Chuck Verses Jack Daniel's

A/N: My first crack at story-time-Chuck-style. This idea came to my warped brain while bored at work one afternoon. I'm not lazy, I get my crap done...honest! I decided to put this out there for everyone's enjoyment (God help us all!). I hope it is as fun to read as it was to write.

This is how Chuck Verses The Three Words could have gone. If you are like me and hated the plot in the first half of Season 3, this is my humble attempt to make things right. The scene in the story takes place while Sarah and Carina are at a club early in the episode.

This was intended to be mostly comical, with a twist of drama. The story contains strong language, so you've been warned. I like to think this has something for everyone...humor, drama, icky lady feelings, booze, and Casey.

Disclaimer: I obviously don't own Chuck, or the series would still be airing.

Being single on a Saturday night wasn't a big deal for Chuck Bartowski.

What was a big deal, was being single because of a really bad decision on his part.

After being unceremoniously kicked out of spy school for not being able to flash, Chuck was sent back to Burbank.

For the past month, Chuck wallowed in self-pity and guilt. He didn't run away with Sarah in Prague, and now he was back living with his sister.

Life sucked yet again for Chuck.

Things had been tense between Chuck and Sarah since being "tentatively" reassigned back to Team Intersect. At least they were on speaking terms.

On this particular Saturday night, Chuck was home alone with nothing to do. Morgan wanted to hang out, but Chuck decided against it. He wasn't in the mood for Call of Duty when his heart was in iddy biddy pieces.

After the briefing earlier in the day, Sarah mentioned she had "plans" for tonight. Chuck assumed she was seeing someone. That didn't help matters either.

Chuck decided he would visit the local package store and see an old friend who had helped him through dark times. His old pal Jack Daniel's.

Having spent time in a college fraternity, Chuck knew there was a bourbon for any type of situation. He chuckled at Casey's Johnny Walker Black Label, which he found to be a good "sipping" drink. It had a rich taste, but had an after taste equivalent to pouring hot coals down your throat.

There was Wild Turkey, a cheaper fan favorite from his college days. It had a bitter aftertaste and was somewhat watered down for his liking.

It was a good friend of Chuck's at Stanford, a fellow engineering major from the mountains of Tennessee that turned him to his all-time favorite. Jack Daniel's.

Jack Daniel's was something special. It tasted aged to perfection. Chuck listened in awe as his southern friend went on about visiting the Jack Daniel's distillery regularly, and described how the sacred liquid was aged in barrels. After one taste, Chuck was hooked.

So, what a better way to pass a melancholy Saturday evening than sipping Jack Daniel's and grilling burgers.

After a few glasses of the sacred nector, Chuck walked over to Casey's and fired up the Beast Master. Chuck promised a fifth of Jack to Casey earlier in exchange for using the imposing Marine's grill. Casey was fond of Jack Daniel's, although he preferred his precious Johnny Walker.

After smelling the intoxicating aroma of grilled Angus beef, Casey popped his head out of his apartment.

"That actually smells good, Bartowski. Mind if I rob a burger?"

Chuck grinned happily. "Absofuckinglutley, Casey! I have one right here with your name on it!"

Casey did a double take. Did Bartowski just drop the F-bomb? Hell hath froze over, Casey mused silently.

This was intriguing. He figured Bartowski was the consummate Boy Scout.

Casey noticed the half-filled tumbler that Chuck grabbed and took a healthy gulp. Casey's eyes grew wide. "Bartowski, how many of those have you had already?"

"What, this?" Chuck wiggled the glass in his hand with a goofy grin. "Oh, this is my….uh…shit…." Chuck paused and scratched his head, muttering "two…three…four….." Chuck popped his head up, snapping his fingers. "I know! This is number six!" Chuck immediately frowned. "Or is this lucky number 7?" Chuck shook his head. "Well, damn, I think I lost count, Casey."

Casey noticed despite Chuck's obvious inebriation, but his speech wasn't slurred at all. Casey grunted "stay put," and walked into Chuck's apartment. He spotted the bottle on the counter, and it was only about a quarter of the way full.

Casey shook his head in amazement. "So, Bartowski is a happy, foul-mouth drunk, huh?"

Casey reentered the courtyard and watched in amusement as Chuck filled a plate with freshly cooked burgers, while happily singing.

"So take! These broken wings! And learn to fly again…..learn to live so free!"

Wow, the moron's not a bad singer. "Hey idiot, what are you singing?"

Chuck jumped, yelping "AAAHHH!" Casey grunted in amusement.

Chuck narrowed his eyes at Casey. "Goddammit, Casey!"

Chuck's mood quickly changed, however. "Oh, that…..that was Mr. Mister. Broken Wings. It's a song from the 80s, you know, the Reagan era?"

Casey grunted in amusement.

