Hey guys… so I just wanted to say something. I will be the first to admit that I am probably one of the most over sensitive people on this planet. I take everything to heart, even if I know I shouldn't. Every comment or critique I take it seriously. The good reviews, make me smile. The bad ones, well they bring me down.
I have been in a funk when it comes to writing. I have another story I haven't touched in months because I just… I don't have the joy I used to. Writing chapters to post every week, it's become a chore. That is not how I wanted it to be. I wanted this to be fun, and at first it was. I loved posting in the beginning, but now I just don't have the drive. I want to finish this story, I do. But I have other things going on in my life, other commitments. I'm 20 years old, I'm in college. I'm technically an adult, but hell I don't feel like one most of the time.
So, from now on if I don't post every week, please do not be upset with me or if I take a long time. I need to fall back in love with this story. I need to think things through. The last couple months, I have not been happy with my writing. In fact, I've been rethinking the whole thing. And it sucks, because I was so proud of this. But now… I'm regretting even writing some things.
There are plenty of things I would change in this story, maybe if I did I would be happier with it. But I have never tried to promote any abuse, slut shaming, or just being a down right shitty person. I never wanted anyone to think that of me. I never wanted to offend anyone. I never tried to hurt people.
I wanted Elena to be sired, but now that I'm thinking about it… why the actual fuck did I think that was a good idea? Maybe I was trying to be dramatic, and see that's not what I want. I don't want to do things just to shock you, and that's what this has become.
And believe me, I know that I sound like an over dramatic, crybaby. It's always something right? I know this. I hate to disappoint people. I'm a bit disappointed in myself… The chapters I have been posting aren't from the heart, and that is not something I want to put out there. I think some of you guys have realized it too, and I'm so sorry.
I don't know what to do guys. I really just don't.
Some could say this is just a website. People write these stories for fun, but I haven't been having fun lately. So, please, bear with me while I figure out my insane bullshit. I'm also sorry for this crazy bunch of babble, but I wanted to say something. I'm so sorry.