Remix #5: Wedding

Accidentally for Real

"Grandma, don't you think you've had a little too much to drink?"

Teddy watched as Rose tried to distract her grandmother so Lucy could steal the glass from the Weasley Matriarch's hand.

"What's a witch gotta do for some fun 'round here?" Molly slurred as Rose led her to the sofa and helped her sit down.

"She's having a little too much fun."

Teddy glanced sideways at Albus and grinned at the conflicted expression on his face. It was quite clear that he wanted to join his cousins in their drunken escapades but wasn't sure if it was such a good idea.

"And you're not having enough." James grinned as he flung his arms on their shoulders and swayed back and forth.

"You're one to talk," Teddy scoffed as he put an arm around James' waist to steady him. The twenty-two-year-old guffawed as he downed his drink and tapped the glass against his brother's cheek. Albus took it with a sigh, extricated himself from James' hold, and shot Teddy an apologetic smile.

"I'll leave my brother in your capable hands."

"Wait, Al!" Teddy watched as Albus disappeared out the door, leaving him to handle a wasted James. He sighed as he helped the brunet to the sofa and sat him down beside his grandmother.

"Oh, look! If it isn't little Jamie!" Molly exclaimed and pulled James into a painful-looking hug. James groaned and struggled to escape.

"Grandma," Rose said helplessly, and Teddy tapped her on the shoulder.

"Go on out, I'll take care of them."

"Oh, I couldn't—"

"I insist. Besides, your grandpa might need your help more." Teddy gestured to where Louis and Roxanne were trying to convince Arthur to drink straight from the bottle.

Rose looked conflicted but finally relented and left, pausing at the door to throw a cursory glance over her shoulder before disappearing out.

Meanwhile, James had managed to escape his grandmother's death-lock as well as procure two more glasses of Firewhiskey. Teddy managed to grab the glasses just in time, before the two reached for them. The duo looked outraged, and James was leaning towards him, and in the heat of the moment, Teddy downed both the glasses in order to keep both grandmother and grandson from drinking any more. He instantly regretted it when he saw the expression on James and Molly's faces.

James grinned. Molly clapped her hands delightedly. Teddy groaned.


"That's why I'm telling you," Molly said as she put her arms around the boys' shoulders and pulled them close. "If you don't do it now, it'll be too late."

"It's already too late," James whispered, threw his head back, and roared with laughter.

Teddy pulled away from the two and finished his drink. "And I'm telling you," he slurred, "that I'm still too young to let myself be tied down by marriage!"

"Too young, he says! Even though he's a hop, skip and jump away from being a middle-aged man!"

"I'm only twenty-eight!" Teddy replied defiantly, pointing an accusing finger at Molly.

"And you're not getting any younger!" she retorted, smacking his hand away.

Teddy got to his feet with a grunt and crossed his arms. "Fine, then. If you find me someone I approve off, I'll marry them."

"Fine, then!"

"I have very high standards, I'll have you know!"

"High standards, my foot! As if I'd ever let you marry just any old thing!" Molly looked around for a moment and then struggled to her feet, using James' face for support. She then grabbed James by the wrist, forced him up, pushed him towards Teddy, made them hold hands, and went, "There! The perfect match!"

James stared at Teddy for a moment, and then slowly broke into a grin.

"So? What, you don't think I'm good enough for you, your highness?" James waggled his eyebrows and flipped his imaginary hair over his shoulder.

Teddy laughed, swayed to the side, and then grabbed on to James for balance. "I feel… dizzy."

James frowned. "Why don't you sit down?"

Teddy nodded and plopped down on the floor cross-legged, feeling a head-rush from having moved too fast.

"Easy, there," James said, holding Teddy's wrist to support him. Teddy breathed deeply, trying to get his vision to focus, when Molly shouted loudly.

"Everyone, come watch! Teddy's proposing to Jamie! They're getting married!"

There were loud exclamations from over the music blaring from outside, and all the cousins—and Arthur—began to troop in, hollering unintelligible things.

James was yelling back saying something about it being one of Molly's practical jokes, but everyone was already surrounding them and cheering them on. Teddy pressed a hand to his mouth and inhaled through his nose, focusing all his senses on not being sick. James leaned down, probably to ask if Teddy was OK, but everyone was screaming and shouting, and it was impossible to make out what James was saying. Teddy motioned for James to pull him up, and James reached out to do so, but the circle around them was dangerously unsteady, and someone ended up pushing James.

The two went sprawling across the floor along with whoever was behind them, and Teddy groaned as he rolled off Fred and tried to push James off of him.


"You're not doing it right!" Molly was screeching even as Arthur and Albus tried to hold her back. "Here, I'll show you!"

She grabbed them by the back of their necks and brought their faces together, probably intending for them to kiss, but, instead, because of their awkward positions on the ground, Teddy's forehead smashed into James' nose. James shouted out and clutched his bloody nose, rolling off Teddy and lying on his side. Someone had taken Molly away from them, thankfully, and Teddy leaned over James to inspect the damage.

"Let me see," he said, pulling James' hands away, and winced as he caught sight of the damage. "We should put some ice on it."

"'M fine," James said gruffly, but let Teddy pull him up anyway. Teddy picked an empty glass off the table, took the ice from it, and pressed it against James' nose. He leaned closer to get a better look, and James closed the distance between them and pecked him on the lips.

Teddy jerked back, startled, but James only grinned. "What, didn't you hear them say that you could kiss the bride?"

"Seriously, James." Teddy positioned James' head so he was looking at the ceiling and made sure his appearance hadn't changed. James' impulsiveness always took him off guard.

"Dad will be thrilled when he hears we're married." James laughed nasally, and Teddy rolled his eyes.

"Not as thrilled as I am, I'm sure."

James grinned. "Congrats on getting married, mate."

Teddy scoffed. "Congrats on getting a nosebleed instead of a kiss, mate."

"I can always get another kiss," James replied easily and winked.

Teddy snorted. "Next you'll be demanding kids."