"Burger's up, Casey! Say, you wanna watch The Chronicles of Riddick? You'll love it! Riddick is a total bad-ass!"

Casey didn't know what came over him. He agreed. He knew it was some sci-fi nerd movie, but this happy drunk thing Bartowski had going on was quite entertaining. Besides, there were no Reagan documentaries on tonight anyway.

Sometime later….

Casey could agree on one thing, Chuck was right. Riddick was a total bad-ass. Chuck resembled a kid in a candy store watching the movie after downing his burger. Casey had to admit, the burger tasted good.

Just after the scene where Riddick kills a guy with a teacup, there was a knock at the door. Chuck assumed it was probably Morgan.

Chuck bore daggers at the cursed door, yelling, "Stop knocking, for fuck's sake! Come on in!"

There was a pause, then the door opened to two very well dressed women, Sarah and Carina.

Casey noticed the two while Chuck stayed glued to the screen, fully immersed in the movie. Sarah and Carina wore shocked expressions on their faces.

Without warning, Chuck jumped from the couch, muttering "shit…..shit…shit" on his way to the restroom. He left the door open as the sound of his urination filled the apartment and a loud, "AAAAHHHH! Mother of God that feels soooo much better!"

The three spies in the living room scrunched their brows as Chuck started singing Motorhead's Ace of Spades, eliciting a chuckle to a bourbon-buzzed Casey. Casey muttered. "Heh….the kid's taste of music has improved."

Sarah crossed her arms. "Casey, what is going on here?"

Casey grunted unhappily. "Quiet, Walker! You're making me miss the movie!"

Sarah was about to respond when she heard a "ding" in the kitchen. Chuck bolted into the kitchen as though his life depended on it. "Sweet! Pizza rolls are ready!"

Casey turned, "Got any ranch dressing, Bartowski?"

"Do I have ranch dressing? Do I have ranch dressing you ask? Hell yeah! I have powdered, light, or the regular shit that Ellie complains makes her ass big, which is total horse shit considering she's what, 90 pounds soaking wet?"

"I'll have the regular shit."

Carina leaned into Sarah. "Ellie?"

Sarah curtly responded. "Sister."

Carina muttered, "Ah."

"Coming right up, big guy! You need a refill?"

"Just a beer."

"One cerveza coming up, mi amigo!"

Chuck exited the kitchen balancing two beers, a bowl of pizza rolls, and a bowl of ranch dressing. He passed Sarah and Carina, not even acknowledging the two. Sarah shook her head in confusion.

"Wait, have you two been drinking?"

Chuck unloaded his burden on the coffee table, waving a hand in dismissal. "Have we been drinking? Please." Chuck furrowed his brows in confusion for a moment. "Why yes we have."

Casey whined. "What? Just enjoying a little R&R."

Chuck turned and whispered to Casey. "Is that Carah and Sarina…..ur….Sarah and Carina?"

Casey eyed the two women conspiratorially, and replied, "Yep. And you are officially shit-faced, Bartowski."

Chuck frowned. "I thought so, but I wasn't sure with the amount of make-up those two have on, if the circus wasn't in town. And I'm not THAT drunk, Casey." Chuck turned to the TV, distracted, and whispered. "Wow….those special effects are the fucking bomb!"

Casey snorted. "It appears Walker and Miller have decided to crash our little fiesta. Looks like they've been clubbing."

"Clubbing? That's repos….preposter…..reposter… shit…..pre-post-ster-ous." Chuck held up his arms in a "victory" pose.

"Well done."

Chuck saluted Casey. "Thank you, Colonel, Sir!"

The two men grabbed their beer bottles, clanged them together in toast, and took a long swig.

Sarah cleared her throat, "Ahem."

Chuck eyed her quickly saying, "Bless you."

Carina laughed. "Jesus, Walker. Chuckles is wasted."

Chuck eyed the redhead incredulously. "I'll have you know, I can hold my liquor, thank you very little. Now, if you two don't mind, Casey and I are enjoying a guy's night in. Burgers, booze, movies, and no women who haunt me because I fucked up royally and didn't explain to them when I didn't run away with them in Prague, that Beckman threatened to burn her if I didn't refuse to run away with her…" Chuck trailed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

He turned to Casey. "Did I just say that out loud?"

Casey replied with eyes wide. "Yeah."

Chuck muttered. "Awww, shit."

The room grew silent as Sarah stood mouth agape, Carina looked confused, and Casey was now on his feet.

Casey broke the silence. "Alright, Bartowski. Spill."

Chuck grabbed his beer and poured it out on the coffee table.

Casey rolled his eyes. "Jesus, you're drunker than a country vicar. I didn't mean spill perfectly good beer, dumbass, repeat what you just said about Beckman?"

