Secrets of the Heart
Chapter 1

A/N: this is in response to Maeglin Yedi's Harry/Lucius challenge #3 and although it may start out with a lot of angst, it gets better.

Disclaimer: ::Sigh:: no, I don't own Harry Potter, but if I did, they would be having a lot more sex than they do in the books. ::winks mischievously::

To say that things were going well in Harry Potters life would label you a hideous liar. As of 2 hours ago, Harry had abandon his life on #4 Privet Drive for good. Nobody could make him stay there another second. He didn't care if Merlin himself appeared in front of him and told him to.
It wasn't that he was selfish or a spoiled brat (though he knew some people who might disagree with that)

A/N: ::cough:: Snape ::cough::

No, it was quite the opposite. Harry was an incredibly selfless, giving person, but he could only take so much abuse at the hands of his closed minded relatives. But that was beside the point.
What Harry was really focusing on was why he was now standing in the rain, freezing cold and incredibly alone. It was because he was depressed, not suicidal, but just so lonely that sometimes it just hurt to keep going on. Like each breath he took was forced. He felt numb. The only way he could get away from the agony of it was to cut himself.

A/n: there are no graphic cut scenes and the story does NOT focus on this a lot.

He would just pick up a blade and run it down his wrist and then everything would go away, he could just worry about the pain and not care about his scar, or Cedric Diggory, or even Voldemort. Strangely enough, he had been doing this for as long as he could remember, after all, he was always alone, even when he was a child. The result was his wrists and feet were covered with long, ugly silvery scars.
Harry had never told anyone about this and he kept it very well hidden. Frankly he just had to much to deal with as it was, he certainly didn't need any extra pressure added or people looking over his shoulder and never leaving him alone for fear he would kill himself. But most of all he didn't want them to be disappointed in him, not his friends, or Dumbledore, or Sirius and Remus , he didn't want to see the shame and disgust in their faces, or the words of comfort they would give to him. He just wanted….to be loved.
And that was why Harry was huddled up by himself in the darkness of Diagon Alley, crying softly to himself.
By the time the rain had stopped, he was to out of it to even notice when a person, dressed entirely in black, slowly walked down the street towards him, examining his bloody wrist before picking him up and carrying him off to an unknown destination.


Lucius Malfoy, like all other rich, arrogant, aristocrats, prided himself on being prepared for anything. After all, he didn't become one of the inner circle by being a fool. No, he was always in control of the situation and always looking for ways to increase his power and wealth.
But when he had decided to take a small stroll down Diagon Alley to clear his head, he had most certainly not expected to find Harry Potter laying against Ollivanders crying and bleeding, all alone and just waiting for someone like him to come along and take him away.
It almost sounded romantic.
Lucius knew this was some sort of sign that his luck was about to get a whole lot better. After all, Harry Potter, The Boy-Who-Lived, was laying on the ground, alone and weakened just as he walked by.
Lucius internally grinned. And to think he almost didn't go out today.
Without a moments hesitation, the Death Eater strode over to the small, underweight boy and picked him up like he weighed nothing at all. Lucius vaguely noticed how well Harry seemed to fit in his arms and the beginnings of one of his famous schemes began to take root in his head, making his mouth twist up into a smirk.

"Harry Potter." He said softly, taking in the slit wrists and the cloudy eye's that were gazing innocently up at him. " I do believe you can serve a better purpose than death."

In response they boy gave a soft whimper and buried his face in Lucius' expensive robes.


It was some time before Harry came back to reality. He had been on the edge of sleep and awareness for quite some time now, not wanting to face life at the moment.

"Harry." Said a deep, rich voice. "Wake up little one."
"Mmm," Harry mumbled in irritation, burying his face in the soft pillow underneath his head "No, wanna sleep."
"Oh, I don't think you do, petite. Open your eye's."
'Wait a minute.' thought Harry. 'I know that voice.'

With a gasp, Harry's emerald green eye's shot open and he bolted upright in the bed, not noticing his clothes, or rather lack of clothes, as the sheets slid seductively down his hips.
To the boys horror he was right about the voice. Lucius Malfoy, a known Death Eater and one of his enemies, was sitting on the bed, staring at him with those hard steel gray eye's that could burn into your soul and leave you feeling weak and pathetic.

