Instinct is intelligence incapable of self-consciousness. –John Sterling
Though there were several fortunate circumstances surrounding the day Light Yagami presented as Omega, the young man could not manage to consider himself lucky.
It was true, of course, that he had not started going into heat in public, with no notice at all. It wasn't uncommon and it was rare for the Omega in question to get out completely unscathed.
He'd been in his room when he'd felt the first stirrings. The twinge of pain in his stomach that he'd assumed meant he was merely hungry. He'd ignored it for quote some time before reaching a stopping point in the essay he was writing. It wasn't the first time he'd forgotten to eat during hours of studying and homework, so he'd picked himself up and headed downstairs to see when dinner was going to be ready.
Light hadn't even reached the kitchen when the pain in his stomach sharpened and his steps actually faltered, pressing a hand to the wall to steady himself. Still calm, still quiet, not wanting to disturb either of his family members over nothing. He could smell the stir-fry his mother was making from where he stood, hear her humming over the sizzle of the pan. His eyes shifted over to the living room, where he could see Sayu sitting on the floor, painting her toenails and watching a popular TV show, giggling here and there or sighing when a particularly handsome actor came onto the screen.
The food smelled amazing, but almost too strong. As if seasoned too much. It seemed an odd mistake, as his mother had been an excellent cook for as long as he could remember.
He could smell the nail polish too, and it almost made his nose curl it was so foul. It nearly soured his appetite all together.
The next pain brought the slightest of noises to his lips, because it wasn't just discomfort, it was warmth too. An unnatural sensation, radiating from his stomach and out. His first deduction had been gas, as childish as it was, but that wouldn't make him feel like a fever had started at his core and was spreading up through his chest and down through his legs.
Appendicitis. That would make sense. It had to, didn't it? It could not be anything else.
Not a single damned thing.
Though fevers due to actual medic conditions didn't start in the abdomen, and the pain wasn't intense, just a subtle cramping that he wasn't at all used to that was already starting to fade.
If it was appendicitis, then he should tell his mother now. Right now. He'd be taken to the hospital and the treacherous organ would be removed. Then he could go back to normal. He just had to tell her now, before it got worse.
He was silent.
"Are you okay, Light?"
That was when he'd felt the first of it leaking down his thigh, thick and molten and awful. The very moment when the fear that had been nudging at the back of his mind came to fruition.
This was where a second smidgeon of good luck showed itself, laughing at him for his fortune even while it ruined him in the same damning swipe. All of his immediate family were Betas, even his father who -thank God-wasn't home, and so they could not smell the terrible, stinking Omegan bodily fluid that was currently forming inside for the first time. Sayu had not presented as either second gender yet, though she was about that age.
Though presenting at sixteen was a on the late end of the spectrum, it was not unheard of, statistically speaking. Light was not exactly an outlier.
But Light did not want to think of statistics.
He wanted to fucking scream.
"Light?" The tone in Sayu's voice had grown more concerned now, and only then had Light realized that he'd been completely ignoring her. He took a long, steadying breath and fixed his eyes on his sister, trying to give her a reassuring smile. It worked, of course, faking smiles was kind of his specialty but he couldn't help but think it wasn't as genuine as it usually was.
"Sorry, Sayu…I think I'm coming down with something," Light spoke after a moment, taking his hand from the wall and standing up straighter, though his every fiber wanted to curl protectively over the heat in his stomach.
"Yeah, you do sort of look sick to your stomach," Sayu agreed with a frown, glancing down at her still-drying toes as if she would have come over to check on him if she could.
Another spark of good fortune, then. He hadn't wanted anyone to touch him like this, even family.
Though nausea wasn't strictly one of the symptoms of heat, even first heats, Light was sure what she said was true. He'd likely gone pale with the realization, and he could even smell the slight sheen of sweat that had started to manifest on his skin.
Increased olfaction. He hadn't noticed it before, and now it struck him as an unkind addition for what he knew he was about to go through. It was there to help seek out a mate, and Light didn't think there had been a more appalling notion in his entire life, here and now. The teenager grit his teeth as another wave of warmth spread through him, surely intending to envelope him. He had to get out of here. Had to prepare, in whatever way he could, without drawing attention to what was about to happen to him.
"Please tell mom not to disturb me. I'm just going to go try to sleep it off so I don't miss any school." His voice was much calmer than he felt, which he was proud of. It was the only thing he could currently think to be proud of in that moment.
"Ah, okay, do you need anything-?"
But Light was already half way up the stairs, all but bolting to the linen closet next to the bathroom. He'd pushed off the clawing panic in his chest to make room for rationality. He was a logical boy, methodical and systematic to the point of compulsion. Quickly, he thought of what he was going to need for the next two or three days.
God, he hoped it didn't last that long, but without someone to share it with, that prediction was an optimistic one.
He'd brought a mug of coffee up to his room earlier in the day. Check. He went to the bathroom and filled it with water from the sink that he otherwise would have never ingested.
Towels. Check. He draped a couple of them over his bed so that they would keep whatever mess that was even now running down his leg.
An extra sheet to cover up with, because he doubted he'd want the weight of his duvet on him when—
Well. When it started.
