*A/N* Hey guys! Sorry it's been a while, but the bug for this story finally kicked in again so I decided to finish this chapter.
Just a few things first. Remember when I said Lily won't be a part of this story? Yeah, I sorta changed my mind! Keep reading to find out more! I hope you enjoy!
For those of you waiting on an update to C&C, I am about halfway through the next chapter and hope to have it up in a few weeks! Im so glad to be back!
"I Swear We're Stuck in a Crackfic!"
I don't want to alarm you, but I think we may have been wrong about Sirius. I don't think he was the secret keeper. In fact, I have solid proof that it was young Mr. Pettigrew. A lot has happened this year, and if I may, I want to let you know what has been taking place.
It all started when Voldemort imperiused me to allow him to take the job as Defense Professor….
Remus sighed heavily, as he sat in a chair in his rundown shack and reread the letter from Dumbledore for what seemed like the millionth time. He had received it just that morning, and while most of it was disturbing, some of it was downright horrifying.
Sirius is innocent. He thought, as he sighed with despair and slumped further down into the chair he was sitting in. He's been innocent all along, and I just let him rot in Azkaban.
"What kind of friend am I?" He asked the empty shack he lived in. "What kind of monster let's his friends…"
"…carry on pranking the world without having the decency of lending a hand?" A voice from the darkness asked. "A pretty poor one Moony."
Remus leapt up from his chair and had his wand out in seconds.
"Who's there?" He demanded sternly, wondering how and why this person was able to sneak up on him without his werewolf senses alerting him to their presence.
"An old friend." Harry said with a grin, as he shuffled into view.
"James?" Remus asked in a strangled whisper.
Harry chuckled. "I think I'm a bit small to be Dad, Moony, but I take it as a compliment anyway."
"Harry?" Remus said in an equally strangled whisper. "How did you…why are you…sweet Merlin you look like your father." He finally said as he slowly lowered his wand. "Except for your eyes…"
"They are my Mum's." Harry said with a gentle smile. "I've been told that before."
Remus just stood there staring at Harry for a moment, but then he took an unconscious step back as he held up his hands.
"Harry, as much as I would love to give you a hug right now, I'm not safe. You see, I have a condition…"
Harry rolled his eyes, but Remus's actions weren't unexpected. The full moon was tomorrow after all.
"Remus, before you start with the woe is me, life is pain, I'm a werewolf bit, let me save a bunch of time and questions by doing this…."
He puffed in front of the stunned man and touched his forehead without an explanation, then he stepped back and watched with a grin on his face. Remus cried out in shock as he stumbled around at the onslaught of memories, but after a minute or so, he finally straightened up and looked at Harry.
Then he promptly burst out laughing.
After a few minutes, he sat down in the raggedy chair and attempted to catch his breath, but after glancing up at Harry again, he began laughing once more.
"Goodness, even Sirius didn't find it that funny." Harry laughed, as Remus shook his head and dried the tears that were streaming down his face.
"I'm sorry Harry, I just find it hysterical!" He cried. "I mean, here we are back in 1991, and you and Sirius have obviously cooked up something major. I cannot wait to see what you guys have in store!"
"Well, it's not just us. Bella and Tom are in on it too." Harry replied.
Remus stopped dead still and stared at Harry once more, before bursting into laughter again. Harry just stood there wondering if Remus was cracking up mentally, but finally the old wolf got himself together and stood up.
"I'm sorry." He sputtered, as he engulfed Harry in a hug. "I really am, but damn Harry, I just…I just…I don't even know what to say."
"What you need is an explanation, but I actually don't have the time to give it to you. I just left them sitting in Tom's quarters at Hogwarts. They have pranked Snape, and I have to be there in the morning to see it play out. What I can do is puff you back to Tom's quarters and let them explain everything. I have classes tomorrow, so I can't be up too late and its already past midnight."
"All right." Remus said as he chuckled. "But before you do…"
He trailed off as he pulled out his wand and cast two charms over himself. One was a charm invented in 2062 by an Irish wizard, and it allowed a werewolf to keep his human mind without the aid of the complicated and expensive Wolfsbane potion. The other charm he cast was invented in 2236 by a Canadian witch, and it negated the pain that came with the transformation all together.
"Now I feel much better." Remus said with a sigh, as he stood up and began popping his back, knees, neck, fingers, and any other joint mentionable.
"Do you want me to take the curse from you all together?" Harry asked, not even flinching at the sound of popping joints.
"Nah." Remus said with a shake of his head. "Being a werewolf is what makes up 'Remus Lupin'. Besides, I think I'm the only soul who has been a werewolf twelve stinking times!" He exclaimed. "Not that I complained after these wonderful charms were invented, and anyway without the wolf I'm just another wizard. I wouldn't be Moony."
Harry smiled fondly. "I suppose you have a point. If you change your mind though, just let me know."
"I won't. These charms were lifesavers to werewolves everywhere when they were invented. I'll be fine now."
"If you're sure then." Harry said with a chuckle. "Shall we?" He added, as he offered Remus his arm.
"We shall." Remus replied with a large grin.
Then Harry puffed them back to Hogwarts.
The next morning, Harry and company filed into the great hall in a somewhat normal fashion, though everyone kept shooting odd looks at Harry due to his ear muffs. His explanation of 'my ears are cold' wasn't fooling anyone, especially Fred and George, who looked around the great hall with grins on their faces as they tried to figure out what the prank was.
It wasn't until Snape walked in that everyone realized that something was about to happen. Harry looked at Snape oddly though, because he wasn't purple like expected. Instead, he was solid white. His hair was white, his robes were white, and skin was just as white as a sheet of paper.
Snape, quite literally, growled at everyone who dared to snort as he walked by, but as he sat down at the head table, his gaze travelled over to the Gryffindor table where Harry, who now had tears streaming down his face as he tried not to laugh, was sitting.
And Harry would have gotten away without laughing out loud, if it hadn't been for Tom.
The other Professors hadn't said a word, though most, including Dumbledore, were unsuccessfully trying to hide their amusement, but Tom shattered the shaky atmosphere all together when he walked in.
With an over-exaggerated flair, Tom stopped dead in his tracks and exclaimed loudly, "Good God Severus, what happened to you?! Did you fall into a vat of flour?!"
Everything descended into chaos as students and Professors alike gave into their laughter.
He is such a devious bastard. Harry thought, as he and Ron leaned against each other and howled with laughter.
Snape looked murderous, but there wasn't anything he could really do, considering it was Tom who had set off the powder keg. It took a minute or two for everyone to settle down, but Tom took his normal seat and simply pretended that he was over his 'shock.' Harry still didn't know why Snape was white instead of purple, but the answer soon came with the morning mail.
He hid a smirk when a plain brown barn owl, with a familiar red envelope in its beak, landed lightly beside the still scowling potions Professor. It dropped the letter beside his plate and took off quickly as everyone stared at it. The letter began to smoke ominously, but before Snape could even reach out to grab it, it exploded.
Harry nearly lost it completely, as Bella's disguised off key voice began singing in a childlike manner.
Casper, the friendly ghost, the friendliest ghost you know. Though grown-ups might look at him with fright, the children all love him so.
He always says hello, and he's really glad to meetcha. Wherever he may go, he's kind to every living creature.
