AN: Hi I'm still alive! Guess that weekly updated thing lasted all of five minutes. I kind of read back through my other stories, realized they were crap, and gave up. But I'm willing to try again? Maybe?
"Yeah… So apparently the only way I can attract a girl is to literally be Megamind."
As his mother chuckled and warbled contrived encouragements over the phone, Bernard leaned, groaning, into his kitchen sink. "Uh huh. Thanks mom," he droned. "Love you," and hung up.
He dried the last of the dishes, washed his hands once, twice… And then shoved his head under the stream of water, shaking it loosely. Uuuugggghhh...
So it was his face? That Megamind had used to woo that reporter chick? Literally used his image as a mask… And it had worked?
Shutting off the tap, he flipped back his hair and sent water slapping to the other side of the kitchen. The Minion had left a number, but calling was the last thing he wanted to do.
Why the crap would Megamind choose him? Why? No one liked him! He was so…
Bernard found himself in front of his bathroom mirror, frowning, his wet hair still dripping down his face. Oh yeah. Uh huh. What a freaking hunk. He looked like he had just been through a washing machine. Which he had, actually. Just a few hours ago. He still hadn't changed. Why would he? He was clean.
He tried for a smile. It was a sincere effort. Now he kinda looked like a pound puppy.
According to reports, Roxanne Ritchi had kissed Megamind while he was wearing this face. That attractive, famous, well-to-do lady had looked at this face and thought: Yep, that looks good, what a cool guy, I'd sure like to kiss that. And then she did. Proven fact. Already happened.
But she had already… He'd met her before. For interviews and stuff about Megamind. And she'd been nice, but in that I-feel-sorry-for-you-and-everyone-around-you kind of way. The chances of romance were zero. So what had Megamind done that changed that?
It really was his personality wasn't it?
AN: Please Review!