What wanders in a negative space in a negative time? Johnny fucking Test. Wanna see proof, look at the Metacritic page. Cause I didn't. I'm an adult with no time for that shit.
As the narrator, I don't give two shits about this fucking fanfic. But I'm obligated by my waifu, the Dark Queen from Battletoads.
So if memory serves me right, I know the show takes place in Pork Belly. Because talent. And here we are in Canadian House 101, two stories high and yet still very generic. Let me tell you, watching these shows annoy me because they get these badass two story houses and yet here I am without a fucking second story or a basement. Whatever.
Anyways, the Lawyer Mom is not home as always. I am to assume not only is she blowing the black CEO of her company, but also getting eaten out by her female coworkers. This may seem meanspirited, but Mrs. Test after twenty years with no sex, has turned her into a sexual deviant on the same levels as Laura from Carmilla.
You see, Mr. Test is so gay that Harvey Milk said he was gay. Why is he obsessed with cleaning you ask? Wait. I didn't say he was obsessed with cleaning. Fuck.
Mr. Test is obsessed with cleaning. Why you ask? Well, Mr. Test is a cum dump, and sometimes it gets everywhere and he has to clean it up for fear someone will slip on a gay dude's jizz.
But yeah, Mrs. Test was not there, and Mr. Test was cleaning up last night's orgy in the living room. Because as Mr. Test mistakenly read in the Canadian Bible, all orgies will take place in the living room.
Who else was there, Mary and Susan Test in their lab. After seeing Gil fucking their dad with a strapon, they realized that they would never get with someone with a Y chromosome.
"Mary, I just realized something," Susan pondered.
"What is it?" Mary looked up from their gigantic whatjamacallik.
"Browsing tumblr, I've discovered this thing called lesbian, and after assessing our personalities, I've come to the conclusion we are both, gay as fuck," Susan explained sexuality to Mary.
"What does this mean?" Mary asked, oblivious to her sister.
"It means we have ridiculous amounts of sex," Susan pulled off her stiff skirt.
"But isn't that incest?" Mary was a dunce, as it was really according to the writer how smart all of them were.
"Incest is wincest!" Susan declared, and they took it upon themselves to ride each other raw.
Unfortunately, this fic is rated T for Totally Radical and we must focus on the most important character, Johnny Test.
Now Johnny is a very... he's an asshole. No matter how much beer you give me, I will never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever evereeverevereveereeveveveveveeeeeeveveveveveevevevevevevrvevreveevervevrvevevrevrevrevevevevevev say a nice thing about him.
Even if he is Albert Einstein reincarnated as an asshole, I won't even talk about him. To be honest, I would rather talk about Susan and Mary's incestuos relationship. Because let's be honest, they were the same character. They just needed incest.
But anyway, as Bubsy, Tidus, and Dukey walked into the coffee shop they decided they didn't need Johnny anymore and became the Battletoads. Bubsy became Zitz, Tidus became Rash, and Dukey became Pimple.
They brought along Susan and Mary and gave them their own vlog where they helped underdeveloped twin characters in Canadian shows explore their possible incestuous feelings.
The Battletoads went and beat up my waifu, and Johnny hung himself in a gas station bathroom.