This is an all-dialogue fic, which is a bit out of my comfort range. I know they're not always the most liked, but I figured an attempt would not be amiss. It'll range from texts to actual phone calls at some point, and emmost likely/em the final chapter will actually be normal story format (if it gets that far) unless I make it a "sequel" one-shot or something akin to that.

I'd like to include almost everyone, but that could get tricky, so we'll see how it goes for now. Currently, I foresee that Gideon will make an "appearance" in this, but as you can see, Rossi is already in it, which means he's part of the BAU while Gideon is not. Haley and Hotch are not still together in this, so Jack's involvement is blurry, but I'm doing my best for him to be in it.

That's all I want to address for now, but hopefully this will go well.

To be honest: this might be easier to read on ao3, since I will have several instances where you'll need to go to my profile to follow a link since pictures and videos cannot be put on here. Plus, the way the breaks are done actually works better there since I can use characters that aren't letters. Wtf is up with that?


Hotch | Reid | Rossi

Monday, September 20th

(Mon 9:28 am)
I know we just got back, but round table is in thirty.

(Mon 9:32 am)
Operating under the assumption this is a group text, I'm going to disregard the first part. However, I don't quite understand why we're calling our breakfast party "round table." Did you finally finish that book I gave you?

(Mon 9:34 am)
Judging by your response, you are not Dave.

(Mon 9:36 am)
No, it's Spencer. Who is Dave? Is he new?

(Mon 9:37 am)
I must have the wrong number. Sorry.

(Mon 9:39 am)
No harm, no foul. Did you or this Dave recently get a new phone?

(Mon 9:53 am)
He did. I have the right number now. I really do apologize.

(Mon 9:55 am)
Like I said before, it's fine. I'm glad you found Dave. Hope your meeting goes well.

(Mon 9:57 am)
Have fun at your breakfast party.


Monday, September 27th

(Mon 10:08 am)
I never really have fun at the breakfast parties.

(Mon 10:24 am)
Excuse me?

(Mon 10:26 am)
Last week, you told me, "Have fun at your breakfast party." We have them every Monday. I never have fun at them.

(Mon 10:28 am)
Spencer, right?

(Mon 10:31 am)
You remembered! Did your meeting go well?

(Mon 10:34 am)
Given the nature of all my round table meetings, it went as well as expected.
(Mon 10:35 am)
Do you try to talk to anyone at your parties?

(Mon 10:37 am)
I used to try, but they all treat me like a kid. It's more than a little irritating.
(Mon 10:39 am)
And I can only play the "I can quote obscure lines from just about anything" game so long before it gets boring. Or people mock me. Whichever one comes first.
(Mon 10:46 am)
Sorry. I just realized you are most likely at work, and all I'm doing is potentially annoying you.

(Mon 11:39 am)
I am at work, but you're not annoying me.
(Mon 11:40 am)
Can you really quote obscure lines?

(Mon 12:02 pm)
Yes. I have an eidetic memory.

(Mon 12:05 pm)
So it's sorta social. Demented and sad, but social. Right?

(Mon 12:06 pm)
John Bender. The Breakfast Club.
(Mon 12:07 pm)
Were you talking about the breakfast parties?

(Mon 12:09 pm)
It may have been the reason that was the first quote to come to mind.

(Mon 12:12 pm)
Well, it's a very apt description of them. I don't quite understand why we have them.

(Mon 12:14 pm)
They never explained them?

(Mon 12:17 pm)
Oh, no, they did. It's supposed to "boost morale so we work more efficiently" and so we "have a chance to properly socialize." It has deviated from that, however, and is now used for gossiping about other departments.
(Mon 12:18 pm)
I actually like most the people in other departments.

(Mon 12:20 pm)
Which is why you text the stranger instead of talk to coworkers.

(Mon 12:20 pm)
Yes.
(Mon 12:28 pm)
Is that weird?

xxx

(Mon 4:56 pm)
Right. Sorry for bothering you at work. Again.

xxx
xxx

(Tues 2:47 am)
You keep apologizing when you haven't done anything wrong. I don't find it weird enough to stop replying, obviously. I should warn you that I get called away on jobs quite frequently, so I may not respond at appropriate times or even within 48 hours.

(Tues 2:52 am)
Quite like what I've just done. I hope I didn't wake you. (Now who's weird?)

xxx

(Tues 7:23 am)
Thank you. Just - thank you.


Monday, October 4th

(Mon 10:11 am)
I'm on a job, but I have a few minutes. How're you holding up?

(Mon 10:13 am)
There are approximately 224 ceiling tiles in the room.

(Mon 10:14 am)
Sounds rough.
(Mon 10:14 am)
Ceiling tiles?

(Mon 10:15 am)
We really need to do renovations.
(Mon 10:16 am)
Are you sure you have time to be texting me?

x

(Mon 12:04 pm)
Thought so. Thanks for checking on me.

xxx

(Mon 10:24 pm)
This is the third Monday I've seen you texting, Aaron.

