Okay! Chapter 3 is here! I can honestly say that writing this universe has been quite fun! Thanks to all who reviewed. It's been awhile since the update, and I'm sorry. I hate loose ends, so here is the FINAL chapter. This is my very own TF/LOTR Trilogy, then it will officially retire. Have fun, gang!

+++++++++++++It's not Mt. St. Hilary, it's Mt Doom! Chapter 3++++++++++++

{The Decepticons are flying toward Mt. Doom. Saruman is mounted on his Nazgul. Rumble feels inspired and decides to sing a "war song" to rouse the Decepticons for battle)

Rumble:

Oh! those stupid Autobots!

Shaped like stupid cars and trucks!

Can't even fly

So they must die!

Those stupid Autobots! HEY!
Thundercracker: Can somebody make him shut up?
Rumble:

Oh! Those stupid Autobots!

I sure hate them lots and lots!

Megatron is king,

That's why I sing,

I hate those Autobots! HEY!

Thundercracker: Have you been sniffing paint again, Rumble?

Rumble:

Oh! Those stupid Autobots!

I'll spray their bottoms and their tops!

With a can of paint!

Purple is so great!

I'll spray them all until they faint! HEY!
Megatron: Soundwave? Did you take that paint away from Rumble?

Soundwave: Not yet, Megatron.

Megatron: Damn. You better not pull any pranks, Rumble! Stop sniffing that paint!

Rumble: IT'S MY PAINT! IT'S MINE! (he takes another whiff)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

[Gandalf summons the Fellowship to Rivendell to discuss a way to save Optimus Prime from the influence of Sauron, and destroy his spirit which has infected the Matrix]

Legolas: I'm not going!

Gandalf: But you must help us, Legolas!

Legolas: I don't have to help you do anything! Those Autobots are nothing but trouble, especially Optimus Prime, I hate him the most!

Gandalf: But your presence is desperately needed!

Legolas: I'M NOT GOING!! (he then takes out a comb and starts brushing his long, blonde hair)

Gandalf: But . . . . . .

Legolas: I said no! I'm not going and that is final.

Aragorn: I know how to solve this, Gandalf. (Aragorn whips out a bottle of "Herbal Essences" shampoo. Legolas jaw drops and starts to foam at the mouth).

Aragorn: Yes, you want this shampoo don't you? (Legolas eyes start bugging out of his head).

Gandalf: That's a pretty good trick, Aragorn! (Legolas stares at the shampoo completely transfixed).

Aragorn: Tell us you're going on the quest Legolas, or no shampoo for you! (he shakes the bottle from side to side).

Legolas: Shhhhaaaaaaammmmmmpppooooooooo.

Aragorn: Oh yeah, he's in.

Gandalf: Good! How about you Frodo? If anybody knows what it's like to bear a heavy burden, it's you.

Frodo: Of course I'll help Optimus!

Sam: And don't be forgetting about me Gandalf! Where Master Frodo goes, I go! (He smiles at Frodo, grinning from ear to ear).

Frodo: Well Sam, you really don't have to go this time.

Sam: Oh no Master, I'll follow you anywhere!

Frodo: No REALLY SAM, YOU DON'T HAVE TO FOLLOW ME THIS TIME!

Sam: It's the least I can do

Frodo: SAM!!!!! (He jumps on him and wrestles him to the ground I WANT YOU TO STOP FOLLOWING ME AROUND!!!!!!!

Sam: But Master Frodo?

Frodo: AND STOP CALLING ME MASTER!!!!

Sam: But you are my master, Frodo. My master until the bitter end (he hugs Frodo).

(Frodo struggles to free himself from Sam's embrace)

Frodo: LET ME GO!!!!! (they wrestle around on the ground)

Aragorn: Okay, is anybody else but me slightly disturbed by this? (the others nod in agreement).

(Merry and Pippin each grab a Hobbit and drag them away from each other).

Frodo: It used to be cute for the first few months! Now you're just irritating!

