*Begin Author's Note: First of all, if you haven't read Sinful Pleasures, Consuming Darkness yet, please do so, as this story you are in currently contains some spoilers for SPCD as Fili is meant to be a largely unreadable, sort-of-mysterious character in SPCD and reading this will give you too much insight and ruin the effect I am trying to achieve with the unknown factor in SPCD lolz.
Kili-muse has been taunting me with scenes from Fili's past constantly, so I've decided to write them and turn into a pre-quel of sorts (NOT TO BE READ FIRST THOUGH FOR PREVIOUSLY OUTLINED REASONS THOUGH LOLZ) from Fili's POV. This story will cover a good portion of his life with Kili as they grew up together, his kindly uncle Frerin who he loses at a young age not long after his mother dies and, of course, his relationship with Thorin.
Dark, slightly insane, cruel uncle Thorin who uses Kili as leverage against Fili at every turn and expects so much of the young prince beginning from the tender age of about 40 (equivalent of a human 10 year old) when Thorin officially 'adopts' him as his heir.
At first he thinks life will improve, and that he will become a great leader for his people with Thorin's, Balin's and Dwalin's guidance.
But not all is as it seems and all that glitters is not gold... And when it is, it corrupts and twists.
And turns golden dreams into living nightmares.
This is Fili's life from the age of 20 (the equivalent of a human 5 year old) to 96 (the equivalent of a human 24 year old), right before the Battle of the Withered Heath. And those of you who have read SPCD first - as you're meant to - all know what happens after that.
WARNING! PLEASE READ CAREFULLY BEFORE PROCEEDING!
For those of you who have read Sinful Pleasures, Consuming Darkness, you will know that stories in Darkverse tend to contain POTENTIAL TRIGGERS for any person who has been traumatised through some form of sexual harassment and/or assault. I am fully aware that this is NOT acceptable behaviour in real life and I myself most likely would not enjoy being put in this situation and I would never wish it on anyone else, nor would I condone these kinds of actions toward anyone else in real life.
This is meant to be a work of FICTION ONLY to be read as such. If you do not like reading such material, exit this page and go find something more to your tastes. There are plenty of fantastic works written by authors FAR more talented than I which are well written and highly enjoyable to read, without any of the content you will find in this story.
If any person who has experienced some form of sexual harassment and/or assault continues with reading this and experiences triggering because of it, I humbly apologise, but you were warned.
I may end up having to move it to Archive Of Our Own. I hope Fanfiction gives me time to move it and doesn't just straight axe me lol.
There will be a TRIGGER WARNING like so at the top of every chapter that contains anything which has the potential to trigger someone with real life history in this content. (Again I sincerely apologise for any bad memories I inadvertently raise in people who read my story despite my warning not to). End Author's Note*
*Begin Disclaimer: I do not own any character's mention herein…. Besides my OC's. If I owned Fili…. I might have to hire a SWAT team to protect us from rabid, jealous fans! End Disclaimer*
Fili raced through the marble green hallways, navigating the twists and turns of the upper levels in the mountain fortress with ease. He was only twenty years old, yet already his sense of direction had developed rapidly. The dwarves he passed smiled fondly at him; he gave them no time to bow as protocol demanded toward all members of the royal family, even dwarflings, so they simply dipped their heads. He didn't see them. His eyes were set firmly on his destination. His still bare feet slapped softly on the floor, tapping out a rapid rhythm in time with the frantic beating of his tiny heart as it was forced to work harder. His uncle's footfalls were heavier, thudding quite loudly against the stone as he followed close behind. Fili hadn't noticed when he'd caught up; luckily the older dwarf didn't try to stop him and simply kept pace alongside, Fili's boots swinging madly in one large hand. The huffs and pants of the physician's assistant who had brought them the news echoed behind them.