(Mon 10:27 pm)
That's a weak case, even for you.

(Mon 10:30 pm)
It's the second Monday I've caught you texting *during* a case.
(Mon 10:31 pm)
You were smiling earlier.

(Mon 10:35 pm)
I was? Must mean the end of the world.
(Mon 10:36 pm)
And I always text during cases.

(Mon 10:38 pm)
You do. But it's a Monday.

(Mon 10:40 pm)
Go to sleep, Dave. You've officially stopped making sense.

(Mon 10:41 pm)
This isn't over.

(Mon 10:42 pm)
Goodnight.


(Wed 2:42 pm)
Are you only using me for Monday mornings?

(Wed 3:17 pm)
Good afternoon to you, too.
(Wed 3:18 pm)
To answer your question, though: no?

(Wed 3:18 pm)
Good afternoon, Spencer.
(Wed 3:20 pm)
That answer seems a little uncertain.

(Wed 3:22 pm)
I'm just surprised by the question. What made you think that?

(Wed 3:25 pm)
I've only ever received texts on Monday mornings.

(Wed 3:30 pm)
The last two times you never replied, and you'd said you were busy. I don't really know how long your jobs last, and I don't want to bother you when you're definitely working. If anything, I should be the one asking you that question.

(Wed 3:32 pm)
Fair enough.


(Fri 11:21 pm)
Did you know "The Star Spangled Banner" was written to the tune of a drinking song?

(Fri 11:23 pm)
I did not.
(Fri 11:24 pm)
What inspired you to share this information?

(Fri 11:27 pm)
I'm out with friends, and it's karaoke night at this bar.

(Fri 11:32 pm)
If you're out with friends, why are you texting me?

(Fri 11:34 pm)
They're all drunk, and sjihglkjdfoi
(Fri 11:36 pm)
whos htis

(Fri 11:38 pm)
No one important. Who are you?

(Fri 11:38 pm)
a friend
(Fri 11:39 pm)
and dnot lie

(Fri 11:41 pm)
I'm not lying. Why do you have Spencer's phone?

(Fri 11:42 pm)
cuz
(Fri 11:42 pm)
he's busy
(Fri 11:43 pm)
its his bljhfdsfjiogj
(Fri 11:46 pm)
Sorry. My friends are more than a little drunk.

(Fri 11:48 pm)
It's fine. Conflicts of interest?

(Fri 11:49 pm)
Yes. They want me to drink with them.

(Fri 11:50 pm)
You don't drink?

(Fri 11:51 pm)
I do. In moderation.
(Fri 11:53 pm)
They're acting out because it's almost midnight, and I told them I'd drink on my birthday.

(Fri 11:54 pm)
It's your birthday?

(Fri 11:54 pm)
Not yet.

(Fri 11:55 pm)
...Spencer.

(Fri 11:55 pm)
What?

(Fri 11:56 pm)
Is this outing meant to celebrate your birthday?
(Fri 11:59 pm)
Your silence is answer enough. Please spend time with your friends.
(Sat 12:00 am)
And Happy Birthday, Spencer.

(Sat 12:00 am)
I'm going.
(Sat 12:00 am)
And thanks.

xxx

(Sat 2:28 am)
why don't o lnpw ypour named?

(Sat 2:30 am)
Who is this?

(Sat 2:31 am)
Spencer solyl
(Sat 2:31 am)
slliy*
(Sat 2:32 am)
silly**^

(Sat 2:34 am)
You're drunk, and it's late. Go to sleep.

(Sat 2:35 am)
mnot driunk
(Sat 2:35am)
ok yes but
(Sat 2:36 am)
I'm on s cab
(Sat 2:36 am)
in a*

(Sat 2:38 am)
I'll keep you company until you get home, but then you better sleep.

(Sat 2:39 am)
yessir
(Sat 2:39 am)
aree ypi a sir?
(Sat 2:40 am)
you*

(Sat 2:41 am)
Yes, I am.
(Sat 2:45 am)
Spencer?

(Sat 2:45 am)
th eight you were
(Sat 2:46 am)
thought*
(Sat 2:46 am)
yeah?

(Sat 2:48 am)
When you're sober, I'll ask what made you think so. And I was just seeing if you were awake.

(Sat 2:50 am)
ok
(Sat 2:50 am)
yeah homne now

(Sat 2:52 am)
Good. Drink some water and go to sleep.

(Sat 2:53 am)
wait
(Sat 2:54 am)
ypo nevwr answrred me

(Sat 2:55 am)
What?

(Sat 2:56 am)
earlier
(Sat 2:57 am)
you lnow my namw

(Sat 2:58 am)
Hotch.

(Sat 2:58 am)
Hotch?

(Sat 2:59 am)
It's a nickname.

(Sat 3:00 am)
ok
(Sat 3:01 am)
night Hotch

(Sat 3:02 am)
Goodnight, Spencer.

xxx
xxx

(Sat 11:08 am)
I am so sorry. I have never drunk text someone before.