Sam: I won't leave you Frodo, I'm your Sam, and I'll always be!

Frodo: Don't call me "your Sam" you freak! (Frodo blushes with embarrassment).

Gandalf: It looks like Sam's not going anywhere but with you, Frodo.

Frodo: AH MAN! (Sam continues to smile broadly at him). Do you know how hard it is getting date with him always hanging on me?

Elrond: Then it has been decided! The Fellowship shall unite once more against evil!

Gandalf: But how are we going to destroy Sauron without harming Optimus and the Matrix?

Elrond: I'm afraid we have no other choice. The Matrix must be destroyed.

Gandalf: No! There has to be another way!

Elrond: What other choice do we have? Saruman has joined forces with Megatron and is headed toward Mt. Doom as we speak.

All: GASP!

Gandalf: And how do you know this, Elrond?

(Starscream walks into the council) Hey guys!

Gandalf: Starscream! What devilry is this! A Decepticon in Rivendell?

Starscream: A devil that can help you stop Saruman!

Gandalf: And why would you help us defeat Saruman?

Starscream: Because he's the new evil sidekick next to Megatron, and I want him DEAD!

Gandalf: So, your helping us is motivated by your own lust for power. How do we know that we can trust you?

Starscream: You can't really, I'm really quite the evil bastard myself, but I'll try really, really hard not to kill you. Promise.

Gandalf: And when Saruman is defeated what then? Will you go back to the Decepticon cause from whence you came?

Starscream: Yes, once Saruman is gone, Megatron will be groveling for me to come home.

(The council looks at each other like, "yeah right!")

Gandalf: Fine, so we head off to rescue our friends!

Starscream: And destroy our enemies!

Gimli: I think I'm beginning to like you Starscream!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

(Hot Rod and Optimus are still walking towards Mt. Doom)

Optimus: Admit it! You want my Matrix.

Hot Rod: I'm just gonna leave you here if you don't stop harassing me!

Optimus: Why don't you just tell the truth? You're after my position as leader of the Autobots.

Hot Rod: ALRIGHT! I did a stupid thing, okay? I admit it! I got between you and Megatron and you died as a result. But I didn't mean to do it! It was stupid and I'm really sorry. There, ARE YOU HAPPY NOW!

Optimus: I don't believe you.

Hot Rod: What do you want me to do? I can't change the way things happened. I don't know why you're bent on punishing me. I mean, you looked into Galadriel's mirror and changed Transformer history as a result. Now you didn't die and you're here safe and sound. Now would you stop it with all that Matrix stuff? I'm not after it!

Optimus: You're still a little punk and I have to keep a close watch on you. My precious and me will both watch you closely, won't we precious?

Hot Rod: Would you please stop talking to that thing? I mean, you are SO out of character right now. I think I have lost all respect for you. Maybe it would be better if you were dead!

Optimus: That's it! Another year in the closet for you!

Hot Rod: I'M SORRY I'M SORRY! I didn't mean that! I was just kidding!

Optimus: You say one more word Hot Rod, and I'll make it another year!

Hot Rod: That's not fair!

Optimus: You just opened your mouth again! That's another year!

Hot Rod: You can't do that!

Optimus: Two years!

Hot Rod: I'll get my lawyer!

Optimus: Three years!

Hot Rod: Yeah right!

Optimus: FOUR YEARS!

Hot Rod: Oh kiss my ass!

Optimus: FIVE YEARS! Wanna make it six?

Hot Rod: Why don't you just make it forever you stupid, old, geezer freak?

Optimus: ETERNITY!

Hot Rod: I'd like to see you try to do it!

Optimus: Don't think I can? You should ask Grimlock what I do to Transformers I don't like.

Hot Rod: Don't threaten me Optimus! You don't know what I can do to Transformers I DON'T LIKE! Especially old farts like you!

Optimus: Is that so?

Hot Rod: Wanna tempt me?

Optimus: LET'S GO!

(Hot Rod and Optimus run at each other. Optimus easily overpowers Hot Rod and pins him to the ground and wraps his hands around his neck).