"Hello Harry. I trust you slept well." Came the silky voice once again.
"M-Malfoy." Harry said, his voice no louder than a whisper.
"Yes, Harry." He said. "Lucius Malfoy."
There was a long pause as Harry took in the situation. Something seemed to be missing from this. "Why isn't Voldemort here?" He asked uncertainly, and more than a little nervously.
"Because, I don't feel that he has to know about this little….meeting of ours just yet." He said, smiling unpleasantly. "And, if you cooperate, I don't think he ever will know."
"Wh-what do you mean?" Harry asked, thoroughly confused.
"I couldn't help but notice those many scars on your body." Lucius said, changing the subject. Harry's eye's widened slightly and clutched his wrists to his chest. "I can tell from your reaction that this is a very personal subject, and I just can't help but think that the public deserves to knowif their hero is mentally unstable. After all, I would hate to ruin any chance you had of defeating Voldemort by depriving you of the help you, quite obviously, need." Said Lucius, keeping a straight face and sounding totally sincere. That man was really a master of deception. Harry supposed if Voldemort was the lord of darkness than Lucius was the lord of lies because both were very good at their jobs.
"N-no." Harry stammered. "Don't, y-you can't tell anyone, there all counting on me," He pleaded desperately. Knowing it was stupid to try and reason with a Death Eater let alone share the fact that he cared so much about the subject.
Lucius fixed Harry with a penetrating stare. "……Exactly how much would you be willing to give to keep me quiet?"
"ANYTHING!" Harry said, wishing he could take it back the second it was out of his mouth, but he couldn't seem to control anything he said. In reality, though, he meant it with all his heart. He just couldn't let anyone know. "Please, you can't tell anyone, I- I'll do anything you want."
Well now, that was unexpected. Lucius never imagined it would be this easy to get what he wanted. He really expected the boy to put up one hell of a fight. Well, maybe he would once he heard his proposition.
"Well, as long as your being so very willing to put out," He said slowly. "I believe I'll choose…..your body."
Harry's face scrunched up in confusion. "You want to posses me?" He asked. "L-like a zombie…or something."

'Oh god.' Lucius thought, looking at Harry with a mixture of amusement and astonishment. He couldn't believe the boy could be so dense, or innocent. What were those people thinking? Harry was absolutely ignorant in the matters of sex, that much was obvious. How could he be expected to go against the Death Eaters with an attitude like that? This was much better than Lucius had had anticipated.

"No Harry. I'm going to fuck you until you bleed." He said simply, taking a sick sort of pleasure at the way Harry's already pale face drained of all color.
"B-But, you're a-a guy. You can't do that."
"Oh?" Lucius raised an eyebrow. "And why not?"
"B-b-because….I-it's impossible." He whimpered, his eye's getting misty from the tears that had begun to well up in his eye's.
"I assure you it's quite possible. Now, do we have a deal, or do I have to go to that Skeeter woman and give her all the gory details. Or I could just call Voldemort, I'm sure I would be well rewarded for bringing you to him, and I know anything he would do to you is much worse than anything I would do. Because I want you alive, Voldemort, on the other hand, wants you dead."
Harry blinked back tears. "W-will I still get to go to school?"
"Yes. But if you agree, than all of your Hogsmeade weekends you will be at my disposal, as well as every vacation."
"……A-alright." He whispered, looking like he was going to faint on the spot.
Lucius gave a slight nod, his eye's gleaming. "Then I will see you later on tonight." He said, slowly standing up and brushing his robes off with his elegant hands. But before he turned to leave, the older man leaned down and captured Harry's soft, untouched mouth with his own, smiling against the boys lips as Harry gave a panicked noise but didn't try to struggle or get away. After a moment, Lucius pulled away.
"Until tonight, ma petite."


Harry watched with wide eye's as the door closed. He couldn't believe this was happening, and so fast, one minute he was free of the Dursleys the next he was Lucius Malfoys prisoner. And he was going to…to be forced to have sex with him.
Why did this always have to happen to him? Why couldn't he just live a normal life, like Ron or Hermione, why did this have to happen? He didn't want this……although, that kiss had done something strange to him. It made his stomach feel fluttery and sick, but not in a bad way.
Harry might not have known a lot about sex, but he knew enough to know he wasn't supposed to get a fluttery feeling when his enemy kissed him. That confused him more than anything. Was he a pervert or sick? What was wrong with him?

"Oh god." Harry moaned helplessly, burying his face in his hands and sinking back into the bed. "Somebody please help me." He sobbed, letting the darkness take him.

A/N: YAAAAAAAAAAY!!! The first chapter down. ::hugs all the readers:: hello all. This is my first HP/LM fic. I'm so happy. ::jumps on giant fluffy bed:: Review and tell me what you think. Am I good? Do I suck? Is the moon made of cheese? Huh?? huh?? huh??