Grown-ups don't understand why children love him the most. But kids all know that he loves them so, Casper the friendly ghooooost!
After the howler ripped itself apart, the great hall went completely still, until a few brave muggle borns began snorting and snickering. It was then that Harry gave up all pretense and once again started howling with laughter. This set off every other muggle born and raised who was familiar with the old cartoon.
Snape's face, despite his charmed visage, began to redden with rage.
"POTTER!" He screamed, causing Harry to only laugh harder.
This seemed to piss Snape off even more. The man drew his wand and, as fast as lightning, snapped off a reducto curse. Harry, who was now coughing due to all the laughing he was doing, absentmindedly reached out and grabbed the blue ball of magic with his bare hands.
This caused an abrupt silence, as everyone stared at Harry in shock.
"Holy crap! Do you see that?" Someone exclaimed loudly, causing Harry to look up sharply.
He stared at the curse in his hand with wide eyes, then promptly crushed the ball of magic, causing it to dissipate with a loud pop as if it were simply a balloon.
"Ooops." Harry muttered loudly, as he stared at Tom.
"Ooops? That's all you have to say to that?" He asked, causing Harry to shrug.
"What the HELL Snivellus?" Sirius suddenly bellowed, as he, Bella, and Remus chucked off their invisibility cloaks. "That could have killed somebody!"
"Crucio!" Bella shouted, causing Snape to instantly conjure a slab of stone to block it, which exploded on impact.
"Honestly woman, I'm sitting right here!" Tom cried as he jumped out of the way of flying debris.
"Sorry." She snarled through gritted teeth, as everyone's eyes became wider than galleons at the sight of the two Azkaban fugitives and the unknown wizard who was with them.
"That was us who did that to you, not Harry you great big greasy bat!" Sirius continued to yell.
"Um, Harry, if I were you, I'd do something quick." Remus muttered, as he stood behind Harry with his wand leveled at the head table, as Dumbledore scrambled to his feet.
"You're lucky Harry's instincts are spot on." Bella said coldly as she glared at Snape, who seemed to be frozen as he glanced at Bella, Sirius, Remus, and Tom. "Because I saw him. He was too busy coughing to really be paying attention to what was going on around him. If he hadn't been so quick, those other children around him…COULD HAVE DIED!" She screamed.
"Well, it's not like they would have stayed that way." Tom said, causing Bella to glare at him.
"That's not the point!" She snapped, causing Tom to throw up his hands in surrender as he backed away slowly.
"Bella's right." Harry said darkly. "It would have taken a massive amount of maneuvering to bring Neville, Ron, and Hermione back to life. I would have had to gather up their splattered bits, put them back together piece by piece, and hope I didn't miss anything important. I can work most miracles, but splattered bits are the worst. Snape's lucky I'm feeling generous today though, because I'm seriously rethinking his 'alive' status right now, and let me tell you, if I kill him, his soul would cease to exist."
"What do you mean?" Tom asked, as he glanced at Harry nervously.
Harry sighed. "To be slain by Death is the ultimate death. There is no 'next great adventure'. If I kill someone, they stay that way forever. You will cease to exist…period. That's why I don't kill people. I can, but I won't, not even if you have the blackest soul on Earth. I truly feel it is not my place to make that decision. The Original Death felt the same way and it's the reason he created dementors, and why I also create them. It allows me to kill the body, but not the soul."
"Note to self, have Tom and Bella do the killing if need be, not you." Sirius said thoughtfully.
"Pranking Snape may not have been the best idea, but for him to throw a reducto into a group of semi-defenseless children is just not right." Remus said. "You're not going to kill him though, are you Harry?"
"No, it's not my place to erase his soul from existence." Harry replied, as he glared daggers at Snape. "But he only did that because I was laughing at him. I think something in his brain shorts out when a Potter laughs at him and he acts on impulse."
"Sometimes," Bella added, as she also glared at Snape, "I question your thought process."
"Sometimes I wonder if Snivellus even thinks."
"Shut up Sirius, that's not helping." Remus said, not taking his eyes off Snape.
Sirius rounded on Remus. "Why?!" He shouted. "Why do I have to be the one to shut up? I am sick and tired of Snivellus getting away with shit simply because he's had an 'oh so tragic life'. I'm sick of it!" He repeated. "He is NOT the only abused child here, and I'm sick of that always being an excuse for his actions! I'm tired of hearing 'well he's had a tough life', and all that bull shit! Snape is not the only one with an 'oh so tragic life'. Harry's life was hell, and one of the people who made it that way is THAT arsehole, you had to put up with ignorant prejudice simply because you're a werewolf, muggle borns have to put with pure-blood stupidity, and let's not mention Tom and the shit he put up with at the orphanage simply because he was different. Snape and, Tom for that matter if you base this off real reality, just never grew up and dealt with their issues."
"Let's just leave me out of this, because I really don't think I count." Tom interrupted with a shake of his head. "I got my revenge, though I went about getting it in the worse possible way." He added, causing Dumbledore to gasp, but the Headmaster kept quiet and continued to listen.
"But nothing Remus!" Sirius continued to shout. "So, James, Peter, you, and me all gave him hell during school. Big fucking deal! HE FOUGHT BACK! Or doesn't anyone remember all the times he tried to get us expelled and tried to curse us with DARK MAGIC when our backs were turned? I screwed up that night with the shrieking shack incident, I admit that, but he SUSPECTED what you were and HE STILL WENT! That part was NOT MY FAULT. Now he's all pissy because James saved his life and he took that anger out on Harry who was nothing but AN INNOCENT KID! Snape was eyeball deep into the dark arts, and he was never afraid of using it against us! Snivellus has done nothing with his adult life except hate on anything Potter. He takes his shit out on Harry, and I'm fucking tired of it!"
Sirius was panting from exertion, but he took a deep breath and began to gear up for more. Remus didn't try to stop him simply because he knew Sirius was hot-headed, and the man wouldn't stop until he had said what was on his mind.
"And DO NOT let me hear one person say that Snape protected Harry from Tom. THAT IS BULL SHIT! Snape didn't do that for Harry, he did it because he felt guilty for what happened in the Hog's Head, not to mention the fact that he was still perving on Lily! Snivellus could have taken Harry aside, told him what was going on and then told him that in private they could be friends, but in front of others he had to treat Harry badly because the children of Death Eaters would tattle on him to Tom. Harry would have understood that, but Snivellus didn't because he can't stand the fact that Lily choose James after Snivellus called her a mudblood! Harry was DESPERATE for anything about his parents, but Snivellus was too much of a selfish bastard to say, 'hey I knew your Mum, I can tell you all about her'! We could tell Harry all about James, but we didn't really get to know Lily until after they got together."
Sirius's voice was gruff and raspy by the time he finished that spiel, but then he suddenly grabbed a nearby goblet off the Hufflepuff table, downed the contents, and rounded on Harry, of all people.
"AND YOU!" He shouted as he pointed right at Harry, whose eyes grew wide. "The-Boy-Who-Lived, The-Chosen-One, The-Man-Who-Won, Voldemort Vanquisher, Master-of-Death, Death himself, The Grim Reaper. I don't care what your fucking name is, because to me you will ALWAYS be Harry James Potter, my godson, and right now I'm pissed at you!"
"Why!" Remus, Bella, Tom, and Harry exclaimed, causing Sirius to scoff loudly.
