Hey guys, so I've been reading a lot of phan fic recently (that's Dan Howell and Phil Lester fanfic for those of you that don't know) Anyhoo, all of the fics I've read portray Dan as being the darker, lonelier on, and so I thought I would have a go at writing it myself. I'm planning on continuing this, and Phil of course will come in the next chapter.

Hope you enjoy it, thank you for reading. Reviews are highly appreciated, and I should add that there might be triggers in this for some people.


Chapter one- Dan.

The water was cool against his skin.

He watched as bubbles floated to the surface in desperate streams. Strands of dark hair floated and swayed by his head, and he reached up with a hand to touch the silky mass. Feeling the effect that only water could have. His eyes stung, and his throat was burning. But he stayed where he was, floating in the bathtub. He let his arms drop to his sides, relaxing his muscles and letting them bob gently in the water. He could only hear the swish and gloop of water as tiny waves moved past his clogged ears. He was lost in his head, shut out from the rest of the world behind a bathroom door with a dodgy lock.

It was cold. Much colder than before. He didn't know how long he'd been under, but he felt a wash of cold water that was not welcome. He closed his eyes in the hope that it would go away, focusing on a melody in his head. Slow humming that only he was able to hear.

He had read that drowning was the worst way to die. Much to his disappointment, it wasn't. It was tranquil, and oh so easy. He deserved a harder death, really he did. But he was so far into this one, it was too late to back out now.

A feeling of fuzziness started to cloud his thoughts, and the light, airy feeling began to fade. The darkness he had been dreading started to take hold, and the feeling of panic bubbled in his stomach as his brain became aware of what was happening. His reflexes set in, and he fought with his body for control over his limbs. Splashing water over the sides of the bathtub as his legs kicked empty air, and his arms flailed uncontrollably.

With every ounce of willpower he had, he stayed down. Breathing in the liquid until his lungs were full and he had no strength left to fight. Until finally, the whispers of silence echoed in his head. And he felt that tranquil light he had been looking for come toward him. Teasing him and pulling him to a destination he had only dreamt about.

The last bubble left his smiling lips, and he blacked out completely.