Warning: Character Death
Disclaimer: I do not Castle, it's characters, or the movie this fic is based off.
A/N: See end for notes
She doesn't know why she's thinking about movies at a time like this. A sunny day, loveable character, living in their perfect world with nothing to fear. But it's one of those moments in tragic dramas where the main character gets bad news and the music overlaps the dialogue. And all you get is the broken expression on their face and then a montage of the character's life through their tragedy.
This is how Beckett wishes she could feel right now. Like she's in a movie and that everything will work out in the end. She want to feel soundless, because her ears are bleeding, thumping, and pulsing with the fragmented beat of her heart; life isn't that kind. Instead she hears it all. The loud, piercing sounds of the world, words that crush her form into a tiny shell, breaking her back, compressing her insides. She's falling through the open cracks of the ground and no one sees, no one's here to save her. Everyone is too busy with the sounds of their own, they hear but they're not listening.
Someone hear her screams.
Someone save her.
"What?" she asks, her breathing sharp, face contorted at the conundrum before her; she's stock-still and her expression frozen to display her confusion. She doesn't understand how this could happen.
And her father, her father stares with heartbroken, guilty eyes. He can't say those words again. She doesn't want to hear it.
"When?" she whispers, surprise, exasperation, disbelief all in one word, one breath. "Why?"
This can't be happening. He's her everything. He's what's left of her cracked foundation. And without him, what is she? Nothing. Nothing but a pile of rubble to be stepped on, swept up and thrown away. He's her back bone, her rock, her saving grace, the reason she continues to fight this fight!
He can't leave her. Her heart can't take it. No.
Her mind is whirling, blood pumping too quickly, making her head spin. She can't keep up, she's lagging.
Cancer, cancer, cancer.
It's on repeat. Every time it comes around it's makes her ears bleed. She imagines his blood turning black, thickening, and turning ice cold. His eyes losing life, his skin as grey as lead. She couldn't live with him like that, it can't be happening.
Beckett takes her father's hand, imagines it weak, unable to grip her back and then she's sobbing. Green eyes turning dark brown from grief, the pain as bad as a knife to the gut. Killing her the same way her mother went. And now her father. Dear God, why? Why is this happening?
Hot tears race down her cheeks, large droplets of desolation raining down from her eyes. Her stomach stirs, the muscles clench, jerking as if they're trying to free themselves. She feels it, the hot liquid bubbling, getting thicker, and building up, up, up until it comes splashing out her mouth onto the table in front of her.
It leaves her feeling empty, left alone with her unsettled mind, and shattered heart. She wants to curl up in a dark room, close herself off from all the words. But she can't un-hear the poisonous words he said to her.
Cancer, cancer, cancer.
It's eating both of them whole. And all she can do is watch.
She looks into her father's eyes and finds her own reflected back at her.
Later, they're sitting in her apartment, curled up together on the couch holding each other up. The realization keeps hitting her, like a baseball bat to the back of her skull that her father is dying. Something is attacking his brain, and no matter how many reassurances he gives her they caught it early, I feel fine, we've already started treatment it doesn't stop the tears from starting again.
"What can I do?" She asks, feeling helpless, defenseless, and naked.
He scratches his head and averts his eyes from her piercing gaze.
"What is it? Tell me, Dad."
"It's just that," he sighs, body deflating with it. "I thought that I would have grandkids before I- I died."
Beckett buries her face into the couch cushion to muffle the sound of her sobs. "I'm so sorry, Dad! I should've known-"
"No, no Katie. It's okay. You're focused on your career I know that and there's nothing wrong with that."
"But still I-"
"Katie, please don't make me feel bad for this. I know how important your job is and how important finding your mother's killer is to you. I could never ask you to give that up for me."
"You don't have to ask."
Jim sighs and reaches out to tug his daughter into his arms.
"I'm 29, Dad. Most people have families by now. I can't believe I've been so selfish," she cries, burying her face in his neck.
"We're gonna be okay, Katie. We just have to keep faith."
She grips his shirt in her fist, holding tightly to him. "It's not fair. It's so not fair I can't lose you too."
"You haven't lost me. And you won't as long as I'm here. This is not the end. The doctor said my chances of survival are greater than not. This is not the end, I will be here for a long, long time."
"You better," she mumbles, too broken inside to speak anymore.
A/N: Thank you all for taking the time to read my story! This year I've decided to participate in the Castle Summer Ficathon as a way to challenge myself to complete a AU multichapter story. I got this idea from a tumblr prompt challenge (if you wanna call it that) called the romcom AU. I decided to do a movie called The Switch. And while the idea and other things may stem from the movie, several things have been changed to fit these characters we all love so much.
I hope you all enjoy it, should you decide to spend the summer with me :)