"Why, they ask." He muttered darkly. "Why?! Because of this bull shit!" He shouted, as his finger angrily flicked from Harry to Snape. "You call what you're doing to him 'tough love'. That's crock Harry! You want him to see that you're not James, again I call bull shit! All you want is Snivellus's approval, that's why you're doing this to him! That's why you're trying so hard to get him to see that you aren't your Dad."
"That's not true!" Harry shouted, as he scowled at Sirius.
"Oh really?" Sirius huffed. "Harry, you named your child Albus SEVERUS Potter for Merlin's sake. To this day Severus is still a traditional name in the Potter family. I know, because I spent one of my lives as Severus James Potter!"
Remus sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Please don't tell me that's why you're suddenly taking your anger out on Harry."
"No." Sirius snapped harshly. "That was a brilliant life, one of my better ones in fact. Tommy boy was my brother, Harry James Potter the Sixteenth."
"We had a lot of fun." Tom muttered.
"Remus, Snape should be the one groveling at Harry's feet while asking forgiveness, not Harry trying to seek the git's approval."
"I'm not trying to seek his approval!"
Sirius simply glared at him.
"Ok fine! So, I am! Big deal!" Harry shouted. "Why do you even care?"
"Because he treated you like shit!"
"He did what he had to do! In the end, he gave me his memories!"
"So, he could gain your trust, and so you could carry out Dumbledore's plan for your suicide mission! And don't get me started on THAT!" Sirius yelled as he glared at Albus.
"It all worked out in the end." Harry grumbled as he shifted around uncomfortably.
"For you." Tom said as he rolled his eyes.
"Not helping Tom." Bella snickered. "Even you admit that if you had won the final battle things would have been really bad. I was killed by Molly Weasley, with a cooking spell no less, but I'll never forget what she said. 'Not my daughter, you bitch!' It was brilliant. The only thing that would have been better is if Neville would have killed me, and said something like, 'For my parents, you bitch!'" She rambled, in order to try and diffuse the tension so Sirius would calm down and stop yelling.
"I still might!" Neville suddenly shouted, causing Bella to smile sadly at him.
"For what it's worth Longbottom, I'm so sorry. I know there is nothing I can do to make up for the last ten years, but I do plan to heal your parents come Christmas. Harry is going to help me give you a Christmas Miracle, and you will have your parents back. They will be healed and whole again."
"You…you will?" Neville breathed, as he stared at her in shock.
"I promise." Bella said with a smile.
"Am I to understand," Dumbledore interjected calmly, "that you all are from the future?"
"Sort of." Tom replied. "This is an alternate reality actually. Harry and I made this world because he was bored and wanted something to do. In all honesty, this is just a big prank to watch you, Severus, and everyone else run around like chickens trying to keep Harry safe and me from suddenly going on a killing spree."
"What?!" A simpering, squeaky voice suddenly cried. "I thought Harry said he has been living with The Dark Lord?"
Ron screamed, but everyone else whipped around as Peter made his presence known by suddenly shifting into his human form. Peter scrambled off the table where he had been placed, and stood by as he cowered under everyone's gaze.
The rest of the great hall seemed to be frozen in fear while all this was going on, but Dumbledore was beaming with pleasure as he continued to watch and listen.
"Hi Peter." Sirius said somewhat calmly, as he gazed at his old friend. "Welcome to alternate 1991. As Tom said, we've already lived this life once, two-thousand years ago, but since Harry is the immortal being Death, he created this world because he was bored."
"What?" Peter asked again, as he simply stared at Sirius in confusion.
"Here, let me." Harry said, as he gently touched Peter's forehead.
Everyone watched as Peter squeaked then began to sway. Just like with the others, he suddenly shifted to a younger appearance, where he looked healthy and not at all like the rat like man he had become.
"Woah." Peter said, as he stared around at everyone, but then he cringed. "You guys aren't mad at me anymore?"
"Peter, it was two-thousand years ago." Remus said, as he clapped him on the back. "Trust me, we're over it."
"But Sirius is still mad at Snivellus, and what about James and Lily? Are they around somewhere, and are they still mad at me?" Peter asked nervously.
"It's fine Peter." Harry laughed. "Dad's over it, Mum's over it. Trust me, no one is mad at you anymore."
"And what about you, M-My L-Lord?" He asked, with a slight cringe.
"It's Tom, Peter." Tom said with a chuckle. "Yes, I'm still Voldemort, but because I have my memories, I just don't have the drive to act like Voldemort. In truth, he doesn't really exist. We are just pretending because it's funny to watch people act the way they do because I'm here…at Hogwarts…teaching young impressionable minds." He added with a grin.
"Then why did you send me confirmation of what Harry said through my dark mark? That bloody hurt, you bastard!" Peter cried, causing everyone to laugh.
Tom recovered enough to sputter, "I have to keep up the Voldemort persona somehow, so it's the little things."
"He still has a slight sadistic streak." Harry added.
"Can you please take this off of me then? I don't want it anymore." Peter said, as he rolled up his left sleeve.
"All right, come here." Tom said with a laugh, as he motioned Peter over.
Peter quickly scrambled over to him, but Dumbledore was staring at everyone as if he was finally starting to understand what was happening.
"Finite Incantatem." Tom hissed in Parseltongue.
"Fascinating." Dumbledore breathed, as he watched the dark mark slowly disappear. "Why do I have a feeling I've known this before though?"
"Because Harry obliviated you yesterday when Flint tried to curse Hermione, but hit Draco instead." Bella replied with a shrug.
"And I have a feeling this isn't going to be the last time I preform a mass obliviation." Harry laughed.
"Yeah, we seem incapable of keeping this a secret." Sirius snorted, but then he sighed heavily. "Though my rant didn't help, and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you Harry. If you want to seek Snape's approval, it's not my business. You're a grown man who's also an immortal being with all the magical powers of the universe at your beck and call. Thank you for not striking me dead."
"It's fine Sirius." Harry chuckled as he shook his head. "You're a hot-headed idiot and your mouth always engages before your brain does."
Sirius simply laughed. "Just hurry and bring James back to life. I really miss him."
"Are you really bringing James back?" A much happier Peter asked as he looked at Harry with a grin. "That would be bloody brilliant!"
"I am, but…"
"…we have to figure out some things first." Tom cut in. "Like where has James been for the last ten years, because we are saying I simply stunned him instead of killed him."
"Yeah, that and Mum killed herself." Harry laughed. "I've already fashioned Tom a fake memory as to what happened in Godric's Hollow that night, but I have an idea to explain Dad's absence. I'll tell you guys about it later though."
"But you're not bringing Lily back to life?" Peter asked.
"No. At the moment Mum is a little ten-year-old muggle girl living in Spain. While I COULD easily whip up a magical core to give to her, it would cause her a tremendous amount of pain to install and I honestly don't want to put her through that."
"Wait," Peter said quickly. "I've never understood that, and it is part of the reason I always ask to become another wizard. If Lily is a muggle, wouldn't she have to be sorted like one?" He asked in confusion.
"No, not at all." Harry said with a shake of his head. "Mum, and others like her who choose to become muggles in their next lives, still have a magical soul. When you go from muggle to wizard, I just simply install a magical core back into your body as you walk through the sorting room's door. You don't feel it because you aren't really alive yet. That's were muggle borns come from. A magical soul who chooses to become a muggle still passes a small bit of magic on to their children, and it just grows in each generation until a muggle born is born. Squibs come from people simply wanting to be born a muggle, but who still wish to know about the magical world. It's odd I know, but you'd be surprised at what kind of life someone requests."