Chuck gingerly sat the beer bottle on the table and crossed his arms over his stomach, crunched over, and started rocking back and forth.

Sarah spoke next, in a low tone. "Chuck, what happened in Prague?"

Chuck shook his head, a look of pure disgust and anguish on his face.

Casey put a hand on Chuck to stop his rocking. Chuck bolted upright and quickly made his way to the bathroom. "I don't feel so good….."

The three spies listened as Chuck entered the bathroom, and the unmistakable sound of Chuck puking could be heard.

Sarah looked to Casey, her eyes doing all the talking. Casey nodded and headed for the door, but not before grabbing Carina by the arm. "Let's go, Miller. This is a conversation for grown-ups."

"Then why are you leaving, Johnny?"

Casey hauled Carina to the door. "Because you require constant supervision, you sperm bank."

Sarah slowly made her way to the bathroom and found Chuck curled against the tub with his knees to his chin. She sat on her knees in front of him.

"Talk to me, Chuck. What happened in Prague?"

Chuck wiped his face with both hands and stared at the floor. He took a deep breath.

"Beckman saw the surveillance of you trying to convince me to run away with you. Sarah, I never wanted to hurt you…..but I couldn't just leave my family and friends behind either, you know? I never asked for any of this! But….but the look on your face….I'm such an idiot."

Sarah now understood. She hated Beckman right now. Since Prague, Sarah convinced herself she would never be hurt again, by Chuck or anyone else for that matter. After putting herself out there for Chuck after Ellie's wedding, she decided she wanted a real life…with Chuck. Leave it to the power-that-be to once again interfere.

Chuck lowered his head and began sobbing quietly. Sarah closed her eyes for a moment and put a comforting hand on Chuck's arm. Her heart ached. Chuck looked completely broken.

"I thought…..I thought they had changed you, Chuck. I didn't want that to happen to you."

Chuck mumbled. "They will never change who I am, Sarah. You have to believe that. Yes, I played their game, but I will never, ever let them take away who I am. I won't let them have my soul."

Sarah squeezed Chuck's arm in a comforting fashion and replied almost above a whisper. "I thought you didn't want me, Chuck. I thought you chose being a spy over being with me."

Chuck shot his head up, pleading. "No, no, no….that's not true, Sarah! Please believe that! I wanted you more than anything…" Chuck trailed and lowered his head. "I still want you more than anything."

Sarah closed her eyes and leaned her head against Chuck's. "You haven't lost me, Chuck. I….I just thought….God, we can never get a break, can we?"

Chuck took a deep breath then raised his head, making eye contact. "I know I hurt you…but Sarah, Beckman threatened to burn you. I couldn't let that happen. I will always choose to protect you."

Sarah met Chuck's eyes. "What did Beckman do?"

"Beckman approached me two days before I was to meet you at the train station and told me she saw the surveillance of you asking me to run away with you in Castle. Beckman was going to burn you, and I had to continue with spy training, even if under confinement. I begged her not to burn you and let me simply turn you down….Sarah we never would have made it even if I did agree to leave with you." Chuck lowered his head again.

Sarah scolded herself mentally for being careless in Castle. She thought she was in a secure area when she approached Chuck prior to his departure for Prague. She was partly to blame for this mess.

"Chuck, this wasn't your fault. I shouldn't have approached you in Castle…..but I was desperate. I wanted to finally tell you how I really feel about you, then Bryce got in trouble and you downloaded the Intersect 2.0 and everything happened so fast…" Sarah trailed realizing what she just said.

Chuck shot his eyes to Sarah. "I know, that time was so confusing for the both of us, I mean….wait, what you just said what does that mean?"

Sarah looked Chuck in the eyes. No more deflecting. Chuck deserves the truth. I deserve the truth. "The night of Ellie's wedding, just before your dad interrupted us about Bryce being in danger, I tried to tell you something…..I'd like to finish."


"Chuck…I don't want to save the world…I want you."

Chuck smiled through his tears. "Sarah, there is nothing I want more than you. I am so sorry."

Sarah leaned forward and placed both hands on Chuck's arms. "Chuck, you didn't have any choice. You protected me. I should be thanking you rather than blaming you."

"That still doesn't change the fact that I hurt you. I should have found a way to let you know what was happening. I'll never forgive myself for that, Sarah. You don't know what it was like to walk away from you…..the look on your face…and me causing that look, and that pain…" Chuck trailed as he broke down in tears.

Sarah leaned in and wrapped Chuck in a warm embrace. As Chuck's sobs calmed, she whispered in his ear.

"Chuck, you can't fix everything. Beckman didn't give you a choice. You haven't lost me, I promise."

Sarah paused and broke the embrace to look in Chuck's eyes. "Chuck….what Beckman made you do… that why you stopped flashing?"