(Sat 11:15 am)
It's fine. Never?

(Sat 11:17 am)
Never. I'm usually on the receiving end.
(Sat 11:18 am)
And then I text them early the next morning for revenge.

(Sat 11:20 am)
Is that your way of asking why I didn't do that?

(Sat 11:22 am)
Kind of. But you seem too mature to do that.

(Sat 11:25 am)
I did it all the time back in college. I guess I am a bit old to do it now, though.
(Sat 11:26 am)
Plus, it's your birthday. Consider it my present.

(Sat 11:30 am)
You exhibit a few components of alpha male behavior. You had no issues taking blame for something and apologizing, and you accepted my explanation for why we hadn't sent texts outside of Monday mornings. Your word choices and your responses are always very controlled, even when I sent you a text that undoubtedly woke you and gave you every right to be angry and terse with me.

(Sat 11:32 am)
I'm not sure I follow.

(Sat 11:34 am)
You said you wanted to know what made me think you were a male.
(Sat 11:35 am)
Technically, you said you'd ask me when I was sober, but I figured I'd go ahead and explain.

(Sat 11:36 am)
You can tell that from texts?

(Sat 11:37 am)
Yeah. It's not hard to detect.

(Sat 11:40 am)
That's amazing, Spencer.

xxx

(Sat 2:23 pm)
Did I say something wrong?

(Sat 2:38 pm)
No. I just didn't know what to say. No one's ever told me that before. Not like that.

(Sat 2:40 pm)
Like what?

(Sat 2:41 pm)
Like it actually was amazing.


(Sun 10:17 am)
Case came in. Briefing on the jet. Try to be there in thirty.

(Sun 10:20 am)
No problem.
(Sun 10:21 am)
Should I expect to see you texting tomorrow morning?

(Sun 10:42 am)
Could you attempt to be subtle?

(Sun 10:44 am)
I could. If you'd tell me what was going on.
(Sun 10:47 am)
Non-subtly it is.


(Mon 10:18 am)
Three weeks until Halloween.

(Mon 10:25 am)
You like Halloween?

(Mon 10:27 am)
Are you kidding? I love Halloween!
(Mon 10:28 am)
You can be anyone you want to be.

(Mon 10:30 am)
I get the vibe you're too old to go Trick-or-Treating.

(Mon 10:32 am)
That's because I am, but we can dress up where I work. In fact, it's highly encouraged.

(Mon 10:44 am)
Isn't Halloween on a Sunday?

(Mon 10:45 am)
Yes.
(Mon 10:46 am)
So we'll dress up on Monday. It still works because it's the Day of the Dead.

(Mon 10:48 am)
I have to stop you there. It would be inappropriate to smile where I currently am. Hope the rest of your breakfast party goes well.

(Mon 10:50 am)
Thanks. And you really need to tell me when you're on jobs, Hotch.
(Mon 10:51 am)
We could even have a code.

xxx

(Mon 1:22 pm)
Don't think I didn't see you texting again.

(Mon 1:26 pm)
We're working, Dave.

(Mon 1:28 pm)
I'm well aware of that.
(Mon 1:29 pm)
You didn't seem to care earlier.

(Mon 1:32 pm)
Later.

(Mon 1:33 pm)
I'll hold you to that.

xxx

(Mon 10:59 pm)
A coworker of mine is suspicious of our texts.

(Mon 11:11 pm)
It's 11:11. Make a wish.
(Mon 11:12 pm)
And suspicious of them how?

(Mon 11:13 pm)
What's special about 11:11?
(Mon 11:15 pm)
He's mostly curious, and it sounds as though he thinks it's more than it actually is.

(Mon 11:15 pm)
You've never heard about wishing on 11:11?
(Mon 11:17 pm)
You mean more than an accidental text to a stranger, who happened to keep texting you?

(Mon 11:19 pm)
I have not. And yes, more than that.

(Mon 11:21 pm)
I'll get to the 11:11 thing in a moment. I assume you brought it up because you want to tell him about it. I don't mind.

(Mon 11:23 pm)
Thank you.
(Mon 11:23 pm)
And please do explain the 11:11 significance.

(Mon 11:24 pm)
One quick question: is it Dave?

(Mon 11:26 pm)
I'm not going to ask how you know that.
(Mon 11:26 pm)
But yes, it is.

(Mon 11:27 pm)
Think of it as my talent. ;)
(Mon 11:32 pm)
And 11:11 is a phenomenon that's been around for a while. In numerology the number 11 supposedly possesses traits of patience, honesty, spirituality, sensitivity, intuition, and idealism. There are several theories involving the significance of 11:11, the most common of which is if you make a (realistic) wish, it'll come true. It's actually rather fascinating. You should look it up sometime.

(Mon 11:34 pm)
I might do that.

xxx

(Mon 11:36 pm)
My room or yours?

(Mon 11:38 pm)
I thought you'd never ask.