"I didn't know that." Peter said in awe. "And James…?"
"Dad is a ten-year-old wizard living here in the UK. He will actually be at Hogwarts come my third year. However, because I am Death and have the ability and knowledge to safely play around with necromancy, I plan to have a dementor suck out his soul, dig up his corpse, and stuff his soul back into his old body, once I have reversed the decomposition."
"But he's a skeleton!" Bella gasped, causing Harry to shake his head.
"Not really. Dad's magic has somewhat preserved his body. Muggles, even with embalming, decompose rapidly, but magic keeps witches and wizards preserved for a lot longer. Even though it's been ten years, due to the magic, Dad is still a bit juicy to be honest."
"Can we please not talk about 'juicy' dead corpses? I did just eat breakfast." Peter said, as he slightly turned green at the thought.
"It's fascinating though." Tom said thoughtfully. "I mean, witches and wizards don't make a habit of digging up other witches and wizards who have died in order to study the effects of decomposition. It's a study worth looking into honestly."
Harry started laughing. "You only say that because you spent one of your lives as a forensic anthropologist and studied at the University of Tennessee in Knoxville. You had way too much fun at the Body Farm."
Tom simply grinned. "Go Vols!" He cried, causing Remus to blow a raspberry at him.
"Ok, that's it! Let's go werewolf!" Tom shouted, as he threw down his napkin. "You do realize we can't be friends anymore, right?"
"No, no, no!" Bella shouted, as she waved her arms franticly. "I refuse to stand around listening to British grown men natter on about what Americans consider 'football'."
"Woman, you just need to go stand over there." Tom said, as he pointed to an out of the way corner of the room. "The men are talking."
"Ok," Sirius said as he jumped up and ran to hide behind Harry, while Bella glared darkly at Tom. "I'm moving before a duel breaks out."
"So, you hide behind your Godson?" Remus asked with a laugh, causing Sirius to shrug.
"He's Death and can't die." Sirius simply replied, causing Harry to snort as Bella huffed loudly.
"How did Lily do it!?" She cried. "How did Lily put up with four grown children? Two of you went from screaming at each other to suddenly alright in a span of three minutes. Then you all start talking about American football! I'm going to lose my mind with all of this nonsense!"
"Well, it's sort of a man thing. Trust me Bella, screaming at each other on minute, to smiles the next is nothing new." Peter said, "As far as Lily putting up with us though, if you simply replace Tom with James, it's pretty much the same, but when Harry brings James back, it's only going to get worse."
"That…that…really didn't help Peter." Sirius laughed, as Bella moaned loudly.
"I'm just trying to be honest." Peter replied with a shrug. "Forewarned and all that rot…"
This only caused Bella to moan even louder. "Lily, Lily, I really need your help! Pleeeeease!"
Dumbledore suddenly burst out laughing. "My dear girl, I'm sure if Lily were here she would gladly help you out, but something tells me you are strong enough to keep five grown children in line just fine. Six if you count Harry."
"Albus!" McGonagall cried, "How can you be ok with this?"
Dumbledore turned to with a twinkle in his eye. "Because I know that none of us are in danger. I think I'm really going to enjoy seeing how this plays out, even though I know I'm going to be obliviated again. Harry is not going to let anything terrible happen, and if someone dies, he will just bring them back to life. Don't you see Minerva, it's a prank, and a lovely one at that!" He cried happily.
"Not all of us find it as amusing as you, and for the record, I'm not going to grovel at Potter's feet for any sins I may have committed two-thousand years ago. I don't care if he's Death or not, and he will never get my approval." Snape drawled, bringing his existence back to the attention of everyone else.
Sirius jumped up and started for Snape, but Remus nailed him with a body-bind.
"You say that now simply because you don't remember the first time. I'm only acting how you thought I acted the first time around." Harry said with a glare, as he ignored Remus and Sirius. "With any luck, I can get you to see that I am NOT my Dad."
Snape simply glared at him. "Which one?" He sneered.
"James of course." Tom said with a shrug. "That bit about him being my son is all tosh and nonsense."
"I knew it!" Snape cried. "I told you it was a prank Headmaster!"
Dumbledore sighed heavily. "So, you did Severus. This simply proves what I have said for years, even I can be wrong sometimes. However," he added brightly, "since this has happened before, I'm sure you all know about the prophecy, so I can officially say that I'm glad the prophecy is not in play. With Harry being Death, and Tom not…"
Suddenly Trelawney, who had decided to grace the population of Hogwarts with her presence that morning, sucked in a deep long breath and slowly rose to her feet.
"The giant Mouse shall give rise to the Evil One. Pure-bloods shall tremble, while half-bloods and Muggle-borns all laugh at the entertainment. A Dark Presence has entered the world, and he shall give her his aid. Queen she shall become, as Death tries to destroy her and restore order. The Queen is coming…the Evil Queen is coming…beware of the red apples!" She cried, then simply sat back down as if nothing happened. "Can you pass the tea Pomona? I'm suddenly feeling parched." Trelawney said, as Sprout stared at her in horror.
Harry glared at Dumbledore. "You just HAD to mention the P-word, didn't you?"
Dumbledore simply grinned. "Well, seeing as I won't remember this, I shall just say, good luck Harry. I'm sure you'll be successful in defeating this new evil. Tom, I hope you will help him and not fall back into old habits and join her." He added, causing Tom to roll his eyes.
"The 'giant mouse'? What the hell does that mean?" Sirius, who had broken free of Remus's body-bind, suddenly asked as he eyed Peter suspiciously.
"Hey, don't look at me!" Peter cried. "It's not my fault this time! I'm a rat, not a mouse. There IS a difference there."
"Wait a minute," Bella said as she stared at the ceiling. "Giant Mouse, entertainment, Evil Queen, and red apples. That all seems very familiar…holy crap!" She cried, then promptly burst out laughing.
"Bella, your lack of helpful insight is grating on my nerves." Tom said as he gave her the 'Voldemort' glare.
She simply giggled. "It's Disney you morons!"
"What!?" Harry, Remus, Tom, Peter, and Sirius cried.
"Mickey Mouse is a giant mouse!" Hermione suddenly cried, then gasped and quickly covered her mouth as everyone turned to look at her.
"Muggle-borns will laugh at the entertainment…" Remus said as he started to laugh. "I get it now."
"I swear we're in a crackfic!" Sirius shouted, causing everyone to stop and stare at him.
"What the hell is a crackfic?" Several people asked in unison.
"It's…it's a fanfiction thing." He replied.
Tom looked at him in confusion. "So, we're back to the Harry Potter fanfiction thing again?"
"Never mind that." Harry said impatiently. "We need to figure out what in the hell is going on. I do not like the fact that I am ONCE AGAIN part of a stupid proph…"
"Don't say the P-word!" Sirius yelped.
"Riiight…" Harry muttered. "Anyway, I don't like it, but at least I have some type of warning this time." He added with a sigh.
"I just think you need to go ahead and obliviate everyone so that we can figure this out privately." Tom said.