Optimus: DIE YOU LITTLE PUNK!

Hot Rod: NEVER!!!! (He kicks Optimus off of him and runs like hell to a rock, where he hides).

Optimus: STOP STEALING MY LINES!

Hot Rod: Optimus! Look at what we're doing? We're trying to kill each other and it's because of the Matrix! Its turning us evil! Its power is coming from Sauron! Optimus! We must get a hold of ourselves!

Optimus: COME HERE SO I CAN FINISH YOU OFF!

Hot Rod: Prime! You've got to fight it! Don't let Sauron's power enslave you!

Optimus: I'm not a slave! I AM A GREAT WARRIOR WHO WILL CONQUER ALL! (Optimus runs up and grabs Hot Rod by the neck again and lifts him off the ground)

Hot Rod: STOP. . . . . .YOU'RE . . . . . . .GONNA. . . . . . KILL. . . . . ME!

Optimus: Exactly!

(Hot Rod flings his leg at Optimus, which causes him to loose balance. He drops Hot Rod and falls over, hitting his head against a rock. He sinks down unconscious).

Hot Rod: Optimus? Optimus? Are you alright? (he shakes Optimus) OPTIMUS SAY SOMETHING! (he shakes harder) OH MY GAWD I JUST KILLED MY LEADER AGAIN! DAMN MY LIFE! OH CRUEL UNIVERSE!

(Hot Rod opens a channel to Autobot City to speak with Ultra Magnus).

Hot Rod: Ultra Magnus? Are you there? This is Hot Rod.

Ultra Magnus: Ultra Magnus here, Hot Rod.

Hot Rod: You're not going to believe this, but I've just killed off Optimus again!

Ultra Magnus: Hey! Did you hear that everybody? Hot Rod just killed off Optimus!

Skylynx: YOU BASTARD!

Hot Rod: The quest has failed. I have failed everyone!

Ultra Magnus: Well, not exactly. Just take the Matrix from Prime and continue to head off to Mt. Doom.

Hot Rod: But what about Prime? You want me to just leave him here?

Ultra Magnus: Oh, he'll be alright! Just leave him there.

Hot Rod: MAGNUS!

Ultra Magnus: Oh alright, just bury him if you must!

Hot Rod: MAGNUS! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!

Ultra Magnus: Alright, alright! I'll send the hearse to come around and pick him up. Magnus out!

(Hot Rod kneels beside Optimus)

Hot Rod: Farewell, Optimus Prime. When you're not completely insane, you are the greatest leader I have ever met. You are like a father to me and I'll miss you always.

(Hot Rod takes the Matrix from around Optimus' neck, then BAM BAM BAM! The Decepticon army fires at Hot Rod and Optimus' body. Hot Rod jumps with surprise and hides behind a rock. The Decepticons land on the ground.)

Rumble: Hey? Where'd he go?

Megatron: Let's find him and take the Matrix!

Saruman: Megatron, haven't you noticed that Optimus Prime is lying dead on the ground?

Megatron: Huh? (he practically trips over Optimus and says flatly) Oh, yeah, look, he's dead.

Saruman: (looking puzzled) That's a very odd response from you Megatron. Shouldn't you be ecstatic with happiness that he's dead?

Megatron: (looks down at Saruman) Have you ever watched the Transformer episodes, wizard?

Saruman: Well. . . . .ah. . . . . no. Why?

Megatron: Let me fill you in on a little insider knowledge. Optimus Prime NEVER dies, I swear! I used to get all excited about it the first few times it happened you know? But then he always manages to get revived by some miracle or another and now seeing him lying here dead just doesn't do it for me anymore. You just watch and you'll see what I mean; he'll be up and about again in no time, running around with that stupid look on his face telling everybody how happy he is to be alive. It's SOOOO annoying!

Saruman: Are you positive he will live again?

Megatron: Oh yeah, any minute now. (he picks up a stick and starts poking Optimus with it)

Rumble: Hey Megatron? Do me a favor and roll him over for me!