He cursed himself for not knowing more about what to expect. He knew anatomy and physiology, obviously, but he wished that he'd read up on the experience before now. He knew there were plenty of books to help prepare those who thought they might present Omega through the experience, but he had never considered himself a god damned candidate. Generally, even before presentation, it wasn't that difficult to guess what a young person might grow up to be.
Light had never been overly sentimental, or openly compassionate. He didn't giggle, or shy away from leadership roles or talk about clothes, however much he took pride in his appearance. These were all complete generalizations, he knew, but they were not completely without basis. He'd never once seen the possibility in himself.
It was insulting, as well as terrifying.
He stripped down to his boxers, and mopped up the mess that was covering his thighs. The part of him that was a scientist took note of how clear the biological lubricant was, how thick and slippery. How disgusting, when he thought of the reason it was there, that not even a century ago Omegas had been considered breeding machines, property of Alphas, meant only to be mounted and to rear children.
His life. His whole goddamned life could have been over.
If he hadn't been at home when it started. If he hadn't locked his doors, drawn his curtains and suffered through the humiliating experience as quietly as he could. If even just one member of his family had been able to smell him, either as an Alpha or Omega. Even he could smell himself, the sickly sweet scent of slick running down his legs and drenching the layers of towels beneath him as he ached for a fullness that he would never allow himself.
He'd missed two days of school. His mother had come to check on him and he'd told her it was the flu, that he wouldn't unlock the door because he didn't want her to catch it. She'd been upset with him. He had been too out of his mind to care.
During the evenings, when his mother and sister were home, he bit down on one of the hand towels he'd taken and sobbed silently through the worst of it. When his mother went out to run errands during the day, he stole a couple showers, got more water, ate whatever he could stomach and waited for the next wave.
While she was away on the first day, he threw a fucking tantrum, screaming and cursing God, science, himself, his parents—anything that might in some way be responsible for the quivering lump of hormones he'd turned into.
Even alone, with no one to see the shameful state he was in but himself, it was the most mortifying experience of his entire young life.
When he awoke early on the morning of the fourth day, feeling vaguely human again, the first thing he did was vow that he would never let himself agonize in such away again. He would not allow his body to rule his mind, he would not let his biology ruin his entire fucking life.
After he'd showered thoroughly, and washed everything that he'd touched in the last few strenuous days, twice, he left his house for the first time since, every nerve on edge, horrified by the idea that someone might still be able to smell him.
If any of the strangers he passed on the way picked up his scent, they ignored him. He stopped at a store to buy an over-sized hooded sweatshirt, pulling the hood down low to shadow his face, then took a bus to the other side of the city. It was a part of town that he hadn't ever been to before, with the sort of people that made his faith in humanity sneer.
But no one recognized him at the free clinic. He was just one of many teenagers with aliases who came through to pick up suppressants, just another pathetic Omega trying to make it by.
He took his pills and studied and tried not to think about the creature he was under his skin, the one that hid beneath a layer of suppressants, that would—if he missed a dose—allow his traitor of a body to break down once more. To whimper and beg at nothing and ache inside for a knot, any one, any god damned one would do—
So, perhaps he was lucky, but more so than that, he was determined. Obstinate. Suppressants and scent blockers and birth control, he did everything in his power to hide, to make sure that not a single person in the world would truly see him. As far as they were concerned, Light Yagami was a Beta. Just a normal fucking Beta, like the rest of his family.
Perhaps not normal, he never had been. Intelligent, hard-working, studious. One of the top students in Japan, a future member prized of the NPA. That was who he was, who he'd always been, and certainly not in spite of being an Omega.
A brilliant, lovely, perfect son with no secrets at all.
A/N: There is almost zero Omegaverse fiction out there. It's damned shame, as I really enjoy the universe and what one can do with interactions and how things change. Although it is generally used as a kink, I'll be attempting to portray it as a universe only slightly different than our own. But I enjoy the kink part of it.
This isn't going to be a very 'dark fic' at all, though it will have angst, as does life. That isn't really the overall tone I'm going for, but there will be some dark things occurring. But they shouldn't be all encompassing - especially during part one (I'm not entirely sure about part two just yet, but it'll probably get a bit darker). It will deal with discrimination in the workplace and Light's frustration with his own biology, sexual/gender identity and what that means in this world. There will eventually be an agender character, a gender fluid character and more than one transgender character - and all sexual orientations (including pan and ace) will also be included, though they may not be explicitly stated except for in my comments. There will be no Mpreg. The issue of the Consent will be discussed quite a bit - the first scene may be considered dubious, but is not meant to be so. The extenuating circumstances (such as Heat, and what that means as far as consent goes) but it is not cruel or meant to be rapey and is done for the health of the Omega in question) and it will be discussed entirely. All other sex scenes will have explicit consent.
Romance between L and Light will also occupy a fair portion of the story, because they are stupid geniuses and I want them to be happy (mostly).
As I update this author's note, I'm at chapter sixteen, and am estimating there will be between thirty and forty chapters. It kind of exploded on me. Hopefully, it will be epic.
Feedback is lovely.