"You're right." Harry replied with a nod. "Ok everyone, gather together. This won't take but a second…"
As Harry's mass obliviation spell rolled over the great hall, which took everyone's memories back to the point just after Bella's howler, a 'Dark Presence' sat up in the rafters and grinned down at them.
"Hmm, so it didn't take them long to put the prophecy together, but they still don't know everything." It chuckled. "Now all I have to do is find a suitable candidate for my 'Evil Queen', but who shall it be?" It muttered as it stared into the crowd below.
Then it spotted Bella.
"Ah yes. Someone Bella mentioned. Lily…sweet little Lily…" Then the Dark Presence cackled with glee as it rubbed its hands together. "Potter, you may not want to put your mother through so much pain by shoving a magical core into her current muggle body, but I know she's tougher than you think. Once I have explained everything to her, I know she will want to play along. After all, I've known her longer than you have."
After once more cackling with glee, the Dark Presence simply disappeared in a wispy puff of black smoke.
Later that night, as darkness reigned over the Spanish coast, the Dark Presence glided easily through the streets. Once it came upon its final destination, it ghosted into the house, passed the muggles in the living room, up the stairs, and came to rest outside of a cheerful pink bedroom door. After it slipped inside the room, it cast wards to keep others away, then turned and grinned at the sleeping little girl wrapped up in a purple blanket.
"Isabel, Isabel. Wake up my sweet girl." It whispered in a kind, gentle voice. "Wake up Isabel."
"Sí?" Came the sleepy reply.
"Sí…I mean…yes." Said the tiny voice, as the girl sat up and rubbed her eyes sleepily. "Who…who are you sir?" She asked, as she spied the strange shadowy man sitting in the chair beside her bed. "Are you Ratoncito Pérez?"
"No." The Dark Presence replied with a chuckle. "I'm not a little mouse, sweet girl. He has already been here and taken your tooth."
"Oh!" She cried, and dove under her pillow. She brought out three shiny coins and held them up in the moonlight.
"Very well done." The Dark Presence said with a proud smile.
"Who are you then?" She asked, looking at him curiously. "I don't know you. Are you here to hurt me?" She asked, suddenly becoming very frightened as she slid to the far side of her bed.
"No not at all." He answered reassuringly. "But I was wondering if I may touch your forehead. I promise who I am will be realized in short order once I do."
"Touch my forehead?" She asked in confusion. "That's all?"
"Ok then." She replied with a small whimper. "If you hurt me though, I will scream for my Papá."
"And I will take your warning very seriously Miss Isabel." He said with a small smile.
She seemed to relax a little when he said her name, but tensed again as he leaned towards her.
"Boop." He giggled as he touched her forehead, causing her to giggle back.
Then things changed abruptly.
Her body, nor her face changed, but her eyes widened as her memories came flooding back. Then she really began staring at the man sitting in front of her, and finally gasped.
"You! How am I Isabel again? It's impossible…Harry is...has something happened? Where's my son?" She asked in a rush, as her childlike voice turned hard and cold with the last question.
"Hello Lily." The Dark Presence said with a smirk. "Harry is perfectly fine, but perhaps I should start at the beginning and get you up to speed."
An hour later, Lily sat back and laughed for all she was worth.
"So, are you in?" The Dark Presence asked with a chuckle.
"Oh, a chance to prank the pranksters, including James when Harry brings him back? Yeah, I'm in."
"I thought you would be. You do realize though, that death and destruction are part of the game, right?"
"Yeah, I know," Lily said with a sigh, "but seeing as Harry can bring them back makes that a moot point really, so I won't feel too guilty. I did follow Neville when he became a Dark Lord, so I think I can tap into that somewhat. This isn't going to hurt my mind, body, or soul though, is it?"
The Dark Presence laughed. "No, it won't. Lily you know me, when have I ever steered anyone wrong, or lied? I selected you because I know you won't become a real honest to goodness sadistic psychopath."
"I suppose you're right." She chuckled. "I just can't believe you've become what you've become though. It seems…odd." She said, as she eyed his shadowy outline. "You have a solid form, but it's not really solid. Again, it's just…odd." She said as she poked him with her finger, causing the Dark Presence to laugh.
"Well, it's a happy side effect due to this alternate reality. I had no idea this could be done though, seeing as I have never been in this situation before. Harry doesn't know I'm here yet, and he won't until I reveal myself to him. I can hide your identity from him easily, since I have some of the same powers he does, though I don't have them all so I'll have to stay on my toes."
"I'll need a theme." She said thoughtfully.
"Oh Lily, the Evil Queen is your theme." The Dark Presence insisted. "Imagine how funny it will be to have all those pure-bloods trembling in fear at you. I mean come on, a muggle-born witch using a Disney character, of all things, to strike fear into their hearts?"
Lily burst out laughing. "Yeah I can see that. I always did like Ursula from The Little Mermaid better, but I think I can work in that bit a villainy somewhere. What about Harry and the others though? It won't take them long to realize what's going on. Hell, they've already put that ridiculous prophecy together."
"I know that, but they don't know who it will be." The Dark Presence laughed. "They will simply think it's a random muggle born who went dark. They may even get a kick out of it, seeing as everything you do will clearly be 'muggle-ish'. Imagine the look on their faces when they finally realize it's you."
"And the muggle borns won't be afraid because they will get all the references."
"Exactly!" The Dark Presence exclaimed. "Switch it up on them. Instead of Voldemort, we have…"
"The Evil Queen." Lily finished with a smirk. "Ok, I'm truly convinced now. Will you help me though?"
"I will. What you can't do with regular magic, I'll supply with my own."
"All right." She said with a smile, but then her eyes shifted to her bedroom door and she frowned a bit, as the sounds of laughter could be heard from the living room. "Will you make it easy on them?" She asked quietly, with a nod in that direction. "They are good people, good parents."
"Isabel will die in her sleep," he said softly, "but I will help them through their grief. I'll also need to make it so that Harry can still detect you as Isabel, just in case someone gets suspicious."
"Thank you, Odee." Lily said, as she reached out and grasped his shadowy hand to squeeze it. "Just help my current parents. That's all I ask, because this will devastate them."
"I will Lily, you have my word, but is Odee my name then?" He chuckled.
"Do you have a better one?" She grinned.
"Nope, I guess not, but go ahead and lie back down. Giving you a magical core will hurt a lot, but I can fashion an adult body for you once the process is complete. I'll also supply a golem for the body of Isabel. The muggles won't know the difference."
"Ok." Lily said, as she took a deep breath and laid back down. "I'm ready when you are."
Meanwhile, back at Hogwarts, Harry had finally been able to escape Fred and George, who had been hounding him all day trying to figure out how he had pranked Snape. He finally feigned tiredness, and ran up to his room and drew his curtains around his bed.
Then he promptly puffed to Tom's quarters.
"This can't be happening, this can't be happening, this can't be happening!" He cried as he flopped down on Tom's bed and buried his head under a pillow.
Tom, who was lounging on the couch, looked up from the book he was reading and quirked an eyebrow at him. "Get out of my bed Potter, you're wrinkling my sheets and getting drool all over my pillow. Now, suck it up. You knew this was likely to happen, seeing as I am not a true threat."
"Yes, but I didn't expect this!" He cried, as he sat up with a huff. "Dark Lords I can handle, but this will be a girl! How can I look a girl in the eye and destroy her?!"