They came to a sudden stop in front of a tall oak door, the runes engraved in the aged wood still illegible to Fili, who had only just begun learning how to read written Khuzdul, though he had it on good authority it said something along the lines of 'Royal Physician'. Frerin knocked on the door with his free hand and an elderly dwarrowdam opened it, giving a low dip of the head – the only obeisance possible for one of her age – which Frerin and Fili returned in a show of respect for the esteemed elder. She beckoned them inside with a smile. The private infirmary was smaller than the larger ones scattered about the subterranean city in the lower levels. The area they entered was cramped, tables and tall shelves storing countless dried herbs, containers and other healing supplies taking up most of the space so that one had to pick one's way through rather carefully to avoid bumping into things. At the back a curtained entrance could be seen, soft light leaking through the cracks all around it. Soft grunts and pants emanated from within. A few chairs lined the wall beside the entryway. Fili pushed ahead, Frerin trying to call him back, but he didn't listen. He managed to move around the clutter far easier than the much larger dwarf and had drawn back the fabric covering the entrance to the room where patients were treated before his uncle had gotten halfway. He could make out the naked form of his mother to the left of the entrance, down the far end. Oin, the royal physician, was with her, talking her through something whilst a younger dwarrowdam rubbed her back and hands, speaking soothingly to her. Dis was on all fours, breathing deeply whilst her swollen belly appeared to spasm of its own accord. She winced and then visibly relaxed again; Oin handed his assistant a vial and she brought it to Dis's lips, helping her drink it; Fili's mother made a face, but downed the lot quickly.
The grizzled healer moved around to the princess's rear end where a dark dome had begun to appear. Fili watched in a mix of fascination, disgust and mild horror until Frerin's hand gripped his shoulder and tugged him out of the room.
When they were finally admitted, Fili now wearing his previously forgotten boots thanks to Frerin's insistence, Dis was clothed again and lying on one of the truckle beds, a squirming, noisy bundle held delicately in her arms. Fili wasted no time in climbing on the mattress to sit by his mother's head. Dis stroked his face gently, her face tired but happy as she pulled him in to place a kiss on his forehead. The dwarfling stared down at the fussing babe curiously, eager to see his new little brother. A tuft of ebony hair peaked out from under the edge of the blanket he'd been swaddled in and when the baby looked up at him, two of the darkest brown eyes he had ever seen glared – yes, glared; Fili hadn't known babies even could glare – back at him. Fili smiled, nonplussed. Without warning, his brother screwed up his little face and let out a caterwaul that nearly sent Fili for the door in fright. Dis laughed at her eldest son's startled expression and pulled out a breast so the tiny terror could latch on and feed. At least it shut him up for a while.
"What is his name, Amad?" Fili ventured, watching the infant as he suckled.
"'Kili', my dear kidhuzel. He is called Kili. Would you like to hold him once he is done?"
He hesitated. What if Kili cried loudly again and he dropped him? He would never forgive himself. Dis chuckled and patted his back reassuringly. "It is alright, my darling. If you stay sitting down with him for now, I am sure you will both be fine."
Fili nodded and seated himself carefully on the edge again, waiting patiently for Kili to finish and detach himself from his mother's teat. When he finally did, Dis passed him gingerly to Fili who held his breath as his baby brother was deposited in his arms for the first time. Kili smacked his lips in the way of satisfied babies and yawned, displaying a light pink, toothless cavern morphing into a never-ending blackness below. Dark eyes met blue. Fili tensed slightly in preparation for another wail, but Kili just stared at him almost calculatingly for a few moments. Fili stared back, enthralled and unable to look away. Finally, the youngest Durin fell asleep, snuggled deeply in his big brother's arms.
Fili swore silently to himself and to Kili that he would be there for him, in everything, for the rest of their lives. He would protect Kili with his own life if he had to. That, even at the tender age of a mere twenty years, Fili knew for certain.
*Begin Author's Note: So I hoped you enjoyed this little prologue…. I'll be working on this intermittently whilst I finish SPCD (and Uni lolz). And if I get up to any bits that are important for you not to know until they've become common knowledge to readers in SPCD, then I won't post it until SPCD has been updated to include that information, plot device etc.
See you around. Skywolf, over and out. End Author's Note*
Amad – mother
Kidhuzel – gold of gold (most golden)
Much gratitude to Dwarrowscholar (not a Fanfiction pen name by the way; look them up on the general internet) who spent so much time putting together an actual English-Khuzdul DICTIONARY, which is what I used here.