Megatron: Why would you want me to do something like that?

Rumble: Oh please, please, please, please,

Megatron: SILENCE!

Rumble: Pretty please with shredded Autobot hearts on top?

Megatron: Anything to get you to SHUT UP! (he rolls Optimus' body over)

(Rumble takes out his can of purple Krylon Paint and sprays some on his hand. He then slaps Optimus on the rear end, leaving a purple hand mark).

Rumble: It's the purple hand of Rumble!

Megatron: PUT THAT PAINT AWAY! (Rumble hides it behind his back)

Saruman: That's disgusting! You are playing with the dead! Have you no respect!

(Megatron and Rumble are both poking at Optimus with sticks)

Saruman: MEGATRON! Quit poking Optimus with that stick!

Megatron: Wake up LOSER! (he jabs Optimus a few more times) He'll be around any minute now.

Saruman: AHEM! Have you forgotten the reason WHY were here?

(Megatron isn't paying any attention to Saruman. He continues to poke Optimus)

Megatron: Hmmmmm. . . .that's strange, he usually wakes up right about now (poke, poke, poke)

Saruman: AAAAHEM! Matrix, remember?

Megatron: (poke, poke, poke) There must be something wrong! (poke, poke)

Saruman: MEGATRON!

Megatron: (jumps) WHAT?

Saruman: Would you knock that off! Remember the mission!

Megatron: Oh yes! The mission! Where was I again? (clears throat) LET'S FIND THAT AUTOBRAT AND TAKE THE MATRIX!

Saruman: That's better.

(The Decepticons spread out. Skywarp sees something and looks behind a rock, where Hot Rod is hiding)

Skywarp: I FOUND HIM! (He fires at Hot Rod. Megatron flies overhead and has Hot Rod pinned down against the rock, reaching for the Matrix).

Gandalf: Not so fast Megatron!

Megatron: Gandalf!

(The Fellowship stands proudly together. Starscream crosses his arms and gives Megatron an indignant look)

Megatron: Starscream? Apart of the Fellowship? Have you gone mad?

Starscream: I'm here to get rid of a particular "sidekick" and reclaim my position as second in command!

Megatron: The position isn't available, Starscream. And for you it never will be!

Saruman: I'll show you what we do to traitors! YWAH! (he points his staff at Starscream, transforming him into a chicken)

Starscream: BOCK BOCK BOCK!

Gandalf: Not so fast Saruman! YWAH! (he transforms Starscream back to a robot)

Starscream: HEY!

Saruman: YWAH! (chicken)

Starscream: BOCK!

Gandalf: YWAH! (robot)

Starscream: HEY!

(This goes on for a few minutes, with Starscream yelling, "Hey! Bock! Hey! Bock! Hey Bock! Hey!")

Rumble: This is getting me dizzy! (Megatron nods in agreement)

Megatron: Alright Saruman! That's enough! Starscream may be many things, but turning him into an organic being is just plain WRONG! I get the quakes just thinking about it!

(Saruman transforms Starscream back to a robot)

Starscream: HEY! (he coughs up chicken feathers)

Gandalf: Now is the time to end this once and for all! The forces of evil must be swayed. ATTACK POSITIONS!

(Gimli, Merry, Pippin, Sam, Frodo, Aragorn, Legolas, Starscream, and Gandalf strike defensive poses. Megatron looks at them unimpressed).

Megatron: So, the little Fellowship has come to try and stop us, have they? We shall see about that! When I get my hands on the Matrix, I will be able to . . . . . .uh. . . .Hey Legolas? Is that you?

Legolas: Hey! My man Megatron! How's it going?

(The Fellowships mouths drop to the ground)

Megatron: Are you up to being an honorary Decepticon like we talked about?

Legolas: Sure! (He walks over and stands next to Megatron) Do we get to destroy Optimus Prime? He's a tree killer you know!

Megatron: It looks like he's already dead.

Legolas: Hot Rod again, huh?

Megatron: Sad how it's always him isn't it?