"Oh, stop being childish." Tom replied as he rolled his eyes.
"You have to admit that this whole thing is kind of funny, but I'm bored. I think we need to get a real telly. We can hook it up…what?" Peter asked, when he caught sight of Harry glaring at him.
Bella laughed as she flopped down beside Harry on Tom's bed. "I'm with Peter on both accounts. We need a real telly, and I also think the whole thing is funny. Obviously, a muggle born has gone dark, and she is going to use a Disney villain to get her revenge on some pure-bloods. Can you guys honestly not see the humor in that?"
"I still say we're in a crackfic." Sirius mumbled, as he bit into a left-over Egg McMuffin Harry had gotten from the nearest McDonalds that morning.
"Will you stop saying that." Remus said with a shake of his head. "I can sort of see the humor in it, but will it really be funny when she goes on a killing spree?"
"I agree with Remus." Harry said with a nod.
"Well Potter, you did say that as we move through this alternate reality that the universe itself will make up the difference in some aspects. Because I'm not a threat, this is just a consequence and we simply have to deal with it." Tom said with a shrug. "But if it makes you feel better, I'll do the dirty deed of killing her if I get the chance."
"Now hold on." Sirius said with a mouthful of food. "We shouldn't automatically jump to killing people. We should just carry on like we have been doing, and if/when this Evil Queen and Dark Presence show themselves, or if we start hearing of any Voldemort-like shenanigans, then I say we get involved."
"You do have a point Sirius." Remus said with a thoughtful sigh. "Halloween is a few days away and if tradition holds true we will find out more then."
Harry groaned loudly and once again buried his head in the pillow. "With my bloody luck, we will. I hate Halloween."
"I'm sorry." Peter mumbled quietly.
"Peter, if you apologize one more time, I will hex you. We're over it." Sirius said.
"I'm sorr…err ok." Peter said, when Sirius glared at him.
"So that's it then?" Bella asked. "We wait?"
"We wait." Tom said with a nod.
"Fine, we wait." Harry sighed, just before Tom nailed him and Bella with a stinging jinx.
"Both of you get out of my bed!"
"Halloween is a few days away and if tradition holds true we will find out more then."
Remus's words kept echoing in Harry's head for the last few days, and now that it was Friday, Halloween, Harry was on pins and needles as he waited for the proverbial shoe to drop. Due to the Halloween festivities that night, Harry's Bingo Friday was on hold, so their whole plan for the father/son/yew rune tattoo stupidity was shuffled aside, but at the moment, that was the farthest thing from their minds.
Draco, who had been released from the hospital wing that morning, had been following Harry at a distance all day. It seemed like the Slytherin turned Gryffindor was determined to figure out what was going on, but Harry wasn't in the mood to mess with Draco's head, so he basically ignored the boy.
Ron, Hermione, and Neville seemed to be keeping him at arm's length today, and Harry didn't really understand why until he overheard them whispering in class. According to Ron and Neville, he was being a bit 'moody' and 'uneasy', but Hermione reminded them what day it was and what happened to his parents. This had caused Neville and Ron to gasp, but after that, the three of them closed ranks around Harry, while at the same time, letting him have his space.
Harry was truly thankful for them, especially since he had a feeling that something was majorly off and had literally been 'scanning the world' all day in an effort to figure out what the problem was. Unfortunately, though, there was nothing to be found. Everything 'felt' normal, but at the same time, it didn't. This left him confused and anxious all day.
The 'off' feeling grew worse as the evening Halloween feast drew near, and by the time they were sitting in the great hall, waiting to eat, Harry was nearly beside himself with concern.
"What's the matter with you Potter?" Draco asked casually, causing Hermione, Ron, and Neville to frown at him.
"It happens to be the day when your Death Eater Daddy's Master killed his parents." Ron hissed, causing Hermione to smack him.
"That could have been put a little better Ron." She huffed, but Harry just shook his head.
"It's alright guys, don't worry about it." He replied, before turning his attention to Draco. "I don't know." He added seriously. "But something doesn't feel right. I want all of you to promise me that if anything happens, you will keep your heads down."
"We will Harry." Hermione said softly, while looking at him curiously.
"Malfoy? Promise me." Harry said, giving him a pointed look.
Draco somewhat stared at Harry for a moment, before nodding grimly. "Ok Potter." He said, though he looked curious as to what the trouble could be. "Do you know something?"
"No." Harry replied with a sigh and a worried shake of his head. "And that is what worries me. Things don't feel right, and trust me when I say, that is a really bad thing." He added, causing the four kids to stare at him.
It was at that point when Dumbledore stood up from the head table and gave a speech, before motioning for the feast to begin. Harry glanced around the room, before closing his eyes and 'feeling' the castle. Everyone was there in the great hall. No one was hiding in a bathroom crying, nor was anyone trying to skip the feast. All the Professors and staff were in attendance, all the elves were in the kitchen, there were no late stragglers roaming around the castle or grounds, nor were there any strangers. Even the animals in the Forbidden Forest were hunkered down for the night.
He still couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong though.
"Something's not right." He whispered, but it was more to himself than to anyone else.
However, it caused Hermione, Neville, Ron, and Draco look up from their plates.
"Harry, you haven't even put anything on your plate mate." Neville said with a concerned frown, just as Harry gasped loudly.
He could feel it now. Something was coming, but he couldn't 'see' it. Whatever it was though, it was big, and that did not set well with Death. Anything that could hide from him was not natural.
He suddenly stood from his seat, and narrowed his eyes a bit as he stared out over the great hall towards the Slytherin table. Whatever was coming it was coming from that direction, which just happened to be where the front gates were.
His wand slipped into his hand, just as he stood up on the bench he had just been sitting on. Then, with a smooth motion, he stepped up onto the table, all the while keeping his eyes trained on the other side of the room.
"POTTER!" Snape bellowed. "Get off that table this instant! Twenty points…"
Harry's wand suddenly morphed into his scythe. "Silence!" He shouted, as he brought the end of his scythe down on the table. Unfortunately, it didn't deliver the satisfying 'thunk' it normally did. Instead, it gave off a muffled 'thud' due to landing in a bowl of green peas.
Tom, who was staring at him with wide eyes, stood up from his seat at the head table. Harry briefly glanced at him, before turning his attention back to the far side of the room.
"You, Bella, Remus, Sirius, and Peter haven't been silenced. So, with that said, Tom, you didn't by chance let a troll in for old times' sake, did you?" He asked, causing Tom to slowly shake his head no.
"Harry, what's going on?" Sirius asked nervously, as he took off his invisibility cloak.
"Something's wrong. I don't know what it is, but there is something coming and it's big. I can't see it because it's hidden from me." He replied gravely, as he narrowed his eyes in the direction of the front gates to the school.
"What in the world can hide from you, Potter?" Tom asked, as his wand slipped into his hands.
"More importantly, what can hide from Death?" Remus asked.
"I don't know, but I don't like it." Harry said, just as Sirius made a nervous squeaky noise.
"Harry, we have a scene straight out of Jurassic Park going on here. Look at the goblets." Sirius said, causing Harry to glance at his goblet of pumpkin juice, which was jumping slightly from vibrations.
"Well, whatever is coming, I don't think it's a tyrannosaurus rex." Tom replied nervously.
