Why Couldn't he be Real?

By Siren

Hey guys. This is very depressing, so grab your box of tissues! I don't own Peter Pan or Madonna's 'Little Star'.



Never forget who you are



Little star

Never forget how to dream

Butterfly

I'm 16 years old, and this is the last night that I will wait for him. For the past sixteen years, I have waited countless nights for him to appear. Each night I have been disappointed. Sleepy eyes searched the stars for him. Was he only real in England? I'm not even sure if it was England. I can't remember where Wendy lived. Did he only appear to the young and innocent? I may be older, but I still believe my spirit is innocent.

Lately I've become angry and frustrated. How many nights have I prayed for him to come? How many nights have I opened my window and pulled up the blinds? How many times has my heart been crushed? How many tears have escaped my eyes when life reared its ugly head? Why did he never rescue me from reality? I ignored the scolding of my friends, refusing to give up my hope that he may someday appear.

Even my sisters scoff at my strong hope and belief. They may be younger than me, but they scold me as though they are my elders. I release a sigh as I type this. When I was little, I wore pretty dresses and dreamed of Neverland. The thought of it always brought a smile to my face. But now the years have taken their toll. I wear jeans, t-shirts, and boots instead of dresses. My eyes are colder, and hold a tint of maturity. I usually try to hold on to some sliver of my youth, and try to postpone getting older. But I don't have that kind of power.

God gave a present to me

Made of flesh and bones

My life, my soul

You make my spirit whole

My friend said that we were jaded. I'm not exactly sure what 'jaded' means, but I know that I don't want to be. I want to remain a child at heart, holding onto my innocence. I want to believe that the world is warm and comforting. But I caught a glimpse of it and I was horrified at what I saw. The real world is cold and unwelcoming. It preys on the weak, and kicks you when you're down. The real world has no honor, no love, and no soul. A shudder runs down my spine at the thought of it.

I could feel my heart grow cold and rough, as though it were preparing for the real world. As though it knew that my life would be filled with heartbreak and pain. I tried to slow the process down. I held onto the belief that Neverland was real, and that one day Peter Pan would come and take me away from this place. But he never came, and I have never seen the world that filled my dreams.

Yes, I dreamt of him and his world many nights. But each time I woke up, I felt my heart harden a little more. The disappointment was crushing, but hope burned in the back of my mind. Now I wake up later and later. My eyes open when the sun is high, and when the house is empty. My body is tired, despite the many hours of sleep. But it is only in sleep that I can escape to my desired destination. But I know that one day, I will have to leave my dreams behind and step out into the real world.

Never forget who you are

Little star

Shining brighter than all the stars in the sky

Never forget how to dream

Butterfly

Never forget where you come from

From love

I know that one day my children will harbor these same hopes and dreams. That each night they will wait by their window for the boy of eternal youth to take them away. And I know that each night they will be disappointed. But I will smile, despite their somewhat sad faces. I'll simply give them a kiss, and tell them not to give up hope. I will tell them that the world is warm and loving, and that they will be safe.

But when all is said and done, and when I'm stripped down to the core, I know my heart will yearn for that place of my dreams. Where I could remain a child forever, and never know of the harsh reality that I will face.

You are a treasure to me

You are my star

You breathe new life

Into my broken heart

And in my dreams, I'll watch the faeries dance and the children laugh. I will inhale the sweet scent of lavender, and watch the butterflies flutter. I will be blessed with the gift of flight, and will soar high above the clouds. I will fly far beyond the limits of reality, and will settle in the heavens. It is then that a sense of comfort, security, and contentment will wash over me. And I will have want for nothing else.

Yes, life will be difficult, and it may be unpleasant at times. But I will summon the strength and courage that my dreams bestowed upon me, and I will face it.

May angels protect you

And sadness forget you

Little star

With my friends at my side, I know that there is nothing that I cannot face. I know that there is always room in my heart to forgive those who have hurt me. And to love those who have loved me. I know that I will make the best of life, and that in turn, life will try its best for me.

There's no reason to weep

Lay your head down and sleep

Little star

Little star...is that where Peter is? Is that where he is watching me? Is that where he keeps my dreams safe from harm? A smile touches my lips. Yes, that is where he is. And that is where he shall forever remain. Someday I will join him in the heavens. The day when my life is complete, and fate pulls me from reality. But until that day comes, here is where I'll be.

May goodness surround you

My love I have found you

Little star

Yes, here I shall remain. Reflecting on old memories and making new ones. And at night when I lay my head down to sleep, I'll smile and I'll wait. As my eyes close, and my soul drifts away from me, I will go to that place of wonder. That place of innocence and love. It doesn't matter how old I am, or if my sisters scold me. What matters is that I believe, and that I will hold on to that belief. I will walk through life unafraid, and I will return to that place each night and share with him all that I have learned that day. And my world won't be so sad.

Shining bright

You breathe new life

Into my broken heart

*~*The End*~*