Oh, my goodness. I do not have enough 'I'm sorry' 's to give to you guys. I could have sworn I had finished this story, only to come back two years later to realize I never did. I nearly cried. I found out four days ago and immediately went to reread my story to try to remember how I wanted to end it. While this wasn't what I pictured a million years ago, this was the best I could conjure up. I couldn't get back my connection with this story to write more. But, I tried to close loose ends and at least give you a decent ending. I don't believe in authors abandoning stories. That's why I wrote this one. Hopefully this will give you closure. For the most part, it did to me.
Regardless, if you are a returning reader, thank you so much for your time and support. You guys are awesome! To my new readers, hello and thank you for reading!
Without further ado:
Disclaimer: I do not own the Fifty Shades book series nor any of its characters.
The next morning went by in a blur. I was visited by almost everyone I knew from Christian's family to even my own. Kate had been hysterical and wouldn't let me go for a full five minutes. Elliot had to calmly drag her away to calm her down, much to my relief because my side was hurting. Grace had asked me how I was feeling, both as a doctor and a loving mother-in-law while Carrick reassured me that I was safe. My mom and Ray stayed with me the longest, my mom nearly having an emotional breakdown at seeing her only daughter in this kind of state. Ray tried to blame himself, saying something among the lines if he hadn't of been in the hospital things would have been different. But I fought him on that and explained to him it had nothing to do with either of them. It didn't take long for him to back down but the look on his face would haunt me for a while. I didn't tell them the whole truth about why I was out so late the night I was kidnapped, but just that it was bad luck on my part. Easy enough, I had changed the conversation and told them about Little Blip. The joy on their faces had love swell in my heart.
While my visitors hung out with me, I couldn't help but notice my husband sitting on a chair in the corner. His eyes were hollow and when no one was looking, his body was hunched over. When someone would look his way, whether it was to talk with him or just check on him, his posture changed, and he had his usual CEO look in play. I tried to meet his eyes a few times and once, his found mine. We locked gazes and I could see the emotion hidden there. But, before I could do anything, he would glance away.
My poor fifty.
A little after eleven in the morning, my parents finally left my room. I sagged back into the pillows on my bed with a sigh of relief. I was glad they came, but I was exhausted from the visits. As I relaxed, I took a deep breath to calm my mind. But it was a mistake; pain shot through my side and I squeezed my eyes shut to ride the feeling out. Looks like I ran out of the pain medication if I could feel the wound like that.
"Ana?" Christian called my name and I barely nodded my head to acknowledge him. I could feel his hand slip into my own and give it a firm squeeze.
After a minute, the pain subsidized, and I opened my eyes again. Concerned grey eyes peered into my own blue ones and gave a small smile. "I'm okay," I managed. Seeing his expression, I brought my hand up to caress his face gently to sooth his worry.
I could feel my husband lean into my touch and he closed his eyes, almost like he was savoring the touch. My smile deepened and I wanted so badly to lean into him and have his arms enclose around me. Just like nothing had happened.
Events of last night entered my mind and my demeanor changed. I couldn't help but tear up as I remembered my husband fall to the floor, blaming himself for everything that had happened to me. That wasn't my fifty and it scared me to see how broken he was over this. I tried to argue with him last night, but he had tunnel vision and ignored my protests. While he was the one that made me leave in the safety of my own home, it wasn't his fault that Jack had happened to find me. And no matter what I said to him, he was lost in his own thoughts. There was nothing I could do for him last night. I even tried to get out of bed, despite my entire body protesting and if it hadn't had been for the heart monitor being hooked up to him, I would have made it to him. But alas, a nurse just happened to have walked in and realized my intentions and put a stop to my plan. Christian had sobered up within seconds, also realizing my intention and helped me back to a resting position and distracted me as the nurse gave me more medication for my pain. I couldn't remember anything after that, just waking up to Christian sleeping in a chair next to me.
Bringing me out of my thoughts, Christian said, "Are you in pain?" His voice was void of emotion, but I didn't think he had meant it, probably just exhausted from the past few days.