"Me either." Harry echoed, but then his voice turned into one of authority as he glanced around the room. "All right, Bella, get the Slytherins away from that wall. I want everyone on this side of the room. I want the first years with their backs to the wall. I want the second years in front of them, then the third years and so on. Professors, I want you all out front, while Sirius, Remus, Bella, and Peter take up positions in front of you. Tom, you're with me in front of them. No killing curses guys. I want to know who and/or what is controlling this thing, and I can't do that if you kill it."
"Shouldn't we send the students out of here?" Peter asked anxiously, causing Harry to shake his head.
"No. I can't protect everyone if they are running around the castle. Stay in here, and stay together. GET THEM UP BELLA!" He shouted, causing Bella to instantly brandish her wand at the Slytherins.
"You heard him! Get moving before I start torturing the lot of you!" She shouted, causing the Slytherins to jump up in fear.
There was an eerie silence to the chaos as everyone in the great hall jumped into action. Clearly panicked students were screaming, but no sound was heard due to Harry's silencing charm. The Professors were confused and angry, none more so than Snape, but Dumbledore, who Harry unsilenced, immediately took charge of the students and began getting them organized.
"Harry, please tell me…" He began, but Harry shook his head.
"I'm sorry sir, but I can't. I don't know myself. Please just trust me." He said. "And sir, forgive me." He added, then he snapped his fingers.
The elder wand flew from the Headmaster's grip into Harry's hand, but a moment later, Harry reached into thin air and pulled Dumbledore's old wand out of it.
"I would never leave you defenseless Professor, but I need my wand." He said, to the shock of everyone who saw it.
Harry handed Dumbledore the old wand, but a second later, he swung his scythe in a wide arc which caused a slivery white shield to snap into place. It went from floor to ceiling and wall to wall in front of the students and professors. Then, using the elder wand, Harry drew the infamous symbol of the Hallows, but instead of a simple line through the middle, he put the elder wand in its place, causing the shield to solidify and the wand to glow an ominous green.
Dumbledore stared at it shock, but then turned his eyes to Harry knowingly.
"It'll let spells out, but not in. Keep everyone behind this shield, and you'll be safe." Harry ordered, causing Dumbledore to nod grimly.
Just then, the wall Harry had been eyeing earlier suddenly exploded with such force that it sent bits of rubble flying in all directions into the great hall. Part of the ceiling collapsed, but nothing made it past that shield.
"IT'S A FUCKING GIANT!" Sirius bellowed, just as the giant's head appeared in the large hole it had made in the wall.
"REMUS, NOOO!" Bella and Peter screamed, when they saw him get crushed by a large piece of the ceiling.
"Remus!" Sirius echoed a second later. "Harry! Remus is…"
"ALL OF YOU, GET BEHIND THE SHIELD!" Harry roared, as he banished huge pieces of rubble back towards the giant, which began to crawl through the hole it made.
"But Remus is dead!" Sirius cried hysterically.
Tom suddenly grabbed him and bodily shoved him through the shield, just before more of the ceiling came down.
"Get ahold of yourself Black!" Tom shouted, as he sent spells and rubble at the giant. "Do you honestly think Potter will let him stay that way!?"
The wild-eyed man sort of stared at Tom for a moment, before nodding firmly. Sirius began sending his own spells at the giant, as more of the room fell apart around them.
"Let me kill it Harry! I have a shot!" Peter cried frantically, as his wand flashed with all manner of charms, curses, and hexes.
But it was futile. Nothing any of them did penetrated the giant's thick hide. The students were cowering in fear, though a few brave seventh years joined the Professors in casting all manner of spells at it.
"NO! I want it alive!" Harry yelled back, just as a large piece of wall, which the giant had thrown, slammed into his side, causing him to go careening into the back wall behind the head table.
"HARRY!" Several people yelled in dismay, causing everyone else to stare in his direction in horror.
But their jaws dropped a second later as Harry picked it up and heaved the large piece of rubble off of his chest and tossed it back at the giant, causing it to stumble backwards and fall on its bum against the doors of the great hall.
"Ok, now I'm pissed off!" Harry shouted angrily, as silence reigned throughout the destroyed, debris covered room.
"Remus is laying over there dead, and you're JUST NOW pissed off!" Peter cried.
Harry sent him a nasty glare, before turning his attention back to the giant.
"Is it dead?" Sirius asked, causing Harry to shake his head.
"No, just knocked out." He replied.
That made him huff in annoyance and he immediately scowled. However, it caused the giant to suddenly start chuckling. Everyone tensed up, but narrowed their eyes at the uncharacteristic behavior.
A second later, the giant shifted its position, leaned up against the wall, and grinned at Harry.
"Funny how a bit a déjà vu can feel, isn't that right Harry?" It asked in an unnatural deep, hollow voice that sent shivers up everyone's spine. "I guess the universe had to make up for the troll somehow, so here I am." He said with an amused smile, as he lounged comfortably in front of the doors.
"Who are you?" Harry demanded, as he brought his scythe up in front of his chest. "As Death, I demand an answer!" He shouted. "Why are you possessing an innocent creature? Who are you?!"
The giant simply chuckled again. "Possession? Do I look like I'm wearing a purple turban to you?" He asked casually. "Oh Harry, I'm so disappointed that you don't recognize me." He mock pouted.
"I do believe Death asked you a question." Tom said darkly, as he came over to stand next to Harry.
This only caused the giant's grin to broaden even more.
"Well, well, well, if it isn't the Dark Lord Voldemort." He asked with a chuckle. "Who would have thought!? Voldemort and The-Boy-Who-Lived standing side by side trying to demand information out of little ol' me!" He cried with a hearty laugh. "Oh, I think Sirius is right when he says we're in a crackfic."
"You're the only one who finds it funny." Harry said through gritted teeth.
"No, there is another. After all, my Evil Queen thinks it's hysterical that the one whose name means 'flight from death' hides behind Death's robes like a scared child." The giant said with a sadistic grin.
"No!" Harry yelled, as he stretched out his hand.
The killing curse immediately changed directions and flew back towards Harry, who caught it mid-flight and crushed it in his grip.
"Now that is impressive." The giant said with a delighted grin. "Oh Harry, you've come so far in the last two-thousand years! I am so proud!"
"I will only ask you once more." Harry said with a deathly glare. "Who are you? If you don't answer, I will personally end your existence." He added, causing Tom and the others to glance at him nervously.
The giant stared at him for a moment, before sighing petulantly.
"Oh, very well. I must admit that I don't rightly know what would happen if you killed me, but it's best not to chance it. My name is…Odee."
"Odee?" Peter scoffed. "Never heard of you."
"But you have Wormtail!" Odee said brightly. "You just don't recognize me."
"If you're trying to say your James, it's not funny." Sirius said with a scowl.
"Now Padfoot, what would give you that idea?"
"He's not Dad." Harry quickly said. "Dad is fine, I just checked."
"Of course you did." Odee said with a chuckle. "Fine, spoil my fun then." He added with a sigh, before he shifted into his normal shadowy form and stood up.
Tom, Peter, Bella, and Sirius gasped loudly and backed up a few steps, but Harry suddenly started to chuckle.
"Ta-da!" Odee cried brightly, but then his face fell. "No applause? I'm hurt."
"Odee?" Harry said with a slight smirk. "O.D. is more like it."
