SPOILERS: Big for Meridian


Sorrow - Jack's POV


Sorrow. That's the first word I think of as I look down at the body of my friend. His body swathed in bandages so you can't really tell who it is. But I know, everyone gathered in the room knows. The silence in the room has been thick since Doc Fraiser confirmed that he was gone, no one seems to know what to do or say.

No one made a song and dance when I told Jacob to stop his treatment; no one forced the issue that we should keep trying to save him. Maybe the reality had struck everyone else; there was nothing we could do to help him. We let him go with as much dignity as his condition offered.

I can hear Carter's muffled sobs and I school my expression. I can not show weakness in front of my team. I can not show them how much this hurts. Oh, but it hurts so much, it is difficult for me to ignore the pain blossoming in my chest. I have lost a lot in my lifetime, more than any person should have to, but I had always taken comfort in the belief that my team would be safe, that somehow they would be immune to my string of bad luck.

I guess I was wrong.

He was young and vibrant. He had a whole life ahead of him. Even though he had lost almost as much as me, his parents, his wife, I had always held out some hope that he would find happiness in the end. I never thought he would find it like this.

He died for a cause that was not his own, trying to save people that were not his own. That was his way, he was a humanitarian at heart and his soul was pure and uncorrupted, even after everything we had been through and experienced in the last five years. He was a rare man, capable of such complete trust and compassion. His loss is great, and it's weighing heavily on my heart.

SG-1 would never be the same; we have lost our emotional core, our center of morality and humanity. Even though I know he has gone on to better things it does not ease my mind any. I have lost my best friend. I was blessed to have known this man, to have had the privilege of calling him friend.

I take a deep breath to try and ease the pain in my heart, but it doesn't help. I know nothing will, time heals all wounds, that I know from sad experience. Time is what it will take before I can think of the good and bad times with him without the flare of pain and emptiness in my chest.

Goodbye Daniel, I think as I cast my eyes to the ceiling, I hope you find what you are looking for.

The End