I blinked and stared at him, realizing his eyes were opened and staring straight into mine. He pulled his head away from my touch and my hand fell to the bed.
"No," I muttered and looked down. My vision became blurry, but I tried to blink them away. No such luck. Instead, it got worse and before I could help it, the tears slid down my face and dripped down into my lap. I couldn't tell if it was because of the events that happened, or how Christian was taking this all and blaming himself.
Christian noticed because he placed a hand under my chin and gently lifted my face up. I didn't resist but my eyes were still downcast. "Look at me." He commanded in a gently tone. I shook my head. "Ana, look at me." He said again, this time a little more commanding.
Hesitantly, I glanced up. My eyes stared into his and seeing all of the emotions fill his eyes, I cried. Where his voice was void of the emotions, his eyes made up the rest. Tears continued to pour out of my eyes, and I couldn't stop them. My emotions were uncontrollable, and I hated to feel like this. But more so, I hated to see my husband kicking himself over the events that had occurred.
Before he could say anything, I blurted out, "It's not your fault and you can't keep kicking yourself up over it." Christian nearly flinched back at the words, shocked that was the first thing I said. I continued, "I can't stop thinking about last night, about the things you said. And… And, I'm sorry. I left and because of me, everything happened. I put myself at risk without anyone around me. I knew the consequences, but I was so mad at you, I didn't…" I hiccupped and turned my eyes away for a slip second, my memories of the past few days surfacing. I turned back to him, my eyes wide and filled with fear. His expression was harder to read, and it scared me. I continued to ramble, but this time, speaking about the things that scared me. "It's my fault that I was kidnapped and raped. And now, I have to live with it." My voice broke and I couldn't help the ugly cry that I had been holding in for a while now. "I was touched by another man, and I… And now you… you..-,"
"What, won't love you anymore?" Christian's harsh words cut through me and I visibly flinched away.
"Jesus, Ana, why the fuck would you even think that?" Christian took his hand away and stood up. I wanted to look up, but fear filled me, and I stared down at my hands, unsure of what to say or do. My husband walked away but stopped and came back. And he did it again. As he paced, he said, "I am so angry about the events that occurred these past few days, about what happened to you. I wish I could go back in time and change it all, to make sure none of this happened." He stressed, and I could hear the truth behind it. "But do you know what doesn't change, Anastasia?" By this time, he came back to me and before I could understand what was going on, he scooped up both of my hands and held them in his.
I glanced up and the tears came to a halt. My eyes widen as the emotions in his eyes changed to one, a love so strong that nothing could break it.
"Nothing will change my mind about how much I love you." He growled. His hands tightened on mine. "Just because of what that bastard did, does not make you his. You. Are. Mine. And nothing will ever change that."
"But-," I tried to counter but to no avail.
'NO." He yelled. He squeezed his eyes shut and for a moment, I thought he wasn't going to say anything. But then he opened his eyes and they were glossy with unshed tears. He released my hands to cup my face. "I refuse to let Jack win, because this is exactly what he wanted, Anastasia. He wanted you to pay about what happened, but he did this to get back at me because I was adopted instead of him." My eyes turned to confusion. What? "But I'm not letting him win this. Just because Jack did this, does not mean I won't love you anymore." And then he did something that took me by surprise.
"I took a vow, that I will safeguard and hold you dear and deep in my heart our union and you. I promise to love you faithfully, forsaking all others, through the good time and the bad, in sickness and in health, regardless of where life takes us." He said while looking me straight in the eyes. "I will protect you, trust you, and respect you. I will share your joys and sorrows and comfort you in times of need. I promise to cherish you and uphold your hopes and dreams and keep you safe at my side. I give you my hand," he released my face and then offered his hand to me. I didn't even hesitate before I slipped my shaking hand into his warm, strong one. "My heart," he gently pulled our combined hands and rested them against his chest to where I could feel his beating heart, "and my love from this moment on for as long as we both shall live." He finished.
I was lost for words as he had finished reciting his vows from our wedding. It felt like a lifetime since our vows and we were wedded. But it all came back to me, the love and warmth from his words. Before I could say anything, he continued.