"The Original Death!" Sirius cried. "Merlin Harry, what's he doing here?"
"The 'Dark Presence'!" Peter gasped, causing Odee to grin at him.
"And people say you are a dim-witted fool Peter. That right there proves you're not."
"So, you're behind everything? The stupid prophecy, this Evil Queen Disney business?" Harry laughed, as he relaxed his grip on the scythe. "Do you want your job back or something?"
Odee burst out laughing. "Heavens no Harry. That's rightfully yours. After all I do believe the exact words of my earlier departure were…"
He trailed off as he pulled a small sheaf of paper out of his pocket.
"Oh yes, here it is in the very first chapter…'When he died, Harry was met by the very ecstatic black robed, skeletal figure we have all come to know as Death. Death, who was dancing around like a child on a sugar high, greeted Harry enthusiastically, handed over his scythe, told Harry about his new 'job', and whistled a tune as he left through the door on the right front side of the room. Harry, who could only watch the immortal being go about his merry way in confusion, stood there wondering what in the hell was happening, but it wasn't long until he figured out what he had to do.'" Odee read, before placing the sheaf of papers back into his pocket.
Harry leaned on the scythe and laughed. "So, for your final sorting, you sorted yourself via the door reserved for witches and wizards. That's why you're here. In original 1991, you were Death, but when Tom and I created this barmy arse world, you needed a place to go. Oh, you're clever."
"I'm magical Harry, and I'll always be an immortal." Odee said, giving Harry a fond smile. "So, will you, should you ever choose to pass the torch."
"I like being Death." Harry said with a grin. "After all, I've got all the cosmic power in the world at my beck and call."
"With an itty, bitty, living space." Bella said with a snort, causing Odee to grin at her.
"Bella, an Aladdin reference? My Evil Queen would be so proud." He said with a laugh.
"Let's just hope Disney doesn't sue us." Sirius said with a roll of his eyes.
"Am I going to have to kill her?" Harry asked with a worried glance.
"No, but she's wanting to have some fun." Odee said with a dismissive wave. "This world needed a conflict. There's no point to our story if there isn't one. What better way is there, than to have a Disney villain running around terrifying all the bigoted pure-bloods who deserve it? This is, after all, an alternate reality." He said with a grin.
Harry's lips twisted with amusement. "Who is she?"
"That I won't tell you." Odee said with a mischievous grin. "There is no fun in that. I will say, however, that she knows fully well who you are and she knows, and supports, you in bringing back to life anyone who dies. She feels that gives her the chance to do what she wants and frees her conscience. She doesn't want anyone to die permanently, but she does want to get a little payback."
"So, she is a muggle born then." Tom said, causing Odee to nod.
"Yes, she is."
"If she is a muggle born, then we don't have to worry about her going after muggles, right?" Tom asked, causing Odee to cock his head to the side.
"Why do you ask that Tom? Do you have a certain muggle you are looking to protect?"
Tom glanced at Harry, before turning his attention to Odee.
"Just tell her to stay out of Spain, please."
"Spain?" Odee asked with an amused grin. "Who is in Spain that could be in danger from an Evil Queen here in the UK?"
"Lily." Tom replied with a shaky breath.
"Ohhh, she's little Isabel at the moment, if I recall correctly." He said, causing Harry and Tom to nod. "Why keep her safe?"
Tom glanced at Harry again, but Harry nodded encouragingly.
"You need to tell him, just so he is aware." Harry said, causing Tom to take a deep breath.
"Two lives ago, a Dark Lord arose in Iceland where we were living at the time. Lily was my daughter, Elísabet. Her mother had passed away when she was two, so it was just she and I. We were both magical and I was a high priority target for him, due to my job. When he came to my house, Elísabet and I were just sitting down to lunch. He burst through the door and caught us in the kitchen. I tried to defend us, but my last memories of that life were of Elísabet screaming as I shielded her with my own body. When I got to the waiting room, I sat down and cried, while waiting to be sorted. Elísabet showed up not long after I did. She was six at the time."
Odee stared at him for a moment, before glancing at Harry, who looked grim.
"Since it's still fresh in his mind and wasn't that long ago, the similarities between what he did to me and what that Dark Lord did to him are hard for him to cope with, and the fact that both involved Mum doesn't help. I kept them in the Void for the maximum twenty-four hours as Mum tried to comfort him. All Tom did was cry and apologize over and over again."
"I see." Odee said softly. "Well, you have my word that Spain is not on the agenda for my Evil Queen, so Lily will be fine. My Evil Queen's focus is the UK and nothing more. She just wants to give a little payback to the bigoted purebloods."
"I can deal with that." Tom said, as he sat down heavily on a large piece of broken stone, and stared at his shaking hands.
Odee smiled once again, before going over to Tom and placing a shadowy hand on his shoulder.
"I've known Lily for many, many years Tom." He whispered, as he crouched down beside him. "She's and old soul, one of the first witches to ever grace the face of the earth actually. She does not hold anything against you. Trust me on that."
"Alright." Tom replied, as he stood up on shaky legs.
"Good." Odee said with a smile. "Now, I must be going. It has been a rather exciting night." He added happily, causing Harry to chuckle as the others rolled their eyes at him.
"Remus won't think so." Sirius said, as he glanced at Remus's remains and cringed.
"Eh, if I know Harry, he'll be fine." Odee laughed. "And with that, I'm off!"
They watched as Odee snapped his fingers, causing the room to repair itself, before disappearing in a wispy puff of black smoke, which made Bella gasp loudly.
"Love, does he have all the same powers you have?" She asked with wide eyes.
Harry shook his head. "No, but I expect that he has most of them. Just what they are exactly, I can't tell you."
"We better find out quick." Sirius muttered, as he levitated the debris off of Remus. "Can we please fix him now?"
"Of course." Harry chuckled, and set out to do just that.
"Let's just hope Remus doesn't become a replacement for Kenny from South Park." Peter said with a sigh.
"Damn it Peter!" Sirius yelled. "STOP GIVING THE AUTHOR BAD IDEAS!"
"Oh crap! I'm so sorry!" Peter replied in horror, just as Sirius nailed him with a stinging jinx.
"And what did I say about apologizing!?" He cried, causing Peter yelp loudly.
Tom, Harry, and Bella just laughed.
In a small heavily warded house in the middle of the Forest of Dean, Lily sighed heavily as she slumped down in a nearby ornate chair.
"He's still not over that?" She asked, as she looked up at Odee, who was standing in the doorway of the large magically expanded library.
"No." Odee said sadly.
"This changes some things then. I don't want to hurt Tom."
"Nor do I." Odee replied.
"Then I won't put a parent in that situation." Lily said with a firm nod. "I don't care if it's Narcissa Malfoy trying to keep little Draco from dying. I simply won't do it. It's not right."
"I agree." Odee nodded.
"Then we won't cross that line. Everything else though, is fair game." Lily said with a smile, as she stood up and paced the room. "While you were gone, however, I was thinking about some things. We need our own Severus."
Odee looked at her in confusion. "What do you mean?"
"Our own spy." Lilly said with a grin.
"A good thought." Odee chuckle. "Who do you have in mind?"
"The one person who Harry seems determined to keep clueless. The one person whom he fears will figure things out." She laughed.
"Hermione." Lily said with an evil grin.