(Hot Rod jumps up)

Hot Rod: SHUT UP!

Saruman: This is pointless. We are at war and Hot Rod has the Matrix!

Gandalf: And you're NEVER going to take it from him either! Ready for attack!

Frodo: I'll distract the Decepticons. Hot Rod, you run up to Mt. Doom and throw the Matrix inside, okay?

Hot Rod: OKAY!

Frodo: GO! (Frodo takes out the Phial of Galadriel which creates a bright light, blinding the Decepticons. Hot Rod makes a run for it)

Megatron: AHHHHHH! The Hobbit has blinded me! (He shoots wildly in Frodo's direction)

(Merry and Pippin take out the Elf Rope and use it to trip Soundwave and Skywarp, who are staggering around trying to shield their optics. Megatron fires wildly, and fires a shot directly at Sam, but Rumble stumbles in the path, instead.)

Rumble: AAAAAAHHHHHH! (Rumble falls over, taking Sam with him).

Sam: Why Rumble! You just saved my life! I owe you a life debt! (He hugs Rumble)

Rumble: Who are you? Let go of me! AAAAHHHHH (Sam is locked in an embrace around Rumble's leg)

Rumble: LET ME GO! HEY! SOMEBODY HELP ME! (Rumble is seen running around with a Hobbit attached to his leg) AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

(Meanwhile, Starscream is firing shots at Dirge and Ramjet, who are firing back. Legolas is firing arrows at Starscream).

Starscream: You stupid Elf! Take that! (He fires shots at Legolas, who fires arrows back at him. Gimli sneeks up and grabs Legolas)

Gimli: Are you absolutely mad? You are at war with the wrong side! Megatron is the enemy!

Legolas: I told you I didn't want to go on this stupid quest! I hate Optimus Prime and everybody that stands for him should die too!

Aragorn: Ahem, Legolas?

(Legolas looks over to see Aragorn, whose holding the bottle of Herbal Essences in his hand)

Aragorn: Remember this? (He shakes it from side to side).

Legolas: Why do you have to torment me with that? You know I want that shampoo!

Aragorn: Then get your butt back over here and fight on the right side!

Legolas: If I do, will I be able to take a shower with the shampoo tonight?

(Aragorn looks perplexed. He sees a flash in his mind of Legolas moaning in ecstasy in the shower with the shampoo on his head. He then thinks about how irritating it is having to listen to Legolas shout, YES! YES! YES! and whip that hair around like a girl. Not that Legolas doesn't do that already, but. . . . .)

Legolas: WELL?

Aragorn: OH! ALRIGHT! (He gives Legolas the shampoo, knowing he's going to regret it later).

Legolas: Alright, then we have a deal! (Legolas turns around and fires at Soundwave, instead).

Rumble: AAAAAAHHHHHHH! (Sam is riding piggy back on Rumble)

Sam: I'm YOUR Sam, Rumble!

Rumble: GET HIM OFF ME! AAAAAAHHHHHH!!! (He runs around the battlefield in circles screaming)

(Meanwhile, the Phial of Galadriel fades and its light dims).

Megatron: MUHAHAHAH!!!!! Now it is time for the Frodo Baggins to die! (He points his fusion cannon at Frodo, whose backed up against a rock with that terrified look on his face we've all come to love. Megatron fires a direct shot at Frodo. The beam hits Frodo straight in the chest, then bounces back and hits Megatron, instead).

Megatron: UGH! (He falls over. Frodo whips out his sword 'Sting' and points it in Megatron's face)

Frodo: Leave this place now, or perish by my sword!

Megatron: But how? How did you do that?

(Frodo unbuttons his shirt and underneath displays his Mithril mail coat. Aragorn, Gimli, Merry and Pippin also point their weapons at Megatron).

Gandalf: Hobbits may be small, but their more powerful than you can imagine, Megatron.

Megatron: I knew I should've read those stupid books!

Gandalf: Surrender now, Megatron, or I'll turn you into the most disgusting organic being alive!

