Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. It all belongs to Rowling. Surprise.

A/N: Hope you like this pointless fic! It's not like it's a real humor fic where you'll be laughing out loud and falling off your chair and so on, but it's simply not a very serious fic... Hey, that doesn't mean it has no plot. Anyway, like I said, I hope you enjoy. If you do, a review would be a nice Christmas present.

The Perfectionist

By Mykerinos

Chapter One: That's a bet

Before the meeting had started Severus Snape approached his female colleague, waiting for her to finish her conversation with Remus Lupin. When she didn't seem to notice his presence, he coughed loudly and empathizing. Finally she turned around. When she saw who was facing her, her jaw dropped a bit.

"Minerva," Severus addressed icily before she could say anything, "I want to talk to you about some of your students."

"Really?" the older woman said irritably. "Who's been bothering you this time, Severus? Has Neville blown something up again?" She frowned. "I know the boy's clumsy, but for Merlin's sake, Severus, you can't keep carping at him all the time."

"Potter is sneaking out at nights again." He looked down his hooked nose. "I caught him several times this month, but obviously he doesn't care about 100 house points more or less."

Professor McGonagall did seem a bit shocked at that. "I'll ask him about that. Anything else?"

"Weasley. The boy. He's getting just as bad as his brothers, but what his brothers did seem to accomplish, he doesn't. His grades are dropping, and his homework is suffering under all those jokes."

"Well, have you got anything about Miss Granger too, to make it complete?" she asked a bit indignantly.

Severus glared at her. "As a matter of fact, yes, I have. The girl really is getting on my nerves, Minerva, trying to know everything and constantly interrupting me to correct other's mistakes."

"You can't blame her for being smart, Severus!" Remus Lupin had joined the conversation and a small smile played across his lips, which infuriated Severus. He was having a serious problem here! That silly Know-It-All had been on his back for 7 years already, always asking for more information, more homework, recommended reading. Always making interesting comments, which were always undeniably true. Always being first in class....

"She's gouging her classmates' eyes out," he said, trying to stay calm. After years and years of practicing that wasn't that difficult for him to do.

"I think you're overreacting." Minerva shook her head. "Miss Granger is a very decent student, and she would never abuse her intellect to manipulate others."

"That's right," Remus said.

Severus just glared. He couldn't stand against two of those sunny-minded people. But he would get back of them, somehow. Then they all sat down, and Dumbledore started the meeting.

- -- - -- - -- -

"So, have you got any ideas, Severus?" Remus Lupin tried to catch up with the Potions Master, who looked even sourer than normal on his way back to the dungeons. The meeting had been a very short one, but it had been long enough for Severus to come to the conclusion that Albus Dumbledore had completely lost his mind this time.

Severus only walked faster at the question, totally ignoring it. Remus just smiled.

"Don't you like contests? I know you never liked dancing contests, but Albus said that this time it could be any kind of contest, didn't he? A potion-making contest, perhaps? I'm sure Albus would be very amused if you came up with an idea."

A few passing students gave the new DADA professor weird looks, and started giggling when they glanced up at Severus. He shot them a glare to quiet them. Remus took no notice of this all, now almost running to keep up with the angry Head of Slytherin.

"I know I'm going to send in my idea," he said enthusiastically.

"And what would your idea be, werewolf? A biting contest?" Severus sneered, accelerating some more.

"A flying contest!" Remus beamed, glad that his companion had decided to join the conversation. "Not just flying, of course, but something like figure flying--"

"Right!" Severus snorted. "I can imagine those little brats in their suits and dresses making pirouettes on their brooms with revolting pink ribbons..."

"Yes, wouldn't that be fantastic?"

"No, it wouldn't. It's the stupidest idea I've ever heard, even from a werewolf. Besides the idea of keeping a contest on itself, of course. And by the way, the Headmaster would never allow such a thing, after all the Quidditch trouble." he said with unfriendly amusement. "Never. I'll enter it with the Granger-girl, if he does," he said carelessly, recalling his early conversation with Minerva.

Remus eyes glittered. "That's a bet," he smiled.

"Please, werewolf, shut up." Fortunately for Severus they had reached the dungeons, and he hastily sought some bottle in his large collection. "Here, your wolfsbane potion for this month. Now get lost." He sat down behind his desk. "Oh, and do tell me when that contest is accepted," he commented sarcastically.

Remus left the dungeons, shaking the potion in his hands. "Oh, I will, dear friend. I will."