out of shape.

Wario: I don't like to exercise.

Wii Fit Trainer: I'll help you burn some calories.

Wario: Why are you here and not Waluigi?

Wii Fit Trainer: What can I say? I was more wanted.

Wario: And they call me a dirty liar.

Robin: You do know I'm a master strategist?

Shulk: You do know I can predict your every move?

Robin: You do know I like a good challenge?

Pit: *Shulk imitation* Look at this joker!

Shulk: Do I really sound that ridiculous?

Pit: *Shulk imitation* Let's not lose your head now!

Palutena: *Shulk imitation* I'm really feeling it!

Shulk: Come on! That's not nice!

Palutena: *Shulk imitation* Now it's Palutena time!

Dark Pit: *Shulk imitation* I can definitely do this!

Shulk: I thought you of all of them were above this!

Dark Pit: *Shulk imitation* Shulk's scary when he's angry!

Pit: Lady Palutena!

Palutena: Ready for the onslaught Pit?

Pit: Yes! I mean no! I mean maybe! I mean-…I'm scared.

Pit: Is this because I ruined your garden?

Palutena: Mmm…maybe.

Pit: I knew a thousand sorrys wasn't enough.

Palutena: So Pit, ready for your clobbering?

Pit: Uh…can we push that to next Thursday?

Palutena: Sorry, I have a busy schedule.

Pit: Pittoo!

Dark Pit: Okay, you die just for that!

Pit: Yeesh, overreacting much?

Pit: You ready for this!?

Dark Pit: If you're done rubbing Palutena's bunions.

Pit: Hey her feet are perfect because of me.

Dark Pit: Get ready to throw down.

Pit: Didn't I beat you every time before this?

Dark Pit: You're not the main character this time.

Palutena: Poor little Pittoo.

Dark Pit: You know what happened to the last person who called me that?

Palutena: Laughing up a storm like I am?

Palutena: So, you and Viridi.

Dark Pit: It's not like that and you know it.

Palutena: True, but that's what my fanfiction is for.

Pit: So you're a "Power Ranger", right?

Captain Falcon: They said I was "too real" for the role.

Pit: Not as real as this beatdown!

Captain Falcon: You've got to be Falcon kidding me!

Dark Pit: Seriously? Did you really have to say that?

Captain Falcon: YES!

Lucina: Naga?

Palutena: Close, but no cigar.

Lucina: Then you will pay dearly impostor!

Palutena: Hey Lucy, wanna play?

Lucina: Why do I have a feeling it won't be fun?

Palutena: Well it'll be fun for me.

Lucina: You insulted my father!

Palutena: I was only teasing.

Lucina: This is what I think of your teasing!

Lucina: *growls*

Zero Suit Samus: Any reason you're glaring so hard?

Lucina: So big. Want revenge.

Sonic: So how are you doing?

King Dedede: I feel like pounding you into the ground.

Sonic: That's no good!

Mega Man: Captain Falcon.

Captain Falcon: You can't copy the Falcon Punch.

Mega Man: Won't need to.

Mega Man: It's Gutsman!

Wario: I'm-a Wario! I'll show you my butt to prove it!

Mega Man: OKAY! OKAY! I believe you!

Mega Man: Meta Knight.

Meta Knight: Tell me, what are you fighting for?

Mega Man: For everlasting peace.

Mega Man: We teamed up before.

Sonic: Yeah, after I wailed on you like a metal drum.

Mega Man: I think I know why we aren't allies anymore.

Mega Man: Long time no see Sonic.

Sonic: Ready to finish what we started?

Mega Man: It's a decent way to catch up.

Sonic: You remind me of a buddy of mine.

Dark Pit: If that's true, he wasn't a buddy of yours.

Sonic: It's as if I've never left.

Wario: Feeling homesick kid?

Ness: Only when talking to strange creeps like you.

Wario: Then let me reacquaint you with the back of my hand.

Lucas: You were the one who turned Ness into a trophy!

Wario: Meh, I had to earn my Pay Day.

Lucas: You'll never hurt anyone again!

So clearly this was kind of skewed as some characters clearly had more lines than others, but that's mainly due to the fact that they were much easier to come up with dialogue for (the Kid Icarus: Uprising characters are just hilarious, Ganondorf oozes badass, etc.) and not because of any favoritism. If I do make more of these, I'll try to even it out more. I'm also sorry if none of your favorite characters came up, but please understand that I can't do every character for this as not all of them can talk or seem to have a justifiable way to communicate. But yeah, thanks for taking the time to read this, and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I had writing these down. See ya whenever!