For The Good of Mankind.
Disclaimer: Snape, Narcissa, and all the gang that are mentioned, including settings, etc belong to the wealthy genius that is JK Rowling. I don't pretend to own 'em, nor do I get any money from this – in fact, I pay for my Internet connection to get this thing on the net!
WARNING: Contains OotP spoilers, as it has Narcissa's maiden name.
Summary: So, why did Snape join the dark side? And what's Narcissa doing with Lucius? Are Sevvy and Narcissa in lurve? All will be revealed....
I wrote this a while ago and only posted a couple of chapters. Now I have writers block on my 'big' story and so I'm attempting to sort out the other ones until I break down the wall. I hope this is an improvement.
Severus Snape walked slowly to the train station at Hogsmede. As he walked, he wondered what the hell he was doing.
He had just gone to Dumbledore, to confess his sins and ask for forgiveness for what he had been doing for the past five years of his life, if you could call it that. Five years of torturing muggles, raping muggles, and murdering muggles, and mudbloods just because they weren't 'pure'. He was sick of it.
No one but Severus saw the irony in the Dark Lord's actions. The Death Eaters were, in effect purging the world, so that a pure race could be 'created'. The 'Dark Lord' himself was a mudblood. His Father was a muggle, and so by his own theory, he should be murdered too. How tempted Severus felt to point this out. But it would have cost him his life. It's times like these that make you wonder if Hitler really was any good as an artist. He pondered as he showed the attendant his ticket to get on the train. The attendant cast Severus a nervous glance, and he did his best to look nervously back at him, as though neither were sure of the others loyalties. Seeming to have fooled the other man, Severus boarded the train, wishing he could apparate, but he was still to weak to do so.
As she apparated to their agreed meeting point, Narcissa looked around anxiously. She laughed at her own nervousness, feeling the need to roll her eyes at her own stupidity. Severus is never early, nor is he never late; he's bang on time. Narcissa glanced at her watch then around the dank, cold, ancient alleyway and shuddered, in spite of herself. How fitting, how...Severus... Narcissa thought as she glanced with disdain at a passing rat. She looked at her watch again. It was 11:25; she was five minutes early. A train pulled into the station across the road, on the wizarding part of the town. As she looked up, she saw a black figure walk across the road. If she had not known who it was, she would have looked straight through him. That was the point of course.
He walked up to her, nodding slightly. "You've died your hair. It doesn't suit you."
"Why thank you, you always were the charmer."
"Don't joke around Narc-Amanda." He said, remembering her 'name'.
"Subtle, Stephen" She whispered.
As they walked down into the alleyway, they saw a small number of rats. Almost automatically, Severus took out his wand and performed the killing curse as though it was as casual as levitating. Narcissa gasped in surprise.
He raised an eyebrow at her reaction. "As I see it, my 'soul'-" He practically spat the word out "-is damned to hell anyway. Killing a few rats won't harm, in fact, it might even redeem me." His attempt at sardonic wit was noted but cast aside; this was not the time for such behaviour.
She took a deep breath and decided to go for it. No beating around the bush, she just went straight to the point. It was why they were there after all. "Why have you turned back? To our side."
"Don't you want me? I was under the impression that the light needs all the help it can get, even if it is from me. And anyway, since when have you been 'light'? Dumbledore was conveniently forgetful when I asked."
Looking at him sadly, she quietly said "From the beginning."
Narcissa Black walked across the Ravenclaw common room, and looked in the mirror in front of the door. As she turned around, her chocolate brown hair cascaded down her back in rebellion against the bun she'd so carefully put it in.
"Do I look okay?"
"The answer is yes if you're just going out, but if it's with that creep Lucius then no. No one's ever good enough for him, at least that's what he thinks."
"Shut up Marissa! I'm going to see him, yes, but that's because we're dating. God! You make it sound like a crime!"
Narcissa playfully swatted her friend on the arm, waved goodbye and went out the door, Marissa shaking her head at her friend's receding back. However, instead of going down into the dungeons, she went up to the Headmaster's office. "Professor Dumbledore? You wanted to see me sir?"
The door opened, and out popped Dumbledore's head, eyes twinkling. "Ah yes, Miss Black! Do come in." She sat down in a chair in front of his desk and smiled nervously. She knew why she had been sent for; a 'progress report'. A few minutes' later, after some discussion about her charms homework, and about 5 sherbet lemons, Narcissa started her report:
"Lucius is steadily getting more relaxed with his 'status' as deputy to the Dark Lord - " Dumbledore raised an eyebrow. "- I mean Voldemort, sorry sir, I've trained myself to say it automatically; less suspicion that way." He nodded, and she continued. "I've never met this 'Voldemort', but I do know he's not a student. He was a Slytherin in any case, if his politics are anything to go by. His hatred of 'mudbloods' tells us that...anyway, Lucius says that I'll be able to meet him soon.
I've gained his trust because of Lucius' devotion-" She nearly laughed. "-to me. The Dark Lord seems to think that I can be trusted...."
"Very good Narcissa. Is there anything else?"
"...Yes. He's asked me to marry him...."
"Severus, you've got to understand, I had to marry him. Dumbledore said that I didn't, but I felt it was only right. I'd gone this far, why not a little further? You've obviously heard rumours about Lucius and his...strange... tastes. He wanted me to dye my hair, to the 'Malfoy colour'. He said it reminded him of his Mother..."
She stopped speaking, and started to cry gently, so as not to be heard. Severus had the feeling that this was from practice.
"Anyway, I've got to go back to him soon. He'll get suspicious. I said I was visiting a sick friend in St Mungo's, in order to keep up his rouse of being on the light. He doesn't have total faith in the Lord yet. But he will. Soon."
Severus suddenly burst forth, an unexpected out-pouring of his emotions. "What the hell are you doing going back to Lucius?! You don't love him, you know full well that he's just using you, are you some kind of masochist?!"
"Well I must be if I'm in love with you!"
There was a deathly silence. She had said it; she had declared her love for him.
So, this must be what it feels like to be the dumbest student in the class, knowing full well you've said the stupidest thing possible, and waiting for the scathing reply.
Finally, she looked at him. He was staring at her. "You love me? How can you love me? Nobody loves me, it's like an unwritten rule, people are incapable of any feelings towards me except hatred." In a funny way, it was kind of cute, watching him staring at her, not believing a word she said. Then he did the weirdest thing.
He started to laugh.
She glared, cheeks burning. "I've just laid my life and soul on the line for you Severus Snape, and all you can do is laugh in my face?! How dare you!" She glared in a disturbingly Malfoy manner.
He sobered somewhat and looked at her. "You don't realise, do you? You don't know why I became a Death Eater...It wasn't for the...power...the glory, or the twisted sense of respect. It was because of you. You were all I cared about, and you were gone. You'd been lost to Lucius, and I knew you weren't coming back. You seemed to be so in love with him that I didn't have the heart to try and win you. Now I see that it was a rouse, to gain his trust, and love - if he's capable of it - but, but, your hair. It was so beautiful, and now it's so...Malfoy."
"I sort of gathered that that was the point." She replied dryly, her eyes only half open as if bored.
He looked at her hurriedly, "But don't worry, we can get you out of this. I'll ask Dumbledore if-"
"No! Severus, no. It won't work. I'm in too deep as it is. I can't leave now."
"Of course you can leave. We could fake your death or someth-"
"Severus, no. I can't leave, it's too dangerous, and anyway, I've got someone else to think of now...." She waited a moment for the words to sink in. Realisation dawned on his features that were already too tired and too weary for a man of his young age.
"No, Narcissa...please no."
"Yes Severus. I'm...pregnant."