Megatron: Oh NO! Please don't! I want to be a gorilla!

Gandalf: Then you had better run! (Frodo starts to run off to Mt. Doom to help Hot Rod).

Megatron: DECEPTICONS! RETREAT! (He jumps up and starts to run away, but first trips over Optimus Prime in the process and lands flat on his face. Optimus stirs).

Optimus: What the. . . . .(He rubs his head). Megatron? What am I going here? And what are YOU doing here?

Megatron: I KNEW IT! You damn robot! I'm SO sick of you always coming back to life!

Optimus: Hey! That's not fair, I mean, look at me! I wake up and the first thing I have to look at is your ugly face!

Megatron: I'm LEAVING! (Megatron gets up)

Saruman: NO! Don't flee! We almost had the Matrix!

Megatron: What's the point? That little Autobrat has probably already thrown it inside the mountain by now!

(Optimus gets up) The Matrix? Being thrown into Mt. Doom? I MUST STOP HIM! (He runs up the mountain slope).

(Meanwhile, Hot Rod is at the precipice of Mt. Doom, standing over the magma. Frodo is running up behind him. The closer Hot Rod gets, the more power from the Sauron's spirit he feels).

Matrix: HOOOOT ROOOOD!!!! JOIN WITH ME HOT ROD! CONQUER MIDDLE EARTH AND RULE! HOOOOOT ROOOOOD!

Frodo: Don't listen to it Hot Rod! You must destroy the Matrix!

(Hot Rod looks conflicted. Should he throw the Matrix inside the magma, should be join with Sauron, or should he keep it? His mind races with confusion as the intense influence of Sauron's spirit engulfs him).

Matrix: HOOOOOT ROOOOD!

Optimus: HOT ROD! STOP! DON'T THROW THE MATRIX INSIDE!

Frodo: Don't listen to Optimus! THROW IT IN!

Matrix: HOOOOOOT ROOOOOOD! JOIN WITH ME!

Optimus: Are you crazy? You are about to destroy the most precious artifact of Cybertron!

Frodo: Throw it in! Throw it in!

Optimus: Shut up, Frodo!

Frodo: YOU SHUT UP!

Optimus: NO YOU!

Frodo: YOU!

Optimus: YOU!

(Hot Rod looks at Frodo, then at Optimus, then back at Frodo, then back at Optimus).

Frodo: SHUT UP PRIME!

Optimus: SHUT UP HOBBIT!

Frodo: I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!

Optimus: NO YOU DON'T!

Frodo: YES I DO, HERE! (Frodo throws the Lord of the Rings trilogy at Optimus' head) READ THAT!

Optimus: HEY! What do you do, keep those books hidden around in your pocket until it's time to throw them at somebody's head? Don't throw your stupid little books at me!

(Frodo and Optimus start arguing)

Hot Rod: SHUT UP! (They both stop arguing at look at him. He's clutching the Matrix shaking with anxiety and fear).

Hot Rod: I think, I think. . I should. . . . (He holds it over the magma)

Matrix: HOOOOOOT ROOOOOOD!

Optimus: No Hot Rod, don't!

Frodo: Yes Hot Rod! Throw it in!

(Suddenly, Megatron dives down with Saruman from the volcano's cone and snatches the Matrix from Hot Rod).

Megatron: Muhahahahahah! I have it finally! The Matrix of Power!

Saruman: Yes! Now we can release the spirit of Sauron back into the volcano and soon the world of Middle-Earth will fall!

Optimus: Not if I can help it! (He jumps at Megatron and they are both engaged in a fight over the Matrix).

(The Volcano starts to rumble and crack, chunks of rock begin to fall into the magma)

Saruman: You had better get that Matrix Megatron, otherwise, no evil clone for you! (Saruman then leans up against the volcano wall and lights a cigarette, looking bored).

Hot Rod: I've GOT to help Prime!

Frodo: No Hot Rod! If you do, you'll only screw things up.