"I failed at protecting you, Ana. I wasn't there when you needed me most. But, I'm not going to let that happen again. I will be here every step of the way, through sickness and in health. I won't let you go another step in this alone. I will love you and our child no matter what." He then pulled me towards him, careful of my wounds and kissed me.
At first, I was hesitant. I thought back to being in that room with Jack as he was all over me. He hands on my body and his lips on my own. I thought about how I wished it could all end. And the only way I could protect my mind from the harsh reality, was thinking about the one man in front of me. He was my light in the darkness. Thinking about him helped me through the pain both physically and mentally. And here he was now.
I pushed past the hesitation and kissed him back with as much love as I could muster, my eyes closing. I pour my heart out in our kiss, hoping he could feel what I was feeling. I couldn't tell if he was, but I suddenly felt his hand at the back of my neck, pushing me towards him to deep it even more. My hands reached up and ran through his hair to only grab it before I opened my mouth. Christian took notice as his own mouth parted, and his tongue went exploring.
A groan escaped me and suddenly I wanted him. My hands slipped from his hair and began to travel down his body in need. But I was stopped.
"As much as I wish we could continue this," Christian signed as he pulled back. His free hand grabbed my exploring one and brought it down to rest on the blankets while his other hand still gripped the back of my neck. His thumb gently caressed my skin and he leaned forward to rest his forehead against mine. "It'll have to be done at a different place and different time."
My eyes slowly open and I stared at him to find his eyes gazing at me lovingly. He gave me a soft smile and I returned it.
"Promise?" I whispered.
"You bet your ass, it's a promise." He whispered back and then pecked my lips. He then took a seat down on the bed next to me, pulling me into his arms and rested his chin lightly on the top of my head. I leaned into him, my head resting on his chest and listened to his heart beat.
We stayed like that for a while, savoring each other's presence. Despite everything that had happened the past few days, I could tell that Christian's demeanor had changed. Instead of being angry at the world, he was here, scared and happy all at once. I was safe now, and so was Little Blip. It was going to take some time to heal from not only the physical wounds that littered my body, but also from the mental ones I've received.
But, I thought as I snuggled closure to my husband just as the nurse came in to give me more pain medication, I knew I was going to survive and overcome this obstacle that got in our way. If I needed to talk to Flynn about the events, I knew he would be there for me. I had Kate, Mia, Grace, my parents and so many other people out there who could help me with this traumatic event. And more importantly, I had Christian.
As if reading my thoughts, I heard the rumble of his voice against my ear as he whispered, "Before you fall asleep, we need to get you something to eat. You're not just eating for one anymore."
I smiled and gently pushed off of him to sit up. Christian was going to be here for us both, no matter what. He was going to keep us both on track and get us what we needed. And I was going to do the same thing. We are going to be starting a family here in the next couple of months and nothing was going to change that.
Christian may have started off on a bad start about the news of Little Blip, but now it was going to be okay. What happened to me wasn't something that I wished upon anyone and it could take years for me to overcome. But, I have people who will be there to help me through it all. And for that, I am thankful.
I stared up at my husband as he gazed down at me lovingly. I gave him a shy smile and said, "I love you, Christian."
He returned the smile and leaned down, brushing his lips against mine. "And I love you, Anastasia. Don't ever forget that."
Alrighty my readers, that's it! Thank you so much for reading!
I will add this, I didn't add any information regarding Jack and Christian being adopted. I think I should have but I couldn't figure out how to. I didn't think I could have wrote another chapter because it would have had been so short and I don't think it would have turned out good. Plus, the books explained it beautifully enough. Lol. Also, I didn't add anything about what was going to happen to Jack. Same reasons I just stated. I wanted to kill him off, thinking Taylor could have slipped in to his room while he was sleeping and inserted an over dosage of pain relief to his IV. But.. Idk. I'll let the imagination go. Please don't hate me. I just couldn't figure it out…
Let me know if you have any questions though! I'll try my best to PM you back
Have a great day!