Chuck nodded. "Yeah, it seems Beckman's plan to turn me into some super-agent backfired. I mean, she will not listen! I kept telling her my emotions are the key to making the Intersect work! But she was so focused on results…..and I stopped flashing…what I did to you was killing me inside, Sarah."

Chuck lowered his head and sobbed again. This time, Sarah embraced him from the side, leaning her head on Chuck's shoulder. "Chuck, you did the right thing, you need to know that. Thank you for telling me what happened."

"I don't know what to do, Sarah."

"Hey, listen to me. You're here now, it all worked out. I am so glad you found a way back on the team."

"What good is being back on the team if I can't have you, Sarah? I mean, what if Beckman tries to separate us?"

"Chuck you have me. I'm not going anywhere, especially not now. We have to change Beckman's thinking. We're both in this together….you and me."

Chuck turned to look at Sarah. He cupped her face with both hands and smiled. Sarah rested her hands on the top of his. "I know talking about things is hard for you, Sarah…thank you for letting me explain what happened…..but I can't go another second without saying something to you I have wanted to say for a long time. I don't expect anything in return, so don't freak out, okay?"

"Okay, Chuck. I won't."

Chuck smiled and spoke with pure conviction. "Sarah, I love you, and I am willing to do whatever it takes to be with you. I think I'll say it again because it…it feels so good to finally say it to you….I love you. I love you, Sarah."

Sarah's eyes glistened with tears as she responded. "I…I want to say it back, Chuck…. I…."

"Sarah, you don't have to say anything if you don't want to."

Sarah buried her head in Chuck's chest. He wrapped her in a warm embrace, and rested his chin on her head. Sarah whispered. "I do want you, Chuck. I want us… much…I…..I wish I could say it back…..I want to say it back…I just…."

"Sarah, all that matters to me is being with you. I never want you to say or do anything that makes you uncomfortable. I'll follow your lead, okay?"

Sarah raised her head and let her eyes do the talking for her. Chuck smiled bright at the look of pure adoration and love in Sarah's eyes.

Sarah whispered, "Since I can't say it just yet, I'll show you." Sarah leaned in and kissed Chuck gently. Chuck cupped Sarah's face and poured all his emotions into the single kiss. Sarah snaked her arms around Chuck's neck.

Chuck quickly broke the kiss. "Crap….I just puked, I'm sorry, Sarah." His eyes grew wide as he tested his breath on his hand. The action elicited a chuckle from Sarah.

"It was fine, Chuck. I was glad to suffer through it. What were you drinking tonight anyway? You sounded like a drunk sailor."

Chuck smiled sheepishly. "Jack Daniel's. A friend in college introduced it to me." He grabbed his head. "And he warned me the hangovers are a real bitch!"

Chuck shot is eyes to Sarah, "Sorry….I shouldn't have said the "b" word around a lady."

Sarah kissed Chuck on the cheek and helped him stand. "No need to apologize. I think you're allowed a little leeway at the moment…well, especially for being shit-faced and all." Sarah smiled sweetly as Chuck frowned at her language. "Come on, let's get you some coffee and we'll decide how to deal with Beckman."

"That sounds like a plan. For once, I'm not going to try and convince you not to harm that fucking troll."

Sarah's eyes narrowed. "Chuuuuuck!"

"Crap, sorry…..alcohol gives me a severe case of foot and mouth disease."

Sarah gave a coy smile as she helped Chuck to the living room sofa. "I'm just teasing. I have a trashy mouth, you know."

"No you don't. You have a beautiful mouth. And by the way, you look gorgeous tonight."

Sarah smiled and kissed Chuck quickly on the lips. "Flattery? Really? Are you trying to get in my pants there, Sailor?"

"Uhn, no! No! I would never try to do that unless you …..uh.…you just look so beautiful tonight." Sarah smiled at the brain-dump expression on Chuck's face. I can still make him blush.

Sarah turned serious for a moment. "I'm just teasing you. You are a perfect gentleman, Chuck. That's exactly why after you sober up, you're going to take a shower, brush your teeth, and then this dress is going to be lying on the floor of your bedroom. You're supposed to be a genius, so you can figure out that last part on your own, okay?"

Chuck's eyes bulged. His lips moved, but nothing came out. Sarah noticed a twinkle in his eye.

"Why you dirty, dirty girl! Are you trying to take advantage of me?"

Sarah smiled innocently. "What, little old me?"

"I'm on to you, missy! But for the record, I don't mind being taken advantage of by you."

Sarah smiled seductively. "Good. I'll hold you to that in the next two hours when I'm doing dirty, dirty things to you since I'm such a dirty, dirty girl."

Sarah sauntered towards the kitchen to brew coffee, leaving Chuck's eyes wide and mouth agape.

Chuck gulped loudly and yelped. "Thank you Jack Daniel's!"

The End