(Optimus and Megatron are tug-of-warring over the Matrix)

Megatron: Let go! It's my Matrix of Power!

Optimus: It not called the 'Matrix of Power' stupid! It's called the Matrix of Leadership!

Frodo: (scratches head) I always thought it was called 'The Creation Matrix'?

Optimus: Shut up, Frodo!

(A secret door opens in the volcano wall and Dr. Evil walks out)

Dr. Evil: Would you all please get out of my Friggin' secret volcano lair? You're messing up my "Liquid Hot Mag-Ma" That's very hard to replace, you know!)

(Optimus and Megatron stop everything they're doing and look at Dr. Evil with confused expressions, thinking, "What the. . . ?)

(Saruman finishes off his twelfth cigarette and looks at the heavens like, "Oh, just kill me now!")

(Hot Rod jumps in-between Megatron and Optimus and grabs the Matrix while they're distracted)

Hot Rod: AH HA! I've got the Matrix now! Whoops! (He trips over a rock and drops the Matrix into the "Liquid Hot Mag-Ma")

Hot Rod: Oh crap!

Optimus and Megatron: OH CRAP!

Dr. Evil: Okay! Funs over, you lost your little toy, now go home. Shoo now, go on, go home (he walks back into the secret door and departs)

The volcano begins to quake, a huge shriek is heard from the magma, as Sauron's spirit begins to die. Huge rock boulders and debris begin ripping the volcano walls apart.

Optimus grabs Hot Rod by the arm and says, "We've got to get out of here!" Hot Rod nods in agreement and grabs Frodo. They then transform and roll out, as huge rocks fly at them from every direction.

Megatron and Saruman fly away, as the volcano begins to break apart. Dr Evil comes out of the secret door, sees all the destruction and says, "Those A-holes! They just ruined my friggin' volcano!" He runs like a girl into Bob's Big Boy and flies away.

Meanwhile, the Fellowship hears the explosion from the volcano and sees the magma spewing out. They jump on their horses and run away. Optimus and Hot Rod race down the mountain as fast as they can, inches away from the magma. Soon they speed away in the safety of their own lands.

Epilogue: Sometime in the future

The Land of Middle-Earth is quiet. The birds are singing, the deer graze quietly, the brook babbles, the wind blows softly, and the YES! YES! YES! . . . . .uh, as I was saying, the land is peaceful and quiet, (that is, with the exception of Legolas taking his showers) Aragorn can hear Legolas all the way in Gondor and curses to himself every time he hears him.

Optimus locked Hot Rod in the closet again for another year as punishment for dropping the Matrix and destroying it. He still gets visits from Kup once an awhile. Gandalf and Optimus remain friends.

Saruman whined endlessly to Megatron about not getting the Matrix and ruining the mission. Megatron decided he was starting to sound like Starscream, so he went ahead and replaced him. Saruman lives alone in the tower Orthanc.

Samwise Gamgee continues to write e-mails to Rumble. He gets no response back.

Frodo Baggins finally got a serious date, and is living happily in Bag-End.

Rumble spends his days entertaining himself by slapping the Decepticons on the rear end with a purple hand mark. Soundwave continues to try taking it from him.

Megatron continues to plot evil plans against the Autobots. Now that the Matrix is gone, he actually thinks he's got a chance at winning. (YEAH RIGHT!)

The End!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Alright! That concludes my personal trilogy of "It's not Mt. St. Hilary, it's Mt. Doom!" I hope you got a few laughs.

Now it is time to explain a few things. First of all, I did NOT invent the Legolas/Herbal Essences joke. That is a huge gag invented by some writer at Fanfiction.net in the Lord of the Rings/humor section. I cannot give you the exact inventor, as EVERYBODY is playing with this idea and it's impossible to know who the originator was. So, I'm just playing along too and wanted to disclaim myself of the idea. Dr. Evil is not my property either. He belongs to Mike Meyers.

So, now that I've managed to hold your attention this long, why don't you send me a quick review and call it good. Love ya gang, C-Ya Later! Crazomatic